Three's a Crowd?
by RobzBeanie
Summary: ** COMPLETE ** What would you do if the hottest guy you've ever met propositioned you? What would you do if he already had a girlfriend? ** #5 in Top Ten Completed Fics for Sep 2016 on TwiFanfictionRecs **
1. Tempted

**Author Note:** This was supposed to be an entry for the Control. Possess. Seduce. contest but the "hosts" disallowed it after it was approved by the validator. I strongly disagree with their assessment. It's complete and utter bullshit to claim that this story is actually an Edward/Tanya pairing with Bella secondary. But, I can't do anything about it if they refuse to be reasonable. I've certainly learned my lesson about which contests to avoid!

After being a judge in the Cheaters contest and seeing how other authors determined the pairing when there are multiple parties, I am even more convinced that it was bullshit to disallow my entry.

* * *

 _Chapter 1 - Tempted_

 **BPOV**

 _Oh my God, could you move any slower? Hurry up, hurry the fuck up!_

 _This_ is why I always make it a point to get to the airport with plenty of time to spare. With only two lanes open through security, it's taking freaking forever to snake through the line. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped at Dunkin' Donuts after I printed out my boarding pass, but I wasn't sure what my food options will be once I get through security.

Finally, it's my turn. I set my carry-on bag on the table, then grab a plastic bin for my purse, coat, shoes, and the bag with my breakfast. When the TSA agent motions me forward, I step into the capsule and assume the position for the body scan.

"Stay here a minute, Ma'am," someone says when I step out. _Great, another delay._ "Do you have anything in your back pockets?"

"No," I reply in confusion, stepping aside to wait.

A female agent shows up about 15 seconds later and pats down my backside with the backs of her hands. "I guess it was just all of the bling on your jeans," she says with a smile. "You're free to go."

I hurriedly grab my shoes off the belt and slide my feet into them, then pick up the rest of my stuff. By the time I've made it to gate C-4, they've already called my boarding group, so I join the line then make my way down the jetway. Setting the bag with my donut on an open seat, I lift my suitcase into the overhead bin then get settled into my seat.

Spreading a napkin on the tray table, I pull out the chocolate-frosted Long John, my stomach growling as I look at it. As I take a bite of the vaguely phallic-looking pastry, immediate flashbacks to last night leave me trying desperately to stop the inappropriate hysterical laughter bubbling up inside me.

I must be losing my mind.

By the time we push back from the gate, I've finished my breakfast. I stuff the bag with my trash into the seat pocket in front of me and stow my tray table. Closing my eyes, I lean my head back and take a deep breath, trying to relax for the two-hour flight.

As I take slow, even breaths, I become more aware of my body — specifically the ache between my thighs. As if I need the physical reminder that I've had sex. I'll be unlikely to forget the things I did over the past 24 hours for a very, very long time.

My conscience won't let me forget.

* * *

My descent into debauchery actually began a few months ago, when my boss got an email asking if he could be a grader for a question on one of the actuarial exams required in our field.

I'm sure you're thinking, don't the test takers just pencil in little bubbles which are then graded by machines? Well, _yes_ , for the multiple choice questions. But some of the exams include written answer questions that need to be looked at by a human being.

My boss had graded in the past, but when he was unable to do it this year, he gave them my name instead. He told me that grading would mean a free trip to a warm location in the dead of winter — he'd been to Orlando, Scottsdale and Las Vegas in years past — and that volunteering within the profession would look good to the higher-ups at our company. How could I refuse?

He neglected to tell me that I'd receive my first batch of approximately 275 papers to grade on the Thursday before Thanksgiving, and that I'd have to FedEx them back no later than the Monday after the holiday. I had to bring the stack of papers with me to Thanksgiving dinner with my family, and while everyone else was in a food coma watching football, I was parked at the dining room table trying to decipher the sloppy, rushed handwriting of 20-somethings who've been using computers their entire lives. And then _I_ had to bubble in their scores.

My boss also neglected to tell me that the second step, Central Grading, would take place two weeks before Christmas. Given that exam results were never released earlier than mid-January, how was I to know that? I still had baking, shopping and even more wrapping to do, and wasn't happy at the prospect of losing an entire weekend where I could be doing something productive.

This year's Central Grading was being held in Fort Myers Beach, Florida, beginning at 3pm on a Saturday. Since I was flying all the way from Seattle, the only way I could make it by the designated start time was to take the red-eye flight leaving late the night before. I landed in Charlotte before sunrise, waiting about an hour and a half for my connecting flight to Southwest Florida International Airport.

Shortly before 11am, the hotel shuttle pulled into the driveway of my resort hotel. I really hoped that the hotel would have my room ready — there was a 3pm check-in time — so that I could take a much-needed shower after my all-night travel adventure.

Luckily, my room was already available when I arrived. Smiling at the front desk clerk, I took my room key and wheeled my small suitcase toward the elevator. Once inside my beach-themed room, I set my bag on the metal rack and pulled out a fresh set of Florida-appropriate clothes.

After my shower, I was starving, so I decided to check out the poolside restaurant for a quick bite to eat. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, with the temperature in the upper 70s — so much better than the drizzle and cold I'd left behind in Seattle. Maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all.

Since I hadn't slept very well on the plane, I settled in for a short nap after lunch, setting the alarm on my phone. I woke feeling refreshed then made my way to one of the hotel conference rooms to meet the rest of the group and get started.

The head of the exam committee welcomed all of us, then went over the rules for the weekend. Once all of the exam papers had been received back, the scores had been compiled and a tentative pass mark set. In Central Grading, all papers within 20% of the pass mark — either above or below it — would be regraded, to ensure the scoring was accurate and consistent.

After his introduction, we broke into small groups, by question. There were four of us in total who'd graded question #14 — Eric Yorkie, Mike Newton and my grading partner, Tanya Stratten. I would be regrading papers that she had looked at before, and vice versa. As long as my score was within some small tolerance of hers, we could just average the two. Further apart and we'd have to go over the answers together and reconcile our scores.

It was all I could do not to stare at Tanya as we were introduced. My older sister, Rosalie, was a beautiful woman, but Tanya was absolutely stunning, with her long, golden blonde hair, hazel eyes and tanned skin. With that tan, I was surprised to learn she was from Chicago.

"Has everyone done this before?" Eric asked, looking around at the rest of us.

"I haven't," I replied shyly.

"The idea is to get through the papers as quickly as you can, so you have time to enjoy a mini vacation," Tanya explained. "I always try to get around two-thirds completed the first night. I'm planning to break for dinner around seven if you'd all like to join me in the hotel restaurant."

"Um, sure," I smiled.

"Great! We can see how you're coming along then. We don't have to finish up until 10am on Monday, but ideally you should be ready to reconcile scores by noon tomorrow. I know the guys usually plan a tee time by mid-afternoon," she added, rolling her eyes.

"Sounds like a lot of work."

"But the harder you work, the more time there is for fun," Tanya pointed out with a wink. We exchanged our room numbers and cell phone numbers, then I took my new stack of papers back to my room. At least it was quite a bit smaller than the stack I'd graded over Thanksgiving.

Luckily there was a small round table in the room where I could sit and work. I set my phone alarm for 6:45pm then pulled out the answer key and got started.

By the time my alarm went off, I was more than ready for a break. I freshened up quickly then headed downstairs to the restaurant. As I looked around the room, I spotted Mike and Eric waving me over.

"How's it going, Bella?" Mike greeted me with a smile.

"OK so far, but I wish I didn't feel like I'm deciphering code to read some of the handwriting."

"No doubt," he chuckled. "I think it's gotten worse the last few years, too." He smiled at me again, and if I hadn't known better, I'd almost think he was flirting with me. But that rarely happened — especially when someone who looked like Tanya would be joining us shortly.

"Hey guys!" Speak of the devil… I turned around, looking up at Tanya as she approached the table. Moments later, I spotted the man beside her. The first thing I noticed about him was that he was quite tall, definitely over six feet. The second thing I noticed was the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward." Eric quickly stood up, dragging a fifth chair over from a nearby table, as Tanya introduced all of us to her boyfriend.

"Pleased to meet you, Bella," he said, grasping my hand lightly and bringing it to his lips. He smiled and I was struck dumb. Of course, I shouldn't have been surprised that Tanya's boyfriend was as hot as she was. I'd just never seen a man who looked quite like him. His eyes were green, his hair an unusual shade of red mixed with brown, and artfully messy. His skin was pale, especially in contrast to Tanya's tan, and he had a strong jaw and amazingly kissable lips.

Oh my God, did I actually think that? He was Tanya's boyfriend — I should _not_ have been thinking about his lips.

A waiter delivered our menus and as I looked over mine, I couldn't help but sneak peeks at Edward over the top of the page. I could've sworn he was looking at me too, though his eyes always turned away quickly. Or maybe I was just seeing things.

"So Bella is a first-timer," Tanya said to her boyfriend after we'd placed our orders.

"Yeah? You do look young," he said, nodding toward me.

"I'm 26," I defended myself. For some reason, I didn't want Edward to think of me as a child. I'd always been horrible at guessing ages, but he was perhaps a decade older than me. "I just finished up the exams earlier this year."

"How did you get involved with grading so soon?" Mike asked.

"Oh, um, someone tried to recruit my boss, and he gave them my name when he was unable to do it."

As we chatted, both Mike and Edward seemed interested and engaged in what I was saying. Mike just seemed friendly, the very definition of an all-American guy. It was Edward that I really couldn't figure out. He was here with _Tanya_ ; why would he pay so much attention to _me_?

After dinner, I went back up my room to work more on grading, keeping in mind Tanya's goal to get about two-thirds of them done tonight. I stopped around midnight, hung the room service card with my breakfast order outside my door, and turned in for the night.

* * *

Around 11:30 the next morning, I got a text from Tanya letting me know that she'd finished with her stack of papers and was hanging out poolside. I texted her back to let her know I had just five more to go, then I'd join her outside.

"Hey, Bella," she greeted me with a friendly smile when I found her seated at a small table near the bar. "I thought we could order lunch, then figure out how many scores we need to reconcile while we wait for our food."

"Sounds good."

Tanya and I had just started eating when the most perfect male specimen I'd ever seen in my life stepped out of the pool. I tried not to stare at his sculpted physique — and likely failed miserably. He walked up behind Tanya, leaning forward and planting an upside-down kiss on her red-painted lips.

"Edward, you're dripping water everywhere!" she giggled, shoving him away. He grinned, then winked at me before pulling out a chair and sitting down between us.

"How's it going, Bella?" he asked.

"Um, OK. It looks like we only have a couple dozen papers to reconcile."

"We'll be done in an hour or so. Edward was hoping to get some sightseeing in this afternoon," Tanya added, turning to me.

"Is that why you came along on the trip?" I asked curiously.

"Any excuse to get out of Chicago weather in December," he replied with a smile. "Why didn't your boyfriend come with you?"

"Oh, um, I-I don't have a boyfriend," I answered, a little embarrassed to admit that to this Greek God. The fact was, I'd never had a lot of luck with the opposite sex.

My older brother and sister, twins Jasper and Rosalie, took after our mom's side of the family, with her German and Swedish heritage. Both were tall and attractive, with light hair and blue eyes. Meanwhile, I was petite, with dark hair and even darker eyes; I looked nothing like _any_ of them. Growing up, when Mom was out with the twins and me, without our dad, she'd occasionally get asked whether I was adopted.

I'd also been awkward and clumsy as a teenager, and if that weren't enough, I'd had no curves to speak of. I only had B cups _now_ , but back then, I'd been relentlessly teased for how flat-chested I was.

With a high school nickname of Ugly Duckling — thank you, Dad, for our last name of Swan — it was no wonder I'd made it to graduation without ever being asked out on a date.

"No boyfriend?" Edward repeated, looking shocked. "Too busy concentrating on your career?"

"Something like that," I mumbled.

After high school, I had accepted an offer of a full scholarship to attend a small liberal arts college. I'd failed to note, however, that the school had a female-to-male student ratio of about 7:1. With the odds against all of us, the quiet, studious brunette wasn't going to grab the attention of the few male students away from the vivacious, outgoing blondes. I was 23 before I had my first boyfriend.

When our waitress stopped by to check on us, Edward ordered lunch for himself. He finished not long after Tanya and I had, then excused himself to swim a few more laps while we worked. As he walked away, I tried not to drool at his backside. I really needed to get a grip and stop drooling over a guy who was so obviously taken.


	2. Need You Tonight

**Author Note:** Just splitting up the one-shot into chapter-sized pieces. The continuation will begin with Chapter 5 on Friday, May 20.

* * *

 _Chapter 2 – Need You Tonight_

Once the last paper's score had been reconciled, I offered to drop everything off with the exam committee in the conference room so that Tanya could go have fun with her boyfriend. Stopping by my hotel room next, I changed into my swimsuit before heading to the beach for a relaxing afternoon.

After a quick shower to wash off the sand and salt water, I got dressed in the nice-but-casual sundress that I'd packed and headed back to the conference room, where the entire group was invited to a buffet dinner.

When I arrived, everyone seemed to be standing around, drinking and mingling. I walked up to the small open bar, trying to see what options they had available besides beer.

"What kind of wines do you have?" I asked.

"We have white zinfandel, chardonnay and pinot noir," the bartender answered, and I wrinkled my nose. The only wines I could tolerate were Riesling or moscato.

"I think I'll just have a Diet Coke," I ordered.

"A Diet Coke? Really?" Edward questioned, coming up behind me and placing his hand on my back.

"I only like sweeter wines and I hate beer," I explained.

"Tanya's favorite is vodka and cranberry juice; you should give that a try." He smiled at me encouragingly and though I wasn't big on mixed drinks either, I nodded at the bartender to go ahead and make me one of those. If I didn't like it, I could always come back and get my Diet Coke.

Edward asked for a bottle of Heineken then motioned for me to follow him. "You look nice tonight," he said once we were a few feet away from the bar.

"Oh, um, thanks," I replied. _Smooth, Bella._ Edward looked amazing in jeans, a black t-shirt and a casual sports coat.

I took a small sip of my drink, cringing a bit at how strong it seemed. "Where's Tanya?"

He rolled his eyes. "Still getting ready. We went parasailing this afternoon, so she had to fix her hair after her shower. I gave her five minutes then said I was coming down without her since I was thirsty."

Edward asked me about my job and I found out that he was a psychologist. I enjoyed talking to him and getting to know him, one on one. He seemed like a nice guy, as well as being incredibly hot. And my ridiculous, useless crush was growing.

When we saw people starting to line up for the buffet, we took our drinks over to one of the large round tables set up around the room, opening the napkin at a third place setting to claim it for Tanya.

After filling our plates, we were walking back to the table when we saw her join the line. "We're over here," Edward told her, nodding toward the table. I'd thought I was a bit overdressed compared to the rest of the crowd, but she was in a more typical date-night dress and looked like a million bucks, as always.

With Edward seated between Tanya and me, the three of us chatted with the others at the table while we ate. When I got up to get a slice of key lime pie for dessert, he got new drinks for the two of us and Tanya disappeared… somewhere.

"You really do look nice tonight," Edward said again as I pushed away my empty pie plate. He turned his chair toward mine and put his hand on my thigh, his thumb rubbing back and forth. I stared down at his large hand, mesmerized by the action.

Wait — what was he doing? And when there were other people around? Though… when I looked around me, I realized we were the last two seated at the table.

"Don't be embarrassed," he whispered, the fingers of his other hand tilting my chin up so I was forced to look him in the eye. He smiled when we made eye contact. "I can't imagine why you don't have a boyfriend."

I swallowed thickly. "I-I've just never been popular with guys. My nickname as a teenager was the Ugly Duckling." _Ugh, word vomit much?_ Maybe I should've stopped after the first drink.

Frowning, he moved his fingers to gently stroke my cheek. "Those boys were stupid," he said plainly. "They didn't deserve you."

I gave him a small smile. I really had no idea what to say to that though.

"Hey, Bella!" a male voice called. Edward hurriedly took both of his hands off of me as Mike approached. "Some of us were gonna go to the bar across the street. Wanna come with? Maybe shoot some pool?"

"Oh, I-I'm not very good at pool." I sucked, to put it bluntly. "Bars aren't really my thing, but thanks for the offer."

Mike frowned, looking almost disappointed. "If you change your mind, I'm sure we'll be there for a few hours."

"Thanks, Mike," I smiled.

As Mike walked off, Edward almost seemed to growl under his breath. "He has a little crush on you."

"Mike?" I asked incredulously. He was a nice enough guy, but not anyone I could ever see myself with. And he lived all the way across the country in New York City, for crying out loud!

"You really don't see yourself clearly, do you? You're an attractive woman, Bella."

This time I couldn't help but scoff. The guy whose girlfriend looked like a Barbie doll come to life couldn't possibly find _me_ attractive.

"Does this feel like I'm joking, Bella?" he asked, picking up my hand and placing it—

 _Oh my God, he was hard!_

"Wh—"

"I want you, Bella," he whispered, leaning in toward me, his hand still holding mine in place over his groin. "Why don't we go back to my room?"

My eyes widened. "B-b-but… Tanya…"

"Tanya and I have an open relationship. I'm free to fuck whomever I want."

My eyes widened even further. Obviously I'd heard of open relationships, but I'd never before met anyone who was in one — at least, not that I was aware of.

"I could have such a good time with you," he continued. "Think about it, Bella. I'll be right back."

I sat in a daze as Edward stood up and walked over to the bar, presumably to get another beer. He was seriously asking me to go back to their room and have sex?

I was no blushing virgin, but I'd only had a couple of partners, and I didn't think I'd ever had what could be termed 'good sex' — at least not compared to the stories I'd heard from my friends, of guys with incredible stamina who would give them multiple orgasms. Maybe they were exaggerating, but if they weren't — I'd truly been missing out.

I picked up my glass, downing the rest of the fruity drink in one swallow. I hardly even tasted the vodka in there, now.

There was no doubt that Edward was a very, very attractive man. He was exactly my type. And somehow, I suspected that he was a hell of a lot better in bed than the men I'd been with previously. But I'd only met him last night; he was still mostly a stranger to me. Though I'd never had casual sex or a one-night stand before, I'd probably agree in a heartbeat if he were single.

But he wasn't single — he was my grading partner's boyfriend! Even if they were in an open relationship, could I really do that to her? Tanya appeared to be a nice person. It just seemed _wrong_ to have sex with her boyfriend.

And… what if he was lying about the open relationship? No… I didn't think he was. He'd invited me back to _his_ room — the room he shared with Tanya — which wasn't something he would've done if he was planning to cheat with me. Right?

Suddenly I felt a warm finger between my eyebrows, smoothing the skin. "You're thinking too hard, Bella," Edward said, sitting down and placing his fresh bottle of beer on the table.

I looked up at him, wishing I could read his mind. "What about Tanya?" I asked again.

"Tanya is out on the patio with her tongue down some guy's throat." I stared at him, my mouth gaping. "There's a good chance she'll end up in his room tonight," he continued. "And if not, she'll probably want to join us."

"J-join us?" I choked out.

"Tanya is bi; she thinks you're cute, too."

I must've looked like a deer in headlights. Was he suggesting a… a… _threesome_?

"Whatever you're comfortable with," he said softly. I just stared at him as he took another long drink of his beer, then set it back on the table. "You look like you've never been properly fucked before."

"You can tell that?" I blurted, my eyes wide.

Edward smiled widely. "I'm a psychologist, remember? I'm good at reading people." He leaned in close again, his lips almost touching my ear. "Has a man ever made you come, Bella?"

"N-no," I whispered.

" _I_ would. First with my tongue… and then with my cock. I'll give you more pleasure than you've ever experienced before."

I gulped. I believed him, totally and completely. And I was beginning to feel a stir between my legs.

"Is this turning you on?" he asked quietly. "Hearing about the things I'll do to you?"

My mouth fell open, but I couldn't make myself confirm it. "Why do you have an open relationship?" I asked curiously. Tanya was every man's fantasy — why did he need anyone else? Why did _she_?

"We don't believe humans were meant to be monogamous. I can't imagine having only one pussy for the rest of my life. I need the variety," he explained.

I frowned. I wasn't sure I agreed with that — I was too much of a romantic at heart — but I'd heard the argument about humans before. I didn't understand why he even bothered to have a girlfriend then.

"Don't make this a bigger deal than it is, Bella. It's just two people enjoying each other's bodies, that's all. I'm clean, and I've had a vasectomy — you have nothing to worry about."

As I stared at Edward, he laid his right hand back on my thigh, then slowly began to move it up my body — over my hip and up my side, brushing the side of my breast. My nipple tightened, though he stayed inches away from it. I could feel my breathing pick up, thinking about feeling his hand touching my bare skin like that.

I wanted him; I couldn't really deny that. There were so many reasons why I should turn him down — forget this ever happened and go back to my life in Seattle tomorrow still wondering why sex was so important to so many people.

Edward's finger touched my lips and I unconsciously parted them. He traced the shape of my lips and I started to feel this wetness between my thighs. _Oh God._ Why didn't I want to do this, again?

"Let's go, Bella," he whispered. When I just stared at him, he stood up, holding his hand out to me.

And I placed my hand in his.

* * *

Just a few minutes later, we were inside Edward and Tanya's hotel room and he was pressing me into the door. His hard body was touching the entire length of mine, and I could feel his erection against my hip.

When his mouth claimed mine, I was lost to the feeling. His lips were just as kissable as I'd imagined earlier. His tongue explored my mouth, while one hand kneaded my breast and the other my ass. He was consuming me, devouring me, and we were both still fully clothed.

"Fuck, I need you naked now," he groaned, nipping at my jaw.

"I… I have to go to the bathroom," I rushed out. I needed to slow things down before I burst, but it was also the truth after those two drinks.

Edward exhaled a heavy breath, then took a step back, motioning toward the bathroom. "I'll just get things ready out here."

I quickly stepped inside and closed the door, leaning my back against it and taking a deep breath.

As I washed my hands afterward, I stared at my face in the mirror. Was I really going to do this? To have sex with a near stranger? A stranger whose girlfriend I'd just spent the last day and a half working with? Whose girlfriend might be having sex right now with another man in another room… or might come back here and find us in bed together?

I could still back out. I could tell Edward I'd changed my mind. But a large part of me didn't want to do that. And not just the part that wanted to understand what the big deal was about sex.

I'd had this recurring nightmare for years that one day in the future I'd meet my soulmate and he'd break up with me when he found out just how inexperienced with sex I really was. My gay best friend, Jacob, had told me I was being ridiculous when I finally confessed my fears to him. He'd said that any man who'd dump me for that wasn't truly my soulmate.

I still worried though. And I was pretty confident that after a night with Edward, I'd no longer be inexperienced.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called through the door as he knocked softly. "Are you all right in there?"

"I'm f-fine!" I called. "I'll be out in a minute."

Taking another deep breath, I turned toward the door, placing my hand on the knob. "Don't be a coward, Bella," I said to myself.

When I stepped out into the main part of the hotel room, I was struck dumb by the sight in front of me. The covers on the king-sized bed had been turned down, and Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me.

And he was buck naked.

"Oh my God!" I yelped.

Grinning, he stood up and walked over to me. I bit my lip, trying my best to keep my eyes above his neck.

"You can look," he said sensually as he reached me. It was tempting, but I couldn't, not if I was going to keep my cool. "Don't be nervous," he whispered, reaching out to gently push my long hair back over my shoulders. "I won't hurt you. Tonight is all about pleasure."

Grasping the back of my neck, he leaned down to kiss me, much more softly than he had earlier. Unable to help myself, I kissed him back, reaching out to grasp him around the waist. Goddamn, he was a good kisser. If he was even half as talented in bed, I was in for a very good time.

Edward began walking backwards until he was seated on the bed again. He looked up at me, a hungry look in his eyes. "Take off your clothes," he commanded.

I must have hesitated a bit too long, because he suddenly leaned forward, grasped the bottom of my sundress and lifted it up. I took it from there and pulled it over my head, setting it on the nightstand. Stepping out of my sandals, I stood before him in just my strapless bra and panties as he looked me up and down, then licked his lips.

Swallowing thickly, I reached behind my back to unhook my bra and set it on top of my dress. Edward lay back on the bed with a smile, motioning for me to join him, but I stood still for a moment, taking in the magnificent creature in front of me. Every single thing about him was perfection.

His face was movie-star handsome, but he was just as attractive below the neck. His chest, arms and legs showed clearly that he worked out, though he wasn't overly muscled. There was a light dusting of reddish brown hair on his chest that made him look like a real man.

And now that I was allowing myself to look at it, his cock was… I mean, it's not usually the most attractive part of the male anatomy. Edward's cock was perhaps slightly larger than average in both length and thickness, but not overly huge — at least, I was hoping that the fact that he'd manscaped was making it look larger than it really was. And it was pointing straight at me, which should have intimidated me, yet somehow it didn't.

I'd barely put a knee on the bed when he pounced, turning me onto my back and hovering over me. "You look even better than I'd imagined," he whispered, lowering himself to kiss me again. I eagerly opened for him, our tongues tangling together as he explored my mouth. I brought my hands up to his shoulders, slowing tracing down his toned arms. When I reached his hands, he grasped my hands in his and lifted them up above my head.

"Keep them there," he instructed, as his mouth began its descent. I shivered when he licked and sucked at my neck. His lips skimmed my collarbone from one side to the other, and finally he took my left nipple into his mouth. I could feel the ache for him growing as he bit down gently, then sucked and blew on it until I could no longer feel the sting. By the time he'd switched sides, the ache was getting much harder to ignore.

Edward's thumbs teased my pebbled nipples as he began kissing his way down my abdomen. When I realized his intention, I tried to bring my legs together, but his lower half was sprawled between them. I would have gone to the spa before my trip if I'd had any inkling that something like this could happen!

"I believe I promised to make you come with my tongue, Bella," he said. "Please let me."

"I-I haven't waxed," I protested, but he just smirked in response, sliding further down the bed. He grasped the sides of my panties, then began to slowly pull them down and off.

Looking up, Edward smiled at me. "You're in for a treat, baby."

"Oh God!" I yelled when he took a long lick from my entrance up to my clit. He wrapped his arms around my hips to hold me in place then began alternating between long licks and flicks of his tongue. I squirmed as much as I could in his vicelike grip, trying to keep my moans in check.

Finally I understood the big deal about oral sex; my previous lovers had thought a couple of tentative licks meant they'd done their duty.

When I couldn't keep my arms up anymore, I brought them down beside me, fisting the sheets to keep from tangling my fingers in Edward's hair. He unwrapped one of his arms, then slid his middle finger inside me while he enveloped my clit in his hot mouth.

"Oooohhhh…" I moaned when he stopped suddenly and changed course. I'd been almost there! I could feel his smile against my skin; he knew it too, and he didn't want me to come yet.

"You have such a sweet pussy, Bella," he purred, and I could feel my entire body flush. Weren't they pretty much all the same? He put his mouth on me again and I quickly climbed back up to the edge of the precipice.

"Edward?" a female voice called. And all of time froze.


	3. I Want Your Sex

**Author Note:** Just splitting up the one-shot into chapter-sized pieces. The continuation will begin with Chapter 5 on Friday, May 20.

* * *

 _Chapter 3 – I Want Your Sex_

Tanya was here. _Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…_

"We're in here, babe!" Edward called. My eyes widened and I tried to scramble away from him, but his grip was too strong. I wasn't going anywhere unless he allowed it.

"Oh!" she exclaimed with delight as she came into view. "And here I thought you'd never talk her into it."

I was still struggling to escape Edward's grasp, but her words brought me up short. Tanya _knew_ he was planning to proposition me! Maybe she'd even left us alone at the table on purpose.

"Relax, baby, it's OK," he assured me, his hands gently brushing my stomach.

His tongue and finger went back to work on me, but I was still distracted by Tanya's presence in the room. She stepped closer, rubbing her hand along Edward's bare back while his face was buried between my legs.

"Mmm… let me see, Edward." _What?!_

He lifted his head a bit and she hummed her approval. "Nice. Is she as delicious as she looks?"

"Better," he answered, as my mouth fell open. Edward had told me that Tanya was bisexual, but I couldn't believe she approved of this!

She sat on the end of the bed, and I couldn't figure out what she was doing at first, until I heard what sounded like her shoe hitting the floor.

"Bella!" Edward called sharply to bring my attention back to him. "Close your eyes, baby. Forget Tanya. She's not upset that you're here with me. Just relax and focus on me."

I didn't know if I could _ever_ forget that Tanya was in the room, but I did close my eyes, and in no time I was lost to the feeling of his lips, tongue and finger.

"Make her come, Edward," Tanya directed. "I want to watch her."

I moaned loudly as he redoubled his efforts, flicking his tongue faster and faster as he added a second and then a third finger inside me. "P-please…" I begged, though I had no idea what exactly I was pleading for.

When he placed his mouth over me and began to suck, I felt this wave start deep within me, spreading outward until my whole body began to shudder.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," I chanted as the waves of pleasure seemed to go on and on and on. Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, Edward pulled his mouth off of me and began taking long, slow licks.

When I came back down to earth, I slowly opened my eyes. Edward was now kneeling between my legs and Tanya was kneeling beside him, the two of them kissing passionately while her hand moved up and down his hard cock. It was just so _weird_ to see them kissing moments after he'd gone down on me, but Tanya had obviously found it arousing.

"Fuck, that was hot," she moaned, pulling away. Edward lay back along the bottom of the bed and she bent down, taking his cock into her mouth.

The whole. Entire. Thing.

Sure, I'd heard of deep throating, but honestly, I'd thought it was just a myth. Clearly, it was not.

Edward saw me watching and winked at me. "Why don't you help her, Bella?" he suggested. "There's nothing like getting sucked off by two women at once."

Tanya pulled her mouth off with a pop, motioning for me to come closer. "I'll take this side, you can have the other," she invited, licking up one side of his cock.

I'd given blowjobs a handful of times before, but I was no expert like Tanya seemed to be. Edward was smiling at me encouragingly and if I was being honest with myself, the thought of sharing his cock with Tanya — of participating in a threesome — was… kind of turning me on. Together, we could do for him what he'd just done for me.

Slowly, I got up to my knees and crawled to the end of the bed. I tentatively licked up the length of Edward's cock, encouraged by his moans.

After a minute or so, Tanya began placing wet kisses down toward the base, then enveloped his balls in her mouth. Hesitantly, I licked at the head before sucking it into my mouth.

"Fuck, so good," Edward groaned. While Tanya worked down below, I wrapped my hand around his cock and explored the head with my tongue, poking it into the slit and running it along the ridge under the head.

"OK, stop, stop…" he panted. "I don't want to come like this."

I backed away, sitting back on my haunches as I wondered where we could go from there. What if she wanted to touch _me_? I wasn't sure I could handle _that_.

"Lay back," he said, nodding toward the pillows. I sat frozen for a moment, wondering which of us he was talking to. His girlfriend was here now, so maybe he wouldn't want to have sex with _me_ anymore. "You, Bella," he added with a wink. "I can have Tanya any time. I want _you_ right now."

And despite the fact that he'd given me the best orgasm of my life just a few minutes ago… I wanted him, too. I wanted his cock. In me. I'd deal with what that meant later.

After I'd gotten myself into place, Edward crawled up my body, his hands lightly skimming my sides as they had earlier, leaving goosebumps in their path. I saw Tanya stand up and reach for the zipper on the back of her dress, but then he turned my head so I couldn't see her anymore.

"Focus on me, OK?" He took his cock in his hand, rubbing it around my entrance, and I sucked in a breath. While he wasn't porn star huge, he seemed far bigger than the men I'd been with previously, and I was a little anxious, despite how much I wanted it. "Don't worry… I'll go slow."

It was like he could read my mind. I stared into his eyes, deciding to trust that he knew what he was doing — and that he wasn't lying about being clean or having gotten a vasectomy. He leaned down, kissing me gently, and then slowly pressed inside.

I moaned as I felt him stretching me. It wasn't exactly painful, but I definitely needed to get used to the feeling.

"So fucking tight," he groaned. He pulled back a little, then pushed in again until he couldn't possibly go any further. "OK?"

"Yes," I whispered.

As he slowly pulled out again, I brought my hands up, clinging to his strong shoulders. As he moved, he kissed my lips, my jaw, my neck… He was being so sweet; from the way he'd called it "fucking" earlier, I honestly hadn't expected it to be like this.

"You feel so good," he whispered. "Still doing OK?" I nodded, not really sure that I could speak.

That must have been what he was waiting for, because he reared back a bit, lifting my right leg, and began to speed up. A lot.

"Oh!" I yelped, surprised more than anything.

"Fuck! God, so tight!" With his left hand, he reached down and squeezed my right breast, his thrusts getting harder and faster until he was most definitely fucking me. I couldn't help but try to meet his thrusts.

I heard Tanya moan and glanced to my right. She was lying on her side, completely naked, and staring at where we were joined… and her hand was between her legs, her French-manicured fingers rubbing fast circles over her clit. _Holy shit!_ Tanya was actually getting herself off to the sight of her boyfriend fucking another woman.

Edward sat back on his heels, pulling my body with him until my hips were sprawled across his thighs, while my shoulders were still on the bed. I continued to try to meet his thrusts as best I could, having quickly realized that it felt even better when I did that.

"Mmm, look at the way her tits bounce when you fuck her," Tanya commented, bringing her free hand up to cup and squeeze her own perfectly perky breast. While I still couldn't understand how she could watch her boyfriend have sex with another woman — and obviously enjoy watching it — the fact that she _was_ , was turning me on. I actually found it _hot_ to have a captive audience. Did this mean I was… kinky?

"You should touch her, Edward."

"No way," he growled. "I promised I'd make her come with my cock and I will."

My eyes widened at that statement, and I felt him shifting me, changing the angle. "Oh God!" He hit some magic spot and I forgot everything but the feel of his cock moving inside me.

"That's it, baby. Take my cock. You're so fucking sexy and you don't even know it."

I moaned at his dirty talk, fisting the sheets. His thrusts were relentless and I could feel and hear his skin slapping against mine. He had incredible stamina compared to my past lovers. His skin was glistening with sweat and he was an amazing sight to behold.

"Oh my—Edward!" I screamed as my second orgasm of the night rushed through me. I closed my eyes, surrendering to the feeling.

"Yeah, baby, scream my name! Fuck, you're squeezing the hell out of my cock!"

And then suddenly his cock was… gone. I opened my eyes to the sight of Edward jerking off until suddenly, hot streams of cum painted my stomach.

"Shit," he moaned, letting my hips drop to the bed.

"Look at that pretty picture," Tanya cooed. I watched wide-eyed as she dragged her pinky through his cum then brought it up to her mouth, humming as she sucked on it. "Want a taste?" she asked me.

I wasn't really capable of speech, but she must have taken that as a yes, because she swiped her finger again and held it to my lips. I'd never tasted cum before, and I was admittedly curious, so I obediently sucked her finger into my mouth.

 _Yuck!_ I swallowed quickly, certain that I was grimacing. Did she actually _like_ that?!

Tanya laughed, then leaned forward and began licking his cum directly off my stomach. Oh my God, another woman was licking me! I was most definitely kinky if I was allowing _that_.

Edward got up off the bed, returning with a wet washcloth from the bathroom. He gently cleaned up the mess then smiled at me. Tanya disappeared at some point while he was cleaning me up, and she was still gone when Edward shifted to lie in the center of the bed beside me, pulling up the covers. He encouraged me to roll onto my side then threw his arm over me.

"Mmm… you look well fucked. Did I wear you out?" he chuckled.

"You have a lot more stamina than the guys I've been with before," I mumbled, and he chuckled again, brushing my hair back.

"Thanks for the fuck," he whispered, kissing my cheek. And then I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

* * *

I woke up disoriented. It was dark, though some light was coming from around the corner. The corner of _where_ , I wasn't sure.

"Fuck me harder, Edward," a female voice moaned, and suddenly it all came rushing back to me. I was in Florida, in Edward and Tanya's hotel room, and I'd had mind-blowing sex with Edward last night — while Tanya watched.

I carefully rolled over onto my back, then slightly onto my right side. In the dim light, I could see Tanya on her knees beside me. Her chest was on the bed, and her face was turned away from me. Looking up, I saw Edward kneeling behind her, obviously fucking her as she moaned and whimpered with pleasure.

As I stared at him, he caught my eye and winked. He slapped Tanya's ass and she moaned loudly as the sound reverberated around the room. She brought her right hand down beneath her and I realized she was helping to get herself off again.

I turned my attention back to Edward, watching his toned abs as he thrust into her again and again. He was gripping her hips tightly, bringing out the muscles in his forearms, and I could hear his skin slapping against hers. When he'd fucked me, I'd been distracted by the way he was making me feel, but now I could watch him in all his glory.

"Gonna come," Tanya whimpered, and he increased his pace until she was moaning loudly from her orgasm, her entire body shaking. I paid attention to his face when it contorted in pleasure just a few seconds later as he froze, obviously reaching his own peak. God, he was beautiful.

Gasping, he moved away from Tanya and she flipped onto her back. He lowered himself onto her and they kissed passionately, their arms wrapped around each other.

Oddly, it felt almost more intimate watching them kiss than just seconds ago when I'd watched them having sex. But I was starting to understand Tanya's fascination with us a bit more.

* * *

The next time I opened my eyes, the room was bright and I knew exactly where I was. I rolled over, nearly jumping out of my skin when I saw Edward lying beside me on the bed. He was on his side, with his head propped up on his left hand, watching me. The covers were low enough that most of his torso was bare.

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Good morning," I answered quietly, not sure how to deal with a 'morning after.' "What were you doing?"

"Watching you sleep." I just stared at him for a moment, and a wide grin spread across his face. "After everything we shared last night, you're still blushing," he chuckled.

Figured he'd be the first to bring up last night. "Where's Tanya?"

"Shower," he answered, nodding in the direction of the bathroom. "Maybe you and I could join her…?" He reached his hand out toward me and I instinctively backed away.

"Wh-what time is it?"

Edward stretched, then rolled over until he could see the clock on the nightstand on the far side of the bed. "Almost nine."

 _Shit!_ "I need to go," I exclaimed, hurriedly throwing the covers off and standing up. I wasn't even embarrassed by the fact that I was still naked. In a panic, I looked around on the floor for my panties, but I didn't see them anywhere.

Giving up, I picked up my bra from on top of the nightstand and wrapped it around me. I struggled to hook it behind my back, my panic not helping in the slightest. _Damn strapless bra!_

"Come here." Edward motioned for me to turn around, then helped me to fit the hooks together. "What's wrong?" he asked when he'd finished.

"My flight leaves in less than four hours," I explained, slipping my sundress over my head and wriggling into it. "I need to shower and pack, and…"

I stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath, then started looking for my panties again.

"You know it's just a myth that you need to be at the airport two hours before a flight." He paused. "What are you looking for?"

"My underwear!" I cried.

Edward laughed. "Like anyone will know if you're wearing any."

I looked up at him, and I had to admit that he was right. "Ummm…"

He crooked his finger and I stepped closer to the bed as he sat up on the edge. "Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?"

My eyes widened. "Um, morning breath…"

He rolled his eyes, puckering his lips. Giving him a small smile, I pecked his lips quickly then stepped back.

"I, um, had a nice time last night," I admitted. _Understatement._

"I could tell," he winked, and I felt my face heat up again. "You'll make some man a very lucky guy one day, Bella."

I gave him another small smile, then waved as I backed away. I found my purse where I'd left it on the counter just inside the door, then opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.


	4. I've Had the Time of My Life

**Author Note:** Just splitting up the one-shot into chapter-sized pieces. The continuation will begin with Chapter 5 on Friday, May 20.

* * *

 _Chapter 4 – I've Had the Time of My Life_

Edward and Tanya's room was the second from the corner, so I had a long walk back to the elevators. As I made my way there, I realized in horror that I was doing the dreaded walk of shame for the first time in my life. I passed only two older couples in the hall, nodding at both of them, then hit the UP arrow.

When the doors opened, a handful of people were already on the elevator. One young woman was wearing a sundress fairly similar to mine, and I started to feel like maybe it wasn't so obvious that I was in last night's clothes.

I stepped off on my floor, making it to my own room without running into anyone else. Inside, I set my purse down then found the outfit that I'd chosen for the flight back. I stepped into the bathroom, and—

"Oh my God!" I screamed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a rat's nest! Why the hell hadn't Edward warned me? It had to be sooooo obvious to everyone who'd crossed my path this morning that I was doing the walk of shame.

 _Stop it, Bella_ , I scolded myself. Having sex wasn't a crime. _But having sex with another woman's boyfriend_ , that little voice taunted…

Shaking my head, I turned on the water in the shower and undressed, then stepped under the pounding spray. As I washed up, the reality of what I'd done started to hit me.

I'd had my first one-night stand, but it was so much more than that. I'd participated in a threesome with another woman… and I'd liked it. OK, it wasn't like Tanya and I had done anything truly sexual together, but still… We'd shared Edward's cock — and cum — and she'd licked his cum off of my stomach. That counted, right? Even if I still wasn't attracted to women.

I felt like I should feel guilty or something. I'd had sex with another woman's boyfriend — only, she didn't care! That still boggled my mind.

I was more than a little freaked out at the fact that I'd found it to be a turn-on when Tanya was watching us have sex. And though I'd never been a fan of watching porn, I'd also enjoyed watching Tanya and Edward go at it. I was a… voyeur? I wasn't even sure of the proper word.

Jacob would absolutely die if I told him what I'd done. I didn't think he'd judge me though… at least I hoped not. He was usually pretty open-minded.

After my shower, I combed out my wet hair, then got dressed and started working on repacking my suitcase. When I'd finished, I blew dry my hair, then hunted down my flight itinerary. I still had around two and a half hours until my flight to Atlanta, and it was about a half hour drive to the airport.

I'd ordinarily leave around this time, but I recalled Edward's comment that you really didn't need to get there two hours early. Maybe I'd go downstairs to the hotel's coffee shop and get a muffin or a danish or something; it'd surely be cheaper than getting something at the airport.

Just as I was about to slide my feet into my shoes, there was a knock at the door. Wondering who in the heck it could be, I walked to the door and peered through the peephole.

Edward!

I just stood there in shock for a moment, trying to figure out what to do — what I _wanted_ to do. In the end, curiosity won out.

I swung open the hotel room door and Edward stepped inside, smiling at me as I closed the door behind him. Damn he looked good in jeans and a blue striped polo shirt, his hair still damp from his shower.

"I believe I have something you wanted," he said.

I looked at him in confusion as he walked farther into the room, before realizing he expected me to follow him. He pulled something out of the right front pocket of his jeans and I stared at the scrap of light pink fabric.

"My underwear!" I'd chalked them up as lost.

"Yep," he smiled. "Found 'em under the bed."

"Thanks."

I took them from him and hurriedly opened my suitcase, adding my panties to the plastic bag filled with my dirty clothes. As I zipped up my bag again, Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind and began kissing the side of my neck. I let instinct take over and tilted my head to give him more access. He hands came up to cup and massage my breasts and my God, I wanted him again.

"I need to have you again," he groaned, as if reading my mind once more. "Take off your clothes and get on the bed."

"I need to leave for the airport soon!" I cried incredulously, though something about his bossiness was hot.

"Then I'll have to work fast."

I gaped at him in disbelief as he yanked his shirt over his head and began unbuttoning his jeans. He seriously wanted to have sex with me again?

"Do I have to rip them off of you?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow when I just stood there staring. I quickly began stripping out of my clothes, no doubt in my mind that he'd make good on his threat if I didn't.

I hadn't even taken my socks off when Edward practically threw me onto the bed. He landed on top of me and wasted no time in claiming my lips. One hand wrapped around the back of my head, allowing him to control the kiss, and the other made its way between my legs.

"Oh God," I moaned. He wasn't taking it easy on me the way he had last night.

Shoving my breasts together, he began alternating licks between both nipples until they were hard and wanting. "God, I love your tits," he groaned.

I couldn't help but scoff. Edward stopped was he was doing, looking up at me. "You think I'm lying?"

"I think your girlfriend's breasts must be at least two cup sizes bigger than mine, if not three."

He rolled off of me, then brushed my hair back off my face. "Tanya is a beautiful, sexy woman — if a bit high maintenance," he added, rolling his eyes. "But some of her attributes may have… had a little help."

My eyes widened. "You're saying she has implants?" Maybe that explained why they'd seemed so perky last night.

He nodded. "And while they may look the same as real tits — at least with clothes on — I do miss the feel of soft, natural breasts." Reaching out, he squeezed my right breast in his hand. "Mmmm…" He rolled me onto my back, taking my nipple in his mouth again.

Throwing my head back, I closed my eyes and brought my hand up to run my fingers through his hair while he sucked on my nipples. His fingers made their way between my legs again and I felt his cock, hot and ready to go, against my thigh.

"God, there are so many ways I want to have you," he moaned, coming back to my mouth.

"We don't have time for that," I chuckled, but what I really wanted to say was, _Tell me more_.

"So what _do_ you want?" he whispered, nipping at my bottom lip. "Do you want me to fuck you from behind, the way you watched me fuck Tanya last night? Did you like that?"

Oh hell, Tanya really did seem to enjoy that position.

"Bella," he shouted, slapping me on the ass. I yelped from surprise. "Tell me what you want. Do you want me to fuck you like that?"

"Yes! Yes!" I cried desperately. Honestly I wasn't picky — I wanted his cock pretty much any way he wanted to give it to me.

"Don't ever be afraid to voice your desires," he said, motioning for me to turn over. "Now get up to your knees."

At first I got into the same position that Tanya had been in, but he reached beneath me to lift my chest until I was braced on my hands. Moving into place behind me, he began brushing both hands over my backside, dipping his fingers down to rub along my slit and inserting just the tip of one finger inside me.

"You're wet for me, Bella," he purred. "Have you been thinking about how I made you feel last night?" _Oh hell…_

"Answer me," he yelled sharply, slapping me again.

"Yes!" I shouted. "I-I'd never felt anything like that before." And probably never would again with anyone else, I feared.

"God, you look amazing, spread open and waiting for my cock," he groaned. "I want to fuck you so hard you're still feeling it when you land in Seattle."

"Oh God," I whimpered. I had no doubt that he could do that.

Finally, he gave me what I'd asked for, sliding his cock inside me until he was buried to the hilt. Slowly he pulled back all the way out, then slid back in again. "Mmm… I love watching your pussy swallow my cock."

After a half dozen times, I was getting increasingly frustrated; I'd never been so turned on in my life. "You're teasing me," I whined, and Edward chuckled.

"Tell me you want my cock."

"I want your cock," I all but screamed. Oh God, who was this wanton creature he was turning me into?

"As you wish."

I screamed when he thrust in hard, then began fucking me in earnest. The sounds of skin slapping, moans and heavy breathing filled the room. His cock felt enormous from this angle, and every thrust was hitting that spot that made me nearly see stars.

It was absolutely as good as I'd thought it would be.

"You sound like you're enjoying this," Edward noted, a smile in his voice.

"Mmmm… ex-except…"

"Except what?"

"I wish… I wish I could see you," I admitted. As good as it felt, this position was kind of impersonal, and I did enjoy staring at Edward's beautiful body.

He pulled out suddenly, tapping my ass. "Get down on your stomach."

As soon as I'd done what he asked, he began pushing my left leg up toward the top of the bed, bending the knee. I ended up leaning a bit on my right hip. Straddling my right leg, he slid his cock back inside me, then stopped.

"Turn your head and you can watch me," he said softly. I looked back at him over my left shoulder, and he smiled. "Hi."

"Hi," I echoed with a laugh.

"Ready for more?"

At my nod, he began to fuck me again, staring into my eyes the entire time. It felt so much more intimate like this, maintaining eye contact while his cock brought me right to the edge.

Leaning forward, he grasped the back of my neck. I pulled him closer until I could reach his lips and our tongues tangled together. I finally had to break away as my breathing sped up, but he stayed close.

"Ed-Edward," I moaned. "Oh God, I'm gonna come so hard."

"Do it," he commanded. "Squeeze my cock, baby."

"Oh oh ohhhhh…" I screamed as I came, feeling it in every cell in my body. I almost couldn't believe it was possible to experience something so all-consuming.

"Fuck!" Edward yelled, freezing in place with his cock buried deep inside me. Neither of us moved for what felt like ages before he finally chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled out and flopped onto his back. "Oh my God…"

I lay on my stomach panting, trying to catch my breath. Last night had been incredible in all of its kinky glory, but _this_ , being able to focus solely on Edward… I didn't even have words.

And then I realized that I really hadn't thought about Tanya's whereabouts since Edward had shown up in my room. It hadn't occurred to me to ask where she was — and what she thought he was doing — while he was lying naked beside me, basking in the afterglow.

What did that say about me?

I also remembered what Edward had said earlier about still feeling him when I landed in Seattle, and I was certain that his words would turn out to be prophetic. It still felt like he was inside me; this must've been what women meant when they said they were 'sore' after sex.

Totally fucking worth it though.

"You're gonna miss your flight if I don't let you go," he said quietly, breaking the silence.

 _Fuck!_ "Oh shit!" I yelled, sitting up in a panic.

Edward sat up with me, then leaned over to kiss me sweetly. "You'd better get dressed."

I slid off the bed, then began picking up my clothes from the floor while he put his jeans back on. As I stepped into my panties, I realized Edward's cum was running down my thigh! He'd come inside me that time instead of pulling out as he had last night.

I left my panties on the edge of the bed then started to head to the bathroom to clean up, when his arm shot out, grasping me around the waist and pulling me back into his bare chest.

"Leave it," he ordered. "You can take home a little reminder of me."

I laughed. "Edward, that's… gross."

"You can always leave your underwear off, maybe put on a skirt… let everyone know that I've had you and marked you. Yeah… I think I like that." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You're crazy," I chuckled.

He spun me around, wrapping his arms around me. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Bella." He brushed my hair back, almost combing through it with his fingers. "It's OK to have sex and enjoy it."

"I-I know…"

Edward smiled, then handed me my bra from on top of my pile of clothes. "Put that on and then don't move."

I watched in confusion as he opened my suitcase, pulling out my sundress from last night. He helped me into it, then handed me the cardigan I'd been wearing earlier, before shrugging his own shirt over his head.

"Perfect," he grinned once I was dressed. I was so going to clean up the moment he was out of my room. Bending down, he kissed me again and even though I had to leave, I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back. I needed one last memory of his amazing kisses.

"You'd better go," he whispered against my lips.

"You first," I mumbled.

Laughing, he reached down and squeezed my hand then headed toward the door. Just before he rounded the corner out of sight, he turned around, looking back at me with a cocky grin on his face.

"Same time, next year?"

* * *

 **A/N:** Based on a true story that happened to me 15 years ago. You decide how much fantasy was mixed in with real life. ;)

For those wondering, I wrote this continuation before the Stripped sequel, because it was more clear in my mind. I can start working on that one now! If I limit updates to twice a week, I should be able to make progress with other writing.


	5. Back to Life

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's excited about this story! I realize for some of you, it's not your cup of tea, if you're even still reading this, ha.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading the remainder of this story. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 5 – Back to Life_

 _December 2013_

It's around 7pm Pacific time when my flight finally lands in Seattle. As I make my way off the plane, I'm not surprised to find that Edward was absolutely right that I'd still be feeling him — nearly 12 hours later.

I trudge through the airport with my carry-on bag before taking the shuttle to the long-term parking lot. By the time I've nearly reached my neighborhood, I'm exhausted. Flying always makes me tired, and I've never been able to fall asleep on planes; even as a child, I couldn't sleep sitting up.

I'm also starving. I did have time to grab something to eat during my layover in Atlanta, but that was over seven hours ago. I'm not sure what I have in the way of food in my house, and I'm too tired to cook anyway, so I pull into the parking lot of my local grocery store.

Besides scoring something for tonight's dinner, I know I have a grocery list of a few items in the Reminders on my phone. I work my way around the store, eventually coming to the "Feminine Products" aisle for a box of tampons. As I put the box in my cart, I look up and see the many varieties of condoms available, and I'm reminded of the fact that Edward didn't use a condom when we had sex — and he didn't pull out this morning.

He told me explicitly that he'd had a vasectomy, but… what if he was lying? He can't be older than his mid-30s, and that's awfully young for a man to have gotten a vasectomy. I'm not on birth control. My period is due next weekend, so I know the chances of getting pregnant wouldn't be high in any case, but…

Deciding that it can't hurt to make sure, I walk over to the pharmacy area and pick up a box of Plan B.

Ninety minutes later, I'm settled on the couch in my pajamas, my phone in hand. I'd texted Jake when I got off the plane to let him know I'd landed safely, and I think about sending him another text now, but… I know he'll ask about my trip, and I don't want to lie to him. I think I need to process everything that happened before I tell Jake about any of it.

I keep trying to remind myself of what Edward said this morning — "it's OK to have sex and enjoy it." Of course I know that, but that doesn't stop my conscience from screaming at me that I've done something wrong. I was raised to believe that sex is a normal, healthy part of a relationship, but I'm not in a relationship with Edward. I had sex for purely physical reasons.

And I slept with another woman's boyfriend. Even if she didn't care, I still did something that I've often derided in other women. I have friends who've been "the other woman" and I've generally lost respect for them, because I've felt like they didn't respect _themselves_. Am I any better than them just because Tanya condoned it?

* * *

The three-hour time difference is really messing with my head, but I arrive at the office by 9am on Tuesday morning. Once I've made it to my cubicle, I take a few minutes to put together the receipts from my trip so that I can forward them to the Society for reimbursement, then start wading through my emails.

"Hey, Bella, welcome back," my friend Angela calls. I look up from my computer, smiling at her. "Ugh," she continues without taking a breath, "I've been in a meeting all morning and I'm so ready for lunch!"

"It's only ten o'clock," I chuckle, glancing at the corner of my screen. She groans again, continuing on to her own cubicle, and I shake my head.

I manage to put Angela off until 11:30, then grab my purse and head downstairs to the company's cafeteria with her.

"So how was your trip?" she asks as we sit down at a table. "Did you get to enjoy Florida at all?"

"A little," I answer. "I finished up with my grading partner early Sunday afternoon, then went to the beach to enjoy the sun.

"And now, I swear I am so far behind. I still haven't finished shopping for all of my nieces and nephews, and I haven't wrapped _anything_. And next weekend, I need to bake cookies, so I guess that means I need to shop every evening after work this week." I really didn't need to lose an entire weekend like that in December.

"How many kids do your brother and sister have now?"

"Five in total. Jasper and Alice have two, and Rosalie and Emmett have three, since my youngest niece, Peyton, was born last August. And they still want another one," I add with an eye roll. My sister and her husband have always planned to have four children. I was really expecting them to decide three was enough once they finally got their girl, but they swear they still want four. I think they're insane.

"I still can't believe you let Aro talk you into grading. The last thing I ever want to do is think about an actuarial exam question again," Angela chuckles. "No, thank you!"

"You know the higher-ups look favorably at volunteering."

"I don't mind volunteering. I mean, I was thinking of joining the POG they just announced on the SOA website. But I have no interest in grading. Oh, how was your partner? What was her name? Tara or something?"

"Tanya," I answer, feeling my cheeks heat up a bit just thinking about her… and her boyfriend. "She was nice. She's been a grader several times, so it was good to work with someone who's experienced."

"Do you think you'll do it again next year?"

I stop short at that question. Edward's flippant "same time, next year" repeats in my head. _Will_ I grade again? Do I want to? If I do, there's no guarantee that Edward will be there. Maybe Tanya won't want to do it again, or maybe they'll have broken up by then. If I don't grade, there's no chance of seeing him again, but I don't even know if I _want_ to see him. Maybe he's better off left in the past, as a nice memory.

"I don't know," I tell her honestly.

* * *

Wednesday afternoon, my email pings, and my mouth falls open as I stare at the message. I have a LinkedIn request from Tanya Stratten.

I click on her profile, and besides the professional-looking headshot, I see that she's clearly serious about using the website for networking. She has a fully drawn out list of her education, skills and accomplishments, and well over one thousand contacts.

I signed up for LinkedIn after I started working full time, but I've rarely bothered to update anything in my profile. I don't even have a photo. I never search for new contacts or send requests to the "People you may know" that I'm shown.

I do, however, accept all requests from people I know — no actuarial recruiters, please — so I click the button to connect with Tanya, wondering if it'll turn out to be a mistake.

* * *

By the end of the week, I'm exhausted. After leaving work each night, I've headed out to different stores to finish up my Christmas shopping, then come home and started wrapping. I'd been planning to finish wrapping tonight, but then Jake texted me earlier and said he was bringing takeout since he hasn't seen me in over a week.

Truth be told, I've kind of been avoiding him.

I jump up from the couch when I hear Jake's signature knock on my door. He's got a key, so I don't know why he even bothers to knock.

"Hey, Bells," he greets me with a big smile, reaching out to hug me with one arm. I lead him to the kitchen while I get drinks for the two of us from the fridge. I don't even ask what he's brought — Jake works as a personal trainer, so I know it's something healthier than most takeout. I consider it a victory if he brings anything with meat.

As we eat, Jake tells me all about the new client he started working with this week. He says the guy is drop dead gorgeous — Jake has a thing for blonds — and already at an ideal weight; he just wants to tone up.

"I get this vibe from him that he might be gay, but I'm not sure, you know?" he laments.

"Maybe wait and see a bit longer. I mean, if he's straight, you might lose a client if you hit on him or ask him if he's gay."

"Sure, sure," he dismisses with a hand wave.

Once we've cleaned up the kitchen, we retreat to the living room. I flip on the TV, hoping to find some sort of Christmas special.

"So how was your trip?" Jake asks. "All work and no play?"

"Actually… I did get a chance to spend an afternoon at the beach."

Jake cocks his head, staring at me for a long moment. "And what else?"

"What do you mean 'what else'?" _Shit._

"I've known you since you were in diapers, Bells. I can tell when you're hiding something from me." He cocks an eyebrow as if daring me to try to lie my way out of it.

Jake and I really have been best friends since we were toddlers. Our dads are best friends and fishing buddies, so our moms spent a lot of time together while their men were off fishing. We've always told each other everything — I was the first person he came out to — so a part of me does want to tell him about Edward… while the rest of me is afraid he'll judge me.

"Wellll… my grading partner was a woman named Tanya. She works for a consulting firm in Chicago and would make even Rosalie look plain."

"Oh-kay?"

"Tanya brought her boyfriend, Edward, with her for the weekend, and he… let's just say pretty people tend to attract each other." Jake just stares at me, trying to figure out the point of this story, I imagine, then motions for me to go on. "I had a chance to talk to Edward before the group dinner on Sunday night, while Tanya was still up in their room getting ready. And after dinner—" I pause, taking a deep breath, "He propositioned me."

Jake's eyes practically bug out of his head. "What, he wanted to sneak off to your room with you so he could cheat on his girlfriend? I hope you told him where to go."

"Not… exactly. He invited me to _their_ room. You see, he and Tanya have an open relationship, and he saw her kissing some other guy, so he thought she'd end up in _his_ room."

"And you told him to go to hell, right?" I know I'm blushing as I try to make myself confess the truth. "Right?" he asks again when I remain silent.

"Jake," I whine, "You know about my nightmare. You know I'm embarrassed by my lack of experience."

"So you agreed to sleep with the guy?" he practically shouts.

I nod sheepishly. "He-he was really sweet," I defend. "And focused on bringing _me_ pleasure… unlike the guys I've been with before."

He shakes his head back and forth, not saying anything for a long moment. "So his girlfriend was off fucking another guy while he was in their bed with you?" he finally asks.

"Um, well, she, um, sort of showed up… when his face was between my legs."

"Oh shit!" he exclaims, laughing. "What did she do?"

"She watched," I shrug, giggling at the expression on Jake's face.

"So you guys did actually have sex… in front of her?"

"Yep," I answer. "She got off on it, seriously. She's, um… Edward said she's bisexual."

"Did she try anything with you?" he asks, looking a little excited. Even a gay man is excited by the thought of two women together.

"She… she invited me to help her give Edward a blowjob. You'd be impressed with her skills; Tanya can deep throat."

"Nice," he whistles, and I roll my eyes.

"She also, um, licked-his-cum-off-my-stomach," I rush out.

Jake just stares at me, mouth gaping, and I start to squirm a bit. "After he took the condom off, right?"

"Ummm…"

"Isabella Marie Swan, tell me you made this guy wear a condom!" he bellows.

I squirm a little more. "He-he said he was clean, and that he'd had a vasectomy."

"And what if he was lying?" Jake yells.

"I took the morning-after pill on Monday night, just to be sure," I explain. And with my period due tomorrow, I've definitely been feeling PMS all day.

"Bells, he still could've given you some kind of disease!"

"I-I don't think so. I mean, Tanya was there before we had sex."

"So?"

"So… it's girl code," I shrug. "If she knew he had some sort of sexually transmitted disease, I don't think she would've let him have unprotected sex with me."

"Bells, you need to get tested, seriously. If these two are in an open relationship, there's no telling what they could have."

I look back at my best friend, frowning. Both Tanya and Edward seemed like nice people, and based on their careers, they're both obviously intelligent. I doubt they engage in risky sex. No, Edward didn't wear a condom with me, but… he knew I didn't have much experience. I'm sure he usually does use condoms… wouldn't he?

"All right," I relent. "I'll make an appointment with my doctor to get tested."

"Good," he nods, then stretches his six-foot-five body out on the couch, his feet in my lap. "So, you had a threesome before I did… on what planet is _that_ fair?"

"Jake," I laugh, slapping at his leg. "It's not like Tanya and I did anything sexual together."

"Did you or did you not both have your tongues on his dick at the same time?"

"Well, yeah, but… on different parts of it! He's a pretty good size. I have no idea how Tanya could take that whole thing in her mouth." Jake laughs again. "Will you teach me?" I ask suddenly.

"Teach you to deep throat?" he sputters.

"Yeah." I look at him earnestly. Jake has always told me he gives awesome blowjobs.

"Just relax your throat. Go practice on a banana or something. Or a dildo," he adds with a wink.

"You are no help." I slap his leg again, making him laugh.

"It had to have been so weird for you, having her _watch_ ," he comments, sobering up.

"I-I don't know," I reply, feeling myself blushing. "It was… Edward told me to focus on him and not her, but… I kinda liked it," I admit quietly. "I can't really explain why. Just knowing that she was watching and enjoying what she was seeing…" I trail off, shrugging.

"Did he take care of you?" Jake asks. I roll my eyes. He sounds like my father or something — you know, if I talked to him about my sex life — which I wouldn't.

"He did," I reply softly. "He made sure I was OK with everything he was doing — really."

"So you're going to stop with the ridiculous notion that you're too inexperienced to hold on to a man?"

"I… don't think I'd qualify as inexperienced anymore."

"Thank the lord," he says dramatically, earning another slap.

* * *

 **A/N:** If you re-read the original one-shot, you might have noticed I changed one word in Chapter 1 — professional to actuarial. I needed to be vague about Bella and Tanya's profession for anonymity in the contest, but they are actuaries. When Bella refers to the Society and the SOA, she is referring to the Society of Actuaries, the professional organization that educates and serves actuaries. A POG is a Project Oversight Group, sort of peer reviewers for industry research projects.

So we've met Bella's best friend, I hope you all liked Jake! He's around throughout the rest of the story, looking at things from an outside perspective.

A few practicalities for Bella, getting the morning-after pill and Jake making her go get tested for STDs. She isn't quite regretting what she did, but her conscience is bothering her. I was pleased that only one reader called her a "skank" — many more were anti-Edward.

What do you think of Tanya connecting with Bella on LinkedIn? Good or bad idea?

* * *

 **NOTE:** After five days, missing FF reviews were fixed on Tuesday but began acting up again sometime on Thursday, so review responses may be delayed if they can't fix their shit quickly.


	6. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's excited about this story! Everyone liked Jake! That's a first, right?

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 6 – I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for_

I'm able to get an appointment with my doctor about a week and a half after my talk with Jake. She gently chides me when I explain that I had unprotected sex, then calls down to the lab so that I can get a blood test.

We also discuss whether or not it's time for me to get on some sort of birth control. I don't date regularly, but I date occasionally, and I am sexually active… occasionally. I'm certainly not interested in having a child right now. In the end, we agree that an IUD makes the most sense for me — though of course she still recommends using condoms.

As I expected, my blood test results come back negative for any sexually transmitted diseases, though my doctor would like me to get re-tested in six months.

The holidays pass and my life goes back to normal. _Too_ normal. As in I can't even get a date, let alone find a boyfriend in time for Valentine's Day. As always.

I don't think I'm a horrible prospect. I mean, I may not be as pretty as my sister, but I'm… above average, I think. I have a good job; I'm not looking for a guy with money to take care of me.

Jake's new client, Alec, did turn out to be gay. They've been hot and heavy for the last six weeks. Of course I'm happy for him, but with Valentine's Day on a Friday — prime date night — I can't even spend it commiserating with my best friend.

There's no way I'm going out to a restaurant tonight, but I decide to pick up something from the counter at the grocery store near my apartment.

I'm standing there while my food is being boxed up when I hear a male voice say, "And here I thought I was the only single person in all of King County."

I turn around, looking up at the tall man behind me. He has light brown hair, twinkling hazel eyes, and the best dimples I've seen outside of my brother-in-law, Emmett. I can't make out much of his body beneath his heavy jacket but he's definitely not overweight.

"Riley," he says, sticking out his hand when I just stand there dumbly.

"Oh, um, I'm Bella." I shake his hand, giving him a shy smile.

"Nice to meet you, Bella."

"Ma'am? Here's your food," the man behind the counter says. I take the bag from him with a thanks. "Do you know what you'd like, sir?"

"Give me a minute, please," Riley says, then turns to me. "So… since we're both single, maybe we could go out sometime?"

My eyes widen a bit. It seems like all of my friends have met someone in random ways like this — but I never have. At least, not before tonight. Riley is definitely cute. It wouldn't hurt anything to go out with him; a dinner date is harmless.

"I'd like that," I answer with a smile.

He takes his phone out of his pocket, holding it up, and I recite my cell number. As he punches it in, he dials my number and I quickly silence my phone when it rings.

"I'll call you maybe for next weekend?" he suggests. "When we can actually get a table at a nice restaurant."

"OK," I chuckle. "I look forward to hearing from you."

* * *

Riley turns out to be a construction foreman, the first blue collar guy I've dated. My brother-in-law also works in construction, and I've heard plenty about _his_ sexual prowess, so I figure it can't be a bad thing. On our first date, I learn Riley's a great kisser. On our second date, I learn that construction workers are good with their hands.

Things are going really well… until our fourth date, when we have sex for the first time. He doesn't do anything wrong, per se; it's just… underwhelming, in all aspects. Riley has a really nice body, but when he takes his boxers off, his cock is just… average. Not that there's anything wrong with that — I mean, the girl with B cups can't be too choosy about dick size — but when the last man I slept with had the perfect cock, I'm a little spoiled.

Riley also doesn't give me an orgasm. I know, I know, lots of women say they never reach orgasm from penetrative sex, but I did with Edward, so I know I _can_.

We date for another two months after our first time. I remember what Edward said about not being afraid to voice my desires, and so I do my best to get over my shyness and show Riley how I like to be touched, with both his fingers and his tongue. At least he does eventually give me orgasms — just not from sex. We experiment with different positions, but still nothing works. I can't point to any one thing that he should be doing differently with regards to sex — I'm not experienced enough for _that_.

It's late May when I decide to end things with Riley. He's truly a nice guy, a great catch, but I can't see this going anywhere when he leaves me so unsatisfied. Of course, I can't tell him the truth when I deliver the news; I don't want to hurt him. It may be that he's not a bad lover anyway. Maybe we just aren't compatible.

* * *

Shortly after my break-up with Riley, Angela and I go "off campus" for lunch so we can dissect my failed relationship. She's a great listener, giving me little bits of advice that I really appreciate.

"Oh, I keep forgetting to ask you," she exclaims suddenly. "What was your grading partner's last name? Tanya…?"

"Stratten," I answer, confused as to why she's asking.

Angela nods. "She was a presenter at one of the sessions I attended at the Life and Annuity Symposium a couple weeks ago. Damn, you weren't kidding, she looks more like a model than an actuary."

"No doubt," I snort, my heartbeat speeding up. Of course it makes sense that Tanya presented; consultants often do in order to get their names out there as industry experts.

"Regardless, she was a good speaker, seemed very knowledgeable."

Angela turns back to her lunch, while I'm reeling inside. In the past, she and I have attended the same SOA meetings, so we could hang out together, but this year my boss asked me to attend a different meeting instead. I wasn't that thrilled with visiting Atlanta for the Life and Annuity anyway, so I agreed.

But if I _had_ gone with Angela, I could've run into Tanya there. Maybe I could've run into Edward as well. The question is, would I have wanted to?

* * *

I should've waited another three months to cut Riley loose.

Here I am, in early August, attending Angela's wedding to her longtime boyfriend, Ben, and I haven't managed to find another date in the interim.

It freakin' sucks to attend a wedding alone. I should've invited Jake.

After dinner and a slice of the three-tiered wedding cake, all of the couples get up and start dancing, while I'm left alone at the table in the huge hotel ballroom. That is, until _he_ sits down next to me.

"Are you feeling as out of place here as I am?" the auburn-haired, ruggedly sexy man asks. "The groom is the only person I know; we went to college together."

"Oh, well, I work with the bride, and half our office seems to be here, so I do know several people. They're just all up dancing. With their _dates_ ," I add bitterly.

"Ah," he smiles knowingly. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Vodka and cranberry?" Still not my top choice, but I've already discovered that the open bar has limited options.

Mr. Sexy's name is Paul, and he's a real, honest-to-god _cowboy_ who runs his family's ranch in northwestern Colorado. He met Ben while studying Business in college to prepare to take over from his father.

His auburn hair reminds me of Edward's unusual hair color, in a way, though his eyes are blue. I immediately curse myself for even thinking about that. For God's sake, it's been nearly eight months since Florida — why is the man still ruling my thoughts?

Three drinks and several dances later, Paul is looking better and better. I've never met a real live cowboy before and I wonder if he could ride me as well as he rides horses.

"Are you staying at this hotel tonight?" I ask him before I lose my nerve.

"Yep," he answers with a wink. "Figured it'd be the safest bet with the open bar."

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

Paul stares back at me, a slow smile spreading on his lips. "Well, that sounds like a mighty fine offer, ma'am," he drawls, making me giggle.

He takes my hand, pulling me up out of my seat, and I'm reminded of the way Edward tugged me along to his hotel room. Maybe this is what I need, the excitement and slightly forbidden aspects of a one-night stand. Maybe this is why the sex was so much better with Edward than with Riley.

The elevator doors close on us and I can almost feel the sexual tension in the air. Paul's room is just one floor above the ballroom, or I'd totally try to start something now, in the elevator. We step out into the hallway on his floor and just a few doors down, he stops, pulling out his keycard.

I'm half expecting him to shove me against the door the way Edward had, but instead, he takes my hand again and leads me farther into the room.

"Strip for me," he orders, taking a seat on the edge of the king-sized bed.

 _Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!_

Smiling, I step out of my shoes then reach my hands around my back, easily unzipping my dress. I let it slip to the floor, emboldened by the hungry look on Paul's face. Reaching behind me again, I unhook my bra, then slowly slide the straps down my arms. I notice Paul palm himself through his pants and it bolsters my confidence to know I'm affecting him. I quickly slide my lacy panties down then step closer to the bed.

Paul sits up straighter as he looks up at me and I take advantage, shimmying myself down onto his lap. He brings his arms around my lower back to pull me closer, then cups my breasts in his large, rough hands.

"These are nice," he says in a gravelly voice. Leaning forward, he takes my left nipple into his mouth and I let out a moan, arching my back to push my breasts closer to him. I bring my hands up, combing my fingers through his thick hair as he lavishes my breasts with attention.

When he pulls away, I look down at him through hooded eyes. He motions with his head toward the pillows and I hurriedly scramble off his lap, lying back on the bed.

Now it's my turn to watch as Paul puts on a show for me, beginning with removing his tie. He unbuttons his striped dress shirt painstakingly slowly, and I lick my lips as his manly chest is revealed. He removes his pants and boxers together, and my eyes widen a bit at the size of his cock — it's larger than Edward's, or at least thicker. _Stop thinking about him, Bella._

Paul strokes his cock a few times then climbs onto the bed, spreading my legs. _Yes!_ He dives right in with his mouth and tongue while he inserts one finger inside me. I moan loudly, grasping the sheets as he eats me out.

All too soon he stops, moving to pick his pants up off the floor. He pulls his wallet out of his back pocket, quickly producing a foil packet.

"You are so fucking sexy," he says to me as he sheaths himself in the condom. Crawling up my body, he drops wet kisses along my stomach and chest until he reaches my mouth.

Paul places his cock at my entrance, and with little prelude, pushes inside.

"Ohhhh…" I moan. He is definitely bigger than any other man I've been with.

"Yeah, baby," he growls once he's fully inside. I wrap my legs around his waist, clinging to his shoulders as he begins to move. My initial discomfort quickly gives way to pleasure. "Fuck, you feel amazing!"

"So do you," I groan. And he really does. I meet his thrusts again and again, chasing my orgasm.

"Too good, baby… God…"

And then he freezes, his face contorted in pleasure. I try not to let my disappointment show on my face.

"Fuck," he exclaims, gripping the end of the condom as he pulls out of me, then gets up off the bed.

I reach my hand up, clutching my hair as I pull it off my face. I thought I had it this time! A sexy guy, a big cock — which he knows how to use. Unfortunately, he has no stamina. My sister complains that Emmett always comes too quickly when he's been drinking, and I wonder if that was the problem, or if he never lasts very long.

Paul comes out of the bathroom after disposing of the condom, turns out the light by the bed, then crawls into bed with me. "Stay," he whispers, pulling me toward him until my back is against his chest.

I close my eyes, but lie awake, unable to shut my mind down enough to sleep. I just had my second one-night stand, and I was enjoying it so much more than any time I was with Riley… except he couldn't hold on long enough for me to come. I think about getting up to take care of myself in the bathroom, but that would just be… weird.

I can hear Paul snoring behind me; now I'll _never_ get any sleep. When he rolls over, I stretch a bit until I can see the clock — it's nearly three in the morning.

Sighing, I crawl out of bed, fumbling around to pick up my clothes from the floor. I carry them out toward the front hall, where the overhead light is still on, then dress as quickly and quietly as I can. I step into the bathroom long enough to watch in the mirror as I brush my fingers through my hair, then find my purse and slip out into the hallway.

I keep my head down when the elevator doors open on the Lobby level, praying that no one I know is still here to see me sneaking out of the hotel in the middle of the night. Thankfully the parking lot is well-lit, and I have no trouble remembering where I parked my car.

The freeways are deserted as I make my way toward my apartment complex. When I get out of my car, I hear the sounds of a party still going on somewhere, despite the rules saying to shut things down by midnight.

Once I'm inside, I undress and take a quick shower — and maybe have a little fun with my trusty handheld showerhead — before going through with my nightly routine and crawling back into bed alone.

My mind _still_ won't shut down. No one saw me sneak out, but I hope Paul doesn't say something to Ben about me. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to sleep with one of the guests at a coworker's wedding. I can't let something like that get back to anyone I work with, anyone who might judge me for what I've done.

 _Fuck_ … now I'll never get to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, Bella isn't sitting around pining for Edward, though she can't seem to get him off her mind. She met two nice guys, but just couldn't replicate the way Edward made her feel.

Many of you have said you have no idea where this story could be going. Let's see what you think about the first step: Do you think Edward will reach out to Bella? Or will she try to contact him? Or will they meet up again at Central Grading or some other insurance industry meeting?

 **Updates will be Tuesdays and Fridays!** Some _Stripped_ readers had wanted to try guessing the chapter titles again. All except two or three are 80s songs, and I'll point those out when we get to them. The next title is one of the few hair metal songs that reached #1 on the charts.


	7. Here I Go Again

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's excited about this story! Reader **2muchtrouble** named the last chapter "GoldieBella and the three dicks" hehe.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 7 – Here I Go Again_

I stare at the email in my inbox — specifically the list of confirmed graders. Do I want to grade an actuarial exam question this year or not? I mean, not really, but I still feel like it's a good thing for my career for me to volunteer within our profession.

That isn't my only consideration though.

If I'm going to do it, I'll need Jake's help. Picking up my cell phone, I send him a text to ask if he's free tonight. I wait on pins and needles until I get back his reply that he'll come over with dinner.

Four hours later, we're sitting at my kitchen table munching on rabbit food… I mean, something from his favorite organic health food store.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Bells?"

"Um," I begin nervously, "I need to decide if I'm going to be a grader again this year. The exam is in two weeks, so they need to lock it down soon."

He stares at me blankly. "What do I have to do with it? It's your decision."

"I saw Tanya Stratten's name on the list of confirmed graders."

"Tanya Str—oh. So you mean, her boyfriend might be at the grading party."

"Right," I nod. "Edward might be there — if they're still together and he decides to come along for a vacation again. Do… do you think he'll remember me?" I ask in a small voice.

"Well, of course he will! You're pretty unforgettable."

I roll my eyes. Of course he has to say that, since he's my best friend. "He's in an open relationship. What if he has sex with dozens or even hundreds of women each year? Who am I out of all those women?"

Jake makes a frustrated noise. "Do you think most single men have sex with dozens of people a year?"

"No, of course not."

"So why should Edward? In fact, he probably has fewer partners than a lot of single men, since he has a regular partner in Tanya."

My brow furrows; I hadn't thought about it that way before, but it makes sense. I'd been imagining him taking advantage of their open status with multiple different women per week.

"OK, well, assuming he _does_ remember me… what if he propositions me again?" I ask.

"If you don't want to have sex with him again, you tell him no — this isn't difficult, Bella." Jake seems exasperated, but he doesn't understand, not really. He's never met Edward, never seen him… he doesn't know how seductive Edward can be.

"I'm not sure what I want," I admit quietly. "I mean, right now I think _no_ , I don't want to sleep with him again. But if I see him, and he asks me to… I'm afraid I'll fall right under his spell again." By the time Central Grading rolls around, it'll have been four months since my one-night stand. And I still remember the things Edward can do with his tongue and cock.

"Look, I know I gave you shit for it, but as long as you make him use a condom this time, then I don't know that there's any harm in giving in to him again — if that's what you want. People have casual sex all the time."

"But what if it _isn't_ what I want, but my body betrays me?" I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "That's where you come in, Jake."

"Me? Why?"

"I need you to come with me to Central Grading… and keep me from doing something stupid."

Jake laughs loudly, then quickly quiets once he realizes I'm serious. "Where is it?" he asks. "I'm not flying all the way to Florida to keep you from having sex."

"It's not in Florida," I assure him. "We'd fly into LAX. The hotel is near Venice Beach."

Jake's ears perk up at that. I'm sure he'd love to go to Venice and check out the bodybuilders and other men at the beach. He and Alec only lasted six months, so he's a single man again.

"When is it?" he asks, pulling out his phone.

"The second weekend in December. Please, Jake?"

"Hmmm… that should be far enough out that I can move any appointments. OK, sign me up!"

* * *

Jake and I check into our hotel in Marina del Rey mid-afternoon, about a half hour before I need to meet the rest of our group in one of the conference rooms. After making sure we've got a room with two beds — Jake is the most restless sleeper I've ever met — I accept the keycards and we find our fifth floor room.

"Nice," Jake whistles, stepping out onto the balcony. We've got a view to the north, and I can spot the famous Ferris wheel on Santa Monica Pier, just a few miles away. "So what's the plan?"

"Well, I need to meet the others soon for the kickoff. Last year, the four of us grading the same question had dinner together in the hotel restaurant after a few hours of work."

"So if you're doing that again, I can walk down to Venice Beach and see you later tonight?" he asks eagerly.

"Yeah," I nod, rolling my eyes. Jake and his bodybuilders. "Stay close until I let you know?"

"Deal. I'll just go down to the pool until I hear from you."

I'm a little nervous as I head to the hotel conference room to meet the rest of the graders and the head of the exam committee. I know Tanya will be there — though we're not grading the same question this year — but will she even notice me in a room full of 75 people? Maybe I can avoid her.

As I take my seat in the back on the left side of the room, I look around, easily spotting Tanya's golden blonde hair toward the front, on the right. Unless she turns around, I won't be in her line of sight. After the introductions, we break into small groups and I meet the three other graders from my question, including my partner, a middle-aged man named Bob.

While we're chatting, my phone beeps with a text message. Apologizing, I pull it out of my purse, intending to ignore the message and set my phone to vibrate, when I read what it says:

 **I think I see your guy at the pool.**

I'm still staring at the words when Jake texts me again, sending me a photo of a man sitting on one of the pool chairs, wearing nothing but a tiny red bathing suit. My breath hitches as I look at the photo — it's Edward, all right.

 **His hair looks like that weird bronze color you told me about.**

 _That's him_ , I text back quickly, then slide my phone back into the side of my purse. It's him — looking even better than I remembered. And I'm even more thankful that I've brought Jake along with me as a buffer.

The four of us finish up our discussion quickly after our stacks of papers have been delivered. My phone dings a few more times, since I forgot to switch it to vibrate, but I ignore it. Bob and I exchange cell numbers, but no one suggests anything about dinner. Still hoping to avoid running into Tanya, I decide to retreat back to my room before texting Jake.

I pull my phone out once I'm safely in our hotel room, unable to keep from smiling as I read the string of texts from Jake.

 **Damn Bells! Holy shit the guy is hot!**

 **I'd do him in a heartbeat.**

 **You said his gf is bi right? Maybe he is too and would be up for a threesome!**

 _Jake! I'm not having a threesome with you. And I have no idea if Edward is bi. He didn't mention anything about that._

 **Who said anything about you being part of the threesome? ;)**

I chuckle, but before I can type out a response, he sends another message.

 **He just got up to go for a swim. Very nice package, wouldn't mind getting my mouth around that.**

 _Jake! Stop checking out Edward's package before he notices you and thinks you're some kind of creeper. I'm free for dinner btw._

 **Ok I'll come back around six. I might need a cold shower first though.**

Shaking my head, I put my phone away, then take a seat at the desk and get to work grading. Somehow I got put on a question this year that deals with health insurance, HMOs and PPOs, which isn't my thing at all, given that I work in life insurance. All I can do is follow the grading key.

I sit back and stretch when Jake comes barreling into the room after a few hours. Definitely time for a break.

"I imagine I've had more fun than you this afternoon," he says with a grin.

"I'm sure you have. Did you ever leave the pool?"

"Yeah, I walked around the marina a bit. So our three closest dinner choices are Killer Shrimp, a New York pizza place, and the Cheesecake Factory — which do you prefer?"

Mmmm… I love Cheesecake Factory, and Jake knows it. "You know which would be my top pick, but it could take two hours to be seated at six o'clock on a Saturday night. I don't have that kind of time."

"Good point. Shrimp it is." Of course he'd never pick pizza.

* * *

While Jake visits Venice Beach the next morning after breakfast, I finish up my grading. Bob and I meet around noon in the reserved conference room to reconcile our scores.

Once we've finished, I text Jake, who tells me to walk down Washington Blvd. toward the ocean and he'll meet me there by the pier.

It's nearly three miles from Venice Beach to Santa Monica Pier, but we've got plenty of time, so we take a leisurely stroll, stopping frequently at the various shops to browse. And I'm starving, so I stop at one of the kiosks for a quick bite.

After a great afternoon, we make it back to the hotel in time to shower and change for the group dinner. I'd never admit it to anyone, but I bought a new blouse for the occasion, to go with a cute skirt. If Edward sees me, I want to look good. Now I _really_ start to get nervous though, knowing for certain that he's here.

"Bells, you can always skip the dinner and we can go to the Cheesecake Factory."

Oh, it's tempting. "No," I answer quietly. "I need to mingle and network."

Just like last year, a small bar has been set up in the conference room. I need to keep my wits about me tonight, so I order just a Diet Coke, while Jake gets a light beer. I spot one of the other graders from my question and talk to her for a few minutes. Jake, clearly bored with our conversation, wanders off to try some of the hors d'oeuvres.

Once I'm left alone, I go looking for Jake, but the room is pretty crowded with various waiters setting up the buffet in the center of the room. I give up, stopping to take a drink from my glass, when a hand falls on my left arm.

"Have you been avoiding me, Bella?" a sexy voice whispers in my ear.

Swallowing thickly, I turn around, looking up at Edward. "No, I—I wasn't even sure you'd remember me," I admit. Goddamn, he looks good up close; my memories did not do him justice. He's dressed similarly to last year, in jeans and a gray sport coat, though he's wearing a black polo shirt instead of a t-shirt.

His eyes narrow as he looks down at me. "You think I could forget what we shared? Or the promise I made you?"

"What promise?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"For a repeat," he answers in a 'duh' voice.

"You're awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"You enjoyed yourself last year, didn't you?" he counters, and I feel my face flush.

"That doe—"

"Hey, Bella," Jake calls, walking over toward me. He smiles down at me, throwing an arm around my waist. "I was wondering where you'd run off to." Stopping, he looks up as if just noticing Edward standing a bit too close to me. "Oh, who's your friend?"

I decide to play along. "Jake, this is Edward. His girlfriend was my grading partner last year. Edward, this is Jacob Black."

"Nice to meet you, man," Jake says, holding his hand out to shake. Edward stares at it for a moment before grasping Jake's hand; I'm sure Jake is playing the alpha dog with a strong grip.

"The buffet is open," Jake says to me. "I'm starving. Please excuse us, Edward."

His arm still around me, Jake leads me away from Edward and toward the buffet line. "Thanks, Jake," I whisper. Edward was definitely getting to me.

"That's what I'm here for," he answers cheerfully.

Once we've got our food, we go to look for a table, sitting down at one that only has two open chairs left. Good thinking on Jake's part, since Edward and Tanya will be unable to join us.

"Are you OK?" he whispers, and I nod. This isn't the time or place to talk about it.

After we've finished eating, we remain at the table talking with the others. When my glass is empty, I excuse myself and walk over to the bar, this time ordering a vodka and cranberry. As I turn around, I nearly run straight into Edward.

"Excuse me." I try to step around him, but he reaches out his hand, wrapping it around my wrist.

"Does he treat you well?" Edward asks.

"Jake? He's my best friend." My eyes narrow. He sounds like a parent — or a jealous ex. "Is that… jealousy I hear in your voice?" I whisper. And then I kick myself for wanting it to be.

"It's not jealousy. I just want to be sure that you're with someone who deserves you."

"Are you sniffing around her again?" Jake asks, walking up to us.

"It's OK, Jake," I tell him quietly.

"I just wanted to be sure you're good to Bella," Edward answers. "She's special." While not as tall as Jake, he stands up to his full height, showing that he won't be intimidated.

"She is, but it's really none of your concern," Jake retorts.

Edward glares at him and I know it's time for me to jump in and tell the truth. "Edward, Jake is my best friend — my best _gay_ friend."

He turns quickly to stare at me. "This isn't your boyfriend?" I shake my head silently.

"So I hear you're into threesomes," Jake says with a grin. "Does that include with other men?"

Edward's eyes widen. "I _have_ , though only with men who prefer my female partner to me," he adds with a smirk.

"Worth a shot," Jake winks, and I roll my eyes, slapping his arm.

"Bella, could I speak with you… alone?" Edward asks.

* * *

 **A/N:** Many of you wanted Edward to reach out to Bella, and he did… once they were in the same place once again. What should she do now?

Ah Jake, at least now he kind of understands why Bella fell under Edward's spell so easily.

Also this answered the question some readers had about whether or not Edward is also bi.

 **Next chapter's title:** A 1984 #1 hit by a legendary female artist. No one guessed this one. Poison's _Every Rose Has Its Thorn_ was the most popular guess.


	8. What's Love Got to Do with It?

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's excited about this story! A Guest had a question on timing: It's now one year from the beginning of the story (Chapters 1-5).

I'd say the majority think Bella should stay strong, but there are definitely readers out there who say she should just go for it if Edward wants a repeat. Lots of comments that she sure told the truth about Jake quickly. The two guys were glaring at each other and she was afraid of a fight.

Congrats to **DamnPrecious0329** , **twifan7731** , **orion03981** , **Bevey99** , **fonsy** , **EdwardsFirstKiss** , **Savage Rob** , **starsmina** , **Lotus11** , **TrulyOutrageous** and **Ninkita** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing today's chapter title from Tina Turner. Hope I didn't miss any of you.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 8 – What's Love Got to Do with It?_

"Bells?" Jake turns to me, raising an eyebrow. I know that if I say no, Jake will make sure Edward doesn't get near me. I think I want to talk to him though. Just _talk_.

"It's fine," I tell Jake, giving him a small smile.

"I won't be far if you need me." After pointing two fingers toward his eyes then at Edward in the universal "I'm watching you" gesture, Jake walks away from us.

I take a sip of my drink as I wait for Edward to speak. Taking my arm lightly, he leads me toward an open table in the corner, motioning for me to take a seat.

"So you brought Jake along as a bodyguard of sorts?" he begins. I shrug, taking another sip. "You know I'd never do anything to you that you don't want."

"I know," I whisper. "I just wasn't sure if my mind and body would be in sync."

He grins, reaching out to rub his thumb over the back of my hand. "Do you know what I want?" I remain silent, assuming that's a rhetorical question. "I want to get you alone and worship you."

My eyes widen slightly and I start to feel a stirring inside me. How does he get to me like that?

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asks quietly. "You'd like me to take you upstairs and spend the rest of the night showing you how a woman should be treated."

"I can't," I whisper… though his offer is very tempting.

"Can't… or won't?"

"Jake and I are sharing a room, and… I don't really want Tanya to walk in again," I confess. Yes, I liked it when she watched, but I don't want to like it. I don't want to need something like that in order to get off — I want to prove that I _don't_ need it.

Instead of replying, Edward pulls his phone out of his pocket, his thumb flying over the screen for a few moments before he turns it so that I can see his text message.

 **See you in the morning. Room 312.**

"Tanya's found another lover for the night," he explains. "She won't come back."

"You said that last time."

He smirks. "Last time I only saw her kissing some guy, but she hadn't gone back to his room. She told me later that he was a horrible kisser, so she passed on sleeping with him."

"Why did she tell you his room number? Does she want you to join them?"

He shakes his head. "No, it's just safer to make sure anyone she goes off with alone knows that someone else knows where she is."

"Oh."

"So what do you think, Bella?" he asks, his fingers brushing my hand again. "Come back to my room with me so we can talk privately. Nothing will happen unless you want it to.

"Or is Jake not going to let you out of his sight?" he adds when I don't reply.

"Jake just doesn't want me to do anything I might regret later."

"Did you have regrets after last year?" he asks, sounding alarmed.

"I… no, I didn't regret it," I admit. "Though my conscience kept trying to tell me that I'd done something wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong — nothing at all," he insists.

"I know," I whisper, though inside I'm not so sure.

Standing, Edward holds his hand out to me. I try to tell myself that going back to his room doesn't mean I need to have sex with him. I can leave at any time; I know he won't try to stop me.

Swallowing thickly, I place my hand in his, letting him lead me out into the hallway. As we wait for the elevator, I pull out my phone to send a quick text to Jake so he doesn't worry.

Just after I step out onto Edward's floor, my phone beeps.

 **Is break a leg the correct sentiment?**

Laughing, I shake my head as I put my phone away. Edward looks at me curiously, but doesn't comment. He opens the door to his room, then motions for me to follow him as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

Setting my purse on the bedside table, I toe off my sexy-but-uncomfortable shoes and sit beside Edward, leaving a good foot of space between us. He takes my hands in his, bringing them to his mouth to kiss the back of each.

"If possible, I think you're even more beautiful than last year," he says, his thumbs stroking the backs of my hands. "You're more… confident, I think."

I look up at him in shock. I don't really think of myself as confident, at least not with men. But if I think about it, maybe I _am_ more confident. I was able to tell Riley what I needed sexually — at least to some degree — and I was the one who invited Paul upstairs. Still, when faced with this very sexually confident man, I feel rather pathetic.

"I've had sex in the past year," I blurt out.

"Good," Edward grins.

"Good?"

"Mmmm… I'm glad I won't have to hold back and go slow with you."

"You're just assuming I'm going to agree to sleep with you."

He smiles widely. "Tell me about them," he orders.

"The-the men?" He nods. "I, um, dated Riley for about three months earlier in the year. He was a nice guy, but…"

"But what?" he asks, reaching his hand up to stroke my cheek.

"He always left me unsatisfied," I admit quietly. "And then… a few months later, I met a guy at a wedding, and… we were both there alone, and…" I trail off, shrugging. I don't need to spell it out for him.

"And could he satisfy you?" Edward asks.

I shake my head. "The sex was good, but then… it was over."

"So no one has fucked you properly in the past year?" he asks, sounding a bit angry.

"No," I whisper.

He strokes my cheek again, then leans forward as if to kiss me. I hurriedly move back out of his reach. "Tell me why you have an open relationship."

"I explained it last year, didn't I? I need the variety."

"Yes, but… why even go through the pretense of having a girlfriend then?" I ask curiously.

Edward sighs, running his hand through his hair. "Tanya and I have a mutually beneficial relationship." I sit quietly, waiting for him to elaborate. "She's very interested in her career, and having a successful man who can attend business dinners with her is important to her. As for me, it keeps my well-meaning colleagues and friends off my back about why I don't date," he explains with an eye roll.

"So you don't love her?" I ask nosily.

"No," he sighs, "I don't. Tanya is a wonderful person. I care about her and she cares about me, but neither of us is under any illusion that this is some sort of love match.

"We give each other what we need sexually. It's so much easier to be with someone who _understands_ , than to risk getting involved with someone who gets too clingy, too fast. I don't want to end up with someone who's picking out our wedding china after one night."

"Who understands what?" I whisper, and he strokes my face again.

"Who understands that sex is a recreational activity. It's a release, it's a way to relax. It _feels_ good. A lot of people make it out to be such an intimate act, but I don't think of it that way at all, and neither does Tanya."

I frown as he continues to stroke my cheek. "I-I'm trying to see it your way, but… I was raised to believe that sex goes hand in hand with relationships."

"It does," he allows, "For some people. But it's never been a big deal to me. I don't need to be in a relationship in order to have sex… obviously. And apparently neither do you," he adds, raising an eyebrow.

"I—"

"And that's perfectly OK, Bella. No one else has the right to judge your choices. Whatever two — or three — consenting adults choose to do is their business."

This time when he leans in slowly, I let him kiss me. It's soft and almost sweet before he pulls back slightly, staring into my eyes. "I want you so bad, baby," he groans. "It's all I've been thinking about since we got here yesterday."

Cupping my cheek with his hand, he kisses me again, using just a bit more pressure and lingering a bit longer. "Do you remember how good we were together?" I nod helplessly, almost as if he's hypnotized me. "Let me make you feel like that again."

His hand slides around to the back of my neck and he pulls me closer, kissing me again and again. His kisses could probably be considered chaste, but they're a less-than-gentle reminder of last year, and how his lips felt on myriad other places on my body.

"May I take your clothes off?" he asks.

 _Oh God._ I know he will absolutely make good on his word if I give in. For the last year, I've been missing the things I felt with him. Right or wrong, I want to feel them again. Maybe I can get him out of my head once and for all.

And so I nod, goosebumps forming as Edward begins pushing my blouse up. I raise my arms, letting him pull it over my head.

He quickly removes his own jacket and polo shirt, then encourages me to lie back on the bed. Crawling over my body, he kisses me again, his tongue begging for entry. As I open for him, he slips one hand beneath me to unhook my bra. His hands come up to cup my bare breasts, kneading them and brushing his thumbs over my nipples, which harden instantly.

It takes both hands for Edward to undo the hook at the top of my skirt, then he slowly tugs the zipper down before grasping the bottom of my skirt and pulling it down and off. He cups his hand between my legs, pressing just where I'm needy for him, and I cry out. Smiling, he quickly dispenses of my panties then returns to my lips.

As we kiss, he brings one hand down, dipping inside me to collect my wetness before circling my clit again and again. "Oh God," I moan as he takes first my right nipple into his mouth and then the left.

I cry out in shock as Edward suddenly sits back on his heels, pulling me onto his lap. He dips his head to capture my breasts in his mouth again and I shamelessly hold his head against my chest. He's still wearing his jeans as he moves me back and forth over his lap. I must be making quite a mess on the denim, but he doesn't seem to care.

Laying me down again, he bends my knees, pushing my legs up until my thighs touch my torso. And then he dives in, his tongue lapping at my clit until I'm right on the edge.

"Don't stop… don't stop," I chant over and over. I grab hold of his hair with my right hand and he captures my left hand in his, entwining our fingers and squeezing as he begins sucking at my clit. "Oh… oh God… oh God… Edward!" I scream as I feel my orgasm start deep inside me, spreading out through all of my limbs.

I expect him to stop once I've come, but he keeps it up until I'm a panting mess. I flop back onto the bed, trying to catch my breath, as he quickly opens the button fly on his jeans and tugs them down. My eyes widen when I realize he's not wearing underwear.

Crawling up my body again, he places his cock at my entrance. I'm barely coherent, but there's something Jake said I was supposed to do…

"C-condom," I mumble.

"Why?" he asks, staring down at me. "I'm clean, I promise you. I get tested regularly, and I _do_ use condoms with other women."

"Why not with me?"

"I want to feel you," he says tenderly, brushing his knuckles over my cheek. "And I trust you… unlike most of the other women I have sex with. But I'll get one if you really want me to."

"I… Jake will kill me…" I whisper.

Grinning, he gets up to grab his wallet out of his jacket pocket, hurriedly tearing into the foil packet. I watch through hooded eyes as he sheaths himself in the condom, stroking it a couple of times before climbing back on top of me.

Staring into my eyes, he takes hold of his cock again, pressing it against me. He pauses, leaning in to kiss me softly, then pushes inside in one strong thrust. Barely giving me any time to adjust, he pulls almost all the way out before slamming back in again.

"Oh…" I moan loudly.

Edward takes my left hand in his as he fucks me, his face just inches from mine. He doesn't think sex is intimate, but this certainly _feels_ intimate as we breathe the same air. I wrap my legs tightly around his waist as I try to meet his thrusts. His cock feels just as good as I remembered, and I'm confident that _he_ will not leave me unsatisfied.

He sits up suddenly, wrapping his hands around my waist as he speeds up his thrusts. I can't contain my moans of pleasure as he begins to really fuck me.

"You like that, baby?" he pants.

"Wh-what gave it away? Oh God…" I yelp as a particular hard thrust hits exactly the right spot.

"Did I find your g-spot?" I can hear the smile in his voice. Cocky bastard.

"Mmmm…"

Leaning forward again, he grasps my face in his hands, kissing me hard until I fall over the edge once more.

"Oh fuck… so tight when you come," he moans. Seconds later, he freezes inside me, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. I bring my hand up, lazily scratching his scalp, and he lifts his head to smile at me.

I hiss a little as he pulls out, then claims my lips once again in a tender kiss. Finishing with two soft pecks, he moves away, smiling as he reaches up to touch the tip of my nose.

"I'll be right back," he smiles.

As Edward heads to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, I crawl under the covers, stretching out my sore muscles. God _damn_ , the things he can do to my body. Why can't I find that with a nice, available man… who lives in Seattle?

I'm startled from my musings when Edward slides into the bed beside me, pulling me until my back is against his chest. "Mmmm…" He kisses the side of my neck. "Any regrets? Seeing as how you brought your friend along to keep this from happening."

"No regrets," I tell him honestly, then close my eyes in exhaustion.

* * *

 **A/N:** So we learned a bit more about Edward's open relationship with Tanya. They're still "together" a year later, but they're not in love. What are you thinking now?

And yes, Bella gave in and had sex with Edward again. You didn't really think she'd be able to resist him, did you? But where do they go from here?

 **Next chapter's title:** A 1983 #1 hit by a legendary  male artist. A couple of the guesses for the last chapter have a similar title.


	9. All Night Long

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's enjoying this story!

While some readers chastised Bella, it feels like maybe more were cheering her on than the number who'd hoped after the last chapter that she'd give in.

Congrats to **KDMCAM** , **Bugsmamawolf** , **Ninkita** , **Lotus Wright** , **morena. davidson. 3** , **2loveybunnies** , **Lotus11** , **2old4fanfic** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **libbyg1980** , **Tay240** , **orion03981** , **Bevey99** , **starsmina** , **2muchtrouble** , **anitabonita2413** , **BellaAshes** , **Cina's** , **katbarpar** and **namemeamy** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing today's chapter title from Lionel Richie.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 9 – All Night Long_

When I wake up, I'm surrounded by a warm male body. It's dark in the room, so I know it's the middle of the night. As I lie awake for a couple of minutes, I realize I really need to pee.

Doing my best not to disturb Edward, I slide out from under his heavy arm, then glance at the clock on the bedside table: 2:57am.

There is a nightlight of sorts on in the bathroom, so I'm able to make my way in the dark. I wash my hands afterward then open the door, noticing right away the soft light now coming from the bedroom.

When I round the corner, Edward is sitting on the edge of the bed, the light on the wall above the bed shining. His hands are scrubbing over his face, and he looks up at the sound of my footsteps. When he crooks his finger, I come closer, until he's able to pull me onto his lap.

"You left," he rasps, his arms forming a band tight around my lower back.

"I-I just needed to use the bathroom."

His stubbly face scratches the side of my neck as he drops sloppy, wet kisses along it. He then lifts me up slightly so that he can take my left nipple into his mouth. One hand slides along my hip until it's brushing between my legs.

"I need to have you again… can I have you?" he begs.

"Yes," I moan as his fingers slip inside me. I wrap my arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape while his lips, tongue and fingers drive me wild.

I can feel him hot and hard beneath me and begin sliding myself back and forth over his cock.

"Impatient, huh?" he says into my skin, before looking up at me and smiling. "Stand up."

Confused, I do as he says, watching as Edward gets up and walks over to the balcony door. He slides it open then turns back toward me. My God, he is a vision standing there in the moonlight, his cock hard and standing at attention.

"If anyone else is awake, now they'll be able to hear your screams when I make you come over and over again."

 _Oh God…_

Edward stalks across the room until he's in front of me, then immediately reaches his hand down between my legs. "Mmm… you're so wet, Bella. I think you like that idea, don't you? I know you liked it when Tanya watched us having sex. You've got a bit of an exhibitionist streak."

"I-I don't," I protest.

He leads me by the hand until we're standing out on the balcony. The temperature at this hour is quite chilly and my nipples instantly pebble, but Edward's skin is warm against my back as he wraps his arms around me.

"Do you think anyone is down there in any of the boats?" he asks. His room appears to be on the opposite side of the hotel from mine, facing the marina. "Maybe we should have sex out here on the balcony, where someone could see us. Would you like that, Bella?" he whispers in my ear before sucking gently on the lobe.

"It-it must be against the law."

"No one would be able to tell which room we're in."

"People in the rooms near us would," I counter, my heart racing.

"They wouldn't be able to see us though, only hear your screams." It's true, I realize as I look around. Cement walls separate the individual balconies. Only someone down on the ground or in the water would actually be able to _see_ us.

Edward's hand drifts down between my legs again, and his fingers begin circling my clit. "You're so fucking wet. You can't try to tell me the idea doesn't turn you on."

"It does," I finally admit. Oh God, who _am_ I? "Wh-what about you?"

"I don't _mind_ if anyone sees us or overhears us, but I don't get off on it. It's perfectly fine if you do, you know. Exhibitionism is a common fetish."

My legs start to buckle and I grasp hold of Edward's arm. His fingers just never stop.

"Yes or no?" he asks.

"Wh-where would we do it?" I can't believe I'm actually considering this.

I can feel Edward moving behind me, as if he's looking around the small balcony for the perfect spot. "Stay here, just for a minute," he orders, and then suddenly he's gone.

I turn around, biting my lip as he quickly returns, holding a large towel from the bathroom. He spreads the towel over the open slats of one of the two lawn chairs, then sits down and motions me over.

I sink onto Edward's lap, my back to his chest. His lips attach themselves to the side of my neck and his fingers resume their teasing circles. I lean my head back against his shoulder, spreading my legs just enough to give him easy access.

"Lift up," he whispers, and I feel him place his cock at my entrance. I slowly sink down onto him, letting out a breath as he fills me. "Good girl," he coos. "Fuck, you're amazing."

His ability to move is a bit compromised, but he begins thrusting up slowly. I try to meet his thrusts, but my feet aren't touching the ground, so I don't have a lot of leverage. His left hand moves up to cup and knead my breast, and all the while, the fingers of his right hand never stop moving over me. I'm surrounded by him and loving every second of it.

"Let me hear you, Bella. Does this feel good?"

"Y-yes," I cry out. "Oh God…Your cock feels so good," I babble.

"Just my cock?" I can definitely hear the smile in his voice this time.

"Mmm…" I'm not coherent enough to reply.

"Scream my name when you come," he orders, pistoning his hips faster and faster.

"Oh… oh God… Edward!" I scream, the now-familiar waves of pleasure rushing through me.

He holds me tightly to his chest, breathing heavily, then starts pushing me up off his lap. "I'm not through with you yet," he growls, propelling me forward.

I reach out to grip the top rung of the balcony railing, and Edward lifts my leg up onto the bottom rung, opening me up to him.

"Oh fuck!" I scream in shock when he slides inside me from behind without warning. He's relentless this time, fucking me hard thanks to the added leverage from standing up.

"That's my girl," he praises. "Tell me… how much you're loving this."

"Ohhh…" I moan incoherently. He's stolen all ability for me to think about anything beyond the feel of his cock and his hands gripping my hips tightly. I'll probably have bruises in the morning.

"Can you imagine… someone down there in the marina… getting a free show… watching me fuck you?"

I stare down at the marina, at the few lights shining off the dark water, and I wonder if he's right. If there's someone out there watching me right now, getting turned on by what they're seeing. It should disgust me, but it doesn't.

"Ed-ward," I mumble.

"Come on, baby," he begs, "I can't hold on much longer. Touch yourself."

As embarrassing as the thought is, I release my death grip on the railing with one hand, bringing it down between my legs. "Oh fuck," I moan. I'm so close and I know it won't take much to tip me over the edge.

"That's so hot," Edward groans. "You're so sexy, baby."

"I-I'm gonna… oh God!" I scream.

"Fuck!"

He freezes inside me, not moving for several moments before he slowly pulls out and stands both of us up straight. His arms hug me tightly from behind for several moments.

"You must be freezing," he says quietly. I'm startled when he slides his arms underneath me, lifting me up and carrying me back into the room.

"Put me down!" I yell, laughing, but he ignores me and continues on to the bathroom, depositing me on the edge of the sink. He wets a washcloth under the faucet then gently cleans up his mess. I completely forgot about a condom that time.

"You're fine, I swear to you," he says, looking into my eyes. "I tested clean three weeks ago."

When he's finished, I hop down from the marble countertop. Ow, ow, ow… I feel like I'm walking funny as I slowly make my way to the bed, while Edward closes and locks the balcony door. He turns out the bedside light then flops onto his back, pulling my head onto his warm chest as he strokes his hand through my hair. "You OK?" he asks quietly.

I lean my chin on his chest, trying to see him in the dim light. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I was a little rough with you."

"Not too rough," I argue. "Though I may still be walking funny in the morning."

He laughs heartily, squeezing me close, then kisses the top of my head. "Goodnight, Bella," he mumbles.

* * *

The loud beep of a nearby phone wakes me for the second time. I stretch my neck, rolling over to see Edward staring at his phone in his hand.

"Good morning. Tanya will be back soon," he announces. "You can stay, but it's up to you."

I sit up in a panic. I really don't want to face Tanya after the night I just spent getting properly fucked by her boyfriend. "Um, I think I'll leave before she gets here."

Hurrying out of bed, I pick up my clothes from the floor in a rush. Edward stays in bed watching me run around like an insane woman. At least I can find my panties this time.

"Is my hair a mess?" I ask him as I slip my blouse over my head, remembering last year.

He crooks his finger and I step closer to the bed, letting him comb through my hair with his fingers.

"Perfect," he pronounces with a smile. "I really wish you'd stay. I'd love to shower with you."

"With me and Tanya?"

He shrugs, smiling sheepishly. "Every guy's fantasy, right? I understand you still feel weird about her, even though you shouldn't." He stops, taking a deep breath, then runs his hand through his hair. "Look, Tanya has been saying she may not grade next year, so… I'm not sure when or if I'll see you again. Look me up if you ever come to Chicago, all right?"

"All-all right," I answer quietly. Inside, my mind is reeling. Even though I wasn't sure I wanted any of this to happen this year, the thought that it may be the last time is a bit of a punch to the gut.

Edward tugs on my wrist until I take a step closer, then cradles my face in his hands. He places a soft, lingering kiss on my lips before pulling away, staring into my eyes.

"Don't settle for a man who can't give you a night like we just had, OK? Promise me."

"I promise," I whisper, then take a step back. I pick up my purse, then hurry out of the room when I feel tears pricking at my eyes. Why am I upset about this? Edward is a good fuck, nothing more. It's not like I had any designs on a real romantic relationship with him.

I start walking toward the elevators, but the thought of running into Tanya coming off the elevator sends me into the nearest stairwell. My room is only one floor up.

I open the door to my own hotel room, expecting a smart-ass greeting from Jacob, only it never comes.

"Jake?" I call, but he doesn't answer. Pulling out my phone, I unlock it and see a text message from him, sent about a half hour ago. **Going for a run** , it says.

Of course he is. I shake my head at my health-nut best friend, then grab some fresh clothes out of my suitcase and head into the bathroom. I stand under the warm water for the longest time, letting the heat massage my tired muscles. I imagine if I had more regular sex, Edward wouldn't affect me like that.

And then it hits me. He may never have the chance to affect me like that again. This may have been our goodbye, for good.

As I dry myself off after my shower, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I've totally got beard burn all over my neck, thanks to Edward's five o'clock shadow. Good luck hiding _that_ from Jake.

I'm blow drying my hair when my sweaty best friend finally comes back. "Hey," I call, shutting off the dryer. "Have a nice run?"

"Think you're gonna distract me by asking about my run, huh?" he grins. "How was your night, Isabella?"

I'm sure I blush the shade of a tomato. "It was… really good," I admit. "That man really knows what he's doing when it comes to sex."

"So he's kind of a pussy whisperer, huh?"

"Jake!" I slap his arm as he backs away, laughing.

"Ugh, I need a shower," he says, lifting his arm to sniff his pit. _Gross._

While Jake is in the shower, I pack my suitcase. Our flight isn't until two o'clock, so we've got some time to do a bit more sightseeing before we need to leave. Once he's dressed, he tosses his clothes into his bag and we decide to go ahead and check out, then leave our bags with the bellhop downstairs.

"So was Tanya there?" Jake asks as we walk down Washington Blvd. toward the beach.

"No, she was in someone else's room last night. I've been assuming it was a man, but… I don't know. Her text to Edward wasn't really specific."

"What do they get out of having a relationship?" he asks curiously.

I grin. "I asked Edward the same thing last night. He said it's good for Tanya's career and it's nice to have a regular partner who isn't picking out china for their wedding registry."

"So they're not in love?"

"He says no." And I have to believe him. I can't imagine being in love with my partner and still wanting to sleep around.

"How long have they been together?"

"I-I don't know. I didn't think to ask him." I pause for a moment, taking a deep breath. "He-he said Tanya may not grade again next year."

"So—oh. So you may never see him again."

"Yeah," I answer quietly.

"Does that actually bother you?" he asks, turning to look at me.

"It shouldn't, but… I really think he's ruined me for all other men."

"He's hot as fuck, but he can't be _that_ awesome in bed," Jake scoffs. _Oh Jake, if only you knew._

* * *

 **A/N:** Bella tries to deny it, but Edward could see her exhibitionist streak and had a bit of fun with it. She wasn't willing to stick around and run into Tanya though!

I know many of you will be angry with him for not doing more to stay in touch, beyond telling her to look him up if she's ever in Chicago. And as many suspected, Bella found this goodbye a bit more difficult than their first one.

And… Jake gave Edward a new nickname.

 **Next chapter's title:** I wasn't that happy with my original title, so I actually renamed it this week, as a tribute to one of the many artists who've died in the last six months. It is still an 80s song, a Top 20 hit.

 **While there is a time jump, it will not be one year to their next meeting — promise!**


	10. Modern Love

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's enjoying this story!

I think I saw only two of you who would like to see Bella go looking for Edward in Chicago. The rest hope he comes to her… or stays the hell away from her.

Congrats to **Bevey99** and **peachtreegirl** , who were the only two to guess today's chapter title from David Bowie and earn a teaser. The most popular guess was _I Wanna Be Your Lover_ by Prince, but I don't remember that song at all! Wikipedia tells me it was released in 1979, which is sort of my dark period for music.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 10 – Modern Love_

 _April 2015_

Life goes on once Jake and I return from California. I go on a couple of dates with a guy in our IT department in early March, until I realize he's a conceited ass. At least Jake can't say I'm not trying.

One day in early April, I'm sifting through my emails after lunch when I see one from LinkedIn with the subject "Congratulate Tanya Stratten on her new job." Unable to resist, I open the email, my eyes widening as I read that Tanya has apparently moved to another office of the same consulting firm she was working for in Chicago.

Their _Seattle_ office.

Holy shit, Tanya has moved to Seattle! Of course my mind immediately wonders if Edward has come with her. But why would he? He doesn't love her. You don't generally move halfway across the country for someone you don't love.

But what if he _is_ here? Should I expect to hear from him? Do I _want_ to? I gave Tanya my cell number when we graded together, but that's been over a year now, and I don't know if she kept it. Of course, he could always look up my work number online, from the SOA website's membership directory.

Regardless of whether or not Edward is with her, I'd be stupid to think I'll never run into Tanya. I mean, there are only 25,000 actuaries in the entire country, and only a small sliver of them are in Seattle. It's a small world.

In fact, there's a good chance I'll run into her in just two weeks, when the Seattle Actuarial Club is holding a business luncheon at Maggiano's. I've already signed up to attend, though I suppose I could back out.

No, that's stupid — I can't let the fear of running into Tanya rule my life.

* * *

After carpooling with several coworkers, I nervously get out of the SUV at Maggiano's Little Italy in Bellevue. This is one of my favorite places for these luncheons, since the food is far better than at the Washington Athletic Club or places like that.

We're all mingling before lunch is served when I spot Tanya. And more importantly, she spots _me_ and starts walking in my direction. _Shit._ I'm standing with Angela, so I really hope Tanya behaves herself and doesn't bring up anything to do with Edward.

"Bella! Good to see you again," she greets me with a huge smile.

"Tanya," I nod, trying not to appear as nervous as I feel. I'm really glad that already I knew she was in Seattle, instead of being blindsided! "Um, this is Angela Cheney. Angela, this is Tanya Stratten. She was my grading partner the year I went to Florida," I remind her.

"I saw you present in Atlanta last year. Nice to meet you," Angela greets her.

"Likewise."

"I, um, saw the LinkedIn notification that you'd gotten a new job in Seattle," I begin, nosily trying to find out why.

"Yes," she says with a smile. "After being passed up for a promotion one too many times, I started looking around at our other offices for positions."

"Where did you work before?" Angela asks.

"Chicago," she answers.

"Well, welcome to Seattle," I tell her, trying to be friendly in front of Angela.

"Looks like everyone is sitting down," Angela says, looking around the banquet room.

"It was good seeing you again, Bella," Tanya smiles warmly, then walks away. And I'm still no closer to learning whether or not Edward is here too.

Our meals are as delicious as always, and we're still finishing up our desserts when the speaker begins his 45-minute presentation. Once he's done, I stand up and stretch, then we walk out of the crowded room.

"I'm gonna use the ladies room," Angela says, and I nod at her, trying to stay out of the way of the main entrance.

"Hey, Bella," Tanya says, startling me a few moments later. "I'm so glad I was able to catch up to you again. I have something for you."

My brow furrows in confusion as she hands me a business card. I look it over quickly, noticing the name on the card right away: Edward Cullen.

"Turn it over," she says, and as I do so, I see a handwritten phone number on the back. "That's his cell. He asked me to give it to you."

"Is-is he here?" I stutter, staring at the digits, with an area code I don't recognize as local. "In Seattle, I mean."

"Yes," she replies, and my heart starts beating faster. "Edward grew up in Oregon, did you know that?" I shake my head slowly, still in a daze. "He has no ties to Chicago, though I'm not stupid enough to think that you're not part of the reason he agreed to move, even if he'd never admit that. He also wanted me to ask if it's all right for him to contact _you_."

My eyes widen as I stare at Tanya. She's just so casual about helping her boyfriend connect with another woman — a woman he's already had sex with more than once. "An-and you're OK with that?"

"Sure," she shrugs.

I swallow thickly, then realize she's probably still waiting on an answer from me. Is there any harm in letting Edward have my number? I'm not currently dating anyone. "Um, OK. Do you still have my number?"

"I do," she says with a smile. "I'm sure you'll be hearing from him soon then."

Before I can reply, I see Angela making her way through the crowd toward me. "Sorry that took so long. There was a line. Of course."

"See you later, Bella, Angela." Tanya walks away and I'm left staring after her. I've got Edward's cell number now, and he'll soon have mine. The question is, what does he want from me? Does he want sex with me on a semi-regular basis? If so, is that what I want? To be his woman on the side? Or would I really be "on the side" if his relationship with Tanya is open? It's enough to make my head spin.

* * *

I'm rinsing the dishes from my dinner later that night when my cell rings. I just know it's Edward, before I even look at the caller ID. Tuning off the faucet, I quickly dry my hands and pick up my phone.

"Hello."

" _Hello, Bella._ " His sexy voice sends shivers down my spine. " _Thank you for agreeing to let me contact you._ "

"Um, sure," I reply nervously.

" _I'd like to see you. Are you free on Friday night? We could go out,_ " he suggests.

"Out?" I repeat dumbly. I half expected him to invite himself over for sex.

" _Yes, on a date. Dinner and then… whatever._ " Ah, now we get to the sex. It's been four months since I've seen Edward — four months since I've had sex. The idea isn't unappealing.

"Um, OK," I answer. If nothing else, I can find out why he's really here and what he wants from me. "I'd like that."

" _Great!_ " He sounds relieved. " _Let me find a nice place and I'll text you the details, all right? I'm really looking forward to having a chance to get to know you better._ "

"Me too," I answer honestly. Edward is definitely an enigma.

* * *

On Friday night, I rush home from work to shower, shave and change for my date with Edward. He's made 7pm reservations at a nice Italian restaurant called Bella Italia. I choose a navy blue wrap-style dress, pairing it with my sexiest pair of heels.

I haven't told Jake yet about Edward, or Tanya for that matter, being in Seattle. I will, but I want to know what Edward wants first.

And what I want. It's not like I'm seeing anyone else right now. If Edward wants to get together regularly for sex — and Tanya doesn't mind — is that so wrong? I mean, I had college friends who had fuck buddies.

When I arrive at the restaurant, I spot Edward waiting for me out in front, his unusual hair color shining brightly under the streetlight. Taking a deep breath, I get out of my car and walk toward him.

"Hi," he greets me, stepping close enough to kiss my cheek. He puts his arm around me, leading me through the front door.

We're shown to a booth for two, and as I take my coat off, I notice him looking me up and down. "You look amazing," he whispers in my ear, and I feel my face flush as I take my seat across from him.

"Where's Tanya tonight?" I ask, morbidly curious.

"Out with some people from work."

"And she didn't invite you along?" I remember him telling me that he often attended business dinners with her.

"It's some sort of female bonding thing — no men allowed," he explains.

A waiter comes by to take our drink orders, and Edward suggests we get a bottle of wine.

"I only like Riesling or moscato," I remind him.

Laughing, he agrees to a bottle of Riesling from a winery in Washington state, then picks up his menu as the waiter walks off.

I'm really not much of a wine drinker, but I'm impressed when the waiter pours Edward a small sample, making sure it's to his liking before filling up our glasses.

"So… I was surprised to hear that Tanya got a new job in Seattle. You hadn't mentioned that she was looking," I comment once we've placed our dinner orders.

"She didn't start applying until after the first of the year," he explains. "Her office hired someone from their Hartford office for the promotion Tanya wanted. She figured two could play at that game and started applying for openings at other locations."

I take a sip of my wine. It's a drier Riesling than I'm used to, but tolerable. "I… was even more surprised to hear that you'd come with her."

He shrugs. "Well, I've never been a big fan of Chicago — especially the winters — but I wouldn't have come with her just anywhere. She also had interviews in New York, Atlanta and Indianapolis — none of which really would've interested me."

"And Seattle did…?" I wonder if he'll admit that I had anything to do with it — assuming Tanya was correct, of course.

"I grew up in the Pacific Northwest."

"Near Seattle?" I question, not letting on that Tanya had told me he was from Oregon.

"No, Portland," he replies, shaking his head.

"Oh! So you're not that far from home then," I note with a smile. "You'll be able to visit your family a lot more often, I'll bet."

"No," he answers abruptly, picking up his glass and taking a large sip.

"No? Are you not close with your family?" I can't even imagine.

"My parents are dead." He says it so matter-of-factly, with no emotion, that I'm startled for a moment. Picking up his glass again, he drains it, then pulls the bottle out of the ice bath and pours himself another glass. I decide to change the subject, even though I'm definitely curious.

"I-I'm sorry," I tell him quietly. "How did you end up in Chicago?"

"I went to the University of Illinois. What about you?"

He seems to want to steer the subject away from himself, and I feel bad for bringing up something that's obviously painful. "Oh, I attended a small liberal arts college, here in Seattle."

"Are you a native then?" he asks.

"Sort of. Not Seattle, but I grew up in a very small town on the Olympic peninsula. I'm sure you've never heard of it — it's called Forks."

He smiles. "You're right, I've never heard of it. Does your family still live there?"

"Yes," I nod, "My parents are still there. I have an older brother and sister; they're actually twins. Jasper married his high school sweetheart and still lives in Forks, while my sister, Rosalie, lives in Port Angeles with her family. It's, um, on the northern coast, if you haven't heard of it. You can take the ferry from there to Victoria."

We're interrupted by our waiter setting down our Caesar salads. "Have you found a job here yet?" I ask, taking a bite of my salad. The business card Tanya handed me was from Chicago.

He nods. "Things are going well on that front. I didn't agree to move until I found a job here."

My brow furrows. "And not on other fronts?"

He shrugs. "I had a downtown loft in Chicago that I'm still trying to sell. Until then, I'm staying with Tanya."

I set my glass down, my mouth hanging open as I stare at him. He and Tanya are… living together?

"It's temporary," he quickly adds, likely seeing the look on my face. "A relocation company took care of buying her house back in Chicago."

I nod, turning back to my salad.

"How's Jake?" he asks a few minutes later, eyes twinkling.

"He's fine," I reply, though I doubt he really cares. "He's been dating a new guy for the last month or so." I finally met Seth last weekend, and I really like him. And for once, he's a brunette!

"He wasn't too mad at you for sleeping with me, was he?"

"No," I assure him. "Jake had actually told me to do it if I wanted to. He just wanted whatever I wanted."

"How long have you two been friends?"

"Our entire lives," I smile. "Our parents are good friends, so we pretty much grew up together back in Forks. Then we both ended up here after college. We actually shared an apartment initially, but Jake got his own place a couple years ago."

Our waiter brings our food and we turn our attention to that, just making small talk as we eat. As we're finishing up, Edward looks over at me, appearing almost nervous.

"So… I was wondering if you'd like to go to a club with me tonight."

"A club?" I repeat. "Like a nightclub?"

"Not… exactly. It's called a lifestyle club." My brow furrows in confusion. "In the common vernacular, it'd be a swingers club."

Now my eyes widen as I stare at him. I knew places like that existed, but…

"Tanya and I belonged to a similar club back in Chicago. They're generally pretty exclusive, almost underground — for obvious reasons. It was through that club that we learned about the one in Seattle."

"So you go to the club to…?"

"To swap partners," he confirms my thoughts with a nod. _Oh my God…_

"Why not just go to a bar to find a hook-up?" I ask before I can stop myself.

"Well, it's like I explained to you in California. At a bar you run the risk of finding someone who wants more than just a hook-up. The other club members are all there for the exact same reason. It's also safer in other ways."

"Safer?"

He nods. "There's a membership fee, so it can be kind of exclusive. They do a background check before approving all new members, and to keep up your membership, you need to submit clean blood test results every six months."

"Clean of any STDs, you mean." So that's how Edward could be so confident that he's clean.

"Yes. Despite that, they still require condoms for any sexual activity on the premises. They're not taking any chances of getting sued if anyone catches something."

"And you want me to go to the club with you and… what? We can't swap, right? I'm not a member; I haven't been vetted." Not that I _want_ to have sex with a strange man.

"I have no intention of swapping you, Bella," he says almost seductively. "No, every Friday night, members are allowed to bring one guest. You'll have to show ID, and then you'll get a badge to wear identifying you as my guest. I'll have a coordinating one, and I'm the only one allowed to touch you."

"Why bring me then?" I ask, confused.

He smiles. "I'd like you to see it, so that you can understand. How about we order some dessert, and you can think about it?"

* * *

 **A/N:** So… there was a lot going on in this chapter! Tanya got a new job in Seattle, so that she could score a promotion. There really is an actuarial consulting firm with offices in Chicago and Seattle, as well as all of the other cities mentioned in this chapter — 31 in all.

But more importantly, Edward is now in Seattle, too! He wasted little time in looking Bella up, just having Tanya check first to see if his attention would be welcome. And we learned a little bit about Edward's background for the first time.

We also learned that Edward and Tanya are members of a swingers club. What should Bella do now? Should she go to the club with him and check it out? Should she just invite him home instead? Or tell him to get lost? Any other options?

 **Next chapter's title:** I can either make this super tough, or relatively easy. It's an 80s song that was later sampled in another hit song.


	11. Super Freak

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's taking a chance on this story! You guys certainly had a lot to say about the last chapter! Plenty of pitchforks aimed at Edward — and Bella, for not being able to say no to him.

I thought I was giving you the easy hint, but the only reviewer to earn a teaser this time was **twifan7731**! MC Hammer sampled the 1981 Rick James song _Super Freak_ in his hit _U Can't Touch This_. The most popular guess was _Under Pressure_ (sampled in _Ice Ice Baby_ ) which is what I'd expected. I thought this one would be the second-most obvious answer though! I even tested it out on the guys I eat lunch with.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 11 – Super Freak_

After dessert, Edward insists on taking care of the check, then leads me out of the restaurant with his hand on the small of my back. Once we're outside and away from the door, he turns me to face him, taking hold of both of my hands.

"Have you thought about it? Would you like to go to the club with me?"

"I'll admit I'm curious," I reply. "But you won't… leave me alone to go be with another woman, will you?"

"Of course not!" he cries, sounding almost alarmed. "I'd like for us to spend more time _together_."

"OK, then," I agree, giving him a small smile. There can't be any harm in seeing what it's like. "What's the address?"

He shakes his head. "You'll need to leave your car here and ride with me. A membership badge is necessary to open the gates."

"Oh, um, OK." I let Edward lead me to his car, a silver Volvo, which strikes me as a bit odd. He opens the passenger side door for me, then closes it once I'm inside — a perfect gentleman.

Edward's car smells like him, and just riding with him is enough to cause memories of us naked together to come rushing back. I hope we get to the club soon, before I'm ready to jump him in the car.

We drive for 20 minutes or so, until we're in what feels like the middle of nowhere. Finally I see a huge mansion up ahead, surrounded by a tall wrought iron fence. Edward swipes his badge at a card reader and the gates open, allowing us through.

"Wow! Was this, like, someone's house once?" I ask in awe.

"Yeah, I think so," he nods.

We park in a lot near a number of other cars, and I wait for Edward to open the door and help me out. He leads me toward the front porch with his arm around me.

Inside the screened-in porch, a huge bouncer with a shaved head is waiting. "Badge, please," he says in a no-nonsense voice. Edward hands the man his membership badge and he nods, "Good evening, Mr. Cullen."

"She's my guest," Edward says, nodding toward me.

"ID, please, Ma'am." I pull my driver's license out of my purse and he reads it over, then enters my name on a piece of paper attached to a clipboard. He hands me my license back, along with a neon yellow badge with a clip on it, like you'd get at a conference. "Wear that at all times," he directs.

I watch as he hands some sort of sticky paper to Edward to attach to his own badge, which he clips onto his shirt pocket before ushering me ahead. Inside the front door we step into a huge, elegant foyer with marble floors. There's a coat check on the immediate left, so I hand my coat to the attendant, then slip the claim number into my purse.

"This way first," Edward suggests, leading me through a doorway to our left. I look around the large room, which looks like the type of bar you'd see in a nice steakhouse, maybe. Small, round high-top tables are scattered around the room, along with several completely normal-looking couples who appear to be in their 30s.

"What would you like to drink?" he asks. "Vodka and cranberry?"

"Um, since it's a full bar, can I get a Bailey's?"

"Of course," he smiles. I follow him up to the bar, not really wanting to be alone in this place — though honestly, nothing looks particularly scary.

Once we've got our drinks, we take seats at an open table. "OK so far?" he asks. I nod and receive his panty-dropping smile in return. "So on the other side of the foyer is something like a nightclub, with music and a large dance floor. It's not as loud as a normal club though, I don't think.

"Behind the dance floor is another room for meeting and greeting, like this one. There are couches and ottomans to sit on, and waitresses to take your drink order. And—" he pauses, looking at me carefully, "It's clothing optional."

My eyes widen. "You mean the room is full of naked people?" I whisper-yell.

Smirking, he shakes his head. "Not 'full of'," he explains. "But it is allowed. Those couches and ottomans that I mentioned are often used by couples having sex."

"In public?" I screech.

"Yes, Bella, in public," he confirms with a grin. "I've told you that exhibitionism is a common fetish. And there are also plenty of voyeurs here who like to watch.

"For those not quite so brave, there are semi-private bedrooms behind the bar here," he adds, pointing behind him.

"Semi-private?" I question, though my mind is still stuck on the idea that couples actually have sex in a room full of strangers.

"The wall along the hallway is one-way glass, just like in a police interrogation room. Anyone can walk past the rooms and watch, but from the inside, you never know if anyone is there. It gives the illusion of being watched though, for couples who get off on the idea of it. The back wing and the entire upstairs are full of small private bedrooms, for those who just want to hook up for the night."

"This place is huge, but I don't know if there can possibly be enough rooms for everyone here to hook up."

"Not everyone hooks up every time; some nights no one strikes you. And some people prefer to meet here and then leave to go do their own thing," he explains.

As we drink, I try to people-watch without being obvious about it. I don't know what I expected, but the fact that everyone just looks so _normal_ is kind of shocking to me. No one is ugly, but they're not all as attractive as Edward and Tanya. And I'd kind of expected to be stared at, like a shiny new toy, but that isn't happening. I've seen a few women eyeing Edward, but that's it.

"No one is really paying attention to us," I whisper.

"No," Edward smiles. "They see your Guest badge, so they know you're off limits. Are you ready to dance?" he asks, nodding toward my empty glass.

"You dance?" I chuckle.

"Sure, why not?" Grinning, he stands up, holding his hand out to me.

Once we've stepped through the French doors on the other side of the foyer, the atmosphere changes. The music is loud, but not so loud as to inhibit conversation. A few people are standing around the perimeter of the room, but the majority are on the floor dancing.

Make that, dirty dancing. They're all fully clothed, or they'd probably all be having sex.

Edward leads me to an open spot on the dance floor, then moves behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I can feel him begin to sway to the sexy beat, and I slowly begin to move with him. He buries his face in the side of my neck, leaving a soft, lingering kiss on my skin. Goosebumps erupt throughout my entire body as he begins his seduction.

"I love how responsive you are," he whispers in my ear. "I bet you're already wet, aren't you, Bella?" I don't respond, but he's totally got me pegged. "Should I check?"

"Edward!" I squirm away as his hand begins creeping up my thigh, underneath my dress. I spin around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck as we continue to dance. He pulls me close and I can feel his erection digging into my hip. In a room full of attractive women, he's staring at _me_ as we dance, and it makes me feel beautiful.

When the music changes, he untangles me and spins me back around. Unable to resist, I rub my backside against his hard-on, making him groan. "Minx!"

I get more and more turned on as we dance together. I assume he intends to take me upstairs at some point, and I don't plan to protest. After a couple more songs, Edward grabs my hand, leading me off the dance floor and through a door into the next room.

It's all I can do not to stare. Mixed between the couples standing around chatting, I see a woman on her knees, giving a blowjob to a man seated in a chair. One woman is completely naked, laid out along a narrow table that's roughly pool-table height, her head tipped back so that she can suck the cock of a guy standing behind her, while another man's head is between her legs. Yet another woman is bouncing atop a man seated in the corner of one of the couches.

They all seem so uninhibited, so free… like they don't give a fuck who's watching them. I'm not really turned on by watching them have sex — that might be limited to watching _Edward_ — but the thought of being so free…

Edward brings me to a quiet place along the wall, backs me into it, then kisses me, his tongue immediately coming out to play. Goddamn, I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed his kisses. He lifts me up and I instinctually wrap my legs around him, grinding against him.

"Are you gonna make good on your teasing?" he asks. "We can go upstairs right now, or… we can be the next main attraction."

My eyes widen. "You'd really have sex in this room, in front of strangers?"

He nods. "I will if _you_ want to. It makes no difference to me. I just want to be inside you soon."

I crane my neck to look past him at the room. Instead of the couples having sex, I see now the people watching them, and I remember how much I liked knowing that Tanya was enjoying what she was seeing. But…

"I'm not sure about being naked in front of strangers."

Edward smiles, reaching up to brush my hair behind my ear. "I can keep you mostly clothed, if you prefer."

"Do you want to do it?" I question.

"Only if _you_ want to. I want you to feel free to act on your desires, whatever they may be. This is a safe place. Everyone here enjoys something that's outside the norm, even if it's just 'swinging.' Everyone here fears people finding out what they do in their private lives and judging them for it, but there is no judgment here."

As I stare into his eyes, he captures my lips in another steamy kiss. As his hips pin me to the wall, his right hand sneaks between us to pull back one side of my wrap top so that he can squeeze my breast. I whimper when he slides my bra cup out of the way, circling my nipple lightly with one finger.

Lifting me up higher, he bends down until he can suck my nipple into his mouth. I'm so lost in what his lips and tongue are doing that I don't even _care_ that there are others in the room.

"Edward," I moan, and he lifts his head.

"Last chance," he whispers against my lips. "We can go wherever you want."

"H-here."

Edward stares into my eyes as if he's making sure it's really what I want before he smiles, letting my legs drop to the ground. He takes my hand and leads me over to stand in front of a red leather ottoman. Getting down on his knees, he reaches up underneath my dress to pull my panties down as my heartbeat speeds up. He encourages me to spread my legs, then sticks his head underneath my dress. Bracing my hands on his shoulders, I stare down at them as he laps at me with his tongue until I can hardly remain standing.

"Oh God, you're good at that," I moan.

Edward is smiling when he brings his head out from beneath the fabric. He reaches for my purse, setting it on the ground beside him, then takes his wallet out of his back pocket to grab the required condom.

"Get down on your knees," he directs, and once I've done so, he grasps my face and kisses me again. I can taste myself on his mouth, and it's… strange.

"Open my shirt." Staring into his eyes, I slowly begin undoing the buttons, then brush my hands over his toned chest. "Now open my pants."

As he begins sucking on my neck, I pop open the button then pull his zipper down. He's wearing underwear today, and I reach inside to pull out his cock. "Fuck," he groans as I begin sliding my hand up and down his very hard cock. It feels so warm and thick in my hand and I can't wait until he's inside me.

"Ready, baby?" he whispers in my ear. I nod and he spins me around, positioning me so that my forearms are braced on the ottoman.

I know there are people in the room, and I know some of them must be watching us, but all I care about is Edward right now. I hear him pulling his pants down behind me and then the crinkle of the foil packet as he opens it. And then his hands are on me, flipping the bottom of my dress up to expose me to him.

I hold my breath in anticipation, feeling his cock press against me. He slides it in achingly slowly until he's completely buried inside me.

"Breathe, baby." I exhale a heavy breath, and he starts to move, slowly at first and then picking up speed. He's holding on to my hips initially but then he bends forward until he can grasp my hands in each of his.

Suddenly he straightens up, pulling me with him. He brings one hand around my chest, pulling and tweaking my nipple, while his lips suck on my neck. All the while, his hips never stop moving.

"Look around you, baby. See everyone watching you? See that guy—" he tilts my head to the left, "—with his hand down his pants? He wants you so bad, he wants to be the one fucking you, but he can't touch you. Only I can touch you."

I inhale sharply, staring at the man who does indeed have his hand down his pants.

"You're so fucking sexy, baby. I love it when you just let go and listen to your body." His left hand still on my breast, he brings his right hand underneath my dress, circling my clit. I whimper, spreading my legs to give him easier access. "Do you want to come?"

"Y-yes."

"Look at that woman to your right, about two o'clock. See her licking her lips? She wishes she were you right now, getting fucked in a room full of people. Look right at her when I make you come, OK? Show her what she's missing."

I nod helplessly and Edward removes his hands, pushing me forward. He increases the pace of his thrusts until I'm babbling incoherently. It's too difficult to focus on anything beyond the feel of his cock, though.

"Oh… oh God," I scream when I finally come. He wraps himself around me, thrusts a few more times, and then freezes, groaning loudly.

Edward holds me tightly for several moments before pulling away. As I come back down to earth, I see so many pairs of eyes watching me. I quickly shove my breast back into my bra and straighten my top.

When I turn around, Edward is tying off the condom, then he tries to pull his pants up one-handed. Staring at the condom, it truly hits me — I just let him fuck me in front of dozens of strangers. Who _does_ that?

Reaching around blindly for my panties, I can feel my breathing speeding up. Oh my God, what have I done? Fuck, fuck, fuck…

"Bella?" Edward calls, but his voice sounds like it's coming through a tunnel. "Shit!"

* * *

 **A/N:** We have a cliffie!

Many of you have been blaming Edward for manipulating Bella into doing what he wants, but he was quite clear with her that where they had sex was her decision. She was sure she wanted to do it there… until it really hit her what she'd done.

I have never been to a swingers club. My club is based on the website of a lifestyle club in Denver mixed with the descriptions in the old, abandoned fic _Consequencias_. And likely some artistic liberties. Who's gonna admit to visiting one to tell me what I've gotten wrong?

 **Next chapter's title:** Hmmm… let's try this one. A #3 hit song by a band whose name was a misnomer.


	12. Hold Me Now

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's taking a chance on this story! Reviews were more positive than for the prior chapter, though there are still pitchforks aimed at Edward.

This was another tough chapter title to guess, with only **foreverpeetaslove** and **heatherelise** guessing the correct band and song. Also **shaz308** got the right band, but not the song (initially). The Thompson Twins were actually a trio, so the name is misnomer.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 12 – Hold Me Now_

Edward grabs something off the floor, then takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. Breathing heavily, I stumble after him as he rushes out of the room, then drags me with him up the stairs.

We enter a room through an open door and he tosses something toward the bed before closing the door. By now, tears are streaming down my face and it's so hard to breathe.

"Baby, breathe!" he says loudly, leading me further into the room. He sits down on the bed and pulls me onto his lap. "Shhhh… It's OK, baby, calm down," he soothes, stroking his hand through my hair. I take big gulps of air, trying to anchor myself with his touch.

"Everything's all right, Bella. You're fine. Just take slow, deep breaths, OK?" He rubs my back and I try, I really try to listen to him. I try to focus on him and not what I've just done.

As the minutes pass, I feel myself calming under his gentle touch and comforting words, until finally I'm a limp ball held in his arms like a child.

"What happened, baby?" he asks quietly, kissing the top of my head.

"I—you—I let you have sex with me in front of all those _people_!" I cry. "What kind of a, a, a _slut_ am I?"

"No, baby!" he shouts, turning my head to face him. "No. You are not a slut. I told you, there's no judgment here. Did you see how many women wished they could be brave enough to do what you did?"

"Brave?" I whisper.

"Yes, you are so brave, Bella," he says gently, stroking my face. "You lived out a fantasy that so many women have but would never have the guts to do. I meant it when I told you how sexy you looked, letting go like that. No one in that room thought any less of you."

My bottom lip trembles as I stare into his eyes, and I feel a few more tears leak out. Edward reaches up and gently brushes them away. Watching me carefully, he leans in and brushes his lips against mine.

Very slowly, he slides me off of his lap, then lies down, bringing me with him until my head is resting on his chest. He tenderly strokes his hand through my hair again and again until I'm totally calm and my tears have dried up.

"OK now?" he asks, tilting my chin up until I'm looking at him.

"Yes," I nod.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I really thought you were sure wanted to do it. I thought you were enjoying yourself."

"I-I did and I _was_ enjoying it. But… then I started to worry about what everyone else must think of me. N-not just the other people in the room but anyone else who ever finds out."

"No one will ever know unless you tell them, baby," he says softly, brushing my hair behind my ear. "Ready to go home?"

Nodding again, I sit up slowly. I glance toward the bottom of the bed and see that he'd grabbed my panties and purse for me. I stand up and slide my panties back on, realizing Edward had never buttoned his shirt or done his pants up before he got me out of there.

"There's a bathroom down the hall if you want to clean up," he suggests, which sounds like a great idea.

The ladies room ends up looking just like a fancy hotel bathroom, with a long marble sink and several stalls. I'm not sure what I expected. After I use the bathroom, I wash my hands and splash a bit of water on my blotchy face. I fix my hair, then step out to find Edward waiting for me. He looks a bit unsure, like he'd expected me to freak out once I was out of his sight.

"I'm all right," I assure him. With his arm around me, he leads me down the stairs to the foyer. We stop to get our coats, then leave my Guest badge with the bouncer.

Edward walks me to his car, then stops, kissing my cheek before he opens the car door for me.

We're mostly quiet on the drive back to the restaurant. Suddenly cold, I turn on the heated seat and increase the temperature on my side of the car.

When we pull into the parking lot of Bella Italia, he shuts off the engine, turning to look at me. "Are you OK to drive home?" he asks. "I don't mind driving you in your car and then catching a cab back here. Or I could follow you home."

I'm struck for a moment by how thoughtful that is. And really, Edward has been nothing but sweet to me tonight, even through my meltdown.

"I'll be fine."

He must believe me, because he gets out of the car, then comes around to help me up. We walk over to my car hand in hand, and I pull out my keyfob to unlock it.

Stopping beside my car, I bite my lip, looking up at Edward. "You were amazing tonight," he says, kissing me softly. I kiss him back and it turns into a bit of a mini make-out session against the door of my car until I finally push him away before we make a spectacle of ourselves.

"Good night," he whispers, turning to leave.

The restaurant isn't all that far from my apartment, thankfully. As I drive, I can feel myself starting to panic again as I think back on my night, but I tamp in down. Once I'm home, I undress and take a hot shower, hoping that will help me feel less… dirty.

* * *

Jake is working all weekend, but he has time for a quick lunch near the gym on Sunday. I meet him at Panera, then steer him toward the most private booth I can find.

"So… Tanya and Edward have moved to Seattle," I begin, and he nearly chokes on a piece of lettuce.

Jake coughs a few times, then takes a sip of his water. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. Tanya and Edward have moved to Seattle. I ran into Tanya at the Seattle Actuarial Club luncheon this week. She got a new job at her company's Seattle office."

"Why would he move with her… unless he really moved for you?" he suggests, raising an eyebrow.

"Tanya thought I might be part of the reason, but he's also from Portland originally."

"Have you seen him yet?"

I nod. "He took me to dinner on Friday."

"Just dinner? Or did you sleep with him?" Trust Jake to get right to the point.

"I slept with him," I confirm. I've already decided not to tell Jake anything about the lifestyle club. Maybe no one there would judge me for what I did, but I'm afraid he might.

"So is this going to be a regular occurrence now that he's in town?"

I stop short at that question. Edward and I really didn't discuss anything like that. I still don't know exactly what he wants from me, but regular sex wouldn't be a bad guess. At least until he gets bored with me and wants more variety.

"I don't know for sure. I mean, he still has a girlfriend. They're even living together right now, until he can sell his place in Chicago and buy something here. He told me he likes variety. Is two women enough variety for him? I really don't know."

"So you're just gonna spread your legs whenever he calls you?"

Glaring, I toss my baguette at him. "Thank you, Mr. Judgey Pants."

Jake raises his hands in surrender. "It's not judging, just… the guy has a really sweet deal. He's got a live-in girlfriend, and another woman at his beck and call. Plus who knows how many more."

"You don't like him, do you?" I sigh.

"I don't know him. But I _do_ know that I don't want to see my very sweet friend get hurt. He's not gonna commit to you, Bells."

"I know that."

"Your head does, but that doesn't mean your heart won't forget. Look, sleeping with him casually a couple of times is one thing, but I don't think you have it in you to have a sex-only relationship. At some point, feelings and emotions are going to get involved — from your side, but not his.

"Not to mention, if you're too tied up with Edward, you might miss the love of your life if he's standing right in front of you. Just… be careful, all right?"

"I will," I whisper.

"That reminds me… he used a condom, right?"

I roll my eyes. "He did," I confirm, though I leave out the part about how he _had_ to.

"Good. The last thing you need is an STD… or a surprise pregnancy with this guy."

"I've got an IUD, Jake," I laugh. Besides, Edward told me he'd gotten a vasectomy. "That's like over 99% effective."

"You didn't tell me that!"

"I didn't? I got it when you made me go get tested, after I slept with Edward the first time. Maybe you just tune out anything to do with my female parts."

"Maybe," he chuckles.

* * *

The next several weeks are an extremely busy time for me at work, with many long hours. We're trying to get a new product on the street by June 1, and there has been one problem after another with our administration systems. After IT makes the necessary changes, I'm part of the group testing them.

It's only when I hear someone at lunch talking about her weekend plans with her boyfriend that I realize I haven't heard from Edward since our date. I mean, he's not my boyfriend, but he's a guy I'm sleeping with, so I draw the comparison.

He seemed so sweet when I was freaking out after we had sex, and he didn't seem bothered by it at all, so then why haven't I heard from him? Though he made me no promises of any kind, it still… hurts a bit, if he's really decided he's done with me without a word.

I'm still moping as I head back to my desk after lunch. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous; it can't help that I'm exhausted. I will be so glad when this project is done. I'd really like nothing more than to spend the weekend in bed, but Sunday is Mother's Day so I need to make the four-hour drive to Forks tomorrow. Tonight, though, I plan to get some takeout and sit around in my PJs all night.

Around two o'clock, my cell rings and I'm startled to see Edward's name on the Caller ID. "H-hello?" I answer it tentatively.

" _Hey, Bella,_ " he greets me. " _Are you busy tonight?_ "

"Busy being a bum," I answer before I can stop myself.

" _Sorry?_ "

I sigh. "No, I'm sorry. It's been a long couple of weeks at work. I don't feel like going out tonight. I kind of just wanted to go to bed early." I'm definitely not up for the club again. And I really wasn't planning to do anything that requires a bra.

" _That can be arranged,_ " he replies in a sexy drawl… which goes straight between my legs. " _I could maybe bring over some takeout if you're not feeling up to going out?_ "

"That'd be great, actually. Um, there's a really good Middle Eastern place near me, if you'd like that?"

" _Sure. Just text me the info on the place and your address. Is it OK if I show up at seven?_ "

"That works. See you then!"

As soon as I've hung up, I let out a heavy breath. Edward isn't avoiding me, after all. Just knowing that gives me the energy to make it through the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

When I get home from work, I immediately change into a pair of yoga pants, then remove my bra and put on a casual, loungewear shirt. Not quite pajamas, but… it's Edward. I can't look like a total slob.

When the doorbell rings a couple of minutes early, I take a deep breath before answering it, trying not to appear too eager.

"Hey," he greets me with a smile. Damn, he's a sight for sore eyes. I motion for him to step inside, and he drops a soft kiss on my cheek on his way to the kitchen. Edward has already brought drinks, so I don't have to do anything except sit down and let him serve me.

"So… how have you been?" I ask tentatively as he takes his seat across from me. "Have you sold your place in Chicago yet?"

"Not yet," he moans. "There is some competing new construction a few blocks away. My real estate agent thinks I'll have better luck once the last few units are gone. It can't come soon enough."

"Why do you say that?" I chuckle.

"Nothing," he shakes his head. "Just… Tanya is making me a bit batty. She is _so_ high maintenance."

I can't help myself, I laugh out loud. "As if you couldn't already tell that from the highlighted hair, manicured nails and fake tan?"

Edward grins. "I never knew so much work went into being a woman."

"Well, not all women," I grin back. "I only get my nails done when I've got some event to attend, like my friend's wedding last summer."

"I know," he says softly. "I find you refreshing."

"So where is Tanya tonight?" I ask nosily.

"Cedar Rapids, in Iowa," he answers, before taking a long sip of his beer. "She's been gone all week, working with a client there. She expects to need most of next week to finish up, and instead of coming home for the weekend, she decided to go visit her family in Milwaukee."

"So she's left you on your own all week?" I smile.

"Yep, and it's been awesome… though not really all that different from when she's around. One night a week she has yoga, two nights she's with her personal trainer at the gym…"

I can't help my giggle. "Did you know Jake is a personal trainer?"

"Is he? Figures… he about broke my hand when he shook it," he grumbles, making me giggle even more.

We're nearly finished with our meals when I get up the nerve to ask Edward about the last few weeks. "So… when I hadn't heard from you, I assumed that maybe… my epic meltdown had scared you off."

Edward looks up sharply, staring at me. "God, no, Bella. No, not at all. I just… I thought you might need some space, away from me."

"You were giving me space?" Why had that never occurred to me?

He nods. "I thought maybe you wouldn't want to hear from me. I'd been arguing with myself all week to just call you, and obviously the side that missed you won out this afternoon," he grins.

He missed me? I can't help it, but I feel a bit warm inside hearing that — even if he is probably just bored because Tanya has been away all week.

"So, while I clean up, why don't you find a movie for us to watch?" Edward suggests.

"You-you want to watch a movie?"

"Isn't that the thing these days? Netflix and chill?"

"I think that's just a euphemism for sex," I chuckle. "But sure, we can watch a movie."

I get up and move into the living room, where I do indeed have Netflix. I have no idea what Edward's taste in movies may be. I flip through the selections, and everything just sounds like it's aimed at teenage boys or comic book fans.

"Find anything?" Edward asks, coming to take a seat beside me.

"Not really… since I'm not a teenage boy."

Laughing, Edward grabs the remote then realizes I'm not joking, though we eventually just choose something. He settles into the corner of the couch, motioning for me to come closer, until I'm leaning against his strong chest. And it's really, really nice. We've only ever… cuddled like this after sex.

"Time for dessert," he whispers in my ear as the closing credits begin to roll.

* * *

 **A/N:** Look, Ma, no lemon in this one.

So, Bella didn't faint or run away as some of you though; just a panic attack. How did Edward do in dealing with the aftermath? Was he right to give her space for a few weeks after that?

Jake tried to talk some sense into his friend, but she really isn't ready to pick out china patterns with Edward. She knows he's not interested in a monogamous relationship.

Is Edward just substituting Bella for Tanya right now, while she's unavailable?

 **Next chapter's title:** A 1985 #1 hit by a legendary  male artist. It's been guessed a couple of times already for other chapters.


	13. Part Time Lover

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's taking a chance on this story! Most of you are pleased with the way Edward handled Bella's panic attack, but wish he would've contacted her the next day to check on her.

Congrats to **2loveybunnies** , **KDMCAM** , **twifan7731** , **shaz308** , **orion03981** , **anitabonita2413** , **LSU15** , **peachtreegirl** , **starsmina** , **2muchtrouble** , **foreverpeetaslove** , **Lotus11** , **Romana973** , **Felicia123** , **EdwardsFirstKiss** , **edwardsgirl007** , **DamnPrecious0329** , **Ninkita** and **Tay240** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing today's chapter title from Stevie Wonder.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 13 – Part Time Lover_

 _"_ _Time for dessert," Edward whispers in my ear as the closing credits begin to roll._

I assume he means sex, but instead he gently moves me out of the way so he can get up. He comes back just a moment later carrying a small bag.

"What's this?" I ask, sitting up straighter.

Smiling, he opens he bag after retaking his seat, and I almost start drooling at what's inside. "Baklava!"

"Yep," he smiles, handing me one of the two pieces.

Edward dispenses of his dessert rather quickly, while I eat mine more daintily, enjoying every moment of the sticky treat. By the last bite, my fingertips are coated in honey. I start to put them in my mouth to clean them, when he suddenly grabs my wrist.

"Mine," he growls, bringing my hand to his mouth. Staring into my eyes the entire time, he erotically sucks my fingers into his mouth. Once they've been licked clean, he tugs on my wrist until I go willing into his lap.

Edward hugs me to him, brushing his hands up and down my back until he freezes suddenly. "Are you not wearing a bra?" he asks incredulously.

I can feel myself blushing as I shake my head. "Well, if I'd known that…" And then he's kissing me, his tongue immediately asking for entry. I can still detect the faint taste of honey on his tongue as he explores my mouth.

Winding my arms around his neck, I brush my chest against his and begin rolling my hips. In no time at all, I can feel him harden beneath me.

I'm breathless by the time be breaks away from my lips. "Show me to your bedroom," he orders, holding me tightly as he stands up. I wrap my legs around his hips, pointing down the hallway.

Edward sets me down on the edge of my bed and his hands immediately go to the bottom of my shirt, pushing it up and off. He then kneels in front of me, encouraging me to lie back so that he can remove my yoga pants and panties.

"Oh fuck!" I yelp when he takes a long lick from my entrance up to my clit. He wraps his arms around my hips, just like he did the first time I felt his mouth on me, holding me in place while his lips and tongue get reacquainted with my most intimate parts.

He's relentless, and in no time at all, I'm shaking and shuddering from the force of my orgasm. When Edward lets me go, I scoot up fully onto the bed, watching and drooling as he does the sexiest fucking strip tease ever.

Once he's completely naked, I stare up at the perfection that is Edward Cullen. Yes, he technically has a girlfriend. Yes, he's a member of a swingers club. But I can't bring myself to care right now.

Edward has pretty much taken the lead in all our sexual encounters, but it's my turn. "Lie down," I tell him, and his eyes widen for a moment before he smirks. I scoot out of the way while he gets into position on my bed, his head resting on my pillow.

Climbing over his body, I straddle his thighs, brushing my hands over his toned chest and abs. "You know, you shouldn't pick on Tanya for working out — clearly you're no stranger to the gym yourself."

"So glad you've noticed."

At his cocky attitude, I lean down, biting lightly on his right nipple and making him hiss. I trace it with my tongue to ease the sting, then do the same to the other. My hands follow his happy trail down past his navel and the defined V of his hips.

His cock is standing at attention, a touch of precum glistening at the tip. I wrap my hand around it, loving the little noises he makes, and then I bend forward, licking from base to tip. I suck the head of his cock into my mouth, exploring it with my tongue.

"Look up at me, baby."

I follow his instructions, looking up at his face while I take in as much of his cock as I can.

"Fuck, I wish I had a picture of this," he groans. "You look so good sucking my cock."

I tried deep throating with my favorite dildo, based on Jake's advice. I failed miserably in multiple attempts, so I'm not going to try it now. Edward seems to be enjoying how far I _can_ go though.

"Mmm… I don't want to come like this, baby."

I pull my mouth off, looking up at him. "How do you want to come?"

"With you riding me."

Though I'd tried it with Riley, I'm still a bit nervous about being on top.

"I was just tested when I joined the club," Edward says, mistaking my hesitation for concern about the fact that he hasn't grabbed a condom. I recognize that he and Tanya are being as safe as they can, if their sexual encounters generally involve other club members — and required condoms.

Slowly, I position myself over his cock, then sink down onto him. I move slowly at first, getting used to the feeling — he's a lot bigger than Riley.

"Come here, baby," Edward orders, and I lean forward, allowing him to take my breast into his mouth. His hands are on my hips now, moving me up and down his cock just the way he likes.

"Oh… you feel so good," I moan. He releases my breast, pulling me forward so he can kiss me. I brace myself on his shoulders, moving my hips as I chase my own orgasm.

"Suck on it," he says suddenly, holding his left pinky in front of my mouth. I'm puzzled, but I do as he says, swirling my tongue around and around.

Once he's pulled his finger from my mouth, Edward grins at me, going back to holding my hips while he thrusts up into me. I'm too close to coming to worry much about why he asked me to do that… until he squeezes my ass cheeks, and somehow his finger ends up… _there_.

I look up at him in panic, but he shakes his head. "Shhh…" His pinky makes small, light circles, then he pushes just the tip inside me. It doesn't _hurt_ , though it does feel really strange. His other hand slides down and around until he's pressing on my clit just at the moment his pushes his finger in a little further.

The combined sensations are making it difficult to think and I shatter with an intense orgasm, screaming out his name. He groans loudly, then thrusts hard three more times before he freezes, spilling inside me.

When I come back to earth, I'm draped across Edward's chest, his softening cock still inside me, while his hands trail softly up and down my back. I lazily lift my head and he smiles at me. "Welcome back."

Slowly, I sit up, then realize that was a bad idea, as I can feel his cum leaking out of me. I quickly clamber off of him and head for the bathroom. After cleaning up, I wash my face and brush my teeth. I dig around in my vanity until I find a spare toothbrush, which I leave by the sink… in case he wants to stay the night. It's not like he needs to get home to his girlfriend.

When I come out of the bathroom, Edward is still lying on his back, his arms crossed beneath his head. He watches me as I dig a nightshirt out of my dresser, then sticks his bottom lip out in a pout as I put it on. I assume that means he'd like to stay.

"I, um, put an extra toothbrush out for you."

"Thanks," he smiles, getting up and heading into the bathroom. By the time he comes back, I'm already under the covers. He spoons behind me, then pulls at the fabric of my nightshirt.

"Why did you put this on?"

"Because I'm exhausted and I thought it might keep you from waking me up for sex." Laughing, he hugs me close and I close my eyes.

* * *

I wake up to a soft, wet stroking on my left nipple. My nightshirt is pushed all the way up and all I can see when I open my eyes is the top of Edward's head. I reach my hand down, scratching through his messy hair, and he lifts his head, smiling at me.

"Good morning," he says.

"What time is it?" I yawn.

"About 7:30. We need to get up if I'm gonna have time to get breakfast with you."

My brow furrows in confusion. "It's not like you need to get home to Tanya."

"No," he chuckles. "But I do start work at ten."

"You work on weekends?"

He nods. "On Saturdays. I'm off Mondays. It's easier for some patients to make weekend appointments, so I try to accommodate them."

I slide out of bed, heading into the bathroom for my morning routine. After I've brushed my teeth, I wonder about asking Edward to shower with me. I mean, he needs to shower before work, right?

Who am I kidding? If we're naked and wet together, we won't be getting clean. Not that I mind…

I open the bathroom door, finding him sitting on the edge of the bed. "I was wondering when you planned to invite me," he smirks, standing up and walking toward me — his hard cock leading the way.

"You're a cocky ass sometimes, you know that?" He grins, kissing me soundly. Clearly he's already been up and brushed his own teeth.

I turn on the shower to let the water heat up, then grab two towels, setting them on the closed toilet lid. I test the water, then step over the edge of the tub and let the hot water fall over me.

Just a moment later, I feel Edward's warm chest against my back. He gathers my hair out of the way and kisses the side of my neck sensually.

"This is my favorite way to work out in the morning," he whispers. He spins me around then picks me up like I weigh nothing, lifting me up high enough that he can dip his head and take my nipple into his mouth.

His wet hair is hanging in his face, so I brush it out of the way for him, smiling when he lifts his head to kiss me.

"This is gonna be hard and fast," he warns, lowering me, then burying himself inside me in one thrust. I cry out in surprise, hanging on tightly as he fucks me just as hard and fast as he promised.

Somehow Edward manages to keep one hand behind my head, so I don't give myself a concussion on the tiled wall of my shower. I just have a standard tub/shower combination, so there really isn't enough room to be doing this. His mouth ravages mine, while his cock moves in and out fast and then even faster.

I come with a loud cry, quickly followed by Edward. He rests his forehead on my shoulder until he's able to catch his breath and then slowly lower me to the ground. My legs feel like jelly and I have to brace myself on the shower wall for a moment.

"Wow…" is about all I can say.

He hands me the shower poof and I quickly wash up, then hand it back to him while I shampoo and condition my hair.

As we dry off, I notice some light bruises on my hip. They don't look super-fresh, so they must be from last night. Edward notices as well and brushes his hand over one of them. "Sorry," he says quietly. "Does it hurt?"

"No," I assure him. He bends down to kiss me again before stepping out of the bathroom. I take the opportunity to spread lotion all over myself, finding Edward fully dressed in last night's clothes by the time I come back to the bedroom.

"So… breakfast?" he questions while I get dressed.

"There's a great little place just a block down the street. We could walk there?" I suggest, and he readily agrees.

"This is a great neighborhood," he comments as we walk to the café. "I haven't been to this part of the area before. Have you thought about buying something instead of renting?"

"I have," I confirm. "I don't know, I guess I'm not ready to take the plunge and become a homeowner. I rented out of college since I had no money for a down payment, and with studying for the actuarial exams, I didn't have time to cut my own grass or stuff like that anyway. It's easier to just call the Super when I need repairs," I shrug.

Once we're seated at the café, we read over our menus — well, Edward does, I know what I want — then place our orders. And then I know it's time to have that tough conversation we should've had weeks ago.

"So, can I come over tonight after work?" he asks before I can open my mouth. "Or maybe you'll feel like going out this time?"

"Oh… I, um, I can't. I'm supposed to leave for Forks later this morning. It's, um, Mother's Day tomorrow," I add tentatively, wondering if it'll upset Edward and cause him to miss his own mom.

"Right," he answers quietly, nodding his head before picking up his glass of orange juice.

"What are we?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. "I mean, what do you want from me? You have a girlfriend."

Edward opens and closes his mouth a few times before frowning, then he picks up his glass again. I wait patiently for him to answer — obviously he wasn't expecting the question.

"I'm not a big fan of labels," he finally says. "If I'm having fun and you're having fun, does it need a name? We're clearly attracted to each other and sexually compatible. Why can't we just… get together when we want to?"

"So… you want sex with me on some kind of regular basis," I try to paraphrase.

"I don't want a standing appointment every Tuesday night or something. But if I get the urge, I'll call or text you and you should feel welcome to do the same."

"But I'm not seeing anyone else and you are. You're living with another woman, in fact."

"Another woman who also sees other people." He pauses, running his hand through his hair roughly. "I've never… had any other regular partners since I've been with Tanya. There's no guidebook for how this should work, but… I'm willing to give it a shot if you are."

I sit back in my chair for a moment as I think about his answer. It's pretty much what I'd expected, I guess. He'll call me for sex when he wants it, and I'll likely oblige. Since I got my IUD, my periods have basically stopped, so there's not even a specific time of the month when I'd be likely to turn him down.

Like Jacob said, I'll spread my legs for Edward when he asks. The thought makes me feel a bit cheap, but I remind myself that it's not uncommon for young, single people to have fuck buddies. I wouldn't be doing something that plenty of my peers aren't doing also.

I still wouldn't want anyone but Jake to know that's all Edward is to me, though.

"If you meet someone else, you're free to end our arrangement at any time — I won't stop you," Edward declares. "I understand you're not like me."

"OK," I agree with a sigh. "I'll be your… whatever."

He grins, lifting his glass toward me in a toast.

* * *

 **A/N:** See, he really did mean dessert… at least initially.

Finally Bella initiated that important conversation about what the hell they're doing. What could possible go wrong with this plan to be casual fuck buddies?

Some readers had pointed out after the last chapter that Bella could've reached out to _him_. He's now given her permission to call him for a booty call. Who will make the next move?

 **Next chapter's title:** A Top 5 hit by a band whose charismatic lead singer is sadly no longer with us. If I added one more clue, it'd be way too easy!


	14. What You Need

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's taking a chance on this story! I forgot to say thanks last chapter for helping pass 1,000 reviews! We're also about to cross 500 Favorites.

This was a tougher chapter title to guess! No one got the song, but congrats to **foreverpeetaslove** , **101KoolKat** , **twifan7731** , **pampam223** , **KDMCAM** , **shaz308** , **2loveybunnies** , **Scoobylover68** , and **MIRosebud** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing the Australian band INXS, whose lead singer, Michael Hutchence, committed suicide in 1997.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 14 – What You Need_

"You guys are going to help me eat this, right?" I grin, looking down at my slice of salted caramel cheesecake. My lovely coworkers decided to treat me to a night out to celebrate my long-awaited promotion to Associate Actuary.

It used to be that actuaries got automatic promotions every time they passed a required number of exams, but since the last change to the exam system allowed progress to be made more than just twice a year, the required levels have been reached earlier and earlier. Most employers have now changed to requiring a minimum number of years of experience, alongside the exams, in order to get the once-automatic promotions.

"Heck, no! You ordered it, you eat it," Angela grins right back.

"Yeah, but I usually take it home and eat it over three days!"

Eventually everyone agrees to take one small forkful, but that still leaves me with at least two-thirds of the piece to myself — after I've already ingested a huge bowl of pasta. I'll need to go work out with Jake for the next two weeks to work off all of these calories.

After leaving the Cheesecake Factory, I get into Angela's car for the drive to a popular new nightclub called Club Twilight. She actually picked me up at my apartment this morning so I wouldn't have to leave my car at the office. Now that they've stuffed me, they plan on getting me drunk. Angela drew the short straw and is one of the designated drivers.

Several drinks into the night, the conversation starts to get a bit… not-safe-for-work. Victoria, who's a few years younger than I am, starts it when she tells us about the new guy she's been dating and how he's bragged to her that he "can last four hours."

"He needs to see a doctor about that according to the commercials," Angela laughs.

"I think that would _hurt_ ," Kate adds.

From there, everyone — except me — starts bragging about their sex lives. Even Angela gets in on the act; the minister's daughter is usually the prim and proper one. I smile and laugh at the appropriate times, but I don't contribute to the conversation. I mean, I have nothing to brag about from my few previous relationships, and no one except Jake knows Edward exists.

The more I drink, the worse I start to feel, though I try not to show it outwardly. Out of the seven of us, I'm the only one who's not married or dating someone. Story of my life since I was in high school; I should be used to it by now.

Of course, drinking so much alcohol means I need to use the ladies' room. On my way out, my more-than-a-little-tipsy self decides it would be a good idea to call Edward. I haven't heard from him in three weeks, and all this talk about sex tonight is making me miss him.

Standing in the hallway outside the bathrooms, I pull out my phone and call him.

" _Hey, Bella,_ " he answers.

"Um, hi." It's not like I'd actually figured out what to say if I reached him, however.

" _Where are you? It seems kind of noisy in the background._ "

"Um, I'm at… um… Club Twilight," I giggle at how slow my brain is tonight. "With some work friends," I add, not wanting him to think I'm here trying to hook up or something.

" _Have you been drinking?_ " Edward asks. Wow, he's smart.

I giggle again. "Isn't that what people do at nightclubs?"

" _How were you planning to get home?_ "

"Um… um…" Damnit, why can't I think of my friend's name?

" _I can be there in 15 minutes. Don't go anywhere._ " And he hangs up before I can tell him I've remembered her name is Angela.

I go back to the group, or what's left of it. I think a couple of the girls are out on the dance floor. I down the yummy shot that Victoria ordered for me, and am licking my lips when I hear someone call my name.

I look up and there's Edward, dressed in khakis and a dark blue polo shirt, walking the last four feet toward our table. Standing, I take a few steps forward and throw my arms around his neck.

"Mmmm… I missed you," I moan as I breathe in his unique scent. Standing on my tiptoes, I crash my lips into his. He seems startled for a moment, but then he kisses me back until I'm breathless.

"Well, that was quite a welcome," he says in a low voice.

"Who's your… _friend_ , Bella?" Victoria calls, and I turn around, grinning hugely at the gang.

"This is Edward," I introduce him proudly. "Edward, this is… um…" One by one, they introduce themselves, saving me the trouble of remembering everyone's name.

"They're all so sweet," I gush to Edward, "Taking me out for dinner and dancing to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?" he asks.

"Bella got a promotion," Angela explains. See, _now_ I can think of her name!

"Mmmm… well, congratulations. I see they also decided to get you falling down drunk."

I laugh hysterically. "I haven't fallen down once!" I protest. Edward just shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he grins.

"Oh, let's dance!" I grab his arm, dragging him toward the dance floor, then throw my arms around his neck again, grinning at him as we start to sway to the music. And then my smile falls as I see the look on his face. He looks kind of… uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"What a way to introduce me to your friends."

My brow furrows. "Was I not supposed to?"

"No," he says, closing his eyes as he sighs. "I mean…" He opens his eyes again, a strange expression on his face. "It's just weird, is all. Being introduced like your boyfriend."

"I never called you that!"

"No, you didn't, but it's what they all assumed from the way you greeted me. I'm not used to it." He shakes his head. "Anyway, what made you decide to call me?"

I frown. "Everyone was talking about sex and it made me miss you."

Edward smirks, leaning down to kiss me. "So what do you want, Bella? You have to ask for it."

"I want you to fuck me!" I practically yell.

"Where?" he chuckles. "You'll probably have passed out by the time I get you home."

"I can't wait that long," I whine, pulling myself closer so that I can rub against him. "Why can't we have sex here?"

"Because this isn't _my_ club, and we'd end up in jail… unless you know of a place where we can get some privacy."

I stick my bottom lip out in a pout, but then I remember something I saw earlier while I was standing outside the bathrooms.

"Come with me!" I say excitedly, letting go of Edward's neck and taking him by the hand. I pull him off the dance floor and around the perimeter of the room until we reach the hallway. "Tada!" I point at the door between the men's room and the ladies' room.

"What is it?" Edward asks, a look of confusion on his face.

"It's a unisex stall, for those who are disabled or… whatever," I reply with a shrug. "This one probably won't have a line of angry people waiting if we go inside and lock the door."

A slow grin forms on his face as what I'm saying seems to sink in. "Go see if it's occupied," he suggests.

I open the door, quickly motioning for Edward to follow me inside as I flip on the light. It's just one large room, with a low toilet in the back corner. One of the two sinks is very low, for someone in a wheelchair, while the other is normal height. I hear him lock the door behind us, then suddenly his arms wrap around me from behind.

"We don't have a lot of time," he says, sucking on my earlobe. He tugs my top out of my skirt and begins pushing it up. I happily raise my arms so he can take it off.

Edward hangs my top from the paper towel holder, then turns me around and lifts me up onto the taller sink. His mouth claims my lips and I open for him with no hesitation. I feel him yank down the cup of my bra, his fingers tweaking my nipple.

"Are you wearing underwear?" he whispers.

"I went to work today — of course I am!"

"Take them off and pull your skirt up," he growls, helping me hop down from my perch.

While I'm taking care of that, I can see Edward opening his own pants and pulling them down. I hop back up onto the sink on my own, spreading my legs in invitation. Kissing me again, he brushes his fingers between my legs, pushing one long finger inside me.

"Feels like you're ready for me. Hang on tight, baby."

I cry out loudly when he buries himself inside me in one thrust, until he clamps his mouth over mine. He starts moving at a furious pace almost right away, holding tightly to my hips. I wrap my legs around him, just trying to keep from falling into the sink.

Finally he has to stop kissing me so that we can both breathe. I cling to his shoulders, panting and moaning as he continues to fuck me.

"You like this, don't you? You like knowing that anyone out in the hallway or in the other bathrooms can hear you like this?"

"I—I—" I can't even form a coherent thought anymore. "C-close…"

All of a sudden Edward yanks my head back by my hair, then leans down and begins sucking at my neck. He speeds up his pace and I shatter into a million pieces.

"Oh fuck," he groans. "Always so tight."

My eyes are still rolling back in my head when he suddenly pulls out. I open my eyes to see his hand moving furiously over his cock before spurts of creamy white liquid land on my thigh.

When it's all over, he takes a step back, running his hands through his hair until it's the absolute definition of sex hair. I sit frozen while he pulls his pants back up, then grabs a paper towel and starts wiping me off.

"Can't have you making a mess in my car," he grins.

After tossing the mess, he puts his hands on my waist, kisses me softly, and then helps me down. I hurriedly pick up my panties and begin putting myself back together.

"We'd better hurry," Edward says as he hands me my shirt, "In case someone needs to come in here. I'll take you home then."

I quickly wash my hands as I check my appearance in the mirror, deciding it's _good enough_ , then open the door and peek out. "Coast is clear," I whisper with a giggle.

Edward wraps his arm around me as we head back toward the dance floor and tables. I see Angela dancing with Victoria and wave at them. "Edward is taking me home," I announce with a big smile.

Shaking his head, he leads me toward the front entrance and outside into the drizzle. He helps me into his Volvo then walks around to the driver's side.

"Buckle up, baby," he says to me. I try and fail to put the seatbelt together until finally Edward does it for me, smirking the entire time. "See you in the morning."

"What?"

He laughs. "You'll be out before I'm halfway to your apartment."

* * *

When I open my eyes, I'm momentarily confused as to where I am. It looks like… my own bed? I lift the covers, shocked to see that I'm naked — well, except for my panties.

"Don't worry, I didn't molest you in your sleep. I just made you more comfortable."

I look up at the sound of Edward's voice, noticing him standing in the doorway from the bathroom, wearing only his boxer briefs. He's holding a glass of water in his hand.

"I imagine you have quite the headache," he says, handing me two pills as I sit up slightly. I place them in my mouth then take a sip from the glass.

"Thanks," I tell him, my voice raspy. "Um, I need to pee."

I quickly clamber out of bed and into the bathroom. When I'm finished, I wash my hands then decide to brush my teeth, since my mouth tastes awful.

When I come back out, Edward is sitting on the edge of bed. He beckons to me and I slowly walk over toward him. Once I've reached him, he reaches out to grasp my waist.

"I know just the thing for your hangover," he announces.

"Greasy food?"

"Maybe later, but I think orgasms work even better. Go lie down," he directs, motioning with his head. I waste no time getting into place. "You can choose… do you want my fingers, my tongue or my cock?"

I laugh — it's like choosing between my three favorite flavors of ice cream. "I'd take all three, but I think I need something with the least amount of jostling, so… tongue?"

"As you wish."

* * *

Sometime later, I'm lying sleepy and sated in Edward's arms. "Are you feeling better?" he asks quietly.

I look up at him, seeing him smiling tenderly at me. "Yeah," I tell him honestly. "Thank you. I, um, I hope I didn't take you away from anything last night…?" I mean, what if he was at the club, or naked with Tanya?

"Nothing important," he assures me. "I had dinner with the other psychologists in the practice since I've just completed my 60-day probationary period. I'd only been home about 10 minutes when you called."

"Good," I breathe.

"I'm glad you took the initiative and called me."

"Even if I did it because I was drunk?"

Edward smiles at me, stroking my cheek. "Even then. You were quite clear about what you needed."

"Ugh." I cringe. "I hope I didn't say or do anything too embarrassing."

"You didn't," he assures me.

"You, um… I made you uncomfortable when I outed us to my friends," I state nervously.

Edward sighs, running his hand through his hair. "Tanya's family knows me as her boyfriend, but… I could probably count on one hand the number of women I've been with more than once in the past dozen or so years. I certainly haven't met any of their families or friends." He closes his eyes, sighing. "You're different, you know," he says softly. "I like you, Bella. But…"

"But it's just a sexual relationship." I don't know whether to feel good because he's saying I'm somehow different, or to feel bad because he's only interested in me for sex.

"I'd like to think we're also friends. On that note… do you need me to drive you to pick up your car?" he asks.

"Oh—no. It's here. Angela took me to work yesterday and was planning to drive me home last night. I, um, couldn't remember her name when I was talking to you on the phone," I chuckle.

He smiles, leaning down to kiss me gently. "In that case, I should probably be getting home, so I can actually shower and change before work. My first appointment is at 11."

"Oh," I frown. "All right." I was kind of enjoying just spending the day in bed with him. I reluctantly roll away so he can sit up, then fold my hands under my head as I watch the magnificent sight of Edward getting dressed.

"Get yourself a cheeseburger for dinner," he suggests with a wink.

"Ugh… after all of the calories I consumed last night, I need to diet for the next month."

Once he's slipped his shoes on, he walks back over to the bed, leaning down to kiss me goodbye. "Go back to sleep for a few more hours. I'll see you soon."

I watch him walk out of my bedroom, then stretch and make myself comfortable, though my mind won't shut down. Given what Edward said about me being different, I wonder… if there were no Tanya, would he want to be _my_ boyfriend?

* * *

 **A/N:** Bella took the initiative and called Edward, even if she was drunk and lonely and horny. Is it a surprise that he came running? And who wants Edward to help with _your_ next hangover?

Edward was a bit uncomfortable with meeting Bella's friends. And they've been upgraded from fuck buddies (though that's only ever been Bella's term) to friends with benefits. Baby steps…

Yesterday (June 20) was canon Edward's birthday, and Friday's chapter will be my Edward's birthday!

 **Next chapter's title:** Very, very tough to guess before you read the chapter. It's a fairly well-known New Wave song from the mid 80s that never cracked the Hot 100. I believe the title isn't included anywhere in the lyrics of the song.


	15. Bizarre Love Triangle

**Author Note:** Thanks to everyone who's taking a chance on this story! Most of you still think Bella is headed for a heartbreak. (Hey, that's a Winger song!)

Congrats to **2loveybunnies** , **shaz308** , **Felicia123** , **MIRosebud** , **garddita17** , and **libbyg1980** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by New Order. Also **DamnPrecious0329** got the right band, wrong song. There was a shockingly high success rate among reviewers who actually made a guess!

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 15 – Bizarre Love Triangle_

 _June 2015_

I dread going back to work the following Monday. I just know I'm going to be facing a lot of questions about Edward — who he is and who he is _to me_. I've got my answers ready though, planning to give out as little information as I can.

Sure enough, pretty much the moment I step into my cubicle, Angela is on her feet. "Coffee, now!"

Angela and most of the others who were there on Friday night follow me into our kitchen area. One of our male coworkers is already there, getting himself a cup of coffee, and once he's gone, they turn to me.

"Spill it, Swan," Kate orders. "How long have you been seeing that gorgeous hunk of man meat?"

"About six weeks," I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant.

"And why haven't we heard of him before?" Angela asks, eyebrow raised.

"It's… it's still early!" I protest. "I don't… really know where it's going." _Understatement._

"Hmmm… what does he do for a living?" she asks.

"Um, he's a psychologist. Are we done with playing twenty questions now?" I whine.

"Just one more," Victoria says, smiling an especially evil-looking grin. "Why were you so quiet Friday night? Nothing to tell us about, or… nothing to brag about?"

"Maybe I didn't _want_ to brag and make you all envious," I reply back with an evil grin of my own.

"Oooh…" they all chant in unison.

* * *

Two weeks later is the annual Seattle Actuarial Club golf tournament, the most popular of their handful of social events. Actuaries are competitive by nature, and many of them enjoy golf. Not me though; I've never even been on a "real" golf course.

And while I decline to join one of the foursomes for the best-ball scramble, I do show up for the post-tournament happy hour at the clubhouse. I'm fully expecting Tanya to be there, and I'm prepared for it if she tries to talk to me… I think.

I'm scoping out the appetizers shortly after my arrival when Tanya finds me. "Hi, Bella," she greets me with a friendly smile. "Did you play this afternoon?"

"Hi, and no, I didn't play. Miniature golf is more my speed." I look her up and down, noticing her company-logo polo shirt and khaki shorts, which show off her long tanned legs. "I assume you did participate?"

"Yes," she answers. "Confidentially, I don't really care for chasing a little white ball around in the grass, but… it's good for my career." She shrugs, smiling again.

"Yeah, I sometimes think I _should_ play for that same reason, but gosh, it just seems like it would take a _lot_ of practice to get good at it."

"It does," she confirms. "I took lessons about 10 years ago. Oh, I heard you got a promotion — congratulations!"

"Um, thanks," I reply apprehensively. The only way she could've heard that is from Edward since I never updated my LinkedIn profile.

"Could I talk to you about something? Maybe we could go out on the patio."

"Um, sure." I follow Tanya outside, wondering if she's going to tell me to stay the fuck away from her boyfriend. But then, she seemed genuine when she congratulated me on my promotion.

"Are you busy Saturday night?" she asks once we're outside.

Well, that was not the question I was expecting. "This coming Saturday?"

"Yes, the 20th."

"No, why?"

"It's Edward's birthday," she smiles. "He's a big fan of nice steakhouses, but I'm a vegetarian, so that's not something I'm usually up for. But since it's his day and all, I'm planning to take him out to dinner at the Capital Grille. I wondered if you'd like to come with us?"

I stare at Tanya open-mouthed for longer than what is probably socially acceptable. "Come with you… on your date?" I finally choke out.

"Yes," she chuckles. "If you call it a date. I just call it dinner."

I stare at her for a moment longer. "Well… I guess I could come. I mean, I'm not doing anything else that night. Can I ask, um, how old will he be?"

"Thirty-five," she answers, and my eyes widen.

"Oh… I'd actually thought he was a few years older than that. I really do suck at guessing ages," I laugh.

Tanya smiles. "I think Edward kind of gives off this vibe like he's seen and done it all, so you assume he has to be older."

"Maybe that's it," I agree.

"And then… after dinner, maybe you could join us at the house?" She raises an eyebrow, as if I couldn't guess what she's getting at.

"You want me to…"

"I figured we could indulge one of Edward's fantasies for his birthday."

"Fantasies?" I whisper.

"Just so we're clear, I won't touch you without your permission," she assures me. "But I figured we could double team him again, and then let him choose what else he wants. My guess is he'll want us both at once," she adds with a chuckle.

"Is that possible?" I gasp, making Tanya laugh heartily.

"I meant, one of us can have his cock and the other his hands and tongue. Trust me, he'll be in heaven."

A threesome with her boyfriend, that's what she's offering. If I'm being honest with myself, the idea is kind of intriguing. I didn't mind — and even kind of liked — Tanya's presence the first time we met, though much of the time, Edward was making me feel so good that I hardly even noticed her.

Despite his "see you soon" comment, I haven't heard from Edward since he left my apartment over two weeks ago, and though I'd have to share him with Tanya, I _would_ like to see him.

"What do you think, Bella?" Tanya prompts when I don't answer.

"I—OK… to everything."

"Great," she beams. "I'm sure we can give him a birthday he'll never forget. I'll make the reservations for three then and text you the time, all right?"

* * *

Tanya has made 7:30pm reservations at the Capital Grille. I put on my nicest date outfit and arrive a few minutes early, taking a seat in their waiting area until Edward and Tanya arrive. She was planning to surprise him and not let him know in advance that I'd be joining them.

My heart pounding, I stand up when I see them step through the door. While Tanya walks up to the hostess, Edward notices me right away. "Bella! What are you doing here?"

I take a few steps closer to him. "I'm joining you for dinner," I reply with a small smile. "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," he says almost shyly, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Right this way," the hostess says, and the three of us follow her to a table for four. There is one chair on each side of the square table, so Tanya sits to Edward's right and I choose the seat to his left. That's fair, right?

Tanya immediately picks up the wine menu to look over. "We should split a bottle of wine," she suggests. "Cabernet sauvignon?"

"Do you like red wine, Bella?" Edward asks.

"No," I reply, wrinkling my nose. "But you two go ahead. I know you're supposed to drink red with steak."

By the time the waiter has brought our drinks — I chose a glass of Riesling — we're ready to order our meals. I feel bad for Tanya, since every last one of the appetizers includes either meat or fish. She eventually orders just a bowl of soup and a salad. I get the scallops, while Edward orders a large bone-in ribeye. He and I decide to split a side, making sure to choose one without meat or seafood so that Tanya can share it as well. I understand now why she rarely eats at steakhouses with him.

"So when did you two plan this?" Edward asks curiously.

"We ran into each other at the happy hour after the Seattle Actuarial Club golf tournament this week," I explain.

"Ah. Do you golf?"

"No," I chuckle. "Though I know it would be good for my career."

"What type of work do you do, Bella?" Tanya asks.

I launch into an explanation for her, and then ask her about consulting. It's something I've thought about doing one day, but definitely not while I was still taking exams. Tanya's career actually sounds very interesting, and by the time our discussion ends, our dinner has arrived.

Again I feel bad for Tanya with just a soup and salad, while Edward and I enjoy our decadent meals, but I suppose she is the one who chose to become a vegetarian.

"Could I interest anyone in some dessert?" our waiter asks as he clears our plates. "We have delicious crème brulée, or warm chocolate cake. I can bring you a dessert menu if you'd like."

"No, thank you," Tanya speaks up. "We'll be having dessert at home."

"Oh my God, I can't believe you said that!" I exclaim once he's walked away.

Tanya's eyes widen for a moment and then she laughs. "I _was_ actually speaking of something sweet, but I like the way you think." She winks at me, and I can feel my face heating up.

"Wait," Edward says suddenly, turning to me. "You're coming home with us?"

"Yes," I confirm quietly. "If you want me to, that is." A slow smile spreads across his face and I know that's my answer.

Tanya and I split the check, and then the three of us step outside. "You have our address, right?" she asks me.

"Yep, already programmed into my phone."

* * *

I pull into Tanya's driveway behind Edward's Volvo, then follow them into the house through the garage. She instructs us to sit at the kitchen table, then pulls a large bag out of the fridge, setting it in front of Edward.

He gives her a curious look as he pulls a large square box out of the bag, and then his face lights up.

"What is it, Edward?"

"Eli's Cheesecake," he says, tilting the box so that I can see it.

"The only thing he misses about Chicago," Tanya laughs from across the room. "I had that shipped here." She comes back over to us carrying plates, forks, a serving knife and one candle.

The cheesecake turns out to be some sort of sampler, with four slices each of four different flavors. I choose strawberry, really hoping Tanya doesn't intend for us to finish the entire thing tonight. She places the candle in Edward's piece and lights it, then the two of us sing "Happy Birthday" to him before he blows it out.

"What do you think?" she asks after I've taken a few bites.

"This may even be better than the Cheesecake Factory!"

She grins, enjoying her piece of plain cheesecake. Of course she wouldn't consume any more calories than necessary — even if we will probably work them all off tonight.

 _Oh God._ Up until that errant thought, I'd been doing a fairly good job of _not_ thinking about what's to come later tonight. Now I'm both anxious and a little scared, though it is Edward, and I've enjoyed everything we've done together up until this point.

"So," Tanya begins, standing up, "I think we need a little more alcohol to kick this night off. Since you like sweet wines, Bella, have you ever tried ice wine? I've got a bottle that was a gift from a client. It should be perfect after that cheesecake."

"No, I haven't," I reply. "I saw it on a menu somewhere once when I was attending an SOA meeting, but it was $25 a glass!"

Tanya finds the bottle and pours each of us a glass of ice wine. I lift the glass to my nose and sniff — it reminds me of moscato, so I'm sure I'll like it. Taking a small sip, I immediately wish it had been a larger sip. It's very good.

"Another glass?" Tanya asks once mine is empty. "Or…"

I can understand myself wanting a little liquid courage for tonight but I don't want to be drunk, so I decline. Edward gets up to grab a bottle of beer out of the fridge though.

"So what's the plan?" he asks.

"Well," Tanya begins, "I figured Bella and I could make you feel special on your birthday, and then… we'll go from there. Your night, your fantasies." I watch the ways his eyes light up — this was definitely the best gift she could've gotten him.

Once he's done with his beer, we move into the master bedroom. It's a huge room, full of calming colors, and anchored by a king-sized bed in the center of the room.

Edward pulls me close to kiss me and I happily kiss him back, not even thinking about Tanya, but when he's done with me, he pulls her in close and kisses her just as passionately.

"Help me with his clothes, Bella," she suggests once he's let her go. While she loosens his tie, I begin working on the buttons of his long-sleeved shirt. Together, we slide his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, and I follow her lead in tweaking one of his nipples.

Edward grasps the back of my neck, kissing me again while Tanya starts opening his pants. She tugs them down and I immediately bring my hand down, brushing over his fabric-covered erection. I help Tanya remove his underwear, then his socks, and together we lead him over toward the bed. He lies down in the center, a silly grin on his face.

Still fully clothed, I climb onto the bed on his left side while Tanya takes his right. He kisses me first and when he turns to her, I begin trailing kisses down his neck to his chest. I bite a nipple gently, watching as Tanya begins pumping his cock with her hand.

"How are you doing, Edward?" she asks and he moans in contentment.

Together, we lick and suck our way down his torso until we reach his cock. I suck the head into my mouth, then sit back and watch in awe as she deep throats. While she sucks him in deep, I take one of his balls into my mouth and then the other.

"Oh fuck, this is amazing," he groans.

Tanya pulls her mouth off and we both lick up the sides of his cock, alternating which of us takes him in her mouth, time and time again. He's breathing heavily now, lightly thrusting up off the bed, and I imagine he's getting close. I don't know if she intends to finish him off this way or not, but we've got all night for more rounds.

Edward moans loudly and Tanya motions for me to move back to his balls while she sucks him in deep again. "Oh… oh fuck… oh fuck…" he chants, before erupting into her mouth.

I sit back while she licks him clean, watching the blissed-out look on Edward's face.

"Come here, baby," he encourages when he sees me watching him, and I come back to his mouth, tangling my tongue with his while he holds me close with his hand on the back of my head.

While we're kissing, Tanya disappears from the room, returning in less than a minute with three bottles of water. I thank her, then take a long sip of mine.

"Every man should experience that at least once in his life," Edward declares as he sits up on the bed to take a sip. I laugh at him, because he still seems to be in a post-orgasmic haze.

"You're in control now, Edward," Tanya says. "What do you want to do with us?"

* * *

 **A/N:** A reminder that this is  not a poly story.

Many of you had been wondering what Tanya thinks of the time Edward has been spending with Bella. As you can see, she's not bothered at all.

How much more do you think the old man is up for? ;)

 **Next chapter's title:** No hints from me since the characters already gave you one.


	16. Control

**Author Note:** Here's an early update as a thank you to everyone who's sticking with this story! (And also it's highly likely that I'll have plans Tuesday night and not get home until late.)

Apparently I need to clarify that by "not a poly fic" I mean that Tanya is not sticking around forever. I was trying to reassure you all, not get into a debate about the definition of polyamory.

Congrats to **Savage Rob** , **shaz308** , **Lotus11** , **Capricorn75** , **LSU15** , **MIRosebud** , **krazi4TwiSaga** , **Lilibet68** , **anitabonita2413** , **Bevey99** , **Tay240** , **2loveybunnies** , and **EAMCSquared** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Janet Jackson. It was almost too obvious, huh?

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

 **The middle third is safe for those who don't want to read much with Tanya.**

* * *

 _Chapter 16 – Control_

" _You're in control now, Edward," Tanya says. "What do you want to do with us?"_

He grins, leaning in to kiss first Tanya and then me. "The first thing I want is for you two to take off your clothes."

Nervously, I turn around so that he can unzip my dress for me. I stand up, waiting for him to do the same for Tanya, before I let my dress drop to the floor. I slip my shoes off while she removes her dress, then unhook my bra, staring into his hungry eyes as I pull the straps down my arms.

I wait for Tanya to remove her bra then kneel on the bed, kissing Edward while he pulls and tweaks my right nipple until it's almost painfully hard. He turns to Tanya then before putting one hand on each of our breasts. I wonder what he's thinking, with my B-cup in his left hand and her… enhanced Double-D in his other.

Suddenly, he smirks, lying back on the bed and crossing his arms beneath his head. "Will you touch each other?"

Tanya looks at me, raising an eyebrow, and I tentatively nod. Slowly, she reaches her hands out over Edward's body and cups my breasts. "Is this what you wanted to see, Edward?" she asks.

"Mmmm… yes."

She brushes her thumbs over my already hard nipples and I have to admit that it feels good, no matter that it's a woman touching me. I'm insanely curious about what her implants feel like, so I reach my hands out to touch her breasts.

They feel… different. Firmer to the touch, not so soft and pliant. And they're heavy, though that may be more from their size than what they're made of.

Edward crooks his finger for us to come closer, so we each drop our hands, leaning toward him. He grabs one each of our breasts in his hands, then brings mine closer to his mouth. I whimper at the feel of it, then whimper again when he lets me go to suck on Tanya's.

"Definitely variety," he winks, switching back and forth between us until I feel like I may go mad. He lies back suddenly, a bit of a shit-eating grin on his face. "Take your underwear off now."

I slip off the bed and pull my panties down, then retake my spot on my knees, shortly before Tanya does the same. He reaches out again, brushing one hand between my legs and one between hers. "Two girls wet for me… how lucky can a guy get?"

His fingers gently probe and rub, and I want to scream at him to speed things up. I take a peek over my shoulder and notice his cock seems to be growing, though it's not totally hard yet. He does appear to have an impressive recovery time for a 35-year-old man, though.

"Play with your tits," he directs, and I don't hesitate to bring my hands up to my breasts as I spread my legs a bit more. His fingers are still between my legs, pumping slowly in and out of me. If he keeps this up long enough, I may be able to come just from this.

"Looks like someone's ready to go again," Tanya says, and I look back over my shoulder once more to see her stroking his hard cock in her hand.

"Mmm… I can have whatever I want?" he asks with a grin. "I want Bella to ride me."

My eyes widen a bit, but it's been a few weeks since I've had his cock, and I definitely want it before the night is through. He stops the movement of his fingers between my legs and I scoot back, then position myself over his cock, and keeping eye contact with him, slowly slide down.

"He has a nice big cock, doesn't he?" Tanya coos. "The look on your face as you take him in is pure pleasure."

"It is the perfect cock," I admit, as I slowly start to move over him, trying not to be self-conscious with Tanya watching. Edward finally removes his right hand from her, then licks the fingers of both hands. He thrusts up into me a few times, then pulls on her left leg until she lifts it over his chest. She backs up until she's hovering over his face, then whimpers loudly when he presumably touches her with his tongue.

Tanya brings her hands up to her breasts again, smiling at me as she moans with pleasure. It's a little weird staring at each other while we're both taking pleasure from his body, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"Fuck, he's got a talented tongue," she says after a few minutes of this. "I can't decide which I like better — his tongue or his cock. What do you think, Bella?"

"I like them both," I admit honestly, moving myself faster on his cock as I chase my orgasm.

"Should we switch so we can each make an educated decision?" she suggests.

Laughing, I lift myself up and off his cock, feeling the loss immediately. I scoot up the bed on my knees while Tanya moves to take my place.

Edward is grinning up at me when I reach him. "Having fun?" I ask him.

"What's not to like? Come here, Bella."

I decide to face away from Tanya, so that I can hold on to the headboard for balance. If he's going to make me come like this, I'm going to need the support.

Edward wraps his arms around my hips, pulling me down so that he can reach me with his tongue. "Oh fuck," I moan.

I hear Tanya moaning behind me and look over my shoulder to see her bouncing on his cock. "I think… I prefer his cock," she pants.

He's doing a pretty good job with his tongue though. I get over my embarrassment and start riding his face, taking what I need as I climb higher and higher. When I shatter, it's going to be mind-blowing, I know it.

"Oh God, so close," I groan and I feel him redouble his efforts. I scream as I come, but he doesn't stop until I finally lift myself off of him. Turning around, I sit on the bed watching for a few moments as he fucks Tanya until she's crying out loudly.

She lifts up and off just before several long spurts of cum shoot onto his stomach. It's kind of mesmerizing to watch. We all catch our breath for several moments before Edward chuckles, sitting up slowly.

"I need a quick shower," he says, blowing out a breath as he stands and heads into the bathroom.

"Did you bring an overnight bag like I suggested, Bella?" Tanya asks. "I thought I saw you bring something in."

"Um, I did, if-if you're sure you want me to stay."

"I think Edward would love it if you stayed," she replies with a smile.

I get up for my bag, then move into the guest bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and hair. Noticing various men's toiletries on the counter, I realize Edward must typically use this bathroom to get ready instead of the master.

I come back to the master bedroom just as a very naked Edward steps out of the bathroom and Tanya goes in. He lies down on the bed and I curl up with him.

"You OK?" he asks. I nod and we trade soft kisses until Tanya is finally finished. She turns out the lights then joins us, curling up on his other side.

For tonight, he belongs to both of us.

* * *

I'm awakened by soft kisses on the side of my neck. "Bella," Edward whispers. His hand is on my breast as he spoons behind me. "Are you awake?"

"I am now," I whisper back, though I'm not upset about it — not if he wants what I think he wants.

"C'mere," he mumbles, and I turn my head so that he can kiss me. His hand leaves my breast and trails down my stomach until he brushes his fingers between my legs. It doesn't take long for his ministrations to get me wet and needy for him.

"Lift your leg," he directs and I eagerly comply. I feel him place his cock at my entrance and he slides it inside, hooking my leg behind his.

Edward resumes kissing me while he fucks me slowly, unhurriedly. He can't get very deep from this angle, but his cock is hitting just the right spot, and his fingers are circling my clit again.

"How many times do you think I can make you come?" he whispers, his lips brushing against mine with every word.

"Depends on how long you can last," I tease him.

"Mmmm… I love a challenge."

Between his lips, his fingers and his cock, it's not long before I'm shuddering through an intense climax. Edward lets me ride it out for a few moments then pulls out, rolling me onto my back. He climbs on top of me and is back inside me within seconds.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he whispers. He grabs my hands in his and I close my eyes, just concentrating on the feel of him inside me.

"Looks like you guys started the party without me," Tanya says sleepily. I open my eyes to see her lying on her side watching us. I'd completely forgotten about her!

"Do you want in?" Edward asks. No! I'd rather keep him all to myself.

"No," she yawns. "I'll just watch." _Yes!_

"Turn on the light so you can see us better. Bella likes to be watched, don't you, baby?" He pulls at my bottom lip with his teeth, leaving me unable to respond, but I'm sure he can tell that the idea is turning me on.

Tanya flips on the light on the bedside table, then rolls back over, watching intently as Edward begins sucking on my nipples. I arch my back to get closer to him, feeling another orgasm begin to build. He speeds up the pace of his thrusts until I'm moaning like a porn star.

"Tell her… how beautiful… she looks… Tan," he pants.

"Fucking gorgeous. Your skin is flushed and I just want to suck on those dark red nipples myself."

"Oh… oh God… oh God… Ed-Edward!" I scream as I see stars and white light and every other cliché.

"Fuck, yeah," he growls, suddenly sitting back and pulling me with him onto his lap. I cling to his shoulders in exhaustion as he moves me up and down his cock. "Give me one more, baby."

"I can't!" I wail.

"Yes, you can!"

He continues sliding me up and down just the way he wants until he pauses, as if he needs to catch his breath. When he starts moving us again, it's slow and sensual. I stare into his eyes and he smiles at me between his heavy breaths.

I expect him to pick up the pace again at any moment, but he doesn't. And I'm caught completely off guard when I feel another orgasm building.

"That's it, baby," he encourages. "Just let go. I want to feel you come all over my cock."

"Edward…" I moan.

"That's right… has any other man ever fucked you like this?"

"No," I admit. "Only… only… oh God!"

"That's it… fuck! Oh my God, you're so tight!" he yells before he freezes, spilling inside me and prolonging my own orgasm.

I lean my head against his chest as he hugs me to him. It feels so incredibly intimate, like we just shared something amazing together. Finally I feel him place a light kiss on my forehead then pull away.

"You two are so hot, I almost came just from watching you!" Tanya exclaims.

It's like a bucket of cold water, realizing that his _girlfriend_ just watched something so intimate. I slowly lift myself off his cock then flop backwards onto the bed, exhausted.

"We need to clean you up," Edward says quietly.

"I'll get it," Tanya speaks up. "I don't know if either of you can stand." He chuckles, scrubbing his hands over his face as she climbs off the bed.

"Sit up a bit," he directs as Tanya returns with a wet washcloth. He takes it from her, and I can tell he's trying to be gentle, but my pussy is more than a little sore after that show of stamina.

As we curl up under the covers, he spoons behind me again, kissing my shoulder softly. I half expected him to cuddle up with Tanya this time, but I'm happier than I should be that he chooses not to.

* * *

"Come on, sleepyhead! I know it's not my birthday anymore, but I have one more fantasy to indulge."

I crack one eye open, staring up at Edward's eager face.

"What's that?" I rasp.

"Showering with two beautiful women."

I groan… yeah, not up for more sex right now. Not even his tongue. I do have to pee though, so I crawl out of bed and head into the guest bathroom to take care of that and brush my teeth. I most definitely need a shower, so I might as well indulge him… but I'm not having sex.

When I come back with a fresh set of clothes, Edward tosses them onto the bed, then takes my hand, leading me into the master bathroom. Tanya is already in there and has turned the water on; she just seems to be waiting for it to heat up.

"Good morning, Bella," she smiles.

The shower is huge, reminding me of the nicest hotel I've ever stayed at — definitely room for three. Once we've all stepped inside, I reach for the body wash, but Edward grabs my hand. "Fun first," he says with a smile. He leans down to kiss Tanya quickly, then kisses me. She moves behind him, massaging his shoulders, while he stands under the shower head.

I look down and see that he's hard, so I decide to take care of his cock, since I'm not planning on having sex with him. I use my hand at first, until he mouths, 'Use your tongue.'

I kneel down, and after I've got him in my mouth, I look up at him, watching the pleasure on his face as Tanya steps around to bite at his nipples. The hand he has on her breast slides down until it's between her legs. When my knees start to hurt I stand up, kissing him again while my hand keeps moving over his cock.

Tanya steps away, turning around and bracing her hands on the wall as she sticks her ass out behind her. "Fuck me, Edward," she moans.

I guess that's my cue, so I drop his cock, watching as he settles in behind her, positioning his cock. I watch mesmerized as he slowly pushes inside her, making her moan with pleasure. It's the first time I've really watched Edward have sex with another woman since we first met — my back was mostly turned last night.

I'm honestly not jealous. I'm turned on by the sight of him, and part of me definitely wishes it was me he was fucking, but my poor pussy can't take that right now. Maybe I _could_ handle his tongue though…

I'm shocked when Edward turns and grasps the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss while he continues to have sex with Tanya. His thrusts are powerful, and despite his distraction with me, he's focused on making sure both of them find pleasure in the act.

Once Tanya has come, he thrusts a few more times then pulls out, spilling all over her back. He blows out a breath as he steps away, then kisses me again while Tanya starts washing up.

"You want my tongue?" he whispers.

"I don't know how we can do that in here," I chuckle, reaching for the body wash. He rolls his eyes but grabs the shampoo bottle.

Once we're all finished, we step out of the shower to dry off. I head into the bedroom for my panties when Edward stops me with an arm around my waist. "Now?" he asks.

"Rain check?"

"Sure, baby."

Tanya has a session with her personal trainer this morning, and I feel weird about sticking around her house without her, so I decide to leave at the same time.

"Thank you for joining us last night, Bella," she says, hugging me briefly. "You and Edward really are hot together."

I give her a small smile, my cheeks heating up. If I don't think too hard about the last 12 hours, it really was a lot of fun. Now to figure out what, if anything, I tell Jake.

* * *

 **A/N:** That conversation with Jake starts out the next chapter.

So Edward finally got his group shower. And a tiny bit of girl-on-girl action. The old man's still got it… as Bella's poor girly parts can attest.

 **Next chapter's title:** A #2 hit from the mid 80s by one of the many musical artists to die in 2016.

 **Chapters 17 and 18 kind of go together, so I'll post both this week.**


	17. The Heat Is On

**Author Note:** Thanks for keeping the faith! We're not even halfway through yet, so lots of time for people and things to change.

So some of you enjoyed the last chapter and thought it was hot, but there was also some pearl-clutching and slut-shaming over the casual sex. Many noticed the way Edward seemed to gravitate more toward Bella than Tanya.

Yes, they are not a good example for safe sex! Remember though that Tanya also had to be tested to join the lifestyle club, and any encounters there must be with a condom. She and Edward are comfortable not using condoms with each other.

Congrats to **EdwardsFirstKiss** , **2loveybunnies** , **MIRosebud** , **Capricorn75** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** and **LSU15** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Glenn Frey. Also **shaz308** got the right artist, wrong song.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 17 – The Heat Is On_

"So let me get this straight… you were on some weird-ass kind of double date, then went to Tanya's _house_ to fuck her boyfriend. With her."

"That… about sums it up," I concur. It took me three days to tell Jake _almost_ everything that happened Saturday night.

"Man," Jake chuckles. "And you really let Tanya touch your boobs?"

"I did indeed. If I wasn't looking at her, I'm not sure I would've known it was a woman touching me. That doesn't make me a lesbian, does it?"

He rolls his eyes. "No, I don't think that makes you a lesbian. Did you touch her boobs, too?"

"Yes… they felt really weird with the implants."

"Huh. Not sure I've ever touched implants," he comments.

"Since when have you touched _any_ boobs?"

"Some chick let me feel her up back in high school. I was trying to prove to myself that I liked boobs as much as dick."

I laugh at him. "And obviously you don't."

" _Obviously._ So is this gonna be a regular thing for you three? Maybe Edward would be interested in some kind of three-way relationship."

"I don't think so. I mean, if Edward is really only with her for 'mutually beneficial' reasons, why would he want to be with _two_ women like that?"

"You don't think he really likes you?" Jake asks, raising an eyebrow.

I shrug. I have sometimes wondered if he has any feelings for me besides friendship and sexual attraction. He's always so caring and affectionate, but… maybe that's just his personality.

"Man," he says again, shaking his head, "Who would've expected this from the girl who didn't lose her virginity until she was 23?"

I sigh, looking over at my friend. "You're judging me," I complain quietly.

"It's not judgment. Hell, I have sex with men and a huge chunk of this country thinks I'm going to hell for that. I'd never judge anyone for having consensual sex. It's just that you were always such a straight-arrow, cop's daughter."

"You said it yourself — cop's daughter. After Jasper got his girlfriend pregnant before they were out of high school, I'm lucky Charlie didn't put me in a chastity belt!" Jake laughs, and I glare at him. "It's not that I _wanted_ to wait that long to have sex; I just hadn't found the right person." Or _any_ man willing to give me the time of day.

"I can understand that, and this isn't me judging you, but… I'm not sure I understand why you think Edward _is_ the right person when he's all but told you he'll never commit to one woman."

"I guess… he's the right person for now," I explain softly. "I mean, when a hot sex god—"

"Pussy whisperer," Jake coughs, and I glare at him.

"When a hot sex god is offering me multiple orgasms, I'd be an idiot not to take advantage! It's not like I've met anyone else lately, Jake," I cry. "And don't say I spend too much time with Edward to look, because we don't see each other all _that_ often."

"How many other women do you think he's sleeping with besides you and Tanya?" Jake asks.

I swallow thickly. Now _that_ is the one question I've tried not to really think about. He's living with Tanya, so he's got easy access to sex pretty much any time she's not out of town. But what if he gets bored with that? I mean, he and Tanya joined a swingers club shortly after they arrived in Seattle. I'd be naïve to think they never go there together to swap partners. I'd be naïve to think I'm his only "other woman."

"I have no idea," I finally answer.

* * *

A few weeks later, I'm enjoying the unseasonably warm summer weather from a chair by the pool at my apartment complex, while I read a book on my Kindle. My phone beeps with a text message and I pick it up, expecting it to be from Jake.

 **My last appointment is over at 3. What are you doing this afternoon? - E**

 _Enjoying the sun out by the pool. Bring your swimsuit and come over_ , I text back with a smile. I still have that photo that Jake took of Edward by the hotel pool in California saved on my phone. I'd sure love to stare at that view in person.

I last saw Edward just before the holiday weekend, when he stopped by with Chinese takeout and then proceeded to collect on his rain check… multiple times.

Around 3:30, he shows up, walking toward me carrying what looks like a gym bag. I push my sunglasses up on top of my head, smiling up at him.

"Hey," he smiles, leaning down to kiss me briefly. "Do you mind if I go change in your apartment? I didn't want to drive over here in my bathing suit," he laughs.

"Oh, um, sure." I pick up my keys from my bag and hand them to him.

I hurriedly read the last page of the chapter I'm on, then shut down my Kindle. The chair next to me is vacant, so I scoot it a bit closer as I wait for Edward.

And when I see him round the corner, I can't help but stare. _Goddamn._

Once I've shaken myself out of my stupor, I smile at him, patting the chair next to me. Sitting down, he tosses my keys into my open bag, then grasps the back of my neck and pulls me in for a slightly not-polite-for-company kiss.

"Get up," he orders quietly.

"Why?"

"Because I want to look at you."

I'm a bit embarrassed, but I do it, feeling my face flush as he looks me up and down. I'm kind of glad I bought a new bikini earlier this summer. "Very nice," he comments.

I roll my eyes as I sit back down. "You've seen me naked."

"I know," he grins, "But sometimes it's even sexier to leave a bit to the imagination. Have you been sitting here all day?"

"Yeah, reading a book."

"You don't look like you've gone in the water at all," he comments.

"I haven't," I shake my head. "I, um, don't know how to swim." I can feel myself blushing again at my confession. People usually look at me like I have two heads when I tell them that.

"I could teach you. You know I'm a good teacher." He raises an eyebrow and the look on his face goes straight between my legs. Oh yes, I know all about the things Edward can teach me. "Come on." He stands up, holding out his hand to me.

Grabbing my bag and my towel, I take his hand and let him lead me over to the shallow end of the pool. He sits down on the edge then slides off into the water. I sit much more slowly, then stick a toe in the water.

"It's cold!" I yelp.

"It's refreshing," he argues. "You'll get used to it."

I'm skeptical, but I swing my legs around and into the water, immediately wanting to bring them back out. Only I can't, because Edward grabs my ankles to hold them in place. Spreading my legs, he steps closer then looks up at me, puckering his lips.

I oblige him with a kiss and suddenly he's pulling me into the water! "You tricked me!" Oh my God, this water is fucking cold. I know it's a heated pool, but it's still not that warm.

Edward laughs, seemingly more carefree than I've ever seen him. He's holding me tightly so I can't even try to get out of the water.

"Why can't you swim?" he asks.

"I never went to a swimming pool as a kid," I explain. "My dad's a cop and with three kids, we couldn't afford to go on lavish vacations and stay in nice hotels. We usually just went camping. The Pacific Ocean was about a half-hour drive away, but after some drunk teenager drowned while cliff diving in LaPush, he wouldn't let me or my brother and sister go near the ocean.

"Did your parents teach you?" I ask, before I realize that maybe I shouldn't ask about them.

He stiffens for a moment before shaking his head. "I learned at the Y," he says quietly.

"Forks is way too small to have a YMCA," I chuckle.

He smiles, then starts walking me away from the edge. "Let me teach you to swim."

And for the next two hours, he tries his best, and we have fun, but I just can't manage to put it all together.

"You are hopeless," he finally declares, brushing my wet hair out of my face.

"Thanks," I reply sarcastically.

Smiling, he leans down to kiss me. Without high heels to help even us out, I stand on my tiptoes, but it's still difficult. Finally Edward picks me up, holding me closer to his mouth with his hands on my ass.

"Get a room!" someone yells.

Embarrassed, I push on Edward's shoulder until he puts me down, then peek over my shoulder to see who yelled at us. I shake my head when I see my neighbor, the crazy 50-year-old woman with eight cats.

"Shall we?" he asks.

"Shall we what?"

"Get a room," he grins.

"No!" I protest. "It's… it's time for dinner, not… sex," I finish in a whisper.

"Appetizer," he winks, walking over to the edge. He heaves himself up onto the pool deck, then picks up my towel and stands. Shaking my head, I decide to use the ladder.

When I reach Edward, I take the towel from him. While I dry off, he grabs my bag for me, and I dig out my keys as we walk up the stairs to my apartment. I smell like chlorine, so I head straight to my bedroom to take a shower. He follows me into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around me from behind before I can turn on the water.

"Bella," he drawls, "Let me have you for an appetizer."

Without waiting for my answer, he slides his hands up to cup and knead my breasts, them brings them behind me and opens the top of my suit. After sliding my bottoms down, he spins me around then lifts me onto the edge of the vanity.

We kiss and kiss as his hands make one circuit after another between my knees and my breasts. I spread my legs but still he won't touch me where I'm needy for him. Finally he steps back, and my eyes are drawn to the large bulge in his swimsuit.

"You want it?" he asks with a knowing grin.

"Yes," I readily admit… because I know he's not going to let me have his cock unless I admit it. I watch mesmerized, biting my lip as he pulls his suit down and his cock is revealed.

"Can you put your leg up?" he asks.

"On the counter?" He nods and I lift my left leg until my foot is resting on the counter.

"Very nice," he says, brushing his fingers over my newly hairless pussy — I got waxed earlier this week. "Watch, baby," he commands, then steps closer, placing his cock at my entrance.

I look down, fascinated, as he disappears inside me, so slowly that I feel like I might combust. We fit so perfectly together, like…

No, I need to stop that line of thinking.

I watch as Edward pulls out, then pushes back in again. His pace is maddeningly slow, but somehow this is just as hot as if we were fucking furiously. "You feel good," I moan.

In answer, he pulls all the way out, rubbing his cock against me, teasing. "Are you ready?" he asks, and I nod furiously, crying out when he thrusts inside hard. I moan and whimper as he works up to a fast pace, holding tightly to my hips.

"I'm g-gonna come," I moan, seconds before I explode with a loud cry. Edward thrusts erratically a few more times before he freezes inside me.

Grinning, he blows out a breath as he pulls out. "Definitely an appetizer."

I sit catching my breath as he turns on the water in the shower, then gingerly hop down to join him. We shower quickly then move into the bedroom to get dressed.

"So… go out for dinner or order in?" I ask, so I can decide what clothes to put on. And then I realize… "I mean, if you want to have dinner with me, that is."

Edward smiles, pecking my lips. "Out, I think. Can we get pizza or something? I can never convince Tanya to eat that," he adds, shaking his head.

"Not even veggie pizza?" I ask, digging through my closet. I finally pick out a denim mini skirt and one of my favorite tops.

"No." He rolls his eyes. "If she goes to a pizza place at all, she gets a salad."

"Well, she does have a great body—"

"Which she works hard for, I know. Still, life isn't worth living without pizza," he winks.

"So… what is Tanya doing tonight?" I ask as I slide my top over my head.

"She's out with a guy she met at the gym," he answers nonchalantly, as if it doesn't bother him at all.

I quickly blow dry my hair and we head out to my favorite pizza place, not far from my apartment. For the next hour, we chat and laugh and eat delicious pizza, and I find that I really enjoy Edward's company. He's intelligent and obviously well-read. Honestly, he's everything a woman could ask for in a man — if only he could be monogamous.

We're not far from a movie theater, so once we've finished eating, I ask him if he wants to go see a movie. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I start to regret them. Dinner and a movie is such a _date_ thing to do. I know we're not dating; we're just sharing dinner.

"Sure," he readily agrees, and I feel better that he doesn't seem bothered.

Edward drives us to the theater and we look up at the board showing the movies playing. "What do you want to see?" he asks.

"How about _Magic Mike XXL_?" I suggest cheekily. Angela and I saw the first _Magic Mike_ movie together a couple of years ago.

He grins at me. "Is that what you want? A guy who can dance like that."

"Maybe you can show me your best moves later," I wink at him. Nothing else actually sounds all that interesting, so he agrees to my choice.

As we take our seats in the darkened theater, it's pretty packed, though we manage to find seats in a nearly empty row. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved, because I wouldn't put it past Edward to try something sexual in the dark. But surely he'll behave himself with so many people around, won't he?

* * *

 **A/N:** I imagine most of you agree with Jake, though he couldn't convince Bella to stop what she's doing.

While Tanya was on a date with another man, Bella and Edward also had a sort-of-date, between swimming lessons, a casual dinner and a movie. And they got to know each other a bit better. Part 2 of their "date" coming up on the usual **Friday**! How many think Edward will actually behave himself at the theater?

 **Next chapter's title:** A #1 hit from yet another artist who died in 2016. Way too many of those recently.


	18. Let's Go Crazy

**Author Note:** Thanks for keeping the faith! We are taking baby steps, I promise!

I think these two reviews sum up the current thoughts: "Not a snowballs chance in hell is Edward going to behave himself in that movie theater!" "He's definitely not going to behave! I don't believe he even understands that concept. "

Congrats to **Orangemonkey36** , **ana1973** , **twifan7731** and **karo29** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Prince. Also **TwilightVirtuosa** , **Savage Rob** and **LSU15** got the right artist, wrong song. I get tons of Prince guesses for other chapters, and when I finally use one of his songs, everyone guesses David Bowie!

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 18 – Let's Go Crazy_

Edward keeps his left arm around me for much of the movie, while his right hand is on my thigh. I find it hard to concentrate on the action on the screen, wondering when or if he's going to make his move.

About an hour into the movie, he finally does.

Surrounded by people, he carefully pushes my skirt up a few inches, exposing more of my thighs, and then his fingers begin creeping underneath the material. For a long time, he just brushes them over my inner thigh, until I'm covered in goosebumps.

"Tell me to stop and I will."

"Don't stop," I whimper quietly.

I suck in a breath when I feel one finger brush lightly over my panties. ""You're wet for me, Bella," he whispers, nipping at my earlobe. He keeps up this exquisite light torture for several minutes, before finally, finally, sliding his finger under the elastic at the edge of my panties.

"You gotta keep quiet," he warns in a whisper, as his long finger begins its circuit between my entrance and my clit. I try to spread my legs to give him more room to maneuver, but it's difficult due to the constricting denim.

Edward places soft kisses along my neck while his fingers drive me crazy. I want so badly for him to just fuck me with them, but I know he can't really do much more than he is now without risking us getting caught.

I try to keep watching the sexy dancing and half-naked men on the screen while Edward's mouth and fingers never stop bringing me to the edge. As I get closer, I bite my lip, trying to keep from crying out. Due to the loud music, only those sitting right in front of us are likely to hear me, but still…

"That's it, my dirty girl," he whispers. "Letting someone finger you in a crowded movie theater." I whimper, feeling like I'm hanging on by a thread that could break at any moment. "Let me feel you come on my fingers."

My breathing is picking up and I'm so, so close. He presses down on my clit, smothering my moans with his mouth as I finally come.

I watch as he pulls his hand out from under my skirt, sucking his fingers into his mouth. "I'm gonna need that direct from the source later," he says, and I swallow thickly. Two weeks without Edward's tongue is two weeks too long.

I sit through the rest of the movie, feeling the dampness between my legs. I don't know why I find it so hot to do something like that when we could easily get caught. And we might get arrested, not just kicked out of the theater! My God, my cop father would have a fit if I got arrested for public indecency.

After the movie, I clean up in the ladies room and then Edward suggests that we go out for ice cream. This is feeling more and more like a date, but I don't mind if he doesn't. We find a place open late, each ordering a cone and taking them to sit at one of their outdoor tables.

"I-I've had fun today," I admit. This is probably the most time Edward and I have spent together… at least, without having sex. Though we did that before dinner.

"Me too," he smiles, "But the night isn't over yet." He takes a long, teasing lick of his ice cream cone which goes straight between my legs.

"You are so bad," I chuckle, but he just smiles back at me innocently.

"It's not _my_ fault your mind is in the gutter."

"No? After what you did to me back at the theater?"

"You loved every minute of that," he argues, and I have to admit that I did — even with, or maybe _because of_ , the risk of getting caught. "I see that look on your face."

I look up at him sharply, confused. "You're an exhibitionist, but it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I-I know," I reply quietly.

"I hope you really mean that. And I hope you're never ashamed of anything we do together, Bella. That's the last thing I would want."

I give him a small smile, turning back to my ice cream before it drips all over me. Once we've both finished our cones, we head back to my place. For a warm Saturday night, it's quiet around the complex as we walk up the stairs to my apartment.

"What time does the pool close?" Edward asks.

"Ten. Why?"

He shrugs as I stick my key in the door. "I just thought it might be nice to go sit in the hot tub."

"Well, we probably could, if we're quiet," I agree. "I hear parties down there past 10 o'clock most of the summer. In fact, I'm surprised there's no one down there now. As long as no one complains, we're fine."

"Let's do it," he grins.

We both change into our still-wet swimsuits then walk quietly down the stairs to the pool area. I drop our towels, then climb over the edge of the hot tub, sighing as I sink into the hot water.

"Where do you turn on the jets?" Edward asks.

"Over there," I point to it, "But we probably shouldn't. I mean, it's not exactly quiet."

"You can't sit in a hot tub without bubbles," he insists, hitting the button.

He comes to sit beside me, immediately pulling my legs up and across his lap. Grasping the back of my neck, he pulls me in for a kiss and I eagerly kiss him back. We make out for a while, until I feel his hand sliding the bra cup on my bathing suit top over.

"Edward!" I warn as his large hand cups my breast. He smiles at me, undaunted, as he goes back to kissing me. His fingers pull and tug at my nipple and desire rushes through me.

Suddenly, he pulls me closer, arranging me so that I'm straddling his lap. I can feel him hard beneath me and as he slides me back and forth, I realize he's not planning to go back to my apartment — he intends to have sex right out here in the open.

"Edward!" I warn again.

"Mmm?" he moans, sucking on my neck.

"You can't seriously intend to have sex in this hot tub."

"Are you gonna tell me you're not turned on by the idea?" he asks, lifting his head and raising an eyebrow.

"I—" No, I can't tell him that, because I _am_ , even though it's grounds for getting kicked out of my apartment if anyone catches us and reports it.

"You'll just have to be quiet," he murmurs, bringing his right hand down between my legs. "You proved you can be quiet earlier. Now stand up and take your bottoms off."

I stare at him, biting my lip. And then I look around for any signs of life. When I don't see any, I stand up and do as he says, setting them up on the ledge. Edward slides his own suit down, then encourages me to sit back on his lap again.

I sit on his thighs, stroking his hard cock with my hand a couple of times. This is crazy; it's insane to do this where we could easily get caught if someone else decides to go for a late-night swim. But it's also exciting and hot and I just know that it'll be epic.

Letting go of his cock, I lift myself up, then sink down on him, letting him fill me for the second time today. Bracing my hands on his shoulders, I begin to move myself over his cock — up and down and back and forth.

Edward leans down, sucking on my exposed nipple while his hands grasp my hips, helping me to move. The fact that we could get caught at any moment spurs me on, moving me quickly toward my orgasm.

And then I realize… he'll orgasm, too.

"You know," I pant, "You can't… come in the water." I have no idea how often they clean out the hot tub!

Edward lifts his head, smirking at me. "You got a better idea?" From the look he's giving me, I'm sure he's thinking he could come down my throat or something, but… not a chance. That one small taste I got of his semen in Florida was _nasty_. I don't know how Tanya can stand it.

"One of the towels," I suggest instead, and he nods his agreement.

He moves me faster and faster until I'm coming, burying my moans in his mouth.

"Fuck," he growls, quickly moving me off of him. Standing, he turns around and grabs a towel as his hand works furiously over his cock. I'm captivated by the look of pleasure on his face as he reaches his peak.

Dropping the soiled towel, he quickly pulls his suit back up and I realize that I should do the same. I slide my bottoms back on, then rearrange my top as Edward sits back down in the water. He pulls me close, hugging me to him, and we sit quietly for a few minutes, basking in the shared afterglow until the jets stop.

Nudging me, he gets up and I follow him out of the hot tub. I dry off quickly with the clean towel, then hold it out for Edward. We hurriedly make our way back to my apartment, jumping in the shower to wash the chlorine off.

Afterward, Edward refuses to let me put clothes on, dragging me over to my bed. "I don't believe I've had enough of worshipping your body today," he growls, spreading my legs.

 _Yes, please._

* * *

The first weekend in August is Angela's first wedding anniversary. She and Ben are planning a big party, a barbecue in their backyard, and I swear they've invited half the people that were at their wedding. I try to stealthily find out if anyone from out of town — say, _Paul_ , for example — is coming, and luckily for me, it appears that it'll only be locals.

Everyone is talking about it at work in the week leading up to the party, and while I'm excited to go, it sounds like I'm going to literally be the only person there without a date.

Unless Edward can come with me.

I know he sees patients on Saturdays, but he was done at three o'clock just a couple weeks ago. The party starts at two, but I'm sure most of the burgers and brats won't be served for at least a couple of hours after that.

Taking a deep breath, I text Edward and ask if he can attend the party with me. I make sure to point out that he's already met Angela at Club Twilight.

 **Sorry I can't** , is his reply back.

 _We can show up late, if you can make it once you're done working for the day._

 **I've got plans already. I'm sorry.**

 _Ok_ , I text back, my heart falling. I wonder if he's telling the truth and he really does have plans, or if he just doesn't want to meet and hang out with more of my friends. I remember how uncomfortable he seemed the last time.

But if he's not lying… does that mean he and Tanya are doing something together? Or maybe he's got plans with another woman? As much as I try not to, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of Edward with other women. I mean, I know he must have sex with Tanya regularly, but the idea of there being still _more_ women…

 _Stop it, Bella. You knew you couldn't be the only other woman he's fucking. You knew it._

Edward is not my boyfriend, I remind myself. He's just a guy I'm sleeping with whenever he feels like it. Maybe Jake is right about him having a sweet deal, but I don't think I can bring myself to end it.

* * *

On Saturday morning, I mix up a batch of German chocolate cookies, which are my contribution to the barbecue. Angela absolutely loves German chocolate cake, and even had it as one of the layers in her wedding cake last year.

I jump when I get a text message, hoping that it'll be from Edward, telling me he can make it after all. But it's only Jake, sending me a selfie of himself in front of one of the giraffes at the zoo. He's spending the day there with his boyfriend, Seth, whom he's been dating for almost five months now.

 _Finally something that makes you look short_ , I text back, then set my phone down with a sigh. Edward is not going to text me; I need to stop hoping for it before I make myself crazy.

After I've frosted the cookies and drizzled chocolate on top, I put them in the fridge so that the topping will harden while I get dressed and ready for the party.

Arriving at Angela and Ben's, I let myself in through the gate to the backyard, hearing the party already in full swing.

"Bella!" Angela calls, running up and hugging me briefly. Until she sees what it's my hands. "Oh my God, what are those?"

"Dessert," I chide her, slapping her hand away. "They're for later." She leads me over to a table where there's already a cake and a cherry pie, and I set the container down beside them.

"Where's Edward?" she asks curiously. "I told Ben he'd finally get a chance to meet this mysterious boyfriend of yours."

"He, um, couldn't make it," I reply quietly, hoping against hope that she won't ask more questions.

"Oh," she frowns. "Are you two still hot and heavy?"

"Nothing's changed," I hedge. "He already had plans for today though when I asked him about it."

"That's too bad. This would've been a great opportunity for him to meet everyone."

"Yeah," I murmur my agreement.

"Where did you meet him anyway? I know you said he's a psychologist, right?"

I nod, feeling a bit like a deer in headlights. _Shit_ , I really hadn't thought of a cover story for how I met Edward.

"We met through a mutual friend," I tell a half-truth.

"Not Jake!" she laughs, and I roll my eyes.

"No, not Jake. Jake and Edward… well, they aren't exactly chummy," I admit. "But you know Jake, no one is ever good enough for his best friend."

Angela smiles then excuses herself and rushes away, accepting a covered casserole dish from someone else. I look around the backyard at the couples scattered about, sighing. And then I stop feeling sorry for myself and walk over to join one of the groups.

* * *

 **A/N:** Yeah, he didn't behave in the theater… or in the hot tub.

So Bella isn't exactly having regrets, but she's perhaps starting to realize that this friends-with-benefits relationship isn't the ideal situation for her.

Poll! Do you think Edward turned Bella down because he has plans with Tanya? With another woman? Some other legitimate plans? Or does he just not want to hang out with Bella's friends and coworkers?

 **Next chapter's title:** This is a tough one… A 1989 Top 10 hit by a legendary male artist, co-written by another popular male artist of the 80s (whom I still hold a grudge against for beating out one of my favorite bands for a Grammy). Someone shock me and get it!


	19. The End of the Innocence

**Author Note:** Thanks for keeping the faith! You guys had a lot to say about the last chapter!

Responses to the poll question were all over the board. I think the majority feel that he may have had plans — potentially involving another woman — but probably wouldn't have been interested in attending the party with Bella anyway.

Congrats to **iliketorun** , **edwardcullenaddict** , **2loveybunnies** , **TLammy** , **MIRosebud** , **asam75** , **Capricorn75** , **sisteria27** , **blue022** , **Tay240** and **Bevey99** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Don Henley, co-written by Bruce Hornsby.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 19 – The End of the Innocence_

A week after Edward turned me down, he texts me and asks me to meet him at a gastropub in the Belltown area of downtown Seattle for dinner on Friday night. As I stare at the words on the screen, I think about turning _him_ down, but… I've never liked people who play games. And besides, I want to see him.

It's a bit of a drive for me from my job in Bellevue, but I'm sure he has his reasons for choosing it. And so I drive downtown after work, parking in the lot that he texted me, then walk the two blocks to the gastropub, where I find Edward waiting outside, looking as good as ever.

He smiles when I approach, pulling me in for a quick hug and kiss. "Interesting choice," I comment as we step inside the dark building, but he just smiles enigmatically.

Once we've placed our orders, Edward takes a sip of his wine then sits back, one finger idly tracing the top of his glass.

"So… Tanya and I have ended our relationship."

My entire body freezes at that bombshell, and I stare at him, slack-jawed. "You… you broke up?" He nods. "What happened?" I ask before I can stop myself.

He sighs. "Remember I mentioned that Tanya was going out with a guy she met at the gym? He's some big shot with Microsoft and… she thinks he might be 'the one.' Well, apparently he doesn't share."

"So… he asked her to break up with you?" I infer. I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised to hear that this break-up was Tanya's idea, given how much Edward seemed to be irritated by how high-maintenance she is, especially since they started living together. I wonder idly if she's kicked him out of her house, but decide not to ask.

"Yes," he nods. "She really wants to give things a chance with him."

Edward's hand is wrapped around the stem of his wine glass, and I instinctually reach out, placing my hand on his. "I'm sorry."

He stares at me for a minute, brow furrowed. "For what?"

"For your break-up! I mean, are you ok?" I ask gently.

"Sure," he shrugs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Now it's my turn to be confused. "Well… I mean, you and Tanya were together for… how many years?" I ask, once I realize I don't actually know.

"Three," he supplies.

"OK, you were together for three years, and… I mean, it's always sad when a relationship ends, but when you've invested so much time in it—"

"No, Bella," he interrupts, shaking his head. "You're acting like our relationship meant more than it did. We weren't in love, and I'm not heartbroken. I'm fine. Really."

I stare at him for several moments before deciding to take his word for it. "So you two are still friends?" I ask tentatively, still a little surprised by his laissez-faire attitude.

"We are," he concurs, taking a sip of his wine. "But I doubt her new boyfriend is going to let her talk to me often. I wish her well, though I have my doubts that she'll truly be able to be monogamous."

"Maybe she will… with the right man," I suggest.

Edward shakes his head. "It's not a matter of being with the right person. It's who you are on the inside and what you need in order to be happy. She craves variety as much as I do — maybe more."

Before I can reply, our waitress comes by to drop off our salads. I'm quiet as we eat, thinking about what Edward said — and what he didn't say. He still craves variety in his sexual relationships, that much is clear. He hasn't given any indication that he wants us to be more than we've been up until this point, now that Tanya is out of the picture, though I imagine he might call me more often now. Or maybe he'll embrace his single status and just have sex with a new woman every night.

"What's that frown?" Edward asks, and I look up at him in shock. I didn't realize my thoughts were so clear on my face. I don't want to ruin our night by telling him the whole truth though.

"I was just… wondering where this leaves us?" I hedge.

He stares back at me, blinking. "Why should it change things? You and I never had anything to do with my relationship with Tanya."

"I—I guess…" I stop, frowning. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm disappointed at the realization that he's not interested in a relationship with me, now that he's a single man. "Never mind."

"No, say what you were going to say, Bella."

"I thought maybe you'd want to see me more often now," I admit quietly — though I leave out any mention of a relationship, for fear of scaring him away.

Edward's eyes widen as he stares at me across the table. "Is that what _you_ want?"

"I… I guess… yes," I finally confess. I enjoy spending time with Edward, and while I think I'd like _more_ with him — more time is at least a start.

He tears at his hair, his eyes trained toward the ceiling, and my brow furrows. Either he wants to spend more time with me or he doesn't; it doesn't seem that difficult.

"OK," he finally agrees. "As long as you promise you won't get sick of me." He grins and I tentatively smile back.

Once we've finished eating, Edward leads me out of the pub. I'm curious as to what we're doing as we walk toward the water.

After a few blocks, he stops in front of a high-rise building, holding the door open for me. Inside the lobby, he nods to a doorman then leads me over to the elevators, swiping a badge. The doors open right away and as we step inside, he hits the button for the 11th floor.

As we ascend, I look at him questioningly and he smiles. "My loft in Chicago finally sold."

"So you're saying you bought a place _here_?" I question, and he nods with a wide smile.

"Wow!"

"Just moved in last weekend," he explains. And now I understand why he couldn't go with me to Angela's anniversary party. It wasn't the fact that he didn't want to meet my friends… or that he was busy with another woman.

Edward opens his front door with his key, motioning for me to go first. As I step inside, the first thing I notice is the amazing view from the floor-to-ceiling windows. I rush straight ahead, staring out at the view of Pike Place Market.

"There's a balcony, if you want to go outside." He opens the door for me and I step out, peering over the railing.

"This is totally cool," I gush, and he smiles almost shyly.

This is really an awesome place to live, if you can afford it. He must've done really well on the sale of his place in Chicago. We're only a few blocks from Pike Place Market in one direction and the Space Needle in another — everything that brings tourists to Seattle.

Back inside, I finally notice the beautiful hardwood floors and the fact that the far wall, behind the dining room table, is mirrored. The kitchen looks to have been recently updated, with light maple wood cabinets, dark granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.

"I'm surprised you have so much furniture already," I chuckle, looking around the room at the manly leather and wood furnishings.

"It's been in storage. Let me show you the bedroom," he suggests, leading me with his hand on my back. The master bedroom also features one wall of mirrors and floor-to-ceiling windows. The king-sized bed, covered with a masculine dark brown comforter, takes up most of the room. The master bathroom looks recently updated as well, with a large walk-in shower, granite counter and a super-cool tiled backsplash.

"Just the one bedroom?" I ask as we walk back into the living room.

"Yeah," he nods. "I couldn't afford a two-bedroom in this building. Um, it also has a rooftop terrace, a fitness room, indoor pool, spa, sauna, private garage… Everything anyone could want," he smiles.

"I like it a lot. It's probably smaller than my apartment, but it doesn't _seem_ small, you know? Especially with all of the windows and mirrors."

"I don't really need that much space just for me," he shrugs. "The view is what really sold me on it. And speaking of the view…"

Edward takes my hand, leading me over to the windows. "What do you see?" he whispers, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"I see Puget Sound, the Ferris wheel, the marina… other buildings," I list, not really sure what he's getting at.

"What would you say if I wanted to fuck you against the windows?"

My eyes widen. We're on the 11th floor, but there are other buildings at least this high up within a few blocks. And it's nearly sunset, so the lights are on. "Someone might see us!"

"Since when do you care?"

I turn around in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he leans down to kiss me softly. "Think of the possibilities, Bella," he says in his most seductive voice. "A wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, a wall of mirrors…"

"You picked this place just for the mirrors, didn't you?" I tease. But the truth is, I'm intrigued by the things he's suggesting.

"You should feel lucky I'm not suggesting we do it outside on the balcony," he says before kissing me again. I kiss him back and we're in full-on make-out mode in no time.

"Take your clothes off," he whispers between kisses.

"I can't with your hands all over me," I mumble, and he steps away, smiling as he begins unbuttoning his shirt. I pull my own shirt over my head, tossing it onto the dark brown leather sofa, then begin opening the jeans I wore for casual Friday.

Once he's stripped down to his underwear, Edward sits on the arm of the sofa, crooking his finger until I step closer. He unhooks my bra for me then leans down and takes my left nipple into his mouth. I close my eyes, just enjoying the feel of his mouth on me as he alternates between my breasts.

When he lets me go and stands up to remove his underwear, I do the same then let him walk me into the dining area. He turns me around until I'm facing the windows — and completely visible to anyone able to look in — then spreads my legs and places my hands on the cool glass.

"Look to your left," he whispers in my ear, and I swallow thickly at the sight in the mirror. I look so wanton, standing spread open for him. His hands are on my hips and his cock is hard as a rock and standing at attention, as if it's eager to get to me. "Do you want to watch me fuck you? Just like someone else might be watching us right now, eagerly waiting for the show to begin?"

I whimper, watching the smile on his face as he slides a finger along my lower lips. "Oh yeah, you want this." My breathing starts to pick up as he fingers me gently. "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"Fuck me, please!" I whimper.

"You can do better than that, Bella. Tell me what you want!" He slaps my ass cheek and I yelp in surprise, even though I could see it coming in the mirror.

"I want you to fuck me with that big cock!" I yell.

Edward laughs, then rubs his big cock against me. "OK, baby, I won't make you wait any more." He slides it inside me and I close my eyes as I concentrate on the feeling. "Open them," he orders. "Watch us."

And so I try my best to keep my eyes open as he begins to fuck me. He's holding tightly to my hips as he thrusts hard. As I watch in the mirror, I'm fascinated by the sight of my breasts moving back and forth from the force of his thrusts.

We make eye contact in the mirror and despite the position with him behind me, despite the circumstances, it still feels intimate to be doing this with him. One of his hands slides around my hip until he's circling my clit and I moan from the feeling.

"Am I gonna make you come, baby?"

"Y-yes," I moan. "Oh God, you feel good."

"Let me hear you!" he growls, while his hips never stop moving.

My orgasm is intense, waves of pleasure rushing through me again and again. I cry out loudly as my legs shake uncontrollably. If I wasn't braced on the windows, I'm not sure I'd be able to remain standing.

Edward doesn't even slow down, continuing his punishing pace the entire time, until I'm crying out for a second time.

"Fuck!" he yells, freezing as I feel him coming deep inside me. I watch him in the mirror as he rests his forehead against my back, trying to slow his breathing.

Finally he pulls out, turning me around and hugging me to him. I breathe in his scent as my heartbeat and breathing slow to normal. "I'm sorry," he whispers after a minute or two.

Confused, I pull back and look up at him. "About what?"

"Our conversation earlier," he says softly, brushing my hair behind my ear. "I know you were expecting that the end of my relationship with Tanya might change things for us."

I take another step back. I don't think I can have this conversation right now, like this — naked and with his jizz leaking out of me. "I-I need to clean up," I mumble, then make a beeline for his bathroom.

As I'm taking care of things, I notice Edward step up behind me in the mirror. He's carrying something white in his hands, and as he puts it over my shoulders, I realize it's his shirt. I slide my arms into the holes, though it's several sizes too big for me. Staring into my eyes in the mirror, he rubs his hands over my shoulders.

"This is who I am, Bella. Tanya was my girlfriend in name only. I'm not looking to replace that — with _anyone_. It has nothing to do with you, I hope you know that."

"It's not you, it's me, right?" I reply sadly.

"Exactly," he nods. "If it's any consolation, you're the first woman I've fucked in my new place. And you could very well be the only one since I rarely bring women home." I snort in reply. "You're free to walk away if this isn't what you want, Bella."

I twist around, then twine my arms around his neck as I look up at him. The truth is, I like him — a lot. But he's made his intentions very clear, and pushing him on it is unlikely to change his mind.

The only thing I've got on my side is time. If we spend more time together, maybe that will convince him that he doesn't need multiple women warming his bed in order to be happy. Maybe.

"This is enough," I tell him. For now.

Smiling, he leans down to kiss me gently. "Will you stay the night? I can open a bottle of wine and we can enjoy the evening out on the balcony."

"I'd like that," I smile.

* * *

 **A/N:** Edward really did have legitimate, non-sexual plans for the previous weekend. I based his condo on several units in the same building that were for sale when I was writing this, but mostly on this one: landcast d-o-t com /listing/1515623/2125-1st-ave-seattle-wa

So, Edward is out of Tanya's house and Tanya is out of Edward's life. I imagine most of you are happy with those two developments. She's not completely out of the story yet though.

Bella wasn't so happy to hear that this changes nothing between them as far as Edward is concerned. He gave her an out to walk away, but she's hoping that spending more time together is all it will take to make him a one-woman man. Is she kidding herself?

 **Next chapter's title:** A Top 5 acoustic hit from a usually hard-rocking band.


	20. Patience

**Author Note:** Thanks for keeping the faith! Once again, you guys had a lot to say about the last chapter!

Most readers came down pretty hard on Bella for thinking she can ever change Edward. And you all sense a train wreck on the way.

Congrats **NKubie** , **kay0913** , **2loveybunnies** , **foreverpeetaslove** , **krazi4TwiSaga** , **peachtreegirl** , **MIRosebud** , **LSU15** , **banned2010** , **katbarpar** , **Tay240** and **shaz308** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Guns 'N Roses.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 20 – Patience_

Over the next few weeks, my relationship with Edward — such as it is — evolves into a bit of a routine: he invites me to come over after his last appointment on Saturday afternoon, we have dinner together, then we go back to his place for mind-blowing sex. He's pretty much had me on every flat surface in his condo.

I've learned to pack an overnight bag so that we can then spend much of the day together on Sundays, as we take advantage of the late summer weather in Seattle. We visit Pike Place Market, walk along the marina, go up in the Space Needle…

It's almost like having a real boyfriend. Almost.

"So I was thinking, maybe we could go to the Washington State Fair next weekend?" Edward asks as we sit having dinner at a seafood place along the water. "It seems like a huge thing around here. Everyone is talking about it."

I'm a little shocked by the question, to be honest. I mean, despite not wanting to put a label on us, he's really starting to treat me like a girlfriend, at least in terms of wanting to do things with me. _Or maybe he just doesn't have any other friends to do them with_ , that little devil over my shoulder says.

"Oh, um, I can't. I'm going back home to Forks next weekend. It-it's my birthday," I explain.

I only needed to ask once if Edward wanted to double date with Jake and Seth to realize that he has no interest in getting to know my friends. I know better than to ask if he wants to meet my family.

"Oh. OK."

"The fair is still going on the next two weekends though," I point out. "We could go later in the month."

"Sure," he agrees with a small smile. "You know, you hadn't told me your birthday was coming up."

"Neither did you, as I recall."

"Touché," he replies with a grin. "You know, your upcoming birthday is actually a good opportunity for something I wanted to talk to you about." I look at him questioningly. "My first six months of membership at the club are up at the end of this month. I need to go get tested in order to re-up for another six months."

"OK?" I reply in confusion.

"I was wondering if you'd like to sign up with me. I could pick up your membership dues as your birthday present," he smiles.

"Be-become a club member?" I choke out.

He nods. "I mean, I could always bring you as my guest again, but if you want to touch anyone else, you have to be a member."

"Do you want me to go have sex with other men?" I whisper, feeling my heartbeat speed up and my stomach drop to my feet. Just when I thought he was starting to act like a boyfriend, he pulls something like this.

"I figured _you_ might want to see other people."

I swallow thickly. Without coming right out and saying it, he's hinting that since he sees other women, I can see other men. He doesn't care if I'm with other men. He doesn't care about me.

He's not my boyfriend. And maybe it's time for me to give up on the hope that he ever will be.

"It was just an idea, if you're not interested," he adds when I don't respond. "No pressure."

* * *

The following Tuesday is another Seattle Actuarial Club luncheon, at the Washington Athletic Club this time. I almost didn't sign up, since I'm not crazy about the food there, but the speaker's presentation sounds interesting.

And I might see Tanya there. For once, I'm not worried about running into her. I'm actually curious to hear how her new relationship is working out; plus, she might have some insights that can help me decide what to do about Edward.

Our group arrives during the networking period before lunch is served, and Tanya waves me over immediately, introducing me to her companions as her former grading partner, just as I had with Angela.

"Please excuse us, I need to talk to Bella about this year's exam committee."

She steers me away from the group into a quiet corner, then gives me a small smile. "So how's Edward doing?" she asks with little prelude, confirming my suspicion that her comment about the exam committee was just a ruse.

"You haven't talked to him at all?" I question. I mean, he _had_ mentioned that her new boyfriend was the jealous type.

"No," she replies with a wry smile. "Edward and I didn't exactly leave things on a good note."

"You didn't?" I ask in confusion. "He acted like he was fine with you breaking up with him for another man and said you were still friends."

"That may be true, but… I made some suggestions that he wasn't happy about and he more or less went off on me."

My brow furrows as I stare at Tanya. "What did you say?" I ask.

She smiles softly. "You're different for him, Bella. I've seen it ever since I walked in on you two in our hotel room in Florida. And I _know_ you're a large part of the reason he agreed to move to Seattle. You're not just sex to him. I… merely suggested that he should give a real relationship with you a chance."

My eyes widen. "And he didn't take that well?"

"No," she shakes her head. "He didn't. He told me to butt out, among other less kind things. For reasons he won't explain, Edward… well, I think he won't allow himself to connect with anyone on any sort of personal level. He resists it with everything he has."

"You guys were together for three years and he acted like your break-up was no big deal at all."

"Exactly," she nods.

"Do you know anything about his parents?" I ask, suddenly wondering if their deaths have anything to do with this. "Like how and when they died?"

"I didn't know they _had_ died," Tanya comments, her eyes widening. "I know he's never appeared to be close with them, but he's never mentioned to me that they're dead."

"Oh," I frown. "When I suggested that he could go back to Portland to visit them, he told me they were dead." Now I wonder if he was telling the truth.

"Well, I agree there may be some sort of connection between his parents and his… issues. Let me just tell you this — Edward is a good man. He _is_. Be patient with him, Bella. I've seen him with a number of other women over the last three years and you _are_ different to him. I believe you can break through his walls and reach his heart, but you absolutely cannot push him. Do you understand?"

I nod silently. I sort of figured that out for myself that first night he brought me to his condo.

"Good," she smiles. "I don't believe he's truly happy with this life of sex with random women. Some part of him wants to fall in love and settle down with one woman. It's just going to take time for that part to rise to the surface."

"So I need to be patient."

"If you want more with him one day, then yes."

"Thank you, Tanya," I tell her genuinely, "For the insights. I really appreciate it. Now, tell me about this new man of yours…"

* * *

After speaking with Tanya, I start to recognize Edward's suggestion that I join the club for what it likely is: a way to keep things between us casual, given the amount of time we spend together now. And so I decide to let him buy my membership as my birthday gift. There's no harm in it really, if he's paying. Having a membership doesn't mean I have to do anything with anyone else. It doesn't even mean I have to visit the club. It just means the option is there.

I have a great time celebrating my birthday with my parents and siblings — except for dodging all of their pesky questions about why I'm not dating anyone. Seriously, you'd think Mom didn't already have five grandchildren to spoil.

The following weekend, Edward and I spend a day and a half at the Washington State Fair and have a lot of fun together. We spend the day walking around, holding hands, and I feel like I'm in a normal relationship. I feel like… this is what I want — a guy who's just fun to be around, whatever we're doing together.

Only I can't tell him that without chasing him away.

Just a few days later, I receive my membership card to the "lifestyle club" in the mail. When I text Edward to let him know, he excitedly makes plans for us to visit on Saturday night. I remind myself that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do… but what will I do if _he_ wants to go off and have sex with another woman?

* * *

On Saturday night, I stand staring into my closet for 10 minutes to find something to wear. I wore my best date outfit on Edward's birthday, so I can't wear that again. Eventually I decide on a sleeveless top with a draped neckline and a striped skirt. As I twirl around in the mirror, I think I look pretty hot.

"Pretty hot" doesn't even cover Edward when he comes to pick me up. His jeans make his ass look amazing, and his dark green polo shirt under a brown sports coat makes his green eyes pop.

After dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant, we drive to the club together in Edward's Volvo. He swipes his card to enter through the gates, and we park in a lot that's already quite full.

Following Edward, I show my new badge to the huge bouncer, and he motions for us to go on in. "Drinks first," Edward says, leading me to his left.

This time as we sit and drink, I _do_ feel like the men are checking me out… or maybe it's just my imagination. I'm too afraid of actually making eye contact with any of them to even slyly check them out, though.

Once we've finished our drinks, Edward and I move into the nightclub area. He turns me around until my back is to him, then dirty dances with me while his fingers lightly trail up and down my sides until I feel like I might go insane.

And then a tall redhead walks over to us, asking Edward if he wants to dance. He glances at me and I give him a tentative smile before stepping to the side and then moving to stand by the wall. She seamlessly takes my place and he continues dancing as if we were interchangeable. I suppose to him we are.

"That your man?" a male voice asks, and I turn to look up at the tall, well-dressed man beside me. He nods toward Edward and the redhead, and I confirm that I'm here with him.

"Well, instead of standing around like a wallflower, you need to get out there yourself," he grins down at me.

"Are you volunteering?" I flirt.

He holds out his hand and I take it, letting him lead me back onto the dance floor. "Tyler," he introduces himself.

"I'm Bella," I smile. He is actually quite cute, with blue eyes and a head full of dark curly hair. He looks like he might be about Edward's age.

"Are you new? I haven't seen you here before," he says, his hands on my hips.

"Oh, um, I came once before as Edward's guest, but I just got my own membership."

"Welcome then," he says with a wide, toothy grin.

"Thanks. Are-are you here with someone?"

Tyler nods. "My wife went upstairs with some guy about 10 minutes ago."

"Oh!" I exclaim, my eyes widening. "And that… doesn't bother you?" I ask curiously.

He shakes his head. "We've been married since college, and we use a night out like this every couple of months to keep the spice in our marriage. I know it's unconventional, but it works for us."

As the music changes, I hear Edward call my name, and then feel his arm wrap around my waist. I stop dancing with Tyler to look up at him. "Let's go check out the other room. Please excuse us," he says to Tyler before leading me away.

"What happened to your redheaded friend?" I ask as we step into what I've dubbed the Room of Sin.

He shrugs. "I danced with her to be polite but I wasn't into her."

Trying not to stare, I look around the room, my eyes falling on a woman lying spread-eagled on a table. One man is eating her out while she holds the cocks of two other men in each of her hands. By the huge smile on her face, she looks like she's having the time of her life.

I quickly look away, then spot another woman being fucked doggie style on a couch, while she gives a blowjob to a man standing at one end of it. The entire idea is just so… taboo, and yet I can't help the little stir I feel between my legs.

Edward suddenly nudges me and I tear my eyes away guiltily. "Is that what you want?" he asks. "A threesome with two men?"

"I—" I feel my face flush. I shouldn't want that. I mean, I was right there with all of my friends, calling Lauren Mallory a slut back in high school when rumor had it she took care of half the football team. The idea of being with two men shouldn't excite me, yet…

"Your friend is watching you," Edward whispers in my ear. I follow his line of sight to see Tyler standing along the wall, a beer bottle in his hand. "Do you want to fuck him, Bella? I bet he'd be happy to."

"I don't—" I swallow thickly, trying not to stare at Tyler. He really _is_ pretty hot. "I know I've had one-night stands before, but… only after spending time getting to know them first. I'm not sure I could actually have sex with a total stranger."

"What _do_ you want then? Be honest with yourself."

"I-I want… I want what she has," I confess quietly, nodding toward the woman on the table. I remember how much Edward enjoyed being doted on by two women. "I want to be worshipped. But… I mean, Tyler probably wants sex, right?"

"Presumably he's here to get off, yeah," Edward nods. "Could you do that?" He nods toward the woman again. She's turned her upper body now, sucking one man's cock, while another plays with her breasts and the third man still has his face between his legs.

Could I… go down on Tyler? He probably wouldn't be satisfied with just my hand. I try to tell myself that it's no big deal, it's just a part of his body. If I want him to go down on me, I need to be prepared to reciprocate, don't I?

I didn't come here with any intention of touching another man, but… I can feel myself getting turned on by the idea.

"You'd stay with me?" I verify.

"It's hardly a threesome if I'm not there," he chuckles. "Want me to go talk to — Tyler, was it? — for you?"

"You wouldn't think less of me if—"

"Bella!" he warns. "I've happily been with two women, as you well know, and I've also been with one woman and one man before. I am the last person on the planet who would judge you. It's just sex… a natural bodily function. But it's entirely up to you."

I swallow thickly, then nod my acceptance before I chicken out, biting my lip as I watch Edward walk across the room to approach Tyler. They start speaking and then Tyler looks over in my direction. I give him a small smile, my breathing speeding up as he and Edward continue to chat.

And then they both start walking in my direction.

* * *

 **A/N:** So… one thing at a time. Bella and Edward have been spending a lot of time together, but just when she was starting to think her situation was hopeless, she got some good insights from Tanya and decided to be patient a while longer. Tanya had a lot of interesting things to tell Bella, in fact.

Bella eventually agreed to let Edward buy her membership at the swingers club, though she had no intention of giving other men the time of day, until a cute guy paid attention to her… Will she go through with her fantasy?

 **Next chapter's title:** A late 80s party anthem by an iconic hair band.


	21. Nothin' but a Good Time

**Author Note:** We've crossed 2,000 reviews, so thanks to all of you for your support!

While there were some "Go Bella!" reviews, it's safe to say that most of you think this lifestyle really isn't for her.

Congrats **viviPatCullen** , **KDMCAM** , **MIRosebud** , **2loveybunnies** , **Capricorn75** , **NKubie** , **orion03981** , **GrandeDame** , **twifan7731** , **the real teacher** , **LSU15** , **Iliketorun** , **EdwardsFirstKiss** and **banned2010** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Poison.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 21 – Nothin' but a Good Time_

Tyler smiles as he and Edward approach me. "Your boyfriend said you're interested in a threesome," he says and I hold my breath, waiting for a bad reaction from Edward to being called my boyfriend — only it never comes. I should've been clear with Tyler earlier that Edward wasn't _my_ man.

"I-I'm curious," I admit. "But… I'm not sure I could have intercourse with someone I just met."

"I understand," he smiles. "I kind of just stuck my toe in the water at first, too."

Edward takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb back and forth over my knuckles. "Where do you want to go, Bella? Do you want to go upstairs? Or we can check out one of the semi-private rooms. She's an exhibitionist," he says to Tyler, and I can feel myself turning red.

"I'm cool with semi-private," he shrugs, and I agree. I want to see what these rooms are like.

As we walk down the hallway to find an open room, I can't help looking in at the other rooms we pass. There are six people together in one of the rooms!

Tyler closes the door behind us, and Edward wraps one arm around me, placing a soft kiss on my temple. "Don't be nervous, baby," he whispers.

I give him a tentative smile and he bends down, taking my lips in his. As our kiss becomes more heated, I feel Tyler come up behind me. He moves all of my hair over my left shoulder then places soft kisses on the back of my neck. His hands rest on my hips at first, then I feel him tugging my blouse out of my skirt.

Edward grasps my top, breaking our kiss long enough to pull it up and over my head. He kisses me again, his hands cupping my breasts, and then I feel Tyler opening the zipper on the back of my skirt. He pulls my skirt down and I step out of it, so that I'm standing there in my underwear.

We walked about halfway down the hallway, and I realize that new couples could be passing by our room at any time. When Edward and I had sex at the club on my first visit, he left me as clothed as possible, but I'm about to get completely naked where anyone could see me. A shiver runs through me at the thought.

"You have a great body," Tyler says, rubbing his hands all over my bare ass cheeks. I wore my lone pair of thongs especially for tonight… just in case.

Edward reaches behind me to unhook my lacy push-up bra and then slowly pulls the straps down my arms. I yelp as he grabs hold of my butt, lifting me up and then depositing me on my back in the middle of the bed.

I look up at the two gorgeous men, biting my lip. "Why am I nearly naked while you two are still fully dressed?" I ask with a bravado I don't quite feel. Despite what Edward said, I _am_ nervous about how this is going to go.

The men look at each other, and then as if on cue, begin removing their jackets. Tyler is wearing a button-down shirt, and he slowly works the buttons, while Edward just pulls his polo shirt over his head. It's like my own personal strip tease show, and I love it.

Oh, Tyler has a very, very nice upper body; he clearly spends a lot of time in the gym. I can't help licking my lips as they both strip down to their underwear. Any woman passing by our room would surely stop to watch those two.

Edward gets naked first, kneeling on the bed and pulling my panties off. He crawls up the bed on my left side, kissing me while he begins kneading my left breast with one hand.

I moan when I feel Tyler take my right nipple in his mouth, letting his fingers drift down between my legs. Edward moves his mouth to my left breast, his fingers joining Tyler's as I eagerly spread my legs a bit to give them more room. Now that Edward is no longer kissing me, I finally have a chance to look down toward Tyler's cock — and I'm happy with what I see. Since the plan is for it to only be in my mouth, I'm glad it's not huge.

"Feel how wet you are, baby," Edward purrs. "You're so turned on by the thought of doing something naughty." I moan in response, because he's right — I am turned on more by the idea of this than anything else, I think. Those women in the Room of Sin looked to be having so much fun.

"What do you want now? Do you want my mouth on you?"

"Yes," I moan. "Please, Edward."

Tyler removes his fingers, and I cry out when Edward puts his mouth over my clit and sucks hard. Tyler begins alternating his mouth between my breasts while his hands brush all over my skin, and it's a total overload of sensations.

"Mmm…" I moan. This feeling of being worshipped is exactly what I wanted.

"May I taste you?" Tyler asks, and I eagerly agree, too close to care _whose_ mouth is on me. Edward moves away, moving up the bed toward me. He claims my lips again just as Tyler begins lapping at me with his tongue. After a minute or so, he pushes two fingers inside me, curling them as he pulls them out and I shatter, crying out loudly.

As I come down from my high, Edward gets up off the bed, picking his jacket up from the floor, and I realize he's getting the required condom.

"You still want just me to fuck you?" he asks, and I stare down at Tyler's cock. It's got a bit of a curve to it, and I wonder… how would _that_ feel? But the idea of having full-on sex with two men… I just can't bring myself to do it.

"It's OK, Bella," Tyler says, caressing my leg. Obviously he can see my decision on my face.

I watch as Edward sheaths himself in the condom, then strokes himself a few times. "Whatever position is most comfortable for you, baby," he says.

"I don't… know?"

Smiling, he lies down beside me, then rolls me onto my side so that he's behind me. Lifting my left leg, he slides his cock inside me, stopping once he's buried to the hilt.

"Is she as tight as she felt on my fingers?" Tyler asks.

"She's fucking amazing," Edward answers, and I can feel myself blushing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him motion to Tyler, who comes to sit by the top of the bed. I reach out, stroking his hard cock with my hand a few times. I take a deep breath, reminding myself that it's just a part of his body, then tentatively lick from base to tip.

"That's it, baby," Edward says as he starts to move inside me. He keeps one hand moving over my skin at all times, while I try to give my attention to Tyler.

"Fuck, yeah," he groans as I concentrate on the swollen head. "I love your mouth."

Some part of my brain is calling me all sorts of nasty names in my head, but I do my best to tamp it down. This really isn't all that different from a 69 — and Edward introduced me to _that_ pleasure a few weeks ago — except that there are two different men.

"Use your teeth a little," Tyler suggests, and I scrape his cock with my teeth on the next pass, making him moan loudly.

"Keep that up and I'm not gonna last," he groans.

"Take him in deep, baby," Edward directs. "Make sure anyone watching us can see what a good cocksucker you are." He speeds up his thrusts then and I moan around Tyler's cock, thinking of the show we could be putting on for others.

"Fuck… gonna come soon… can I come in your mouth?"

I pull my mouth off in a hurry, grasping him with my hand again. "I haven't convinced her yet that she won't taste anything if I come down her throat," Edward says, chuckling.

"Let me come on your tits then," Tyler suggests. I try to aim his cock and seconds later, I'm startled as he erupts onto my chest with a loud grunt. I squeeze him until he seems to be finished, then let go.

Edward pulls out suddenly, rolling me onto my back. "Why did you—?" I pant, until he kneels between my legs, then lifts my hips and slides back inside. He begins fucking me harder and harder until I'm moaning and whimpering like a porn star.

"Come on, baby," he encourages.

"You look so sexy being fucked like that," Tyler groans. "I hope you'll let me take a turn with you next time."

"Oh… God!" I yell as my orgasm rushes through me.

Within seconds, Edward pulls out, rips the condom off, then begins jacking off furiously. It doesn't take long for his cum to join Tyler's on my chest.

I did it… I took care of two men. And the sky didn't fall and the world didn't end.

"Goddamn," Edward growls when he finishes.

"If only they allowed cameras, huh?" Tyler says, and Edward chuckles between his pants.

"No shit… she's the fucking sexiest thing I've ever seen, covered in cum from the both of us." He takes a deep breath, then looks up at me. "How do you feel, baby?"

"I feel… well-fucked. And a bit… dirty," I add, glancing down at my chest.

He laughs, grinning at me.

Tyler gets up off the bed, grabbing a towel from a stack on a small table, then cleans me off gently. As I sit up, he suddenly grasps the back of my neck and kisses me. It's strange at first, given that it's been over a year since I've kissed another man. He's a good kisser though.

"I meant what I said earlier," he says once he's let me go. "I wouldn't mind a repeat performance some other night." I don't answer, because I don't know that I want a repeat. I wanted to know how those women in the Room of Sin felt, and now I do. I had fun, but it's certainly not something I _need_ to do.

Tyler starts grabbing for his clothes, while Edward flops back on the bed beside me. I start to get up, but he shakes his head.

"Are you two gonna stay a while?" Tyler asks as he buttons his shirt.

"Yeah," Edward answers for us. "Thanks for indulging her."

"Believe me, it was my pleasure. Till we meet again, Bella," he winks, then opens the door and walks out.

"How do you really feel?" Edward asks quietly once we're alone, and I lie down, turning to face him.

"I'm fine… no impending freak-out. I enjoyed it, but I don't know that I'd ever want to do that again. I don't think it's… _me_."

He smiles gently, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. "You're exploring your sexuality, figuring out what you enjoy — there's nothing wrong with that. You're so fucking sexy, Bella, leaving your inhibitions behind and just listening to your body. I love that you're willing to try new things."

"Maybe you won't get bored with me," I joke, but from the look on his face, it falls a bit flat.

"Bella…" he whispers, stroking the side of my face.

"I know. And, um, I'm sorry if I ruined your plans for the night." He looks at me questioningly. "I-I mean, if you were planning to find another woman."

He starts shaking his head immediately. "I have no complaints about the way this night ended up. I had no intention of leaving you behind to take off with another woman."

Giving him a small smile, I sit up, then start looking around for my clothes. "Did you want to stay?" I ask when Edward doesn't seem to be moving.

"No," he sighs, hoisting himself up. "If we go back to your place, I can have the pleasure of not using a condom."

"What makes you think I'll be up for another round tonight?" I ask, teasing.

"Because I know you're pretty much shameless in wanting my cock," he winks, then places a smacking kiss on my lips.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Bells, you're wasting your time with this jackass," Jake says, setting his beer down a little harder than necessary.

"It's my life to waste, isn't it?"

"And what kind of best friend would I be if I just let you do it?" he counters. "Tell her, Seth. She listens to you."

"I'm not getting in the middle of the two of you," Seth chuckles from his chair next to Jake, raising his hands in surrender.

"Jake," I plead, "It's not like I'm turning down offers from other men left, right and center. I might as well be invisible to the men I pass by on the street." But not to men at the "lifestyle club" — though I'm not stupid enough to _ever_ tell Jacob anything about the club.

"Bella, you are a beautiful, intelligent, successful 28-year-old woman. You deserve more than this half-relationship where he snaps his fingers and you come running and spread your legs!" I grit my teeth and I'm sure Jake can see the anger on my face. "I'm not judging you, OK? Casual sex is fine, but what you two have got going on is a bit more than that. He's basically treating you like his girlfriend only when it suits him. Do you have any idea how many other women he's been with since Tanya dumped his ass?"

"No," I sigh, closing my eyes. Edward and I have a bit of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I know there _are_ other women, but he doesn't talk about them, and I really don't want to know, so I don't ask.

"Tanya said I need to be patient," I remind Jake, and he rolls his eyes.

"I don't even know why you want this guy. OK, he's hot and he's good in bed, but he's not relationship material. He's not gonna settle down with you and make pretty babies."

"I like him, Jake," I confess quietly. "He's a lot of fun to be around. And if Tanya is right, the man inside him _is_ relationship material."

"Tanya should've kept her damn mouth shut," he growls. "OK, let's imagine for a minute that he does decide he wants you and only you — still no pretty babies, right? Didn't you say he got a vasectomy?"

"That's what he told me when I first met him," I confirm. "I-I haven't asked him about it since. I don't know if he was telling the truth, or if it was a line to get me into bed."

"If he was lying, he's an ass and will never deserve you. And if he wasn't lying, are you prepared to never have children? And don't say you can adopt — if he went to the trouble of getting a vasectomy, he doesn't want kids."

"He's right, Bella," Seth speaks up. "Most of the time, I don't take sides when you two start going at it, but this time… I have to agree with Jacob."

I pick up my glass of Diet Coke, playing with the straw to give myself time to think of a response. I don't really have one though. Jake and Seth are right. If Edward lied about something that serious, then that's it. I wouldn't want to be with a man who could lie that easily.

But if he was telling the truth… am I prepared to remain childless? I love my nieces and nephews, though I've often felt that my brother and sister were insane for starting their families so young. I've always assumed that I'll have children of my own, but my timeline has always been "after I've finished my exams." I've never had a specific date in mind. Still, I think I do want a children someday.

Even if I do one day reach Edward's heart, as Tanya believes I can, this may be one area where there's no room for compromise.

* * *

 **A/N:** So… she did it. She had fun, she didn't freak out… and Edward didn't get jealous.

Jake made another attempt at getting his best friend to see reason. He failed, but he's at least made her think a little bit. Do you think Edward was telling the truth about his vasectomy? We'll find out the answer in two more chapters.

 **Next chapter's title:** I actually renamed it last night because I wasn't happy with the old title. A 1985 #1 hit whose video is famous for the "$20,000 haircut." God only knows why I remember that useless bit of trivia… I think it was a story Casey Kasem told? Or maybe it was mentioned on MTV lol.


	22. Careless Whisper

**Author Note:** Thanks for keeping the faith! Lots of you agreeing with Jake that this seems hopeless for poor Bella though.

Congrats **the real teacher** , **Romana973** , **Ballachicki** , **KDMCAM** , **GrandeDame** , **anitabonita2413** , **shaz308** , **libbyg1980** , **LuvinTwilight143** , **Ninkita** , **katbarpar** , **MIRosebud** , **BonTempsLane** , **Catie Jane** , **LSU15** , **Taylor9901** and **Scattycow** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Wham!/George Michael. Several others guessed Wham!'s _Everything She Wants_ , which also kind of fits the chapter.

For those who don't know the story, the Miami humidity did quite a number on George's long, naturally curly hair. He hated how it looked on film, so he flew someone over from the UK to cut his hair, then they had to re-shoot all of the "acting" scenes in the video.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 22 – Careless Whisper_

"Hold still," Seth says as I squirm on my seat. It seems like he's been working on me for an hour, but maybe it's only been 20 minutes. "OK, pucker your lips."

I do as he says, feeling his brush on my lips. Seth works as a hairstylist and make-up artist and graciously volunteered to help me with my Halloween costume. Well, maybe I had to promise I'd bake him some cookies.

"All done," he pronounces with a smile, and I stand up, eager to check out what I look like in the bathroom mirror.

"Wow!" I gush when I finally see myself. He's done such a great job with my blonde wig that it looks like my natural hair. And I don't think I've _ever_ had my make-up professionally applied before.

Most of my costume is just my own clothes. OK, OK… I may have gone shopping specially for the red halter top. But I already owned the black leather mini-skirt and the black stiletto boots, which were an impulse purchase one year that I hardly ever wear.

My look is completed with cross earrings, a large cross necklace — think Madonna, circa 1980s — and acrylic nails painted bright red to match my top.

The only part of my outfit that I purchased at a costume shop was the accessories — a wooden stake and a bow and arrow, which will hang from a pack over my back.

I've never been one to make a big deal out of dressing up for Halloween. I mean, not since I was one of the Sea Gals — the Seahawks cheerleaders — in the sixth grade. Given my history of being super-clumsy, I should've never agreed to that costume. My classmates had a field day with it.

I made a few lame attempts at costumes during college, but nothing since graduation. With actuarial exams in November, I needed to be studying, not partying!

But this year, Edward and I are attending a Halloween party at the lifestyle club. He told me that he'd attended parties like this at the club in Chicago that he and Tanya belonged to, and they were a lot of fun. He seemed really excited about going so I figured, why not?

I'm really excited to see Edward's costume. All I know is that he's going as a vampire. But that could mean anything from a traditional Dracula, to Eric from _True Blood_ , to one of the Salvatore brothers.

I am sitting on the bed zipping up my boots when the doorbell rings. _Shit!_ I can't leave Edward alone with Jake and Seth for too long.

"So where is this party you're taking our girl to?" I hear Jake asking as I round the corner.

"Jake," I call preemptively, "Leave him alone. He's supposed to be surprising me," I lie. There's no way I'm telling Jake that we're going to a swingers club.

I stop short when Edward comes into view. He definitely went traditional vampire. Besides black dress slacks, he's wearing a rather frilly white shirt with bell sleeves, topped with a dark red velvet vest, and of course, a long black cape.

"Let me see your fangs," I ask eagerly as I walk up to him, and he laughs, pulling his plastic fangs out of his pants pocket.

"I'll put them in later."

"Dude, what kind of lame-ass vampire are you?" Seth asks, looking him up and down.

"What do you mean?" he asks, brow furrowed.

"You didn't do anything to your face. Give me five minutes and I'll have you in tip-top shape," he says, dashing off to my bathroom for his make-up kit.

"Seth's a make-up artist," I explain to Edward, pulling out one of my kitchen chairs for him to take a seat.

"Turn around for me, sexy girl," he whispers, likely so Jake doesn't overhear.

"Later." I am not giving Jake any ammunition against him.

"What are you supposed to be, anyway?" Edward asks.

"Dude!" Jake yells in his best "seriously?" voice as he hands me my bag of accessories. "She's Buffy."

"Buffy?"

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer," I explain. "I, um, figured it'd go with your costume."

Edward grins, then nods. "It's perfect."

I sit and watch while Seth does Edward's make-up. First he darkens his eyebrows and adds black eyeliner, then he adds a white powder all over his face to give him that flawless vampire-pale skin, finishing with a touch of blush to enhance his already chiseled cheekbones.

"What do you think, Bella?" Seth asks as he steps back.

"Perfect," I pronounce, stealing Edward's word.

"All right, you two, don't forget to lock up when you leave," I remind them as Edward helps me into my coat. I've got my bag of accessories in my hand.

"We know, Bella!" Jake moans, and I wave at him as I follow Edward out the door.

The minute the door has closed behind me, he shoves me up against it, claiming my lips in a hard kiss. "So fucking sexy," he whispers.

"You know, you probably just got red lipstick all over your mouth," I pretend to be annoyed. Seth gave me the lipstick so I can touch it up when we get to the club.

Taking my hand, Edward leads me down to his car. Once he's seated, he peers in the rearview mirror at what Seth has done to his appearance. "Oh my God!" he chuckles.

"You look great," I assure him.

Edward and I have dinner together at a nice Greek restaurant before driving to the club. I insist that he put his fangs in when we get out of the car, and he pretends to bite my neck. He's very playful tonight, and I love it.

Once we're inside, I check my coat and we head straight to the bar to order drinks. Of course, the fangs have to come out again so he can drink his bottle of beer. There are no tables available, so we end up standing where we can people-watch.

"Hmmm… seems like the overriding theme of most costumes is sexy… whatever." I see a sexy nurse, sexy devil, sexy angel, sexy cat, sexy maid… Even in a halter top, I've probably got twice as many clothes on as the other women here.

"I think _you're_ sexy," Edward replies. I yelp when he reaches down and pinches my ass.

Once we've finished our drinks, we decide to dance. The costume contest is at midnight, so we've got quite a while yet.

We're on our way out of the room when suddenly a sexy French maid, her hair up in a platinum blonde bun, walks right up to Edward and puts her hand on his chest. "Well, hello again," she purrs. "I've been thinking about you."

"Have you?" he replies, sounding almost bored.

"Mmmm…" She trails her hand down his chest toward his pants and I swallow thickly. Clearly, this woman is someone he's had sex with before. "Want to get a room?"

Does she seriously not see me standing right next to him? Or is that how it always is here? Do they just not care if you're with someone, since the whole point is to swap?

Edward suddenly reaches out, grabbing her wrist to stop her from grabbing his dick. "Not tonight," he says firmly. "Let's go, baby." He gently pushes me forward with his hand on the small of my back and I quickly exit the room.

"A past hook-up?" I ask, though I already know the answer.

"Unfortunately," he replies in a wry voice.

"Why do you say that?" I ask, looking up at him as we step into the nightclub.

"It was like fucking a limp dishrag. Never again," he shakes his head. "Come on, let's dance."

As we move onto the dance floor, I try to forget about her and concentrate on Edward instead. He pulls me in close, and I sling my bag over my back, rubbing up against him as we dance to song after song. Finally he spins me around and after moving my bag to the front, I grind my ass against his groin.

I jump when he bites at my neck, having obviously put his fangs back in. As he keeps up his assault on my neck, I start giggling uncontrollably.

When I complain that my feet are killing me in these damn boots, Edward leads me off the dance floor and into the Room of Sin, where we order drinks from a passing waitress. The room is pretty crowded, but there is some space in the corner of one of the couches.

Edward sits down, pulling me to sit across his lap. I drop my bag on the floor, happy to be rid of it, then wind one arm around his neck, leaning in for a kiss.

"I've never kissed a vampire before," I grin.

"If you're impressed by that, just wait." He waggles his eyebrows and I can't stop my wide smile.

The waitress brings our drinks and as I sip at my glass, I look around the room at the various couples. One man is holding a woman up against the wall as he fucks her — he has a really nice ass. Another couple is having sex on one of the ottomans. Several people are literally just standing there watching each of them.

And then I see her, the French maid, staring at us from across the room. Tanya never really bothered me, but I'm _jealous_ of the fact that this woman has had Edward. It could've been months ago for all I know, and he said he didn't even like it, but I'm still bothered by the evidence that he really does visit the club on his own.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward whispers, slipping his hand just under the hem of my skirt.

I swallow thickly then turn to look at him. "If I promise no meltdown this time, would you have sex with me again? In this room, I mean."

He glances up at the woman across the room then smirks. "Show her what she's missing, eh?" I shrug innocently, but he knows he's got me pegged. "Sure, baby, just let me finish my beer; I worked up a thirst dancing."

As he holds his bottle in his left hand, he keeps his right hand under my skirt, rubbing my inner thigh. I try to spread my legs a bit to encourage him, but he's having none of it, preferring to just tease me.

Once he's set his empty bottle on the small end table next to us, he grasps the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. I eagerly open for him, letting his tongue explore my mouth as I rub my hand over his chest.

Edward tugs at me and I get the hint, moving until I'm straddling his lap. His hands slide under my top and up my back while we make out, until he pulls away suddenly. "No bra?" he asks, eyebrow raised.

I shake my head. "My only strapless bra would show across the back."

Smirking, he brings his hands up, cupping my breasts. "I really do like these," he sighs, making me giggle. "Lift your skirt."

I bite my lip, awaiting Edward's response to his surprise. It's not easy, but I manage to tug my leather skirt up until it's obvious that I'm not wearing any panties.

"Why you dirty, dirty girl," he growls, his hands coming up to squeeze my ass cheeks. I smile at his reaction, leaning in for another kiss.

As we continue our hot make-out session, he leaves one hand on my ass, bringing the other one around until his fingers brush between my legs. They rub and circle, dipping in and out of my entrance.

"Oh fuck," I mumble, breaking away from his lips.

"Are you gonna come on my fingers, my dirty girl?" His thumb is pressing on my clit, while he fucks me with two of his long fingers.

"Y-yes… oh God…" I'm breathing heavily, writhing in his lap. God, I'm so close.

"Just a little more, baby." He twists his fingers and I shatter.

"Oh fuck!" I scream. "Edward!"

He brings me down gently, and I collapse against his chest, trying to control my breathing. Taking his hand away from me, he sucks his fingers into his mouth, then gently moves me back so that he can open his pants.

I lift up so that Edward can pull his slacks and underwear down to his knees, then I stroke his hard cock with my hand a few times.

"The condom is in my right pocket," he says, and I twist around, pulling it out. He nods at me and I tear the package open, holding the condom out for him. "Put it on," he directs.

"I-I've never done it before," I protest, but he refuses to take the condom from my hand. I try to remember how I've seen him do it, carefully rolling it onto his cock, though I suppose it doesn't really matter if it's on properly.

"Now ride me." He holds his cock in his hand, and I lift up, then slide down easily thanks to my recent orgasm. I throw my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately while I move above him. Both of his hands are on my ass, helping to move me at the pace he needs.

We're in a room full of strangers, but we may as well be alone. I can hear music and various conversations if I listen for them, but Edward is the only thing I can concentrate on — his hands, his mouth, his cock. Nothing else matters.

"Lean back, baby," he whispers, and I do as he says, letting one of his hands brace me as I arch my back. He thrusts up into me over and over until I'm moaning and whimpering between my heavy breaths.

My eyes have been closed but as I open them, I catch sight of what must be a dozen people standing or sitting behind me, watching Edward fuck me. They're upside-down from my position, so I can't get a good look at any of them, but I spot at least one man with his hand down his pants.

"Oooohhhh…" I moan, so close to coming. Edward begins circling my clit with one finger and that's all it takes before I'm screaming and shaking.

He lifts me up abruptly, pulling me off his cock. "Go kneel on that ottoman over there."

Barely coherent, I stand on shaky legs, turning around and taking a few steps forward until I reach the ottoman. Edward gently pushes me until I'm on my hands and knees on top of it, then slams his cock back inside me.

"Oh God!" I yelp. He pulls all the way out just as quickly then thrusts in the same way again… and again… and again. Finally he starts fucking me in earnest, his thrusts long and hard and hitting exactly the right spot inside me. All I can do is stare down at the leather, bracing myself against him.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," I chant over and over. It seems like he's been going forever, but that's probably due to the condom numbing the feeling somewhat.

Suddenly he wraps an arm around my waist, bringing me fully up to my knees until I can feel his clothing against my back. "Look around at your adoring public, Bella." With the things his cock is doing to me, I can hardly focus on the shapes in front of me. "They're loving watching you get fucked. I bet all the men in this room want a turn with you."

"N-Nooo…" I mumble. "Only you… Only want you."

Pushing me forward again, he pounds me harder and faster until my third orgasm of the right rushes through my entire body. I feel him freeze inside me as he comes, then I collapse forward onto my arms. I might even black out for a moment.

When I come to, I feel Edward tugging my skirt down. His arms wrap around me as he helps me to my feet, then he leads me back to our spot on the couch. I curl up against his chest, closing my eyes in exhaustion.

* * *

 **A/N:** Bella and Edward had a fun night, but then she finally came face to face with one of his other women. She didn't like it at all and staked her claim in spectacular fashion.

So… how do you think Edward is going to react the Bella's "careless whisper" at the end?

 **Next chapter's title:** A late 80s Top 3 hit by a male artist. The video actually has a similar theme to the last one, just in reverse, I suppose.

The next chapter will post **Monday** , since I have plans after work on Tuesday and will get home very late.


	23. Should've Known Better

**Author Note:** So you don't like a little fluff… there is drama on the way very soon.

A tougher title to guess this week! Congrats to **EdwardsFirstKiss** , **LSU15** , **KDMCAM** , **anitabonita2413** , **shaz308** and **libbyg1980** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Richard Marx. Also, **MIRosebud** got the right artist, wrong song. At least they were both #3 hits.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 23 – Should've Known Better_

The weekend before Thanksgiving, I have another one of my frequent sleepovers at Edward's on Saturday night. In the morning, we walk the block or so to our favorite coffee shop for breakfast.

As Edward drinks his coffee, my stomach is in knots as I try to work up the nerve to ask him about Thanksgiving. I know it might be a bad idea to push him like this. The last time I pushed him, it hadn't even registered with me that I'd done so until I was lying awake in bed later that night, trying to figure out what I could've done to make him so… quiet.

After we had sex in the Room of Sin on Halloween, Edward's behavior just seemed a bit off while we waited around for the costume contest to begin. When we lost to a couple 'dressed' as Adam and Eve, he drove me home and agreed to spend the night since it was so late. But as we got ready for bed, he was still acting weird.

He didn't object when I put on pajamas and barely even kissed me goodnight as we got into bed. I must've lain awake for hours before it finally hit me — in a completely unguarded moment, I'd told him I only wanted him!

When he was still acting weird the following morning, I felt sure that I was right, but I was too afraid of making things worse by bringing it up. By the following weekend, things were back to normal between us, so I let it be.

"So, um, I'll be heading to Forks after work on Wednesday and staying until sometime on Sunday," I begin hesitantly.

"Oh, OK," he says, seemingly unfazed.

"Would you like to come with me?" I blurt out, before I can change my mind. Given my past experience, I'm afraid of his reaction to my request, but I'd hate myself if I didn't ask.

He looks up sharply. "To meet your family?"

"Not to 'meet them' meet them. I mean, it's Thanksgiving. You don't have anywhere else to go for the holiday, do you?"

"No, I don't, but Bella…"

"We can tell them you're just a friend who has no other plans. They don't have to know anything about us," I assure him. "I'll make sure they don't think you're my boyfriend."

Edward runs his hand through his hair, sighing. His face looks conflicted, like maybe a part of him does want to accept my offer. Who wants to be alone on such a family-oriented holiday?

"Thank you for the offer, but… I don't think so. Won't you be busy grading papers all weekend anyway? Tanya always was."

"I decided not to grade an exam this year," I explain. "The timing really sucks. Are you sure you won't reconsider? I feel bad about you spending the weekend alone."

And then I realize that maybe he won't _be_ alone. The club is probably open for business.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me," he says with a small smile. "I don't want to intrude on your family time."

"It wouldn't be an intrusion—" I begin, but I shut up when I see the look on his face. I'm not going to win this fight, and continuing to push isn't likely to turn out well.

* * *

Two weeks later, we're back in the same coffee shop having breakfast. I had a great time with my family last weekend, though I did miss Edward… and wondered how he was spending his time. He seemed eager to see me last night though, so I didn't ask about _his_ weekend.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asks.

"Um, well, I'd really like to get started on my Christmas shopping. I got shopping lists for all of my nieces and nephews last weekend. Maybe go to Westlake Center and Pacific Place?"

"Oh. All right," he replies with a slight frown. "Have fun with that."

"Would you like to go with me?" I ask, wondering if he's frowning because he wanted to spend the day with me. I have less than three weeks left until Christmas though, so I need to get started.

"Go to a _mall_?"

"Sure," I chuckle. "You can carry my bags for me," I reply cheekily. "That's what—" I stop abruptly, realizing what I was about to say — that's what boyfriends are for. _That_ would not go over well.

"Oh, carry your bags," he repeats with an eye roll.

"They might have some stores that interest you, too. I mean, weren't you saying you wanted to get a few things for your condo?"

"All right," he acquiesces. "We can go shopping. It's not like we can do anything outside," he adds, looking at the raindrops running down the café's window.

Once we've finished our breakfast, we manage to catch a taxi so we don't have to walk in the steady rain to Pacific Place. Many of the stores are too upscale for me, but they do have a cool toy store and a Gymboree, where I can find lots of cute clothes for my three nephews and my youngest niece.

Edward dutifully follows me around Gymboree, though he doesn't offer much of an opinion on anything, even the clothes for the boys. "No little boy needs that many clothes, Bella," he complains as I carry my stack up to the cashier.

"It's not for _one_ little boy," I explain, "It's for three. Mason is six, his brother Justin is almost eight, and their cousin Scotty turned eight right around my birthday."

"Oh," he replies quietly.

After visiting the toy store, we stop for lunch. I let Edward choose the place, and he picks Johnny Rockets, where we're seated in a retro-style booth.

"How many kids are you shopping for in total?" he asks as he sips his shake.

"Five. Besides the boys, Sophie turns 13 next month and Peyton is two. My brother has two kids — Sophie and Scotty. The other three belong to my sister," I explain.

"And they're twins? Your brother and sister, I mean."

"Yep," I smile, happy to see that he's remembered. "They're three years older than me."

"And he has a 13-year-old?"

I nod. "Alice got pregnant after his senior class prom. Pretty small-town cliché, huh? Jasper delayed going to college for a year but they didn't let it ruin their lives."

"He and my sister look nothing like me," I continue on when Edward just sort of stares at me. "Both are tall and blonde. Oh, I can show you pictures on my phone!"

I start to pull it out of my purse, but he shakes his head. "That's OK, I don't need to see them."

I take a long sip of my chocolate shake, debating whether or not I want to ask Edward about his vasectomy. I mean, this conversation about my nieces and nephews is the best opening I'm likely to ever get. And I've been curious ever since my conversation with Jake and Seth two months ago.

"C-can I ask you something?" I begin nervously. Edward raises an eyebrow, clearly picking up on my emotions. I decide to plow forward. "When we first met, you told me that you'd had a vasectomy. I was wondering… was that the truth or just a line to get me in bed?"

"You think I'd lie about something like that?" He shakes his head. "Of course it was the truth."

"So you don't ever want kids…?"

"Isn't that why someone would usually get a surgery like that?"

"I-I guess," I mumble. "You must've been awfully young when you made that decision if you were only 33 when I met you."

"What does it matter?" he asks, sounding a bit annoyed with the conversation.

"I… I just wondered what prompted it."

Sighing, he runs his hand through his hair as he stares up at the ceiling. "Can we not talk about this?"

My eyes widen. "Oh. Um, yeah, sure. I was just curious."

Sighing again, he scrubs his hands over his face. "I'm sorry," he says quietly, leaning back when our waitress sets our plates down. Now I'm even more curious about what could've prompted his decision, but I guess I'm not going to find out the answer. He's right; it doesn't matter _why_ , just that Jake and Seth were right to make me think about a childless future — if by some miracle Edward does decide that he wants a future with me. It's been almost three months since Tanya told me to be patient, and I'm starting to lose hope again.

After lunch, Edward grabs my bags from me without me having to ask. I pick up a couple of things for my mom, sister and sister-in-law at The Body Shop. As usual, I never know what to get the guys for gifts, so I ask Edward's advice and he suggests Brookstone for electronics. I make a couple of purchases there, then decide I've done enough damage to my credit card for one day.

"How about we check out in there?" Edward says suddenly. I follow his line of sight, grinning when I see he's suggested Victoria's Secret.

"And who exactly am I supposed to be buying for in there?" I tease him.

"Me," he smirks.

Rolling my eyes, I walk into the store, deciding to try to find a bra I can wear under a halter top. While I'm looking, Edward wanders off somewhere, and when I look around for him, I can't find him. For just a moment, I worry that he's talking to another woman, but I don't think he'd do that. And he's still got all of my bags.

I stop when I spot a gorgeous, bright pink lace push-up bra that claims to add two cup sizes. I wonder if Edward would like something like that. I mean, he was with Tanya and she certainly had much bigger breasts than I do. Of course, once he removes the bra, the illusion will be shattered. Still, I pick one up to try on anyway.

I move on to the pajamas, choosing a warm pair for my mom, then practically run right into Edward when I turn around. He's got several lacy items in one hand and I look at him questioningly.

"Try these on," he orders.

"Do you even know my size?"

"Of course I do," he shrugs. "You're a 32B; I've seen your bras."

I head toward the fitting rooms in the back, finding a sales associate to unlock the door for me. Edward hands me the things he's picked out, then takes a seat on a chair outside, setting my bags on the floor beside him.

"You're gonna come out and model for me, right?"

"Yes," I roll my eyes.

Stepping into the fitting room, I set everything down on the small stool, then start looking at what he picked out for me. There's a slip, a tiny pair of babydoll pajamas with a matching thong and a black lace bustier. I have never worn anything like _any_ of those in my life. Just give me a soft pair of shorts and a tank top for bed.

"Seriously, Edward?" I mumble to myself. I don't even know why he picked up the pajamas, given that he prefers when I wear nothing to bed. I suppose the slip could be worn under a dress as well as to bed. It covers the most skin, so I start with it. It really is quite pretty, in a pale pink silk with a lacy halter top and T back.

Opening the door I first peek out, then step out once I see only Edward in the waiting area.

"Very nice," he whistles. "Turn around." I feel a little silly modeling for him, but I do it. "Gorgeous. You're getting that."

"OK, Edward," I chuckle, then head back into the room.

I try on the black floral babydoll top next. It ties across the chest then is open below in a flyaway style. I do feel sexy in it, but I'm not sure when I'd _ever_ wear this if not for Edward. And I doubt it would stay on me for long.

Again I don't see anyone else outside, so I step out to model for Edward. His mouth falls open a bit, which I assume is a good sign. I twirl around this time without waiting for him to ask.

"Holy shit," he breathes.

"So you like it?" I ask cheekily.

"You are _definitely_ getting that one."

I can't help it, his compliments feed my ego a bit as I waltz back into the room. I put on the bustier, struggling to do up the side zipper. This is probably the sexiest piece of lingerie I've ever put on. I think I look good in it, though I would never have picked it out for myself.

I can't come out of the fitting room in this though. I mean, it's just underwear! I peek out of the room, then motion to Edward. Bringing my bags with him, he steps inside and closes the door, just staring at me without saying a word.

"What do you think?" I finally ask, though the drool that's practically coming out of his mouth should be enough of an answer.

Without speaking, he reaches down, fingering the garter straps on the bottom of the bustier. From there his hands trail up my sides, stopping briefly to squeeze my breasts on their way up.

Grasping my face in his hands, he stares into my eyes for a moment. "So fucking sexy," he whispers before taking my lips in his.

We kiss for more than a few moments before he drops his hands to my shoulders, turning me so that he's standing behind me as we face the mirror. Catching my eyes, he moves his hands down until they're fiddling with the straps again.

I jump when I hear a knock at the door. "How are you doing?" the saleswoman asks. "Do you need any additional sizes?"

"I-I'm good," I call. "Everything fits well so far."

"Great! Let me know if you need anything," she says before I hear her footsteps walking away.

I catch Edward's intent just before he slides his right hand along my inner thigh. "Spread your legs," he whispers in my ear, then brushes his finger over the outside of my panties.

"Edward," I warn softly.

"You just need to be quiet," he says, slipping his fingers under the elastic edge of my panties. And so I stand there, staring into his eyes in the mirror as he fingers me just like he did in the movie theater a few months ago.

He kneads my left breast in his hand, and I grab hold of his arm to anchor myself, trying to keep quiet. I bite my lip to hold in my whimpers.

"Put your leg up," he whispers, and I quickly obey, setting one foot on the stool. That proves to be exactly what I need, as he uses the opportunity to speed up his motions and add another finger. Surely if there's anyone close by, they'll be able to hear the sloppy wet sounds his fingers are making!

"Come here," he whispers and I turn my head, letting him kiss me until I finally come. He takes his fingers away, sucking them into his mouth as I shakily put my foot back on the floor and unzip the bustier.

Edward takes it from me, then calmly picks up the other two items he'd picked out and walks out of the room. I sit on the stool for a moment as my breathing slows to normal before I realize I never tried on the bra.

I quickly put it on, decide to get it, then take it off and get dressed in my own clothes. By the time I come out with everything, I find Edward walking away from the cash register, a pink bag in his hand. "Merry Christmas," he says, swapping it to me for my other bags. "Trade you."

* * *

 **A/N:** Bella's "careless whisper" didn't turn out to be _too_ bad. Edward was quiet and just acting weird in general, so he definitely heard her, but he was back to normal by the following week. She's learned to be cautious though.

Bella got shot down a couple of times in this one, first inviting Edward to spend Thanksgiving with her family, and then later when she tried to ask about his vasectomy. We know now that he wasn't lying, but he isn't giving up the reason why he got it. And he made up for it in the end, getting her off in the dressing room.

Next up, Bella goes home to spend Christmas with her family. Will they find out about Edward this time?

 **Next chapter's title:** A 1985 power ballad, this band's only #1 hit.


	24. I Want to Know What Love Is

**Author Note:** Thanks for keeping the faith! I love the way you're forming theories for what has made Edward the way he is.

An easy title to guess this week! Congrats to **twifan7731** , **LSU15** , **MIRosebud** , **Capricorn75** , **shaz308** , **TrulyOutrageous** , **katbarpar** , **anitabonita2413** , **Judyblue95** , **101KoolKat** , **2loveybunnies** , **banned2010** , **Ballachicki** , **the real teacher** , **tigger5600** , **libbyg1980** and **astonmartin823** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Foreigner.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 24 – I Want to Know What Love Is_

Two days before Christmas, I leave for Forks directly after work, the trunk of my car full of colorful wrapped gifts. It's late when I arrive at my parents' house, but we still stay up until nearly 2am talking.

The following afternoon, Rosalie and Emmett drive down from Port Angeles with their kids, and the whole family descends on the Lodge for our annual Christmas Eve dinner with my dad's best friend, Billy Black, and his family — Jacob and his older sisters, Rachel and Rebecca, and their husbands and children. Billy's wife died in a car accident many years ago.

We used to just meet at my parents' house to swap gifts, until the number of young children grew past a half dozen, including Rachel's two daughters and Rebecca's 10-year-old son. Thanks to my dad's position as Chief of Police, we manage to snag the private room in back for our celebration.

Though I just saw him earlier this week, I hug Jake tightly when he shows up. He's brought Seth home to meet his family — the first time he's ever done that — and I'm so happy for him. Of course, I can't help but feel a little bit sad and sorry for myself, since I don't have what he has. I didn't bother asking Edward to come to Forks with me this time; I knew he'd refuse.

After we've finished our meals, I watch Seth as he shows Rachel's oldest how to use the new hair clips he got her, smiling at how patient he is with a five-year-old. "What's Edward doing for Christmas?" he asks me.

"Who's Edward?"

I freeze as I hear my sister's voice behind me. Seth gives me an apologetic look as I swallow thickly, then turn around to face the music. "A friend of mine."

"Mmm… Why have I never heard of him? We spent the better part of three days together at Thanksgiving and you never mentioned him once."

"We-we haven't been friends all that long," I tell a half-truth.

"Long enough for Seth to have met him." Rose raises an eyebrow and I know we're going to be discussing this later.

* * *

I get to sleep in for a bit on Christmas morning, as both of my siblings spend their mornings at home while their children open their gifts from Santa Claus. This is probably the last Christmas before Scotty and Justin learn the truth about Santa, but at least we'll still have Peyton next year, even if Justin does squeal to his brother.

Once they've all arrived at Mom and Dad's, the men and kids end up in the family room, while Alice and Rosalie help Mom and me with the cooking.

"So tell me more about this Edward," Rosalie says as she stirs a pan on the stove. _Shit._ I guess later is now. And in front of Mom and Alice.

"I told you — he's just a friend."

"Why do I feel like it's more than that? You looked awfully pale last night after Seth mentioned him. And besides, why would Seth care how a random friend of yours is spending Christmas?"

Mom and Alice stop what they're doing to stare at me, and I know I have to give them all at least a little bit of the truth, or they'll never leave me alone.

"He's not my boyfriend," I begin, wanting to be very clear about that. "But he is a… friend with benefits, I suppose."

"Really?" my mom gasps.

"Is that so unusual?" I protest. My mom is typically pretty liberal, so I'm shocked by her apparent judgment.

"Don't you want a real boyfriend?" she asks, sounding bewildered.

"Of course I do! But… it's not like there are guys falling at my feet left and right." She knows I never even had a date in high school. What teenage boy wants to waste his time dating the honor student who they suspect will never put out?

"So why aren't you and Edward dating?" Alice asks. "I mean, if he's good enough to sleep with…"

"It's complicated."

"You mean he's only interested in sex, not you," Rose says bluntly.

Sighing, I pull out one of the chairs at the kitchen table and take a seat. "Edward doesn't want a relationship with _any_ woman. But he's a really great guy, and we have a lot of fun together. We don't just have sex. We _are_ friends who spend time doing things together. He even came with me to the mall when I went Christmas shopping, and he helped me bake cookies last weekend."

"It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that you're happy with the status quo," Rose says. "I think you know you deserve better."

"Jake has been telling me that for several months," I admit, "But I don't see what's wrong with having a casual relationship; the alternative is to be alone, and that's no fun."

"Would you want more with this guy if he were interested?" Mom asks.

"Yes," I confess. "But that's not what he wants, at least not right now."

"Bella," Alice begins gently, "I know you probably won't think much of my advice, given that I've been with the same man for 15 years, but I've seen this kind of thing with friends of mine. Have you ever heard the phrase 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free'? As long as you're making it easy for Edward, things are never going to change."

"So what are you suggesting? That I end things with him?"

"If he's not giving you want you really want and what you _need_ , then yes," Rose says. "If you're waiting around for him to decide he wants more with you, it's not gonna happen."

"Whoa!" Jasper exclaims. I whip my head around to see him standing in the kitchen doorway. I wonder how much he overheard. "Looks like a serious conversation in here. Whose ass do I need to kick?"

"It's just some girl talk, Jazz," Alice says, walking over to him and distracting him with a kiss.

"Dad sent me to ask when dinner would be ready."

"Tell him to hold his horses," Mom says, shaking his head.

"About 15 minutes," I clarify. "Please let Emmett know we'll need his services soon to mash the potatoes."

* * *

The following afternoon, Rose, Alice and I hit up the stores in Port Angeles for the after-Christmas sales. It's been a tradition of ours since Rose got her first driver's license and a beat-up car.

Once we've finished shopping, Alice drives back to Forks to get dinner on the table for Jasper and their kids, while Rose invites me home with her so I can see the renovations that Emmett, who works in construction, has been doing to the new home they bought last year.

Rose's two boys claim they're sick of big family meals, so we just order a couple pizzas for dinner. When Peyton later falls asleep, Emmett takes the boys upstairs for their baths, leaving me alone with my sister.

"Have you thought any more about our discussion yesterday?" Rose asks, coming to sit beside me on the loveseat.

"Rose," I sigh. I'm tired of being judged for my life choices.

"How did you meet Edward?"

"We met through a mutual friend a couple of years ago," I give her the same story everyone at work got — just in case they ever compare notes.

"And how long have you been… seeing each other?" she asks.

"Since April, I guess."

"And nothing has changed in eight months?"

"That's not true!" I protest. "Things did change, back in August." I decide to leave out the reason for the change. "We started seeing each other more frequently then, hanging out more. Edward was the one who suggested we go to the Washington State Fair back in September. He invited _me_ to a Halloween costume party."

"But he still doesn't want to be your boyfriend?" she questions, sounding a bit perplexed.

"He says he likes 'variety'," I admit quietly, hoping I don't live to regret it.

"You mean he's sleeping with other women, too."

"I think so," I whisper.

Rose shakes her head. "I don't understand why you'd accept that, why you don't believe you deserve more than that."

"I know I deserve more, Rose!" I exclaim. "I'm just trying to be patient until Edward—"

"Oh honey, no," Rose says, almost condescendingly. "If you're waiting for that man to change, it's not going to happen."

"You don't know that."

"I _do_ know that. Men don't change, Bella." Settling back, she sighs, pursing her lips. "Do you remember my high school boyfriend?"

"Royce? Yeah, I remember him." Of course my sister once dated the starting quarterback for the Forks High football team.

"We broke up after he hit me a couple of times."

"Hit you?! Oh my God, you never said anything!"

"Of course not," she replies, shaking her head. "Dad would've killed him. Jasper found out about a year later and beat the crap out of him for me."

"Rose, I'm so sorry," I tell her quietly. "But I don't understand what this has to do with my situation. Edward would never physically hurt me."

"Royce stayed in Forks, and last year he was convicted and sent to prison for beating his wife," she explains. "All these years later and he's never changed."

"So you don't believe _anyone_ can change? Edward actually works as a psychologist; it's part of his job to help people make necessary changes in their lives."

"People who _want_ to change," Rose emphasizes. "If Edward is happy with his life the way it is, then he's not going to want to change."

"But what if he's not happy?" I ask, remembering Tanya's words to me.

"Has he told you that?" she counters.

"No," I admit, "But our… mutual friend thinks he's not happy and that I just need to be patient."

Rose starts shaking her head before I've even finished speaking. "I don't want to tell you that you're not getting any younger, because I'm older than you, but you can't just let life pass you by while you wait around for Edward to decide he wants more than sex with you. If he doesn't know you want more, then he has no incentive whatsoever to change."

I sit quietly, thinking about my sister's advice. I suppose Edward has always said that I shouldn't be afraid to tell him what I want. Of course, he's thinking sexually. If I tell him I want more, if I push him… what if it ends badly? There's a distinct possibility. Am I prepared for the consequences?

"Answer me this," Rose says suddenly. "If you have some sort of crisis, if you need emotional support, would Edward be the first person you call?"

"No," I whisper.

"If he isn't even on the short list, then you don't have a relationship, Bella. You just have sex." I flinch at her harsh words. "Maybe it's good sex — I don't know and I don't care — but you deserve more than that. You deserve to have a man you can count on to meet _all_ of your needs.

"Just think about what I said," she adds quietly when I don't respond. "I love you, you're my baby sister, and I know that the longer this continues, the more it's going to hurt when you finally realize that Edward isn't the right man for you. Not unless _he_ wants to make some changes."

* * *

As I drive home on Sunday, my mind goes over and over my conversation with my sister. Deep down, I know she's right. I know Jake is right. I do deserve more than what I'm getting from Edward right now, but our relationship isn't stopping me from finding someone else.

Or is it? It's not like I've turned down any date requests since Edward showed up in Seattle — there haven't been any. But I also haven't really gone out and looked for a man, especially since August.

Since I know Edward doesn't work on Mondays, and I'm taking the rest of the week off to use up my vacation days, I text him from the Bainbridge Island ferry, asking him to stop by tonight.

 **You just can't wait for my dick, huh? I'll be there.**

I frown as I read his response, which only strengthens my resolve to do this. Why can't I want to see _him_? Why does it always have to be about sex?

I know I'm asking for trouble by pushing him on this, but I've just got to hope that a bit of an ultimatum is enough to kick him into action. To make him realize that he wants more with me, too. To make him realize that he could lose me if he doesn't.

I told Edward a late enough time that I've pretty much got my suitcase emptied and my toiletries put away before I hear his knock at the door. I rush to the foyer, then stop and take a deep breath before opening the door.

"At your service," he greets me, stepping inside and pulling me into a steamy kiss before I can say a word.

"Edward, wait," I mumble as he moves on to sucking at my neck. "We need to talk."

He quickly straightens up, staring down at me. "Well, that sounds ominous."

"Let's sit," I suggest, walking into the living room. We both take seats on my couch and I wring my hands as I wonder how to even start this conversation.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

"My family found out about you," I blurt out. "Seth asked me how you were spending Christmas and my sister overheard. I had to admit to at least some facts about our relationship… such as it is."

I bite my lip, looking up at him. "My sister made me see the truth about some things that I've tried to ignore." I pause, taking a deep breath before charging ahead. "I want to fall in love with someone who will love me back. I want a boyfriend. I want someone that I can spend time with just hanging out doing nothing. I want someone who'll double date with my friends and come home with me to meet my family. I want someone that I can count on for support if I need it.

"And more than just wanting it, I _deserve_ a relationship like that."

Edward stares at me, his face blank, not saying a word for what feels like hours. "You're right," he finally says. "You deserve all of that and more. I wish you the best of luck in finding it."

Wait, what? You could hear a pin drop as we stare at each other, him expectantly and me trying to understand what the fuck he just said.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I whisper.

"I can't be that man for you, Bella. I didn't love Tanya and I don't believe I can love you either."

"You won't even try?" I choke out. Oh God, this is exactly what I'd feared the most.

"I'm sorry," he says fervently, taking my hands in his. "I said the first time I met you that you'd make some man a very lucky guy one day. The past few months with you have made that even more abundantly clear. But I'm not that man. I'm not your Prince Charming."

Bringing my hands to his mouth, he kisses my knuckles, then drops my hands and stands up. In shock, I stare up at him.

"I really do hope you find what you're looking for," he says quietly. I sit staring into space as he walks away. And as the front door closes behind him, the first tear drips from my eye.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, that finally happened. Let me know what you're thinking! While I'm expecting little sympathy for Bella, I'm also sure there are plenty of creative ideas for what you all want to do to Edward.

 **Next chapter's title:** It was this primarily 70s progressive rock band's only #1 hit and only 80s hit.

The next chapter will post **Monday** , since I have plans to go see _Mamma Mia_ after work on Tuesday and will get home very late. This week's show ended up cancelled shortly before it started due to an approaching thunderstorm. Boo.


	25. Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Author Note:** Wow, you guys really had a lot to say about the last chapter! I think everyone was expecting that to happen at some point, and no one was really surprised by the way it went down.

I tried to slot your reviews into Team Bella (pro-Bella/anti-Edward), Team Edward (pro-Edward/anti-Bella), or Team Switzerland (no preference, both at fault, can't blame either). The winner was Team Bella, with 45% of the vote. Team Edward was 20%, with Team Switzerland the remaining 35%.

An easy title to guess this week! Congrats to **KDMCAM** , **MIRosebud** , **shaz308** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **OWT** , **Ballachicki** , **anitabonita2413** , **GrandeDame** , **Capricorn75** , **Scattycow** , **Shana/googoocar1** , **NKubie** , **katbarpar** , **confusedmom** , **Scoobylover68** , **Ninkita** and **mnnlisa** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by Yes.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 25 – Owner of a Lonely Heart_

I don't know how long I sit there, tears streaming down my face, before I haul myself to my feet. I find my purse on the kitchen counter and pull my phone out of the side pocket with shaking fingers. Nearly blinded by my tears, I barely manage a text to Jake.

 _I need you_ , I type, before I collapse onto the floor.

I lose track of time as I sit there sobbing. I just keep hearing Edward's words repeating in my mind: _I don't believe I can love you either._

At some point I hear a knock at my front door, but I can't bring myself to get up and answer it.

"Bella!" Jake shouts, and moments later his arms are around me. "What the hell happened? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?"

"Ed-Edward," I whisper.

"What did that bastard do to you?" he asks angrily.

"He… left me," I choke out.

"Left you? Let's get you up off the floor, OK, honey?" He shifts his arm under my knees, then lifts me up into his strong arms. He settles us on the couch with me on his lap, running his fingers through my hair as I cling to him, still sobbing.

"Tell me what happened, sweetheart," he says quietly.

"R-Rose made me see that I de-deserve more than what he gives me," I cry, nuzzling myself closer to his chest.

"As if I haven't been telling you that for months," he mumbles.

"Not… helping, Jake."

"Sorry," he says apologetically, stroking my hair. "So what happened? You told him that?"

I look up at his face, blinking back my tears. "Y-yes. I asked him to stop by and I told him what I want in a boyfriend. I thought… I hoped… that he'd want to try."

"And he didn't?"

"No," I whisper. "He said he can't be my Prince Charming. And then he left," I wail.

Just reliving it is enough to start another hysterical crying fit. Remembering how cold he sounded as he wished me luck — and as he told me he could never love me.

"I knew this would happen. I fucking knew it," Jake says angrily. "You should've walked away when he gave you the chance."

"I thought he'd change his mind! Tanya said… Oh God, she told me it'd be bad if I pushed him and I didn't listen. It's all my fault!" I cry. "I let Rose convince me that he'd never change if I wasn't honest with him about what I want."

"Rose was right, honey. I've told you, the guy had a fucking sweet deal. He was never gonna give up all that pussy."

"Jake!" I yell. God, I do not want to hear that right now.

"Edward was never anything but honest with you, Bella. He told you he wasn't going to commit, but you romanticized it in your head, thinking you could change him. I'm not blaming you; it seems to be a problem with your entire gender. I thank God I'm gay sometimes."

"Tanya said she didn't think he was happy," I remind him. "She was living with him — don't you think she should know?"

"Like I said, your entire gender thinks your love can change a man. Newsflash, honey: We're not gonna change unless we want to."

"That's what Rose said," I acknowledge. "And I thought… I thought he'd try to change rather than risk losing me. I guess I overestimated any feelings he had for me."

"Has he ever _told_ you he has feelings for you?"

"Not in so many words," I admit. "But he told me I was different."

Jake sighs. "And I think you were. I mean, he did spend a lot of time with you, but… if he said he didn't want a girlfriend, then…"

"I should've listened," I finish.

"He's the one losing here, you know. He's missing out on a terrific person."

"You have to say that. It's in the best friend code."

"It's the _truth_. You're a great catch. If only I liked pussy."

I slap Jake on the chest, leaning away from him, and he brings his huge hands up to cup my face, wiping my tears with his thumbs.

"You look exhausted, Bella. Why don't you go get ready for bed and I'll come tuck you in?"

I roll my eyes, but I agree, then climb off his lap and stand up. In my bedroom, I open the drawer with my PJs, freezing when I see the babydoll pajamas that Edward bought for me. Pulling them out, I hold them up to my chest, remembering the night just a week ago when I wore them for Edward.

He'd actually spent the day here, helping me bake my nine different varieties of cookies — Christmas gifts for friends, coworkers and family. We had a lot of fun, and after I came out of my bathroom in these, he practically worshipped my body, licking and nibbling until I thought I'd lose my mind.

And then he opened the tie across the chest like a child pulling the ribbon on his Christmas present, his eyes giddy with anticipation. He took me in so many positions that night that I lost count, claiming that he had to save up to last through the weekend while I'd be away. I didn't know then that it'd be the last time…

"Bella! Bella, it's OK, it's OK, sweetheart."

In a daze, I stare up at Jacob, realizing I'm on the floor again, leaning against the foot of my bed.

"What's that in your hand?" he asks, and I open my stiff fingers. "What the fuck is this?" Jake takes the scrap of fabric from me, then drops it like a hot potato. "Did Edward buy you that?"

"Yes," I whisper. "When we went Christmas shopping, he picked it out for me at Victoria's Secret."

Jake shakes his head, then picks up the fabric again, getting up and putting it back in the drawer. "I put it on the bottom so you won't have to see it," he says, handing me a pair of flannel PJs.

After he's helped me up, I walk into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. Frightened by my appearance in the mirror, I wash my face but it's still red and blotchy. Once I've brushed my teeth, I come back out to see that Jake has already pulled down the covers on my bed. I crawl in and he lies down on top of the covers, then pulls me into his arms.

"Do you need me to stay with you tonight?" he asks quietly.

"You have to work in the morning. Just… stay until I fall asleep?"

"All right," he agrees, stroking his hand through my hair. "I love you, Bells."

"Love you too."

* * *

I'm really glad I don't have to work all week. Every day I just sit around in my pajamas, reading books on my Kindle. Jake and Seth show up with food every evening to make sure I'm eating.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Seth asks on Thursday night.

"That's OK," I shake my head. "I'm not sure I'd be welcome at a gay bar."

"Lots of straight people go to gay bars on New Year's Eve," Jake says. "They know we throw the best parties."

I give him a small smile. "Thanks, but no. Maybe I should've waited to talk to Edward until after tonight. That way at least I could be ringing in 2016 in a lot more exciting way than flipping between the different specials on TV."

"You'd be ringing it in with a bang at least," Jake says with a wink and I glare at him. "Too soon?"

"Definitely too soon."

Seth suddenly stands and roots around in my fridge. "You don't have any alcohol. Want us to go buy you a bottle of Bailey's?"

"So I can spend the night getting drunk?" He just shrugs in response. "I-I'd like that, actually."

"I'll go right now," he says, giving my shoulder a squeeze as he passes by.

"He's a great catch," I tell Jake once Seth has left.

"Yeah, he is," he replies with a smile. "And my whole family even loves him."

"That's great, Jake. I'm really happy for you," I tell him genuinely.

"It'll happen for you one day too, Bells. You have to believe that."

"I do," I whisper. I just don't know if I'll ever find another man who can make me feel the way Edward could.

* * *

By mid-January, Jake has made it his mission in life to get me to snap out of my funk. And he thinks that exercise will do the trick, so he insists that I stop by his gym after work for a personal training session.

I hate exercise, though I can tolerate riding a stationary bike, where I can read on my Kindle while I'm exercising. Jake thinks I need to work out with weight machines though.

By the time he's through with me, I'm dripping with sweat and ready to kill him for suggesting this. I run my forearm over my face, letting out a long breath.

As I stand up, I freeze in my place, because the man wearing shorts and a tank top and lifting free weights that probably weigh more than I do looks awfully familiar. He sets the weights down and I quickly turn my head, hoping he doesn't spot me.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I tell Jake.

"We're not done yet," he protests. "You're just finished with the machines."

I groan, trying to keep my head turned as he leads me over to the treadmills. I wish I could hide behind my hair, but it's pulled back in a ponytail.

"Bella? Is that you?" a male voice calls. I cringe, plastering a smile on my face as I turn around. "It is you, hey!"

"H-Hi, Tyler," I greet him quietly.

"I haven't seen you at the club lately, though I've seen Edward there a couple of times."

Tyler may as well have punched me in the gut. I stagger backwards, until I run into Jake's hard body. He quickly puts his hand on my arm to steady me.

"What club is he talking about, Bells?"

Tyler's eyes dart between us and I see the moment it registers on his face that Jake isn't just my trainer.

He gives me an apologetic look. "I just stuck my foot in it, didn't I?"

"What kind of club?" Jake asks again, and I can only imagine the menacing look on his face.

"It's a lifestyle club," Tyler explains quietly.

"What the fuck is a lifestyle club?"

Tyler chuckles nervously. "That's the more PC name for a swingers club."

"You let Edward take you to a swingers club, Isabella?" Jake whisper-yells. "Jesus Christ… getting rid of him was the best thing that could've happened to you."

"You and Edward broke up?"

"They were never actually together," Jake answers for me. "At least, he wasn't her _boyfriend_."

"Oh… I thought… I mean, you two seemed to be…" Tyler stops, shaking his head. "I'll shut up now. Sorry for my big mouth."

He starts to back away, but my masochistic side won't let him. "Y-you saw Edward?" I question. Tyler nods carefully. "Did he seem OK?" I ask, hoping that he'll say Edward looks as bad as I do.

"I didn't talk to him last weekend, but…" He shrugs. I know better than to ask if he was alone. "Take care, Bella."

Once he's walked away, I turn to face Jacob. "I'm gonna take that shower now," I whisper.

"I'm coming home with you," he says sternly, and I know I have no choice in the matter.

I quickly shower and get dressed, then stealthily slip out of the gym, trying to avoid Jake. And Tyler, if he's still around.

Just to piss off Jake, I run through the Taco Bell drive-thru on the way home. I unlock my door, nearly jumping out of my skin when I find Jake sitting at my kitchen table waiting for me. Why did I give him a key, again?

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!" I yell at him, leaving my bag of beefy-cheesy goodness on the kitchen table before taking my coat off.

"What the fuck are you eating?" he moans, though I studiously ignore him while I grab two bottles of water from the fridge.

Sitting down, I pull out my cheesy gordita crunch, unwrapping it and showing it to Jake. "There's lettuce on it." He just shakes his head.

"You seriously went to a swingers club with Edward?" I nod, since my mouth is full. "How many times?" he asks. I hold up three fingers.

"Is that where the Halloween party was that you were so secretive about?" he asks.

Swallowing, I nod. "Yes, it was at the club."

"So Edward goes to this place a lot?"

"I-I don't know. He and Tanya belonged to one in Chicago, too."

"OK, I know I'm pretty open-minded, but that shit's just gross… swapping partners and having sex with random strangers? God knows what kind of diseases you can catch there."

"They require members to get STD tests every six months," I enlighten him. "And anyone having sex at the club must use a condom. Edward said it's safer than random bar hook-ups."

Jake narrows his eyes. "You seem to know a lot about this."

I shrug. "Edward bought me a six-month membership for my birthday," I confess. "Before that, I just went once as his guest."

"Did you ever actually… swap?" he asks. I just stare back at him. "Tyler?"

"I didn't have sex with Tyler, but… he joined Edward and me."

"You had a threesome with two men." I nod. "Part of me wants to tell you how foolish that is, and the other part wants to high-five you," Jake replies, shaking his head. "At least I can say you've got good taste in men. Tyler is _ripped_."

"It-it wasn't that big of a deal. I don't think it's something I'd ever do again."

"So why else go to the club?"

"Promise you won't judge?" Jake raises an eyebrow. "There's a room that I've named the Room of Sin, where couples have sex out in the open. Ed-Edward and I have done that a couple of times. I like it, Jake," I confess. "I like to be watched. He-he says I'm an exhibitionist."

"Damn!" he exclaims. "Who knew how kinky you'd turn out to be?"

"You're not gonna judge me, are you?"

"No judgment. I think it's cool that you're exploring your sexuality. It's not necessarily a bad thing."

Jake watches me as I finish up my dinner. "I have no idea how you can put that shit in your body. So… I guess we know Edward isn't sitting at home heartbroken."

"Please, Jake," I protest. "I don't want to talk about him." If we do, I'll probably end up sobbing in my best friend's arms again.

* * *

Valentine's Day should be fucking banned. It serves no purpose other than to make a lot of money for the greeting card and floral industries while making those of us who are single feel like second-class citizens.

I spend the day in my comfy PJs, ordering delivery from my favorite Middle Eastern place around 5pm when I get hungry. Of course that doesn't help my mood, since it reminds me of Edward — he brought takeout from the restaurant the first time he came to my apartment.

Once I've eaten, I get out the bottle of Bailey's that Seth bought me on New Year's Eve and pour myself a glass over ice. And then another glass. And another. Anything to make me forget what day it is. To make me forget that I am once again alone.

I'm sprawled on my couch listening to Adele when I think I hear a knock at my door. I _told_ Jake that he and Seth should just go do their own thing tonight and not worry about me. Clearly he didn't listen.

Sighing, I stand up, swaying a bit on my feet, then head toward the door, throwing it open.

And Edward stares back at me.

* * *

 **A/N:** Jake to the rescue! And he _tried_ not to say, 'I told you so.' Jake is also now aware of everything Bella's been up to. He gave her a bit of crap for it, but in the end, he had to admire her taste in men, like any gay bestie. She's also finally owning up to her own kink more than she has before.

What should Bella do now? See what Edward has to say for himself, or slam the door in his face?

The next chapter will be a bonus update on **Wednesday** , and it's EPOV! We'll be back to Bella later in the week.

 **Next chapter's title:** I have to admit that I haven't settled on the best EPOV title yet. **GrandeDame** jokingly suggested _Just a Gigolo_ for Chapter 23, and so that's my current title, unless… Throw out your ideas and I'll choose my favorite!


	26. Just a Gigolo-I Ain't Got Nobody (EPOV)

**Author Note:** Once again you all had a lot to say about the last chapter! It looks like the "slam the door" crowd crushed the "hear him out" group by almost a 4-to-1 margin.

Moosals reminded me on Monday that _Just a Gigolo_ is usually paired with _I Ain't Got Nobody_ , so that pretty much sealed the deal, though there were some strong contenders from the choices thrown out! These are old songs, but they were covered by Van Halen singer David Lee Roth in 1985.

No rain-out last night, so I got home at 11:30. Apologies if I haven't gotten to your last review yet.

Thanks to moosals, edwardisaputz and EdwardsFirstKiss for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 25 1/2 – Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody (EPOV)_

 **Could you come by my place around 8? – B**

My dick's already twitching as I smile at the text from Bella. She's been visiting her family in Forks for Christmas, and I wasn't expecting to see her until New Year's Eve on Thursday. If she wants to see me tonight, I'm more than happy to accommodate her.

 _You just can't wait for my dick, huh? I'll be there. – E_

With a spring in my step, I leave the workout room in my building, heading back to my condo to shower off the sweat and make myself a bite to eat before heading to Bella's apartment in Bellevue.

I park in a visitor's spot and sprint up the stairs to knock on her door. When she opens it, I can't help the smile that takes over my face at the sight of her.

"At your service," I greet her, stepping inside and pulling her into a kiss. I slip my tongue between her surprised lips, getting reacquainted with her mouth as if it's been a month since I've seen her, not just a week.

"Edward, wait," Bella mumbles after I've moved on to sucking at her neck. "We need to talk."

I quickly straighten up, staring down at her. "Well, that sounds ominous."

"Let's sit," she suggests, walking into the living room. I take a seat next to her on the couch, watching in confusion as she wrings her hands nervously.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

"My family found out about you," she rushes out. "Seth asked me how you were spending Christmas and my sister overheard. I had to admit to at least some facts about our relationship… such as it is."

She bites her lip, looking up at me. "My sister made me see the truth about some things that I've tried to ignore." She pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath, and I start to feel a tightening in the pit of my stomach.

"I want to fall in love with someone who will love me back. I want a boyfriend. I want someone that I can spend time with just hanging out doing nothing. I want someone who'll double date with my friends and come home with me to meet my family. I want someone that I can count on for support if I need it.

"And more than just wanting it, I _deserve_ a relationship like that."

I stare at Bella for a long moment, not saying a word. I expected this, of course — at least someday. I knew she wasn't like me; I knew she'd one day need more than I could ever possibly give her.

"You're right," I grudgingly admit. "You deserve all of that and more. I wish you the best of luck in finding it."

I stare at her expectantly, nervously, given the look on her face. She almost appears to not understand that I'm giving her the out that she wants.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she whispers.

"I can't be that man for you, Bella," I clarify. "I didn't love Tanya and I don't believe I can love you either."

"You won't even try?" she chokes out. What on earth did she expect? Have I not been straight with her from the beginning?

"I'm sorry," I apologize, taking her small, soft hands in mine. "I said the first time I met you that you'd make some man a very lucky guy one day. The past few months with you have made that even more abundantly clear. But I'm not that man. I'm not your Prince Charming."

Bringing her hands to my mouth, I kiss her knuckles, wishing I could take away the tears shining in her eyes. I've been nothing but honest with her about who I am; it was never my intention to hurt her. Dropping her hands, I get to my feet.

"I really do hope you find what you're looking for," I tell her quietly, as she stares up at me. And then I walk out of her life.

* * *

Two am, I toss and turn for the hundredth time, trying to fall asleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Bella's face from earlier tonight, before I turned and walked away. She looked… devastated.

I know I'm the one who put that look on her face, but really, what more could I have done to be clear with her that I would never settle down with one woman?

I've never in my life gotten pleasure from hurting another human being. The whole reason I prefer to stick to swingers clubs for hook-ups is so that I'll find like-minded women. I don't enjoy seeing the look on a woman's face when she expects me to exchange numbers after one night of sex and I turn her down, so I generally stay away from women who might want different things to me.

But not Bella; I could never stay away from her. That first time in Florida, I told myself it was OK, even though I could clearly see that she was different. She lived 2,000 miles away; obviously she'd never expect anything more from me than that one night. Same when I ran into her again the following year. I made sure to not give her any false hopes when I let her go in the morning.

When Tanya got that job offer in Seattle, the wheels started turning in my head. I'd never particularly cared for Chicago, and to be honest, I'd been ready to leave for several months. If I moved with Tanya, I could start over… again.

And of course, I knew that Bella lived in Seattle. Despite my rule about no repeats, there was just something about her that appealed to me. She was sweet and innocent, but she had this untapped kinky side that excited me. Every time we'd had sex previously, it was incredible. I couldn't seem to get enough of her.

But would she want anything to do with me, knowing that we had no future? Admittedly, I took the coward's way out and let Tanya approach her first, after our move, to feel her out. When Tanya reported back that Bella had said I could contact her, I wasted little time.

The first hint of trouble came when I first visited Bella at her apartment, when she asked me what I wanted from her. I explained to her once more than I was only looking for something casual, and she seemed to be on board with that.

It was only after Tanya and I ended things that I realized Bella _wasn't_ on board. While she never said the exact words, it became obvious to me that she expected to step into Tanya's shoes. I gently told her that I didn't _want_ a girlfriend, and I'd thought she understood that we could never be like that. I thought — and hoped — that any feelings she harbored for me would lessen over time.

I was kidding myself.

With a sigh, I climb out of bed, stumbling tiredly to the kitchen. I pull a cold bottle of water out of the fridge, take a long drink and remember the last time I had Bella on the counter in front of me. I was making her breakfast when she came into the kitchen in nothing but a towel. Needless to say, I burned our eggs.

I need to get her out of my head, and I know just the way to do it.

* * *

The following day, Monday, is my day off. After working out, I cancel the dinner reservations I'd made for Bella and myself for Thursday night at the SkyCity Restaurant in the Space Needle. The lifestyle club opens at six, and so after an early dinner, I drive out there. I find the first halfway attractive, willing woman and fuck her brains out upstairs.

After that, I get back into the groove, enjoying the single life in a way I haven't since before Tanya and I made our arrangement over three years ago.

But as the weeks pass, I find that I'm missing Bella more and more. It's not necessarily the sex that I'm missing — I'm getting plenty of _that_ — but _her_. I miss trying new restaurants with her on Saturday nights. I miss our conversations about anything and everything. I miss spending the night wrapped around her. I miss spending the entire day with her as I discover the ins and outs of my new city.

Too bad I didn't listen to the warning bells going off in my brain over the past eight months. I let myself get too close to Bella, spend too much time with her. The thing was, I enjoyed her company — much more than I ever did Tanya's. Bella was smart and funny, and she still had this small-town innocence, no matter how much I may have corrupted her.

I miss all of that.

I haven't spoken with Tanya since she stuck her nose in where it didn't belong and tried to convince me to settle down with Bella. With Tanya and Bella now out of my life, I realize that I have no real friends to speak of — at least, none in Seattle. I had a couple of buddies back in Chicago, but since I moved away, our friendships have dwindled to the occasional email or following their exploits with their families on Facebook.

This prickly feeling crawls over my skin as I realize I'm completely alone in the world once again. I should damn well be used to it, but it's been awhile now since I've literally had no one on my side. Looking around at my empty condo, I almost feel like the walls are closing in on me.

 _This is what you wanted, you idiot_ , I remind myself. Only it doesn't feel as good as I remember.

I pick up my phone to text Bella, but then let my finger hover over the screen. What exactly am I hoping to accomplish here? Bella is not going to let me back into her life, at least not in the same way we were before.

I think back on her impassioned speech after Christmas, to the things she said she wants. I could give her… most of what she's asking for, I think. But I can't give her what she wants and deserves the most: love.

It's just not an emotion I'm capable of, and I haven't been for a long time. I don't believe there's any changing that, not after so many years of keeping myself closed off. I've never lied to Bella, and I can't start now. I can't promise her something that I can never give; that wouldn't be fair to her.

My phone turns itself back off and I toss it across the couch in frustration. No matter how much I miss her, I'm not going to hurt this amazing woman any further by waltzing back into her life with false promises.

* * *

I check my Calendar on my phone while I get dressed on Friday morning. On the top of today's page, I see the reminder that it's Tanya's 38th birthday. We haven't spoken in months, but maybe I could rekindle the friendship we used to have. I text her a "happy birthday" message, though I don't really expect a reply, not if she's still with that guy with jealousy issues.

If she's not, maybe she'd be interested in a quick fuck. Tanya and I had our differences, and her little habits annoyed me more and more the longer we lived together, but she's always been a hellcat in the sack. The things she can do with her mouth…

Shortly after I get home from work, my phone rings, Tanya's name showing on the caller ID. I can't help smiling as I swipe the phone to answer it; maybe she's no longer with him, after all.

"Hello."

" _Hello, Edward. Thank you for the text… I've gotta say, I was surprised to hear from you._ "

"I still consider you a friend, Tanya," I reply. "Did you have a nice birthday?"

" _It could've been better,_ " she sighs. " _I'm in Cincinnati._ " I guess that's a no to a hook-up tonight.

"Business?" I chuckle.

" _Yes. My first birthday in years as part of a committed couple, and I'm thousands of miles away from my man,_ " she gripes.

"So you're still with him?"

" _He has a name: Garrett._ "

"I remember," I sigh. "I have to admit, I didn't expect you to last this long in a monogamous relationship."

" _I don't know whether or not I should be offended by that,_ " Tanya grumbles. " _It's not that I've never wanted to have a committed relationship. The last couple of times I tried, I worked too many hours and the men couldn't accept where they fell on my list of priorities._

" _You know_ _I enjoy sex too much to remain celibate when I'm single, but it doesn't_ _have_ _to be with multiple partners. Since I've been with Garrett, I've found that sex is so much better when there are deep feelings involved._ "

I remain silent, unsure whether or not I believe any of that.

" _How are things with Bella?_ "

"Bella and I… we aren't seeing each other anymore," I admit.

" _Oh, Edward… What happened?_ "

"She wants more than I can give her, Tan."

" _Bullshit. You can give her anything she wants or needs._ "

"No," I reply through clenched teeth. "I can't."

" _Again, I call bullshit. Look, I don't know why you've closed yourself off, I don't know what you're so afraid of, but I do know that you're a goddamned therapist._ "

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask angrily.

" _It means that you literally help people change themselves and their lives for the better — every single day! Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone can help_ _you_ _?_ "

"You think I should go find my own shrink?" I ask in disbelief. "I've been through therapy already, you know. I had to talk to someone when I was doing my clinicals in grad school."

" _That was years ago, Edward. And obviously your therapist did a piss-poor job of helping you… or maybe you just weren't ready to be helped. I know it's scary, to peel back your protective shell and deal with whatever issues you have, but… the end result could be so worth it._

" _Just think about what I said,"_ Tanya adds quietly when I remain silent. " _I still care about you as my friend, and I don't want to see you end up a lonely old man. Bella is a special woman—_ "

"I know that," I interrupt, my voice raspy. "She deserves… the best. But that isn't me."

" _It could be,_ " Tanya says softly. " _If you want it badly enough._ "

* * *

Over the next few days, I can't get Tanya's words out of mind. While I initially scoffed at the idea of finding a therapist of my own, I start to wonder if it's possible to find someone who can help me move past the fears that paralyze me. Could I really become the man Bella deserves?

But then I remember what I do with my own patients, how I make them dig deep to find the root cause of their issues, which are almost always from childhood. I closed the door for good on that part of my life when I left Portland — I do _not_ wish to revisit it.

Just thinking about the past causes my head to spin, my heart to race, and that damn prickly feeling all over my skin. While I don't remember my first heartbreak, I vividly remember the second… and the third, and every one after that, until the day I learned to shut my emotions down, to view everything through a detached lens.

As I get this sick feeling in my stomach, I get up off the couch, opening the door to the balcony. I step outside, taking in deep lungsful of the cold January air as I lean over the railing, until I no longer feel like I'm going to puke.

Straightening up, I run my hand through my hair, exhaling a heavy breath. I'm no longer a child, I can work through this. Maybe… maybe I can call someone and get an appointment, just _try_ it once and see how it goes. I'd be the first to tell one of my patients that there's no shame in asking for help.

There's only one thing I'm conveniently forgetting, I realize as I head back inside. I like sex. I like sex with a variety of women. I've never had a monogamous relationship. Even if… even if I can work through everything else, would I be able to truly commit to Bella? To be with her and only her for the rest of my life? I just don't know. Maybe… maybe she'd be OK with an open relationship. Not necessarily letting me have sex with whomever I please _whenever_ I please, but… maybe we could occasionally invite a third person into our bed — male or female. Fair is fair, after all.

But a lot needs to happen before that discussion.

* * *

It takes me until Thursday to get up the courage to ask my boss for the names of any therapists he would recommend who specialize in my particular issues. Of course, I don't tell him it's for _me_. Instead, I claim that it's for the ubiquitous "friend" that I feel too close with to be able to help him myself. He promises to get back to me.

I'm a little shocked when he stops by my office first thing on Friday morning with three names and their phone numbers written on a piece of paper. I spend my lunch hour at my desk, eating a sandwich from the sub place next door while I Google the names. I focus more on one than the others — an older man, in his mid-50s, and very well regarded. And since he's affiliated with the University of Washington, his office is located conveniently close to mine.

As I pull out my phone to call his office, bile rushes up to my throat. Hand over my mouth, I rush down the hallway, just making it to the bathroom in time to expel my lunch into the toilet. _Fuck_ , I curse as I stand up, wiping at my mouth. I head back to my office for my toothbrush and toothpaste, then splash some cold water on my face before grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge under my desk.

If this is how I feel just trying to call for an appointment, is therapy really something I can handle? I need to do this though, work on my issues once and for all. For myself, as well as to have any chance of getting Bella back in my life.

I scrub my hands over my face, then pick up my phone again, dialing the number before I can talk myself out of it. The receptionist who answers has a pleasant voice, which makes me feel slightly more at ease as I hesitantly explain that I'm looking for someone to talk to. I make an initial two-hour appointment for a week from Monday, then give her my email address so that she can send me a form to fill out with a basic introduction to who I am and what I'm looking to get out of therapy.

I throw up again reading the questions on the form that evening.

I finally fill out the form on Monday, then find somewhere nearby to fax it back to the office. That prickly feeling is back and I need… I need to… I need to fuck.

I'm at the club within five minutes of the time it opens its doors. Grabbing a beer, I sit at a table, looking for the first woman who catches my eye. It doesn't take long before I'm approached by a married couple around my age. The husband likes to watch his wife get fucked by other men. She's not bad looking, so we go upstairs, where I make her scream while her husband sits on a chair jerking off to the show we're putting on.

Afterward, I get another beer, then move onto the dance floor. I dance with several women, but I'm not up for another round quite yet, so I turn down their offers to go upstairs. As I step into the next room for a break, I see the back of a woman as she writhes on the lap of a man on one of the couches. As my eyes zero in on her long brown hair, I wonder… is that Bella?!

I walk quickly in their direction, tapping her on the shoulder. When the woman turns around and looks up at me with confused blue eyes, I realize my mistake — she's not Bella. She is, however, pretty damn hot and unabashedly eyeing me up and down.

The three of us end up in one of the semi-private rooms together. My dick twitches in excitement when the woman — Gianna — says she loves to take on two men at once. It's been a few years since I've had the pleasure of truly sharing a woman, so I'm more than happy to oblige.

I'm exhausted by the time I make it home that night. I shower off the stench of sweat and sex, then collapse into bed naked, my mind far away from Portland and an endless parade of disappointments.

* * *

On the afternoon of my first appointment, I drive to the office, giving my name to the receptionist. She's younger than I'd expected from her voice and clearly giving me the once over. It's probably against the rules for her to fuck a patient though.

As I sit in the waiting area, I finally experience what my own patients go through. Most of me wants to get up and leave, but I have to remember why I'm doing this. I have to remember _who_ I'm doing this for.

"Dr. Cullen?"

I look up at the round, balding man, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie. "I'm Jason Jenks."

Standing, I shake his hand with my clammy one, unable to return his greeting through the lump in my throat.

I follow Dr. Jenks into his office, and he offers me a bottle of water, which I gratefully accept. Twisting off the cap, I take a long sip, then let out a deep breath. He fiddles with a piece of paper on his desk, and I stiffen when I realize it's the form I was asked to fill out.

"I thought we could begin by going over this, all right?"

* * *

Two hours later, I walk out sweaty and shaking, with a card showing my next several appointments; Dr. Jenks wants to see me twice a week for a while.

I don't remember the drive home, yet somehow I make it without hitting anything. Once I'm safely inside my own condo, I collapse onto my bed, shivering. I don't like going back to that dark place, even in my mind. I know it's necessary, I know I need to start with what caused my issues in the first place, but God, I feel like such a pussy with the way I'm reacting to nothing more than fucking old memories.

When I open my eyes, it's dark and I'm disoriented, having no idea of the time. I pick up my phone to see that it's nearly 7pm, then flop back onto the bed. My stomach growls and I know I need to get up and start taking care of myself.

After splashing some water on my face, I head out to an Irish pub near Pike Place Market. I take a seat at the bar and order a Guinness while I look over the menu.

I'm on my second beer and nearly finished with my meal when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I slowly turn around, looking back at a woman with obviously dyed blonde hair. She kind of reminds me of a younger Tanya: attractive but fake.

"You're all alone," she states, rather than asks.

"I am."

"Perhaps you'd like to join us?" she suggests, nodding toward a table where two other young women sit watching us intently.

From the way she's touching my arm, the way she's standing a little too close, the way she keeps pushing her tits toward me… I know she wants me. Hell, I could probably have all three of them. It's tempting… God, is it tempting when I haven't gotten laid in a week.

Except that my fucking shrink has banned me from having sex. My fault for being honest about what I did after I sent in the information sheet.

 _It's not like he ever needs to find out_ , the devil on my shoulder tells me. But I'd know. And I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my… recovery.

"It's been a long day," I tell the woman, not really lying. "I just want to go home and crash."

"If you change your mind…" she trails off, turning back toward her friends. She swings her hips in an exaggerated manner and oh yeah, I can't help the tightening in my pants as I watch her departure. I need to get the fuck out of here.

"Could I get the check, please, man?" I ask as the bartender takes my plate.

Tossing a few bills onto the bar, I head for the door. I refuse to glance back over my shoulder at the women. Outside I stop, taking a deep breath, then turn toward my building.

* * *

On my fourth visit with Dr. Jenks, he hands me the usual bottle of water, then sits back, his hands folded together on top of his desk.

"It's time to talk about why you're here," he begins.

"Because I want to get better."

"All right," he nods, "But why now? What made you finally decide to seek help after all this time?"

An image of Bella's face appears in my mind — well, several images. There's her sweet and innocent face looking up at me through big brown eyes from the dinner table in Florida as Tanya introduced me. There's her flushed, sweaty face, lips parted as I make her come.

There's her devastated face as I walked away from her.

"Bella," I rasp.

It's nearly the end of the hour by the time I've finished telling my therapist everything about my relationship with Bella and answering any questions he had. He sits back in his chair again, eyes narrowed as he stares back at me.

"And so you haven't seen or spoken to Bella since just after Christmas."

"That's right," I nod.

"If she's as wonderful as you describe, how long do you think she's going to stay single?" he asks.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I feel a clenching in my chest at his words.

"I mean, how long are you planning to avoid seeing Bella? Until you're done with therapy? You realize that could be months, Edward — maybe even years. What if she's moved on in the meantime?"

"I can't go to her now!" I protest. "Not when I can't promise her anything. It's not fair to her."

"There's nothing you can promise?" he asks, raising one eyebrow.

"No," I reply quietly. "She wants — she _deserves_ — to be loved, and I don't know if I can ever feel that emotion."

"Guess again, Edward. What did Bella say to you the last time you saw her?"

I think back to our last conversation, to Bella's impassioned plea for someone to be her boyfriend, in every sense of the word. I _can't_ promise her all of that.

But then I remember her choked words: " _you won't even try?_ "

"I can promise to try," I whisper.

* * *

Agreeing to go see Bella is much easier than actually doing it. What if I show up and she slams the door in my face? Maybe I need some sort of grand gesture… but what?

On Sunday morning, I take advantage of the decent weather to walk down to Pike Place Market to pick up some fresh food for the week. One stand is selling all kinds of flowers, from single red roses to huge bouquets.

"Roses for your sweetheart, Sir? It's Valentine's Day, you know."

Valentine's Day… shit, I'd forgotten. Or maybe I've just never cared to know in the first place.

"I don't have a sweetheart," I tell the elderly man. "But there is a woman…"

He holds up a bouquet with at least a dozen red roses, and while it's beautiful, it just doesn't feel like Bella to me. She's not that girly-girl who would be impressed by something like that. Instead, she would likely think I'm trying to buy her affection.

"I'll take one of the singles," I decide. Is showing up at her place on Valentine's Day enough of a grand gesture?

Returning home, I put my purchases away, leaving the rose in some water until I can take it to Bella. Until I can grow the balls to take it to Bella.

I could go now, but… what if she's visiting her family for the weekend? Better to wait until later this evening, when she'll be more likely to be home.

While I wait, I busy myself cleaning my condo from top to bottom. Since Bella hasn't been coming over, I haven't felt the need to straighten things up. I've still done the laundry, so I've had something to wear, but that's about it. If this works, if she lets me back into her life, I can't have my condo looking like the worst stereotype of a bachelor pad.

By five o'clock, I've run out of things to clean, so I start making myself some dinner. After I've eaten, I put the leftovers in the fridge and dishes in the dishwasher, then shower and change into something less grungy.

It's now or never.

I take the rose out of the water, laying it across the passenger seat as I climb into my car. I almost turn back three times on the drive to Bellevue, but I know Jenks is right — I can't expect Bella to wait around for me forever. If I want her to be a part of my life, I need to let her know that, before she moves on to some other, more deserving schmuck.

I know I need to tell Bella my story, from the beginning. I need to explain to her how I came to be the way I am. I have to hope that it will be easier to say it now, after I've just spent the last two weeks going over it with a therapist who often interrupted to ask how I "feel" about something or other.

First, I just need her to listen and understand that I never meant to hurt her, and then… I can only hope that I've earned some good karma in a past life and she'll give me another chance to be the man that she needs.

I pull into a visitor's spot at Bella's apartment, in a move so similar to that day seven weeks ago. This time, I walk slowly up the stairs, wondering if I'm climbing the stairs to the rest of my life, or to my own doom.

 _God, you're so fucking dramatic, Cullen_ , I chastise myself. Reaching Bella's door, I knock then bring the hand carrying the rose behind my back. I hold my breath as I wait for the door to open.

* * *

 **A/N:** Runner up title ideas were Michael Jackson's _Man in the Mirror_ ( **Morena. Davidson. 3** ) and Cinderella's _Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)_ ( **KDMCAM** ).

So how are we feeling about Edward now? Still think he's an ass and Bella should slam the door in his face, or are you warming up to him? He didn't quite tell us (yet) what his deal is, but do you have any theories?

 **Next chapter's title:** How about going back to the late 70s for some disco?

FF was acting up on Monday for many authors, with disappearing and reappearing chapters, or telling readers that they've already reviewed a brand new chapter. Thanks to all of you who fought with them to post reviews, whether signed in (some just reviewed an older chapter, if they hadn't before) or as Guests! Hopefully all is working OK now!


	27. Take a Chance on Me

**Author Note:** Once again, you all had a lot to say! Some readers said they'd be more willing to listen to what Edward has to say now. And some said their opinion changed for the worse lol.

I stumped you all with the chapter title, except for Guest **Mickey**. It wasn't meant to be that difficult, but everyone apparently forgot that I couldn't post on Tuesday because I was going to see _Mamma Mia_ that evening. ABBA for the win! I had the 45 single of this song back in 1978.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 26 – Take a Chance on Me_

I stand staring at Edward, my hand still on the doorknob, for the longest time. Am I seeing things? Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Have I finally lost my mind?

"Hi, Bella," he says softly, and it's most definitely Edward's voice. "May I come in?"

I can't speak, but I drop my hand from the doorknob and take a step back. He steps over the threshold, closes the door behind him, then pulls his right hand from behind his back — a single red rose held in it.

"This is for you."

My hand shaking, I pluck the stem from his hand, bringing it up to my nose to smell it. It's beautiful, in full bloom, and smells amazingly good.

Forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other, I turn into my kitchen, grabbing a tall glass from the cabinet. I put the rose in the glass, then fill it with water and set it on my kitchen table.

When I turn around, Edward hasn't moved from his place in the foyer. "Can we talk?" he asks and I point toward the living room. Following him into the room, I stop to turn off my music, then retake my seat on the couch. Thankfully he takes the opposite end.

Picking up my tumbler from the coffee table, I drain the rest of my Bailey's in one large gulp, then reach for the bottle to pour another.

"Bella," Edward says, reaching out to touch my wrist. I stare down at his hand, feeling as if he's burning me. "I need you to be sober to hear this."

"I'm already past sober," I reply in a raspy voice, then clear my throat. He lets go and I settle back into the corner of the couch.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, and I look up at him. "The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you."

"Too late."

He swallows thickly, then nods. "There are some things I need to tell you," he begins. "Some things I need to explain. All I need from you is to listen, OK? I know I don't deserve it, but can you give me that? Please?"

There's really no question as to whether or not I'll hear him out. My curiosity to know what he's come to say trumps any anger I feel toward him. "OK," I reply, and he gives me a small smile.

Staring up at the ceiling, he takes a deep breath then lets it out slowly. And then he brings his hand up, rubbing the back of his neck. Whatever this is about, it's clearly tough for him to say.

"I… told you that my parents are dead. I never told you that they died when I was two years old." I let out a soft gasp at the revelation. "Car accident," he says in a detached voice. "They were hit by a drunk driver. I don't… have any memories of them."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whisper.

He nods slowly. "Child Protective Services tried to find relatives to take me in, but they had no luck. And so I became a ward of the state. Over the next 16 years, I lived in 22 different foster homes."

"Oh my God!" I gasp.

"Some were good, some were… not so good," he continues, as if he didn't hear me. I start to feel a little sick to my stomach, thinking about what he must've gone through.

"I remember one in particular — it wasn't the first, but I was there from the age of three to five, something like that. I called my foster mom 'Mommy' and thought of her like my real mom. I loved her. But then one day they came and took me away from her," he whispers.

"How come?" I ask quietly.

"I never found out," he answers, staring down at his hands in fists on his lap. "It fucked me up, Bella, growing up like that. Over the years, I learned not to bother bonding with any of my foster parents, because I'd just end up moving on within a year. And by the time I was an adult, I couldn't."

"Couldn't what?" I ask, my mind too fuzzy to understand what he's saying.

"I can't form any kind of emotional connection with anyone. I can't… love anyone. I don't have the capacity to love."

"I don't believe that." I shake my head. "I think everyone is capable of love… except maybe sociopaths," I add with a shrug.

He scrubs his hands over his face, then looks over at me. "So now you know why," he states quietly. "It was never personal, Bella. If nothing else, I want you to understand _that_."

"Thank you for explaining… even if I don't agree with your conclusion."

He gives me a small smile. "Can I have a glass of that?" He points toward my bottle.

"Sure."

I start to get up, but he waves me off. "I know where your glasses are."

I wait for Edward to come back and pour himself some of the Bailey's, then take a long sip. He stares at the tumbler in his hands, swirling the ice around.

"After I graduated from high school and turned 18, I aged out of the system," he continues. "I ended up living on a buddy's couch for a few weeks. I went back to Child Services to get some information on my parents, now that I was an adult, and then I tried to find my family. This was 1998, so there was at least some rudimentary internet.

"After I traced them to Chicago, I took the money I'd earned from various part-time jobs and got a one-way bus ticket. I could never find my mom's family — I guess they'd moved out of the city — but I found my grandfather, my dad's dad. It turned out that he was wealthy — very wealthy. The family was old money and invested in real estate. My mom's family… wasn't so wealthy. And apparently my dad's parents had forbidden him to see her, so they left town and settled in Portland.

"My grandfather wasn't exactly happy to see me. He considered me a blight on the family name. He didn't want anyone to know who I was, and so… he made me a deal. He'd pay for me to go to college and get started in life, if I never publicly revealed who I was."

"Oh my God! What an asshole!" I shout, my verbal filter all but gone. How could he do that to his own grandson?

"I took the deal," Edward says, looking over at me. "I was a foster kid with nothing. It was the best chance I had. My grandfather was able to use his connections to get me into the University of Illinois on late notice, at their main campus in Champaign. I didn't have any idea what I wanted to study until I took a freshman Psych class," he says with a small smile.

"I continued on there for my Master's, and then I got a job offer back in Chicago while I worked on my PhD. My grandfather bought my downtown loft for me — his company had just finished renovations on the building. I never really liked the huge city all that much, and I hated the winters, but… I stayed, because… because I thought one day maybe he'd change his mind and accept me."

"And he hasn't?" I guess.

"Didn't. He didn't. He died about 18 months ago. I think that's why I took the opportunity to leave Chicago when it presented itself. There was no point in waiting around any longer," he shrugs.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I've always had such a close-knit family. I just can't imagine." I shake my head as he takes another long sip of his drink.

"I'm fucked up, but it's been good in some ways, you know?"

"Good?" I question. I can't imagine how he could think anything he's just told me could be _good_.

"In my career. At least I've never gotten too emotionally involved with a patient." He grins and I tentatively grin back.

Slowly, Edward reaches out, taking my hand in his as he gazes into my eyes. "I never meant to hurt you, Bella. I should've left you alone from the very beginning, never gotten involved with you after I moved to Seattle, not when I knew I could never love you. Tanya never seemed bothered by that. She could do the casual thing, but I should've seen that you couldn't. I should've seen that you weren't like her. Maybe I just didn't want to see it."

I swallow thickly, unable to hold back my threatening tears.

"I've missed you," he says fervently. "You've become such a part of my life, and I've missed having you in it. But I know we can't go back to the way we were, I know that.

"And that's why… I started seeing a therapist a couple of weeks ago — to see if I could be fixed. I know it's pretty ironic, the psychologist needing therapy, but… I've said for the last so many years that this is just the way I am. I want to see if maybe… I can learn to have a real relationship. If I can do it without being afraid of putting my heart at risk. I've lost everyone who's ever mattered to me, and it's terrifying to think of letting my guard down.

"But I want to get better, Bella. For you."

"For me?" I whisper, my tears falling faster.

He nods. "I want to be what you need — what you deserve. I can be your boyfriend. I can do all of the things with you that couples do. I can meet your friends and your family. I just… can't promise that I can ever love you."

"There's no guarantee that any relationship will work out, is there?"

"No, I suppose not," he agrees. "I know that I like you. You've always been different to me. From the very first time we had sex, you've affected so much more than other women. _Something_ more than physical need made me keep coming back to you."

"You're really willing to be a _real_ boyfriend?"

"Yes," he says quietly. "I've obviously got a ways to go in therapy, but… I'm willing to try a real relationship. Believe me, that's a big deal to me."

"I believe you," I reply, wiping at my tears with the hand he's not holding. I remember what Tanya said about his reaction when she suggested that very thing to him. He's obviously come a long way already, and I believe he can be "fixed." I have to trust that if he's going to learn to love _anyone_ , it'll be me. He must think so too, or he wouldn't be here.

"So are _you_ willing to try?" he asks.

"I've missed you too, Edward. So much. When I told you what I needed after Christmas, I wanted you to step up. I wanted you to agree to at least try to be the man I deserve. I naively thought you'd agree to change rather than risk losing me."

"I _did_ ," he says, squeezing my hand. "It's just took me a month or so to process it all and realize that _I_ wanted to make a change. I'm here now, and I'll get down on my knees if you need me to… I just want you back in my life. Please tell me I'm not too late."

"You're not," I whisper through my tears. "And I don't need you to be some fantasy Prince Charming either. I just need you. Yes, I'm willing to give us another chance."

"Oh Bella," he whispers, scooting closer and wrapping his arms around me. Though he's hugged me before, it's never been quite like this, where it feels like he's trying to pull me into his body, like he's terrified that I'll disappear if he doesn't hold me close.

We sit like that for I don't know how long before he slowly pulls back, bringing his hands up to cup my face. His eyes on my lips, he moves in gradually, giving me a chance to protest. I can't though; I need his lips on mine like I need air to breathe.

His kiss is soft, sweet… tentative. I happily kiss him back though he keeps it gentle and relatively chaste. When he finally pulls away, he leans his forehead against mine.

"Thank you for giving me another chance," he whispers. "I'll really try not to fuck it up this time."

I peck his lips, then move away, standing up. "I'll be right back." Grabbing the bottle of Bailey's and our empty glasses, I take them into the kitchen, putting the bottle back in the fridge and the glasses in the dishwasher.

It's late and I'm still tipsy, so I yawn as I come back to Edward. He looks me up and down as if noticing my appearance for the first time. "Were you ready for bed?" he asks.

I shake my head. "I never got dressed today. I, um, could really use a shower, and then I think I need to lie down."

"Can I stay?" I raise an eyebrow and he starts shaking his head quickly. "I don't mean for sex. I just… want to hold you."

"I'd like that," I agree. "And then… maybe we can talk more tomorrow?"

"Are you off work?"

I nod. "It's President's Day. They just started giving us the day off last year."

"Then we can talk about whatever you want," he smiles.

I head back into my bedroom, grabbing a fresh set of clothes, then take my shower and go through my nightly routine. I still have the extra toothbrush Edward always used — I couldn't bring myself to throw it away — so I leave it out for him.

When I come out of the bathroom, I'm a little shocked to find him sitting on the edge of the bed still fully dressed. I'd expected him to be at least stripped down to his underwear.

"All yours," I tell him, then move to pull the covers down.

I'm nearly asleep by the time Edward crawls into bed with me. He immediately pulls me into his arms, and I relish the feel of his warm skin on mine. He said he wasn't staying for sex, and I know it's not the best idea right now, but I think I'd happily get naked for him if he tried. Maybe that's just the alcohol talking.

"I've missed this," he whispers. "Just holding you."

"I thought you just liked holding me after sex."

"That makes it even better, I suppose," he chuckles and I look up at him, trying to see his face in the dark. Leaning in, he brushes his lips against mine a few times. "You looked so tempting when you came out of the bathroom earlier. I want nothing more than to get reacquainted with every square inch of your skin, but… I want to do this right. I want to do right by _you_. I don't know what that means exactly, though I suspect we'll figure something out. But don't ever think I don't want you, OK?"

"I want you too, but I agree that it's too soon," I sigh. "At least my head does; the rest of me wouldn't mind letting you have your way with me."

"Don't tempt me," he groans. "Turn over."

I roll onto my right side, sighing in contentment as he spoons behind me. "Sweet dreams, my sweet girl."

* * *

 **A/N:** Finally! Now that you know Edward's story, what do you think? I think most of you thought his issues went back to his childhood, though some said it was perhaps an early love affair gone bad.

When Bella is sober in the next chapter, she'll ask him more specific questions, so we'll get more answers.

Moosals suggested polling you all on how long until Bella gives in and has sex with him.

 **Next chapter's title:** One of four #1 singles from this male artist's debut _solo_ album.

Back to our usual **Tuesday** for the next update. I'll be in Chicago for a conference, but will try to update from my phone around the usual time.


	28. One More Try

**Author Note:** If you're reading this, I was able to update from my phone! Greetings from Chicago.

A pretty easy title to guess this week! Congrats to **KDMCAM** , **Gianni26** , **pengirl25** , **MIRosebud** , **anitabonita2413** , **Ballachicki** , **Azlady2003** , **LSU15** , **Capricorn75** , **Scattycow** , **foreverpeetaslove** , **sherylb** , **shaz308** , **astonmartin823** and **Ninkita** ,who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title (or at least one of his other #1 songs) by George Michael.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 27 – One More Try_

I open my eyes to my sunny bedroom, stretch, then turn over, shocked to see Edward lying in bed beside me, his head propped up on his hand. He smiles at me, then reaches out to gently touch my face.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he says.

"So last night wasn't a dream? You're really real?"

"I'm real," he assures me. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did." I feel more rested than I have in weeks. It's probably due to his presence, but I'm not going to tell him that. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while," he shrugs. "You were making the cutest little noises in your sleep," he adds with a grin, and I can feel my face flame in mortification. "I left drugs on the nightstand."

Crawling out of bed, I quickly down the two pills, then head into the bathroom to take care of business. When I come back out to grab some clothes, I find a mostly naked Edward standing up and stretching.

"Um, I'm gonna take a quick shower," I tell him as I dig around in my closet. "I didn't wash my hair last night."

"Can I shower with you?" he asks, and I whip my head around to stare at him. "No touching, I promise."

I can see the outline of his morning wood through his boxer briefs. No good can come from showering with him. "I'll be quick," I tell him, closing and locking the door behind me.

As I shower, my now-sober mind races with questions for Edward, details he left out of his speech and things we still need to discuss. I don't want to bombard him, but…

Once I'm dressed, I carry my blow dryer into the bedroom with me so I can dry my hair while Edward showers.

"When did you last eat?" he asks when he comes back out in yesterday's clothes.

"Late afternoon yesterday," I shrug.

"Want to go to that café you like for a late breakfast?"

"Sure," I agree, and we walk down the street in silence as I try to process everything that's happened in the past 24 hours. Edward is really back in my life, and in therapy — trying to become a new and improved version of the man I was well on the way to falling in love with two months ago.

After placing our orders, I take a sip of my coffee, then bite my lip as I look at Edward. He agreed that we can talk more, so I hope he won't mind starting now.

"Can I ask you about something you said last night?" I begin cautiously, and he nods. "You mentioned that your grandfather rejected you. What about your grandmother? I mean, surely she wouldn't…"

"She died about a year before I got to Chicago."

"Oh," I frown. "I'm sorry. No aunts or uncles either?"

He shakes his head. "My dad was an only child. He was the family's great hope to marry someone of equal status and continue their legacy," he explains bitterly.

"So your grandfather had no other heirs? What happened to his fortune then?"

Edward shrugs. "I've never asked about it, but I assume if he left me anything, his lawyer would've contacted me. He remarried about 10 years ago, so his new wife probably got it all."

"Did you ever make another attempt to find your mom's family? With Google and all of the resources available online today, I'm sure you could."

"No," he sighs. "I guess… I was afraid they'd reject me, too. Unless _she_ had siblings, there's a good chance I won't find anyone alive. Mom was 26 when she had me, so her parents are probably in their 80s."

"You could at least look for them?" I really want Edward to know what it's like to be a part of a loving family. It could only help him to heal.

"Maybe," he allows.

"Do you know much about your parents?"

"Not a lot. When I turned 18, I got a box with some of their personal effects; it's in a closet at home. I have a picture from their wedding," he says softly. "I look like my dad, except with my mom's coloring. I'll show it to you the next time you come over, OK?"

"I'd like that," I reply with a smile, happy that he's willing to let me in to this part of his life.

After we've eaten, we walk back to my apartment, hand in hand, then Edward leads me to the couch. "Can you do the talking for a while?" he asks, making himself comfortable. "I want to know about you."

Smiling, I begin telling him about growing up in a town with less than 4,000 people, with a cop for a father. I tell him about my perfect, beautiful older brother and sister, and how Dad freaked out and was extra strict with me after Jasper and Alice announced they were expecting shortly after Jasper's high school graduation — Alice still had a year of school left. I tell him about all five of my nieces and nephews and how much I adore them.

Edward listens intently and asks questions, even allowing me to show him photos on my phone this time. I realize now that part of the reason he never seemed interested in even hearing about my family before was because he didn't have his own family, and not just because he didn't want to get closer to me.

"Do you ever keep in touch with any of your former foster parents?" I ask curiously. "Or any foster siblings?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I was friendly enough with some of my foster brothers when I was younger, but with us all moving around so much, there was really no way to keep in touch."

"I guess back then it wasn't like today where you can just swap emails or Facebook accounts."

"Yeah," he nods, then gets a gleam in his eye. "You know, I lost my virginity to one of my foster sisters when I was 14," he grins. "She was 16 and — well, she'd been around, I guess. She taught me a lot."

"I can imagine," I reply dryly, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, you owe her a debt of gratitude, you know," he winks.

I decide to ignore his insinuations; it's too soon to talk about sex with him. "You said last night that some of your foster homes were not so good. Does that mean you were… abused?" I ask cautiously.

Edward looks over at me and for a moment he looks so vulnerable. He swallows thickly, then nods. "There was physical abuse in a couple of homes," he admits. "More often it was just being treated like a second-class citizen as compared to any biological children. Like if there wasn't enough money to feed all of us, guess who went hungry?"

"I'm sorry you went through that," I tell him softly, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

"It definitely sucked at the time, but it was a long time ago, Bella. I don't like thinking about it now. Anyway, I started working as soon as I turned 16, so I could have my own money, though I used to hide it in a sock so no one could steal it."

"What kind of jobs did you have?"

"Where do teenagers work?" he shrugs. "I was at Burger King for a while — a few different fast food places, actually. And I worked a couple of summers at this place called the Infield. You could play miniature golf, ride go-karts or bumper boats. They also had batting cages and an arcade. It was a pretty popular hangout for teenagers on dates."

"Sounds like a lot of fun," I agree. "I just worked behind the counter at a store that sold a lot of camping and outdoors equipment. My dad loves to fish and took us camping a lot in the Olympic National Forest, so I wasn't totally clueless about what I was selling."

"I can't picture you camping," he says with a grin.

"Wait until you meet my sister. You really won't be able to picture _her_ camping." And then I stop short — we haven't talked yet about Edward coming to Forks. I clear my throat nervously. "Would you come to Forks with me the next time I visit? It'll probably be for Easter, at the end of next month."

"I will," he agrees quietly. "I said I'd do whatever it is that boyfriends do, and I meant it. That includes meeting your family."

I'm still not sure about discussing sex with him, but given his comment… I need to bring this up. I can't be afraid of the topic, not anymore.

"Edward?" I begin in a whisper and his brow furrows as he stares back at me. "Boyfriends don't usually have sex with other women. I don't think I can live with an open relationship."

His eyes widen as he stares back at me, but he doesn't speak.

"If you can't live without _variety_ , then…" I trail off, shaking my head. "I don't want to call it an ultimatum, but I guess it is. I won't spend my time wondering where my boyfriend is or who else he's sleeping with."

Edward runs his hand through his hair, then sighs. "I've never had a monogamous relationship," he finally says. "I discovered at the age of 14 that I liked sex. And I quickly figured out that every new girl I was with had something different to offer. In college there may have been one or two girls that I was with more often than others, but it was never with any kind of emotional connection."

"Are you saying you can't do it?" I whisper, holding my breath.

"I'm saying that I've been this way for a long time. I don't really think that my… promiscuity is tied to my issues with emotions. My therapist, Dr. Jenks, isn't so sure about that. Maybe I'll feel differently eventually, I don't know. So, I guess… I'm saying I'll try. I won't sleep with other women behind your back. I won't make you worry about where I am and who I'm with.

"But… I mean, we've had threesomes. You've participated too. Is that something you'd be OK with?"

"You mean can you have sex with other women if I'm there too?" I gasp.

He nods. "And it goes both ways. You can bring in another man if you want."

I'm quiet as I think about what he's asking for. It's been a long time since I was with Edward and Tanya together. I never minded her presence back then, but I think at that point, I looked at my relationship with Edward much more casually. That was before we started "dating," for all intents and purposes. That was before my feelings for him grew. Things are different now, and I can't imagine not feeling jealous watching him with someone else.

"I don't know, Edward," I tell him honestly. "I'm not sure I could handle that now. My… feelings for you have changed in the last eight months."

"I understand," he says quietly. "So that's a no?"

"It's… not a definitive no, I guess? I mean… I don't think I could deal, but I guess if there was a potential third party, I'd decide then?" Really, I can't see myself _ever_ being OK with it, but I've learned to never say never.

"So we agree to table this discussion until it's not just hypothetical?" he grins.

"Are _you_ OK with that?"

"I'll try to be whatever you need, Bella," he answers quickly. "I want you in my life."

"But if you can't do it, if you need to be with other women, you'll tell me?" I ask hesitantly.

"I won't _cheat_ ," he says firmly.

"I guess that's all I can ask for. I'm not trying to change who you are, if it's truly a part of you. I just know that there may be limits to what I can accept."

Giving me a small smile, he crooks his finger until I scoot closer to him, letting him wrap one arm around me. I look up at him and he smiles wider. "I've missed these big brown eyes."

"Really?" I deadpan.

"I have," he insists. "Have I missed feeling your body underneath mine? Most definitely. I've missed everything about you. Enough to finally spur me into finding a therapist to help me get better."

Reaching out his hand, he tucks my hair behind my ear, then caresses my cheek gently. "I've always thought you were beautiful," he whispers. "Always. From the first time I saw you, I had to have you."

"The first time I saw _you_ , I thought you were the hottest guy I'd ever met," I admit, feeling myself blush. "But you were taken. You were Tanya's boyfriend, and she's so much prettier than me. I thought it was just a pointless crush — you'd never want me."

"Don't put yourself down like that," he says sternly. "Don't compare yourself to other women. You're all uniquely beautiful in your own way."

"I guess you're not the only one with issues. I've compared myself unfavorably to my older sister for years." It was tough following in Rose's footsteps, though I love her dearly; I know it's not her fault she got the good genes.

"You shouldn't. You're you, and you're the one I want. Can I have you?" he whispers, brushing his lips against mine.

"I'm not ready for sex," I blurt out. "I'm sorry."

Edward shakes his head. "Don't be. I know I hurt you. I know I need to earn your trust back."

"You can still kiss me though."

Grinning, he sucks at my bottom lip, releasing it slowly. When he leans in again, I open for him, letting my tongue touch his. Bringing his hand up to my face, he deepens the kiss, and I let him. I've missed his amazing lips so much.

I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling myself closer to him as our make-out session heats up. It would be so easy to give in to what we both want, but I know I need to keep my wits about me. I'm just not ready to have sex with him again. Our relationship up until this point has been primarily based on sex, and I don't want to go back to that. I want it to be _real_ this time.

At some point, I end up flat on my back on my couch, with Edward above me. I can feel his erection digging into my hip, but I keep my hands above his waist and don't acknowledge it. He's touching my breasts over my clothes, but to his credit, he doesn't even try to take my sweater off.

"God, I've missed this," he moans and I can only hum in agreement as he claims my lips again, letting his tongue explore my mouth. "I just want to bury myself inside you," he whispers.

"No, Edward," I protest.

"I know," he groans, pulling back a little. "We'll go at your pace."

"Thank you."

"I might have blue balls though," he complains, reaching down to adjust himself in his jeans.

"You poor thing," I tease, giggling.

"Don't laugh, Isabella. I know you're wet for me. I can smell it."

"You can't!" I gasp.

Laughing, he reaches his hand down, tracing the seam of my leggings and making me nearly jump out of my skin. "No, but I can feel it."

"You know I want this, I just… I don't want us to be all about sex."

"I know," he replies, brushing my hair back. "I might get in trouble with my therapist, too."

When he leans in for another kiss, I accept, but it's less heated now, more gentle and sweet. And then I hear my phone ding from its place on the coffee table.

"Go away," Edward mumbles, kissing me again.

When my phone dings for a second time, I push at his shoulder until he sits up. Grabbing my phone off the table, he hands it to me and I quickly unlock it.

 **Seth and I will be there soon to take you to dinner.**

 **You have 15 minutes.**

* * *

 **A/N:** Dun dun dun… Reviewers for the last chapter were already worrying about Jake's reaction!

So a few more answers from Edward. And sober Bella realized she'd better be clear with him that she doesn't think she could handle an open relationship. They've reached a tentative agreement, but time will tell if Edward can stick to it.

 **Next chapter's title:** A #2 hit by a Southern rock band, which was their only Top 40 single.

If there are no flight issues, I should be home by around 8pm tonight and able to get through most review replies. If there _are_ flight issues, at least I can amuse myself by trying to reply on my phone.


	29. Keep Your Hands to Yourself

**Author Note:** Readers seem to be split right now, between those who are proud of Bella for sticking to her guns about no open relationship and no sex right now, and those who feel she took Edward back too quickly.

Moosals found this enlightening article on shrinks with mental health issues: psychologytoday (d-o-t) com/articles/199707/why-shrinks-have-problems

Congrats to **2loveybunnies** , **Capricorn75** , **KDMCAM** , **GrandeDame** , **sherylb** , **TiffanyLCullen** , **Azlady2003** , **Scattycow** , **Tootabug** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** and **MIRosebud** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by one-hit wonder, the Georgia Satellites.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 28 – Keep Your Hands to Yourself_

"What is it?" Edward asks, likely seeing the panicked expression on my face.

"Jake and Seth will be here in 15 minutes. You can't be here. I mean, I need to tell Jake about you first before he sees you, or it's not going to be good."

"Not good for me, you mean?" he cringes.

"Yeah," I nod. "Jake's had some pretty choice things to say about you — especially since he accidentally found out about the club."

"How could he accidentally find out? Did he see your membership card?"

"Um, no… we ran into Tyler at Jake's gym last month and he said he hadn't seen me at the club lately."

Edward's eyes widen. "I bet that was awkward."

"Understatement," I reply, rolling my eyes. "Anyway, you should probably leave before they get here, but… maybe next weekend we can double date with them? After I've had a chance to explain everything to Jake."

"All right," he agrees with a small smile. Leaning in, he kisses me gently a few times before pulling back and standing up. "I'll be in touch with you this week, promise."

I get up as well, following Edward to the front door. After a few more kisses, he's gone and I lean my back against the door, letting out a long breath. I'm nervous about telling Jake, but if Edward is going to be a part of my life again, I need to do it.

After freshening up in the bathroom, I put on some less casual clothes then go sit on the couch, checking my phone while I wait for Jake and Seth to show up.

When they arrive, I try to pretend like nothing is amiss, but I catch Jake giving me some strange looks as we make our way out to his SUV. Seth is a bit of a beer connoisseur, so we end up going to a nearby restaurant and brewpub. Jake will just have to deal with the unhealthy food — or eat a salad.

"So what's going on, Bells?" he asks after we've placed our orders. "You're acting shady."

"Um, I had a visitor last night," I begin hesitantly. "I-I thought it was you two until I opened the door."

"Who was it?" Seth asks.

"Edward."

"What the fuck was he doing there?" Jake yells, drawing the attention of a few nearby tables.

"He came to explain some things to me." I pause, taking a deep breath. "He grew up in foster care, Jake. And he's damaged. He… protects himself by not getting emotionally involved with anyone. He—"

"Then he shouldn't have gotten involved with you in _any_ way!"

"He said that, actually," I reply patiently. "But it's not like I wasn't aware that we were in a casual relationship. I have to take some of the blame here, Jake. It's not all on Edward."

Jake lets out a breath, glaring at me. "I hope you threw him out on his ass once he'd said his piece."

"Edward started therapy a couple of weeks ago," I continue, ignoring Jake's last comment. "He wants to get better. For me, Jake," I whisper. "He wants to try and have a real relationship with me."

"I repeat, I hope you threw him out on his ass."

"I think you know I didn't," I tell him, trying to be strong. I made the decision to accept Edward's apology and give him a chance. I need to own it now.

"Jesus, Bells… the guy gives you some sob story and suddenly all is forgiven? Have you forgotten what a mess you were after Christmas?"

"I haven't forgotten, but… I know he didn't intentionally hurt me. I know it was a big step for him to start seeing a therapist. And so yes, I told him we could try, but we're taking it slow this time. I want to do it right."

Jake shakes his head. "If you get in deeper with him, it will hurt even worse when it doesn't work out."

"There's always a risk, Jake! How many failed relationships have _you_ had? I think it hurt so much because I felt like it was my own fault, like I'd made the mistake of pushing him too far because I was listening to everyone else and ignoring the part of my mind that _knew_ it was a bad idea.

"I understand now that nothing was ever personal. He's damaged, like I said. But he's trying, and that's the main thing right now," I plead, looking to Seth for support.

"As usual, I'd prefer to stay out of it," Seth smiles. "But she's a big girl, Jake," he says, looking toward his boyfriend. "I think she knows what she's doing this time."

I mouth a 'thank you' to Seth.

"How many other women is he sleeping with?" Jake sneers.

"I-I told him I couldn't do an open relationship. _Please_ trust me on this, Jake. If I get hurt again, you can totally say 'I told you so,' but until then, I need my best friend's support. And… I'd like you to get to know Edward. Both of you. Maybe we could double date next weekend?"

Jake glares at me, but then nods. "Edward and I have a few things to settle."

* * *

Throughout the week, Edward sends me random, cute texts — like a real boyfriend. They never fail to make me smile. Of course, by the end of the week, they start to get more than a bit flirty. I know he's going to want sex this weekend, but I'm still not sure if I'm ready for that.

I manage to get the guys to all agree to dinner out at the Cheesecake Factory in Bellevue on Saturday night. I call ahead but there's a long wait, so we agree to meet at my house first for drinks. Edward says he'll bring a bottle of wine.

"Hey, beautiful," he greets me when I throw the door open. I motion for him to come in, taking the wine from his hands and setting it in a bucket of ice.

When I turn around, Edward is standing only inches away from me. He sweeps me up into a hot kiss before I can say a word. "You look so fucking hot tonight," he mumbles between kisses. I wrap my arms around his neck as I try to get even closer to him. I really have missed this.

A hard knock at the door breaks us apart. I take a deep breath, moving to get the door while Edward walks into the living room.

"Hi, guys," I greet my friends, ushering them inside. "Um, you remember Edward."

Jake walks into the living room, stopping just a foot or so away from Edward, who to his credit, seems to be holding his ground.

"Be nice, Jake," I warn him.

Edward slowly brings his right hand forward to shake Jacob's hand. Jake's eyes dart down toward it, but in the very next moment, his arm rears back. It all seems to be happening in slow motion, yet I can't stop it as Jake's fist connects with Edward's jaw.

"Jake!" I scream before I rush toward Edward. He staggers back a few feet, his left hand rubbing his jaw.

"Are you all right?" I ask in a panic. He moves his hand away and I can see a red welt already forming. "Do you need ice?" He nods and I look toward Seth before heading into the kitchen.

"I'll watch him," he assures me, grabbing Jake by the arm and dragging him over to sit on the couch.

I don't have any frozen peas, but I do find a bag of frozen blueberries in my freezer, so I wrap those in a dish towel and bring them to Edward, holding them up to his face. Then I turn to face my best friend.

"What the fuck did you do that for, Jake?" I yell at him.

"He got off way too fucking easy! After the way he hurt you, you take him back just like that?!"

"That's my business, Jake," I reply, gritting my teeth.

"I deserved it, Bella," Edward says quietly.

"No, you didn't! Violence is _never_ the answer." I turn and glare at Jake again, then lead Edward over to sit on the loveseat.

"Say you're sorry, Jake."

"I'm not sorry. Maybe you can forgive and forget, but I can't. I can't forget the way I found you sobbing on your kitchen floor. I can't forget the way I sent you into the bedroom to change and then found you sitting on the floor, practically comatose. I can't forget the fact that I had to make sure you remembered to eat for the next week."

"Is that all true?" Edward whispers, and I turn to look at him. I'm sure my face is burning up in mortification. He knew he'd hurt me, but… all the gory details can't be easy to hear.

"Yes," I admit. "I was a bit of a mess after you left."

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, reaching out to caress my face. "I never meant to hurt you. I—"

"I _know_ , Edward." I pause, reaching out to weave my fingers through his. "And I also know it's partly my own fault. You were never less than clear with me about where you stood. I was the one who thought I could convince you to change."

"You did, baby," he replies with a small smile, kissing the back of my hand. "It just took a little while for me to catch on."

"How does your jaw feel?" I ask, pulling the towel away to look at it. It certainly _looks_ like it hurts. "Do you need aspirin?"

"He packs a good punch, but I'll survive."

"Apologize, Jake," I insist with another glare. Seth elbows him in the ribs and he finally sighs.

"I'm sorry I hit you," he says quietly. "I'm not sorry I told you about the damage you caused."

"Fair enough," Edward replies.

"Seth, could you bring the wine and some glasses from the kitchen?" I ask.

"Will do," he grins, standing up.

Once Seth's poured us each a glass, Edward puts his arm around me, hugging me close as he kisses the top of my head. "I promise I'll make it up to you later," he whispers, and of course that goes straight between my legs.

 _No!_ I promised myself that we wouldn't rush into having sex. But maybe just his tongue would be OK…

"Bella said you grew up in foster care," Seth says. "That's rough, man. I've got a good buddy who was raised in foster care since he was eight or nine. His mother was an addict."

"My parents were killed in a car accident when I was two," Edward says quietly. I watch Jake's face as he explains. Jake lost his own mom in a car accident when he was 12, when a logging truck veered over the center lane and hit her head-on. If I look closely, I think I do see a hint of sympathy on his face.

"So you're in therapy?" Jake asks.

"Yeah," he nods. "It's… going well so far, I think. I've needed to do it for a long time, but it took Bella to give me enough incentive. I want her in my life, and I know that we can't go back to the way we were before. I know she deserves better than that."

"She does. My girl is the best. And so help me, if you hurt her again…"

"Jake," I warn. "You're worse than my dad."

"Trust me, if your dad finds out you two hung out at swingers clubs, what I did to him will be child's play — Charlie owns guns."

I see Edward pale beside me, then lean over to kiss him softly. "He's a cop," I remind him. "In a small town. He's never actually shot anyone."

"That you know of. Maybe he buried the body," Jake retorts with a huge grin.

Once we've all finished our drinks, it's time to head out to dinner. Seth and Jake get into Jake's car, since they're planning to head to a late movie afterward, while Edward leads me out to his Volvo.

As I buckle the seatbelt, a thought suddenly occurs to me. "Why do you a drive a Volvo, Edward?"

"What _should_ I drive?" he asks as he backs out. "Volvos are the safest cars on the market," he shrugs.

"Is that… because of the way your parents died?"

"Probably," he says with a sigh. I can hear the sadness in his voice and decide to change the subject.

"I would've expected you to drive some kind of sports car. You strike me as the type of guy who likes to drive fast."

"Who says this car can't go fast?" he grins, glancing over at me.

* * *

Jake acts like an adult during dinner and we end up having a really nice time. After we've said goodbye to Jake and Seth, Edward drives me back to my apartment.

"Can I come up?" he asks as he pulls into a parking place.

"Ummm…" I'd certainly like him to, but I'm not sure I trust him — or myself.

"Bella," he says softly, and I turn to face him. Reaching out slowly to stroke my cheek, he smiles at me. "As much as I want you, I can behave myself if that's what _you_ want."

"OK," I agree, reaching for the door handle.

Once we're inside my apartment, Edward takes my hand, leading me to the couch. I sit beside him, then touch the bruise on his jaw.

"How bad is it?" I ask.

"It doesn't really hurt unless I move my jaw too much," he shrugs.

"I swear I didn't know Jake was going to do that. He made some comment last Monday about having a few things to settle with you, but I didn't think for one minute he was planning to hit you!"

"It's nice that he's so protective of you," he shrugs. "Am I going to be facing the same thing with your family next month?"

"I hope not," I sigh. "I really only talked to the women in my family about you, though there's a good chance they've all told their husbands. My sister knows the most details, so I'll need to have a talk with her before you go to Forks with me. You're definitely not her favorite person right now."

"Was all that stuff Jake said true?" he asks quietly, grabbing hold of my hand.

"He exaggerated," I reply with an eye roll. "He did come over every night to make sure I was eating, but I didn't _need_ him to do that. I won't try to tell you that I wasn't hurt though. I was… especially when you said you could never love me. You were just so _cold_ about it."

"I turned my emotions off a long time ago, Bella. I had to, to protect myself. And I didn't — I _don't_ — know how to turn them back on. Hopefully, my therapist can help."

"I don't think that's completely true. I mean, I caught glimpses sometimes, where it seemed like you cared about me. And in the end, you cared enough to acknowledge that you missed me and that you wanted to seek help."

"I guess," he shrugs with an almost shy smile. "Jenks was proud of me for coming to you last weekend, but I know I still have a lot of work to do."

Edward leans his head back against the couch, looking over at me. "Is kissing still allowed?"

I raise an eyebrow. "I thought you said your jaw hurts if you move it too much?"

"I'll suffer through it for you," he grins.

* * *

 **A/N:** A bit of a double meaning for today's chapter title!

So Edward made good on his first promise, to get to know Bella's friends. Jake certainly agrees with those of you who think Edward got off too easy for hurting Bella! He may have warmed up to Edward slightly… eventually. How many of you think Edward deserved what he got?

 **Next chapter's title:** A #2 hit by a deceased male artist, with an iconic music video.


	30. Simply Irresistible

**Author Note:** I again tallied up the votes, and the "go Jake" crowd beat out the "he shouldn't have done that" group by **one** vote! Also 25% of you were more on the fence, as in this example: "I agree with Bella that violence is never the answer but I'm afraid a part of me was mentally cheering for Jake!"

Congrats to **KDMCAM** , **2loveybunnies** , **MIRosebud** , **NotoriousMissT1** , **twifan7731** , **sherylb** , **Azlady2003** , **karo29** and **Breaking Aurora** , who all earned themselves a teaser by guessing this chapter's title by the late Robert Palmer. Also **wambam45** , **tawelephant** , **MissyDy** and a Guest got the right artist, wrong song.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 29 – Simply Irresistible_

A week later, Edward and I walk into his condo after having dinner at a nearby restaurant; it's my first time here since we got back together.

"Have a seat," he says, pointing toward the couch. "There's something I want to show you."

Setting my bag down and taking off my coat, I make myself comfortable as I wait for Edward, who's disappeared into his bedroom. When he reappears carrying a large box, I remember what he said two weeks ago, about having a box of his parents' things.

He sits down beside me, setting the box next to us, then pulls out a picture frame and hands it to me.

"This is your parents?" I stare at the photo of a beautiful young woman with Edward's unusual hair color and a tall handsome blond man. The man is wearing a suit, while the woman is wearing a short, pink sleeveless shift dress with flower details on the bottom hem — very 1970s.

"Yeah," he confirms quietly. "There's writing on the back of the photo that says it's their wedding day."

"You do look like your dad," I tell him, glancing between Edward and the photograph. "It's such a shame what happened to them. If your mom had you at 26, she must've been about my age when she died."

Carefully taking the frame from my hands, he then passes me a large photo album. "When I turned 18 and went back to Child Services, they gave me this box. Th-there was a letter in it from the woman who'd sorted through my parents' things and put it together. She was hoping that one day I'd be able to come back for their things and it would give me some peace."

"Has it?" I ask quietly.

"Some, I guess," he shrugs. "You can open the album," he adds when I run my fingers over the cover.

"Oh!" I exclaim when I open to the first page to see what must've been the very first photo taken of Edward, still wearing his hospital-issued bracelet. There's a fine fuzz of blond hair on his head and his face is scrunched up in a cry or scream. "How adorable you were!"

As I flip through the pages, I realize the entire album is dedicated to the infant and, later, toddler Edward. He grew from a smiling baby into the cutest blond toddler with a cowlick on the back of his head. Both of his parents are in many of the earlier photos, holding him.

"It looks like they loved you very much," I whisper, feeling tears prick at my eyes for the little boy whose life must've changed dramatically shortly after the last photos in the album were taken.

"I wish I could remember them. Just… something, no matter how small — the smell of my mother's perfume, the feel of my dad's moustache… anything."

Closing the photo album, I reach across Edward's body to set it back in the box. I intend to comfort him, but then I spot a small velvet box in there which looks like it would hold a ring. "May I?" I ask and he nods.

Opening the box, I stare at the diamond ring. It has a simple gold band, with dozens of tiny diamonds clustered together, reminding me of a bouquet of flowers. "How beautiful! This was your mother's?"

"I assume so. Try it on," he suggests, and I carefully pull the ring from the box. I don't feel right about trying it on my left hand, so I slip it onto the ring finger of my right hand. It's a perfect fit.

Edward reaches out to touch it, brushing his finger over the tiny diamonds. "I guess my mother had small hands like you do."

"I guess so," I agree with a small smile.

I twist the ring off my finger, then set it back in its place, handing it to Edward. We spend the next hour looking through the rest of the box before we're finished and he pushes it to the side. I swallow thickly as he reaches out to caress my cheek. His green eyes look so vulnerable; he's never shared so much of himself with me before.

"Bella," he whispers, and I launch myself at him, surprising him with my kiss. He's only startled for a moment before he kisses me back. I open for him eagerly, and his tongue makes its way inside my mouth.

As we kiss, Edward pulls me onto his lap, his arms wrapping around me to hold me close. I bury my fingers in his thick hair, pulling and tugging as I match the frantic movements of his mouth. I can feel his erection beneath me and can't resist grinding down on it.

"Fuck," he moans, breaking away from my lips. "Need you so bad…"

In a flash, Edward reaches down to grab the hem of my sweater and pull it over my head. I'm wearing the bustier he picked out — anticipating that I'd probably let him seduce me tonight — and he groans loudly when he sees it. I start to scoot back so that I can remove my skirt, but he grabs my hand, placing it over the hardness in his pants.

I give him a little squeeze, then pop the button and begin sliding the zipper down. I palm his cock again through the opening in his pants, making him groan.

"I promise to spend the rest of the night worshipping you, but right now, I just need to take you hard and fast," he pants, lifting me off of his lap.

As Edward removes his shirt, I hurriedly pull my skirt down, and I swear his eyes nearly bug out of his face when he sees the straps at the bottom of my bustier connected to a pair of thigh highs. I start to turn toward the bedroom, but he reaches out and grabs my hand.

"Here — I can't wait that long to be inside you."

He quickly yanks his pants and underwear down, while I remove my tiny v-string panties. I settle back on his lap, and he grasps the back of my neck, pulling me in for a hard kiss.

Once he's let me go, I stare into Edward's eyes, my heart beating madly in anticipation as I lift myself up. He reaches down to stroke his cock, then places it at my entrance.

I hold my breath as I slide down onto him. My body accepts him easily, as if it remembers the way he can make me feel. Bringing his hands up to my face, he kisses me again once we're fully connected.

And then all bets are off. Grabbing my hips, he lifts me up and slams me back down.

"Oh!" I yelp in surprise. And then I can do nothing more than hold on to his shoulders and revel in the sensation.

When he lifts his head slightly, we make eye contact, and we stay like that as he drives me closer and closer to the edge. Without him asking me to, I bring my hands to my breasts, squeezing them and tweaking my nipples through the soft bra cups.

"Touch… yourself," he pants, and I don't even hesitate to bring my right hand down, letting one finger circle my clit. I'm so close but I can sense that he is too, and he needs me to come first.

"So fucking hot," he groans.

Edward pulls me slightly toward him, which changes the angle slightly, until he's hitting exactly the right spot inside me. Two more thrusts and I can feel myself clamping down on him.

"Ohhhh…" he moans as he freezes, spilling inside me. He wraps his arms around me as I cling to him, trying to catch my breath.

When I move back, he kisses me softly. "Mmmm," he mumbles against my lips. "Now we need to clean you up thoroughly before I get reacquainted with you."

"Do you mean to tell me that the guy who said I should let him come down my throat is afraid of getting a taste of his own spunk?" If I wasn't so exhausted, I'd be laughing at him.

When I feel like my legs will be able to support me, I climb off of Edward's lap, standing up before I make a mess on his leather couch. I yelp as he follows me to his feet, then suddenly picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" I laugh, slapping at his very fine ass.

Undaunted, he walks me through his bedroom into the bathroom before finally setting me back on my feet. Grabbing a washcloth, he runs it under the water and hands it to me before walking away.

Shaking my head, I clean myself up, then head back into the bedroom. I notice the blinds are up, so that anyone who wants to watch could see inside the room. Edward has already turned down the covers on his bed and is lighting candles spread around the room. As he finishes the last one, he smiles at me, then beckons me closer.

Holding me about an arm's length away, he looks me up and down. "Can I take your picture?" he asks suddenly.

"Like this?!" I ask, my voice going up at least one octave. "I'm not wearing panties!"

"Exactly like this," he grins. "It'll make great spank-bank material for the nights we're not together."

That's actually… sweet, I think. "I'll make you a deal. You can take a photo, if you grab my panties from the other room when you get your phone."

Rolling his eyes, he nods, a huge grin on his face as he struts out of the room, still completely naked. I may shamelessly stare at his ass until he disappears from view.

Edward is back just a few seconds later, his phone in his right hand and my panties in his left. "Pose for me, Bella," he says seductively once I've slipped them on. I have no flipping idea how to model, but I put one hand on my hip, taking a deep breath to suck in my stomach and push my breasts out. "Smile," he orders and I try to obey, even if I do feel ridiculous.

"Turn around and look at me over your shoulder… Mmmm, just like that," he says as I follow his instructions. "Now go lie on the bed."

"Bossy, aren't you?" I grumble.

Edward walks around to the side of the bed, so I turn onto my side, giving him my best "come hither" look as he snaps away on his phone.

"You have no idea how sexy you are, do you?" he asks, setting his phone on the nightstand. He motions for me to turn onto my back, then comes around to the end of the bed and grasps the sides of my panties in his hands. Once he's removed them, he begins undoing the hooks and pulling my thigh highs down.

He stands there for a moment, just staring at me, until I almost feel like covering myself up. "So fucking gorgeous. Just let me make you feel good now, baby."

Edward rubs his thumbs into the bottom of both of my feet, then slowly brings his hands up my legs, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my skin. He skips where I'm anticipating his touch, then traces along the edge of the bra cups on my bustier. "Remind me how to get you out of this sexy thing."

"There's a zipper on the side," I reply, turning slightly and lifting my arm so that he can reach it. Once he's unzipped it, he slowly pulls the straps from my shoulders and together we remove the bustier.

Leaning forward, he kisses me softly at first, then increasing in intensity, while his hands brush up and down my torso. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him to me, just wanting to feel his weight on me.

I'm gasping for the air by the time Edward breaks away from my lips. He takes my left nipple in his mouth, biting it gently then soothing the sting with his tongue. When it feels hard enough to cut glass, he switches sides. I'm shamelessly trying to get a little friction against him, but he isn't giving me much room to move.

"Patience, baby," he cautions. "I won't leave you unsatisfied."

Once he's finally done with my breasts, he kisses, licks and sucks his way down my torso, stopping to circle my navel with his tongue.

"Edward, please," I moan.

Looking up at me, he smiles as he catches my eye, then lightly grazes one finger between my legs. "Mmm… feel how wet you are for me. Do you want my tongue?"

"Yes," I beg. "Please!"

Spreading my lower lips with two fingers, he takes one long lick from my entrance up to my clit, and I nearly fly off the bed. So much better than any vibrator. Wrapping his arms around my hips to hold me down, he gets right to work, alternating long licks with flicks of his tongue then covering me with his mouth.

I grab hold of his hair, trying to keep myself anchored as he takes me higher and higher. "Oh… oh God… oh fuck…" I chant on an endless loop. He's so good at this and most importantly, he seems to really enjoy doing it.

When he clamps his mouth over me and sucks hard, I lose it, shaking and screaming as I come. He lifts his head and I finally let go of his hair as I fall back onto the bed. "Goddamn, you're good at that," I pant.

"And I'm not even close to finished with you. Turn over." I lazily do as he says, then bring my arms up, folding them underneath my head.

Edward gets up suddenly to go into the bathroom. When he returns I watch out of the corner of my eye as he squeezes a bottle of lotion into his palm. He starts back at my feet again, massaging them with his thumbs before he begins working his way up my legs. He kneads my ass cheeks, then continues his massage from my lower back up to my shoulders, until I feel like I could melt into the sheets.

I can feel he's hard again, as his cock brushes against me a few times when he reaches for my shoulders. I'm still startled though when he sits over my upper thighs, his legs outside of mine, and slides inside me. His hands settle on my back, kneading softly, and I turn my head to look over my shoulder to see him smiling at me as he fucks me slowly.

It's so different from before, but no less intense. He's clearly in no hurry.

"You're so tight like this," he whispers. "I'd come way too fast if I hadn't already come once tonight."

At some point, I turn my head to face forward again, closing my eyes as I just let myself feel. Edward shifts above me, stretching out his long body until I can feel his skin against mine from my shoulders to my feet. He sucks at my neck as he continues to thrust slowly into me, over and over.

"Bella," he whispers.

"Mmmm?"

"Lift your hips up, just a little."

As soon as I do it, I whimper as he begins hitting my g-spot on each thrust. It's not long before I'm perched on the edge, panting and moaning. He speeds up his movements and I shatter, my orgasm seeming to go on and on.

Instead of slowing down to let me ride it out, he speeds up even more until he's groaning as he comes deep inside me.

"Oh fuck," he moans as he pulls out. "You'll be the death of me one day, I swear."

I giggle, but I can't move from my place. After a minute or so, Edward gets up to start blowing out the candles and I finally force myself into action. I brought an overnight bag, so I walk out to get it before cleaning up in the bathroom and going about my nightly routine.

Once we're both in bed, Edward spoons behind me, leaning forward to kiss my cheek. "Thank you, Bella, for giving me another chance to do right by you."

* * *

 **A/N:** So, she lasted two weeks. ;) Going by what Edward said in his POV, it's been nearly five weeks since he's had sex. Must seem like a lifetime to him. Should Bella have made him wait longer?

Another big step for Edward, to share the things he has from his past with Bella. So far, so good, right?

 **Next chapter's title:** Oooh, 1990 for this one! A song by a rock band led by a pair of brothers.


	31. Jealous Again

**Author Note:** There were mixed opinions as to whether or not it was too soon for them to resume having sex. No surprise there!

A real stumper this time! Congrats to **KDMCAM** and **MIRosebud** , who were the only two to mention the song title, both after multiple attempts. Also **the real teacher** , **miracle36** , and **Scattycow** guessed the correct artist — The Black Crowes, led by brothers Chris and Rich Robinson — but couldn't get the song. Over two dozen of you guessed the Nelson twins, which I'd expected to be an alternate guess… just not such a popular one.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 30 – Jealous Again_

 **Club this weekend?**

I stare at the text on my phone, my heartbeat speeding up. The last two and a half weeks have been amazing, since Edward and I started having sex again. He's come by a handful of times during the week, and even met me for lunch once when he had a patient cancel. We may have had a quickie in the backseat of his car in my office parking lot.

I thought things were going well and he was happy with just me, but now…

 **Our memberships expire at the end of the month and we need to pick up the renewal applications.**

I feel slightly mollified when I read his second text. Maybe it's not so much that he's jonesing for another woman already, but that we've got "business" to take care of there. With Easter coming up the following weekend, we'll be out of town, so it makes sense to do it now… though I'm not sure I really _want_ to renew. I mean, if it's just going there to have public sex, that's one thing, but if he's interested in any kind of swapping partners…

If he's still interested in an open relationship, then it's better to find out sooner rather than later.

 _OK_ , I text back, through the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

* * *

Edward sleeps over on Friday night, since his first appointment isn't until 11am on Saturday. After he's left, I spend the afternoon shopping for candy and other things to put in the Easter baskets for my nieces and nephews, then come home to get changed for our night out.

I decide to wear the black leather mini-skirt and red halter top from my Halloween costume — only without the uncomfortable boots and blonde wig this time. And just like on Halloween, I skip the panties and bra. I can just imagine Edward trying to figure out if I'm wearing them or not while we're eating dinner.

When he knocks, I rush to answer the door, smiling at the way he groans as he looks me up and down.

"I remember that outfit," he says in a rough voice.

"I thought you might."

Edward pulls me in close with his arms around my waist for a steamy kiss, and the idea of ordering in then getting naked sounds like a really good plan.

"Fun later," he groans, pecking my lips. "We have dinner reservations to get to." I grab a jacket, letting him lead me out the door, his hand on the small of my back.

After we've placed our orders at the restaurant, I excitedly tell Edward about the Easter baskets I'm putting together for the kids. I love to mix inexpensive gifts in among the chocolate and the plastic eggs filled with quarters.

"I can't wait until Peyton is a little older. Sophie is a teenager now and she's outgrown all of the cute little girl things. At least I can start buying her nail polish and things like that."

I frown when Edward remains silent, just staring into his glass of wine. "I've never had an Easter basket… at least not that I can remember," he shrugs.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he shakes his head. "It's not _your_ fault." But I resolve right then and there that I'll make up a basket for him next weekend, too. I know from the ice cream toppings he always chose last summer that he's got a thing for Reese's.

After dinner, Edward drives us to the club. While we're stopped at a light, he suddenly looks over at me and smirks, then places his hand on my thigh. When the light turns green, he keeps his hand there, his fingers rubbing tiny circles as they inch their way underneath my skirt.

I hold my breath in anticipation as he gets closer and closer to discovering my lack of panties. Just… one… more… inch…

"Oh hell," he groans and I can't resist giving him a cheeky smile. "If I'd known this when we were in the restaurant…"

"You'd what?" I giggle. "You were sitting across a booth from me. You wouldn't have been able to reach me."

"I would've made sure I was sitting next to you," he argues, but I have no retort as one long finger pushes inside me.

I'd expected to be dreading the drive to the club, nervous about what could happen. But Edward's fingers keep up their steady torture as the miles fall away, ensuring that my mind is far from worrying about what might happen later.

As we arrive at the gates, Edward grabs his membership card from the dash and swipes it — without removing his fingers from under my skirt. He pulls into a parking spot and I have to shift the gear into PARK for him, since his right hand is a little busy.

"Come here," he orders, scooting his seat back, and I do my best to climb over into his lap. He claims my lips in a punishing kiss while his fingers finally speed up their movements until I get the release I've been craving.

I cling to Edward for a few moments before he removes his hand, sucking his fingers into his mouth. As I climb back into my own seat, I try to straighten my clothes, but he stops me. "Go in there looking freshly fucked."

"You're crazy sometimes," I chuckle, opening the car door. Once we've shown our badges to the bouncer, I check my coat, then let Edward lead me into the bar. He motions for me to save our seats at a high-top table, then comes back with a bottle of beer and two shots for me to drink.

I pick up one of the glasses, sniffing carefully. "What is it?"

"Just try it, Bella," he laughs. "There's Bailey's in it."

"There is?" I take a small sip and it's actually pretty good. "This might be the shot Victoria ordered for me at Club Twilight last year."

"You're supposed to drink shots quickly," Edward complains.

"Tell me what it is first."

"Bailey's and butterscotch schnapps. It's called a Buttery Nipple."

Of course he would pick something with a sexy name. I drink it up more quickly for him, then lick my lips. OK, I like these, despite the name.

Not wanting to get drunk, I pace myself, looking around the room as Edward drinks his beer. I try not to make eye contact with anyone though, since I'm not looking for a hook-up.

"Try your second shot," Edward suggests after a few minutes. "It's called Carrot Cake."

I pick up the shot glass, sniffing at it, but I can't determine what's in it.

"For God's sake, just drink it! I'll tell you later what it is."

I drink half of it in one gulp, trying to place the tastes on my tongue. There's a spice to it, but I wouldn't say it tastes like carrot cake. "Cinnamon?" I guess.

"Nice job," he smiles. "Bailey's, cinnamon schnapps and Frangelico."

"You seem to know a lot about shots," I ask, raising an eyebrow.

Edward shrugs. "I worked as a bartender during grad school. All of the women liked these. Want one more?" he asks, a gleam in his eye.

"You seem to want to get it for me."

Grinning, he gets up to order another shot for me. Edward has never mentioned before that he used to bartend. I can only imagine how many women he picked up with _that_ job.

The glass he returns with is topped with whipped cream, which looks interesting. "This one has Bailey's, Kahlúa and amaretto. You need to pick up the glass with your mouth and tip your head back to drink it."

"I'll make a mess!" I laugh.

"Then I get to lick the whipped cream off of you," he grins.

"What's this one called?" I ask, picking up the glass with my hand.

"I'll tell you later, but only if you drink it the right way. Set it down, then stand up and put your hands behind your back." Sighing, I do as he says, staring down at the glass. "Now clamp your mouth around the rim of the glass and tilt your head back until you can drink it."

"This is insane," I mutter, leaning forward. It's a good thing the glass is narrow. I wrap my mouth around it, then slowly stand up straight, praying I don't make a complete fool of myself. Once I'm up, I slam my head back, letting the alcohol slide down my throat.

Edward takes the glass from my mouth when I'm finished, grinning at me, then licks the whipped cream that ended up on my face. "Congratulations, Bella, you've just had your first Blowjob."

"Oh!" I exclaim, slapping his arm to his raucous laughter. "That's seriously what it's called?"

"Yes," he chuckles. "Have you never been to a bachelorette party?"

I shrug. "When my friend Angela got married last summer, she didn't have a traditional bachelorette party; her dad is a pastor. And I was underage when my siblings got married."

"Oh," he smiles. "Come on, let's dance since you're already standing."

Once I start walking, I realize how tipsy those three shots have made me. Edward and I step into the nightclub area, finding a place on the dance floor. For the next hour, we dance and rub up against each other and more or less have sex with our clothes on. It's great fun; all the alcohol has definitely made me lose my inhibitions about dirty dancing with him.

I am more than ready for a break when Edward leads me off the dance floor. Stopping at the edge of the room, he leans in for a quick kiss. "I'm gonna get another beer; I'll be right back and then maybe we can go into the other room?"

I nod, my face flushing at the implication. After the last hour of foreplay, he doesn't have to ask twice.

"Bella!" Tyler calls, walking up to me within 30 seconds of Edward walking away. "I saw you dancing with Edward."

"Um, yeah, we're, um, together now," I stutter. "Things are good."

"I'm glad," he smiles. "You didn't look like you were taking your break-up well."

Before I can answer him, a gray-haired man — perhaps in his early 50s — walks over toward us. "Hey there, sexy," he says, looking me up and down like I'm a piece of meat. "Want to get a room?"

"N-not really," I reply, trying to be nice. Tyler steps closer to me, laying his hand on my arm. The guy would be making me really uncomfortable if Tyler weren't standing there.

"Aw, come on, sugar," he pleads. "Let an old man show you how good experience can be."

"I leave you alone for two minutes and the wolves descend."

I look up at the sound of Edward's voice, noticing the almost murderous look on his face. He walks up to me, placing an arm around me possessively. "The lady isn't interested," he says to the older man, who stalks off with a shrug.

"Good to see you again, Edward," Tyler smiles, taking his hand from my arm and holding it out for Edward, who shakes it briefly. "My wife just went to the ladies' room. Maybe when she comes back, the four of us could get a room together and swap partners?"

My eyes widen at his suggestion. He wants to have sex with me next to his wife and Edward? While I do like Tyler, I really don't want to have sex with anyone but Edward. But what does _he_ want is the real question.

"Maybe some other time," Edward answers noncommittally, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

"Sure, man."

Edward presses on my back, leading me into the Room of Sin. I'm heading toward an open couch when he stops me and steers me toward a wall instead. He sets his bottle down, then presses my back against the wall, claiming my lips in a hard kiss.

"Right front pocket," he mumbles between kisses and I reach into his pants pocket, pulling out a condom and tearing the wrapper. Edward quickly opens his pants and pulls them down to his knees, then takes the condom from me and sheaths himself in it.

I hike my skirt up a bit and as soon as he's ready, he lifts me up, burying himself inside me in one hard thrust, making me cry out. I wrap my legs around him, desperate to hold on as it feels like he's trying to fuck me right through the wall.

He kisses me passionately until he can't anymore, moving on to sucking on my neck through his heavy breaths. I open my eyes, barely able to focus on the people in front of me who are watching us intently. I can see envy on their faces — both men and women — as he takes me higher and higher.

"Scream… when I make you come," he begs. "Let everyone… know how much… you're loving this."

Just a few more thrusts and I shatter. "Oh fuck… Edward!" I scream, unable to help myself. I cling to him as he freezes inside me.

When he pulls away, I can't decipher the look on his face and it worries me. He lowers my shaky legs to the floor and I hurriedly pull my skirt down, taking the tied-off condom from him to toss into a nearby trash can so he can pull his pants up.

Taking my hand, Edward leads me out of the room and up the stairs to the first open door. He drags me inside, slamming the door behind us, then sits on the bed, scooting toward the middle and burying his face in his hands. I don't know what's wrong with him and I'm almost afraid to speak or make even a move toward him.

"Edward?" I finally whisper, tiptoeing toward the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I've never… felt this before," he says, sounding distraught.

"Felt what?" I sit on the edge of the bed, still not close enough that I can touch him.

"To come back and see those men talking to you… to know they want you…" My brow furrows in confusion; he had no problem sharing me with Tyler six months ago.

He scrubs his hands over his face, then looks up at me. "Is this how you feel? Is this why you don't want an open relationship?"

"How do you feel, Edward?"

"Like I could strangle them with my bare hands!" he shouts. "It's this mess of rage and possessiveness and desire to claim you and… and _pain_ at the thought that you could've wanted one of them instead of me!"

I stare at him, a slow smile spreading across my face as what he's saying finally registers. "You mean you're jealous."

He nods slowly, mouthing the word as if testing out the feel of it on his tongue. "I don't want to share you," he pleads.

"I don't want to share you either," I admit. "I almost felt sick waiting for you to answer Tyler, waiting to see if you wanted to take him up on his suggestion."

"So… neither of us wants to share any longer?"

I shake my head. "Maybe we shouldn't renew our memberships then. I'm sure we can satisfy my exhibitionist tendencies some other way."

Edward chuckles humorlessly. "Me in a monogamous relationship — who ever thought they'd see the day?"

"Is this really what you want?" I ask, scooting closer to him so that I can touch his face. He brings his hand up, entwining his fingers with mine.

"The idea of sharing you… I can't do it. I just… I can't. And if you feel even half as bad at the thought of me with another woman, then… I can't do that to you either," he promises, green eyes pleading with me.

I smile at him. "Do you realize what this means? You felt emotion — strong emotion. Maybe it was a negative emotion, but… you're getting better, Edward."

"I'm getting better," he repeats, sounding incredulous. "I'm getting better!" he laughs, making me laugh with him.

* * *

 **A/N:** A major breakthrough for Edward, feeling jealous when he saw two men hitting on Bella! He's agreed to let their memberships lapse and go along with Bella's request for monogamy.

We also learned Edward tended bar during grad school. Disclaimer: I've never had any of those drinks… I think. They sound good though.

What should Bella put in Edward's Easter basket, besides Reese's? Remember he'll be receiving it in front of her family, so keep it family-friendly!

 **Next chapter's title:** It's Easter in Forks! This will probably be another tough one, as the title will make much more sense _after_ reading the chapter. A Top 5 hit by a family act from the mid 80s.


	32. Crush on You

**Author Note:** Most of you were very happy to see Edward's newfound jealous and possessive streak.

Congrats to **2loveybunnies** , **Azlady2003** , **GrandeDame** , **Scattycow** and **garddita17** for naming both the correct band and song title. Also **Capricorn75** , **LSU15** , **Breaking Aurora** , **natalie0118** and **Taylor9901** guessed the Jets correctly, but couldn't get the right song. Debarge was probably the most popular incorrect guess.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 31 – Crush on You_

After Edward arrives at my apartment on Saturday afternoon, he helps me carry my overnight bag and the Easter baskets downstairs and put them in the trunk of his Volvo, since he's insisted on driving us to Forks. Luckily, he doesn't question that there are six baskets.

Once we're on board the ferry, we go up on deck to check out the view, as Edward has never been on it before. Even with a fairly heavy coat on, I'm still cold in the wind so he stands with his arms wrapped around me from behind, trying to keep me warm.

I shiver when Edward places a soft kiss just below my right ear. "Give it to me straight — am I going to be punched by your dad and brother?"

"No," I reply, turning with a grin. "My sister confirmed that she didn't tell anyone the details of what she and I discussed at Christmas."

"Which was…?"

I sigh. "Rose, Mom and Alice all know that we were friends with benefits, and that you didn't want a real relationship, but only Rose also knows that… we weren't exclusive. I've told them all that things have changed and I made Rose promise to be nice."

"Is there a chance she wouldn't be?"

"She's pretty protective of her baby sister."

"So she'll junk punch me," he deadpans.

I peck his lips twice. "You'll be fine."

"I'm a little terrified," he admits, and I see the vulnerability in his eyes.

"You met Tanya's family, right?"

"Yeah, but…" he sighs, "I always knew that wasn't real. I didn't give a shit what they thought about me. I want your family to like me."

"Just be yourself and they will." I kiss him again, sweet and lingering, just enjoying the feel of his lips on mine.

We finally break apart when the announcement that we're nearing the dock on Bainbridge Island comes across the loudspeaker, making our way back to the car so we're ready to go. From the ferry terminal, it's about another two and a half hours to Forks.

As we drive through Port Angeles, I text my parents with an ETA, since cell service can be sporadic the rest of the way. We're planning to meet them for dinner at the Forks diner; I'm hoping that doing this meet-and-greet on neutral territory will put Edward more at ease.

Pulling into the parking lot, I point out my parents' car to Edward. I spot them in a booth when we step inside, taking his hand in mine as we walk toward them. My mom stands up and hugs me as if she hasn't seen me in years.

"Mom, Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Charlie and Renee Swan."

"That's _Chief_ Swan," my dad says as he shakes Edward's hand, making me roll my eyes. Mom surprises him with a quick hug, and then I motion for him to slide into the booth first.

"So, Edmund, what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"It's _Edward_ , Dad," I glare at him. "You don't have to answer that," I add, turning to my boyfriend.

"I intend to try to make her happy, Sir," he answers quietly, giving me a small smile. I reach down and squeeze his hand, then ask him to grab us the menus from the end of the table.

"How was your drive?" Mom asks.

"Fine," I nod. "Edward drove us in his car."

"Did you take the ferry?"

"Yeah. I know the long way is actually faster, but Edward had never been on the ferry before."

"Oh?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I've only lived in Seattle for about a year, Mrs. Swan."

"Oh gosh, you can call me Renee; I'm not as stuffy as my husband." I smile at my father's moustache twitching, then turn back to the menu, pointing out my favorite items to Edward.

"Bella says you're a psychologist," Dad says once we've placed our orders.

"Um, yes," he answers, clearing his throat. "I've been in practice for almost 12 years now."

"What kind of patients do you treat?"

"I'm trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, working mostly with adults who have OCD." I smile as Edward seems to relax, talking about his job. It's always been a 'safe' topic for him.

As we eat, Dad fills me in on all of the local gossip, as if I even remember half the people he's talking about. I'm not particularly friendly with any of my former classmates, but I muster up a smile when I hear so-and-so got married and this or that couple had their third child.

When we get to my parents' house, Mom helps us empty the trunk. "Why are there—" she starts, but I quickly put my finger to my lips. Once Edward is out of earshot, I whisper, "One of the baskets is for him."

Leaving the Easter baskets on the fireplace hearth, I start for the stairs to show Edward where to put our bags.

"You'll be in the craft room, Edward," Dad says, and I stop in my tracks.

"What?" I assumed we'd _both_ be staying in the guest room. There are just two pull-out futons in the craft room, which they use when several of the grandkids are sleeping over.

"You heard me," Dad says. "You two aren't married — separate rooms."

Rolling my eyes, I lead Edward up the stairs. The first room on the right is the bedroom I used to share with Rose, and is now their main guest room.

"I guess this is where I'm sleeping," I tell him, then once he's dropped my bag, I show him to the other room, where one of the futons has already been turned into a bed.

"Doesn't seem like the floor squeaks," he says with a wink.

"Edward!" I warn quietly, but he just looks at me innocently.

Downstairs, we endure a few hours of "tell embarrassing stories about Bella" before my dad declares that it's time for bed, since we'll need to get up for church in the morning — the one day a year we actually go. After Edward and I have taken turns in the guest bath, I crawl into bed. It's been a long day, even though I wasn't actually the one driving.

Perhaps five minutes later, I hear the sound of the door opening and footsteps tiptoeing across the floor. I smile to myself as the bed dips from Edward's weight. He spoons behind me, hugging me close. "Did I do OK?" he whispers, and I sense that he's truly worried.

"You did fine," I assure him quietly. "Now go to sleep."

"Can I have a goodnight kiss?"

Grinning, I turn over, letting him kiss me. I let him deepen it, let him slowly bring his hand up my side, but I have to put the brakes on when he tries to roll me onto my back.

"No, Edward." I can see his pout in the moonlight, but I'm not giving in. "Dad is probably listening for this."

He sighs and nods, and I move back to my original position; I doubt I'll be able to put him off two nights in a row, though.

* * *

The next morning, Edward sneaks out successfully when I hear the shower running in my parents' bathroom. Once we're all showered and dressed in our Sunday best, we head for the church, where we're meeting my brother and sister and their families.

"Look at you!" I exclaim, picking up two-year-old Peyton when she runs toward me in her pretty pink flowered dress. "You're getting so big!"

"Aunt Bewwa!" She gives me a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. I'm about to introduce her to Edward when she spots him on her own, her eyes widening. "Who dat?"

"That is my boyfriend, Edward," I proudly introduce him. Peyton holds her arms out toward him, but he just looks confused. "She wants you to hold her," I enlighten him.

"Oh," he replies, brow furrowed. But then he tentatively reaches out, taking the toddler from my arms and holding her awkwardly. I show him how to do it properly before he drops her.

"I see you've already met my daughter," Rose says as she walks up to us.

"Sh-she wanted me to hold her."

"I saw," Rose smiles, then introduces Emmett and the boys. "Finally, here comes our brother," she says, nodding down the aisle.

I turn my head, smiling at how Sophie is now taller than her mother, Alice. Scotty runs up to play with his cousins, while Sophie just looks sullen, like she'd rather be anywhere but here — until they get close enough for her to notice Edward and me.

"Sophie, come meet my boyfriend, Edward," I encourage her and she smiles brightly, no trace of that sullen child left. I have to try hard not to snicker at the fact that my nieces _both_ seem to have crushes on my boyfriend.

Once Dad has grabbed a row for us, we start filing down it. "Do you want come to Mommy, baby?" Rose asks, but Peyton just turns her head into Edward's chest.

Shaking her head, Rose takes her seat on Emmett's right, and Edward manages to sit down next to her, Peyton on his lap. I sit between him and Jasper, smoothing Peyton's blonde curls. She's like a little cherub, an exact duplicate of her mother at this age.

'Are you OK?' I mouth to Edward and he nods. "I think you have a fan," I whisper.

About 20 minutes into the sermon, Peyton finally starts squirming, trying to get Edward to put her down on the floor. As soon as he does, she sneaks past his knees over to Rose and begins pulling on her dress.

Smiling knowingly, Rose picks up her daughter and they make their way to the aisle. "She has to go potty," I whisper to Edward when he gives me a confused look.

"Oh," he replies, wrinkling his nose. "She's potty-trained?"

"As of last month, yes."

Now that his hands are free, he takes my hand in his, holding it throughout the rest of the sermon. When Rose and Peyton come back, she passes her off to Emmett.

Once it's over, we all stand up and the entire church becomes a bit chaotic between the families that just want to get out the door and those who want to stand around and chat. I'm in the former group, but no such luck.

"Isabella!"

Plastering a smile on my face, I turn around to greet Mrs. Cope, our now-elderly high school secretary. "Good to see you, Mrs. Cope."

"Is this your husband?" she asks, looking Edward up and down. "I hadn't heard that you'd gotten married!"

"Not husband, no. This is my boyfriend, Edward."

"Hello," he smiles, and I swear I see the old lady swoon.

"Oh, you need to snatch this one up, dear," she tells me with a smile. She turns to say hello to Jasper then, and I use the opportunity to slip out with Edward.

We manage to make it back to the house before the others. I still have a key, so I let us in. Edward tries to pull me into a kiss, but I put him off. "Stop," I giggle. "I need to start getting the ham into the oven."

He follows me into the kitchen, watching as I work, and after about 10 minutes, Jasper and his family show up, so I gain two helpers. Sophie usually never wants to help, but I think Edward's presence in the kitchen has inspired her.

Once the ham is baking and everyone has arrived, it's time for the kids to find the Easter baskets that their grandparents and I hid this morning. Each one has a name taped to the bottom, but they can usually tell whose is whose. Even the boys' are different since they have their own varying tastes in candy.

"This one says it's yours, Edward," Sophie says, handing him the basket I prepared, stuffed full of Reese's peanut butter cups, Reese's eggs and Reese's Pieces. I also added a selection of standard Easter candy — Peeps, Cadbury crème eggs, jelly beans, and of course, the must-have chocolate bunny — along with action figures and other toys, similar to what I got my nephews.

"Mine?" he questions, then looks over to me.

I give him a small smile. "You said you'd never had one," I shrug.

"Thank you, Bella," he says quietly, wrapping his free arm around me and kissing me. And Sophie sulks again.

"All right," Mom calls loudly, "You all know the rules. No more than one piece of candy is to be consumed before dinner." Cue the requisite grumbling from my nephews.

"That means you too, Edward," I point out, and he sticks he tongue out at me before pulling out a small bag of Reese's Pieces.

To counteract the sugar high, Jasper and Emmett suggest they take advantage of the nice day and go outside to play basketball, once everyone has changed out of their church clothes.

"Are you coming, Edward?" Sophie asks, bouncing on her feet as she slides her arms into her jacket.

"Me?"

"Sure," she smiles. "It'll be four against three then, since Pops always keeps score and Peyton is too little to play."

"You girls don't play?" he asks, turning to me with a smile.

"We have cooking to do," I answer. "Go on, have fun with the guys."

Once all of the men plus Sophie have left, the womenfolk head into the kitchen.

"Edward sure has made an impression on the young females in this family," Alice says with a smile.

"Yeah," I chuckle. "He may find we have to take Peyton home with us."

"He seems to have a way with ladies of all ages," Rose speaks up and I give her a silencing look. "He's hot, I'll give you that."

"Even Jake thinks he's hot," I snicker.

"So things are going well with you two?" Mom asks.

"They are." I've had an almost permanent smile on my face since Edward's epiphany last weekend.

"You said at Christmas that he wasn't interested in a relationship?" Alice prompts.

"Edward grew up in foster care," I explain. "He's damaged, but he's in therapy now and trying to deal with his issues. He's really been a model boyfriend since he came to me and asked me to give him another chance. I hope none of you will hold his past with me against him." I'm addressing all three of them, but I look specifically at Rose.

"He seems OK," she agrees. "But if he hurts you again, all bets are off."

Since I love to bake, I'm in charge of the desserts, while Mom, Alice and Rose work on the side dishes. I'm making two pies — chocolate cream and cherry — for the 13 of us.

Once the pie is in the oven, I peek outside at the game on the driveway. Peyton is sitting on her grandfather's lap in a lawn chair, while the rest of the kids take on their fathers and Edward. It seems like it would've been more of a fair fight without him, but I'm glad they included him.

"Five-minute warning, guys!" Mom shouts out the door when the ham looks to be almost done. Alice and I finish setting the table in the dining room, while Rose goes out to grab Peyton's high chair from their minivan.

"Who won?" Mom asks when they all come inside. "And wash your hands!"

"They clobbered us," Sophie says, rolling her eyes as she walks up to the kitchen sink. "Where are you and Edward sitting, Aunt Bella?"

"Oh, um, I hadn't really thought about it." I don't have to ask why she wants to know.

While Dad carves the ham, the other guys all help bring the side dishes to the table. I motion to Edward to take a seat and he chooses a chair two over from my mom's, leaving the one in between for me. Sophie quickly grabs the place on his other side.

It's just a really nice family meal; I'm glad that Edward is able to share it with us and learn what it's like to be a part of a large, loving family. Jasper and Emmett include him in their conversations and he seems to be accepted by everyone. Some more than others, I note as Sophie keeps trying to talk to him. If Peyton wasn't at the far end of the table next to Rose, she probably would be too.

Once the pies are on the table, Rose and Emmett suddenly stand up, linking their hands. "We have an announcement to make," she says with a wide smile.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks to **EdwardsFirstKiss** for the help with Edward's specialty.

How is Edward doing so far? He was nervous, but so far there has been no junk punching. _And_ he's charmed pretty much all of the females in Forks. Except he couldn't charm Bella into having sex in her parents' house.

I imagine it isn't difficult to guess what Rose and Emmett's announcement will be! More important is the conversation this finally prompts.

 **Next chapter's title:** This is an easy one, right? A #1 hit by a female artist from 1991… it practically named itself.


	33. Baby Baby

**Author Note:** Glad everyone enjoyed the lighter chapter!

An easy one this time, as I expected! Congrats to **liatb01** , **2loveybunnies** , **TrulyOutrageous** , **mommymac0508** , **anglictash** , **pengirl25** , **jaspee** , **Karen Cullen Grey** , **katbarpar** , **Capricorn75** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **miracle36** , **Tay240** , **Romana973** , **Rebadams7** , **sherylb** , **shaz308** , **starsmina** , **libbyg1980** , **Azlady2003** , **KDMCAM** , **Kathryn L. Malone** , **MIRosebud** , **Taylor9901** and several Guests for guessing the song that was _almost_ Christian singer Amy Grant's only pop hit.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 32 – Baby Baby_

"We're pregnant!" Emmett announces, and the room erupts in congratulations and questions. "We're due on Halloween," he answers someone's query. "Wouldn't that be the coolest birthday?"

I stand up to hug my sister. "Congratulations… even if I do think you're insane!" She smiles broadly, hugging me back. I don't know how I'd missed the pregnancy glow. When I sit back down, I notice that Edward seems to be rather quiet. I don't know if it's because he feels like a bit of an outsider with this family news — or if it's the news itself.

As is tradition, the guys clear the table and load the dishwasher while the women and children relax in the family room. The boys are all lying on the floor, playing some sort of video game on the flat screen.

"Are you hoping for a girl or boy?" Alice asks Rose.

"Officially neither, but… I'd love to even the score among the cousins," she smiles.

"How have you been feeling?" I ask.

"I'm a little tired, but otherwise fine."

"You have the easiest pregnancies," Alice whines. "I'd totally have another if the last one didn't about kill me."

"Please, don't," Sophie groans. "It's like, embarrassing, for your mom to have a baby."

We're all chuckling at her when the guys come back in. Edward takes the seat next to me, while Jasper and Emmett join their sons on the floor. Peyton climbs down from her mom's lap, then walks over to Edward and me, holding her arms out for Edward.

This time, he knows what to do, so he picks her up and she makes herself comfortable on his lap. I smile at her toddler crush on him. Sophie is probably upset that she's too old, and too big, to do the same.

All the while the grown-ups are chatting, Peyton sits quietly in Edward's arms. I don't think I've ever seen her so content to be in one place. It really is adorable, and I'm glad he's being such a good sport about it. I already thought he was a great guy, as Tanya had said, but his stock goes up a bit now, in my estimation.

After a half hour or so, Peyton climbs down, walking over to her Easter basket.

"No more candy," Rose warns, but instead the toddler turns around with one of her new books in her hand.

She walks back over to us, climbing onto Edward's lap again. "Do you want me to read the book to you?" I ask with a smile. She shakes her head, pointing at Edward. "You want Edward to read you the story?"

"Yeah!" She grins widely, holding out the book for him. He takes it from her then opens it to the first page as she makes herself comfortable again. I smile as Edward starts reading quietly to her.

After a couple of minutes, Peyton frowns. "Not doing it right!"

"What?" he asks, confused.

"She wants you to make different voices for the characters," Emmett clarifies.

"Oh," he frowns, but he does start doing different voices as he continues reading. It's the cutest thing ever, and Peyton seems to be happy.

"I think she's asleep," I whisper after a few more minutes. He stops reading and there's no complaint from my niece, so I take the book from his hands.

"Do you want me to take her?" Rose asks. "She sleeps like a log; she won't wake up."

"She's OK," he answers, making me smile.

Peyton is still asleep when Rose and Emmett start getting ready to leave; the boys have school tomorrow. Once they've got the baskets and both boys in the minivan, Rose carefully takes her daughter from Edward's arms.

"Thanks," she whispers.

I follow them out to the car so I can hug Rose goodbye once she's got Peyton in her car seat.

"If you two stick this out, he's gonna make a great dad," she smiles. I force a smile back, but little does she know — that's not likely to happen. He doesn't seem to hate children though, so I find myself even more curious about why he chose to get a vasectomy. He's been pretty open with me since Valentine's Day, so I plan to ask him at the first good opportunity.

Dad has an early shift in the morning, so he heads up to bed as soon as Jasper and Alice have left. I took tomorrow off work so we don't have to rush back to Seattle tonight. Edward and I stay up with Mom for a little while longer before going upstairs.

Like last night, I've been in bed for about five minutes when Edward crawls in with me. It's our first chance to be alone since the short drive back here after church, but I'm afraid of bringing up the topic of his vasectomy now. What if he doesn't respond well? He didn't the first time I asked.

Rolling over to face him, I run my fingers through his hair. "Did you have a good day?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah, I did," he sighs. "Your family was very welcoming; I'm glad I came. And, um, I'm sorry I didn't react as well when you invited me for Thanksgiving." I smile, leaning in for a quick kiss.

"I never really thought you'd accept back then, but I just felt so bad, thinking about you spending such a family holiday alone."

"Honestly, I just thought of it as a normal day, one where I didn't have to go to work. I went to the fitness center in my building and ate leftovers from the night before." I wonder if he went to the club after he ate his leftovers, but then again, I really don't want to know.

"I never had a chance to ask how it went outside with the guys." At least he didn't come back inside with any visible bruises.

"Fine," he shrugs. "The kids were there as a buffer."

"Right," I chuckle. "So none of them cornered you alone to teach you a lesson?"

"No."

"Good. I think I might have two little rivals for your affection though."

He laughs quietly, reaching out to pull me close. "It's no contest, Bella."

When his lips touch mine, I can read the obvious intent. I want him too though — even if we are in my parents' house and supposed to be sleeping in separate bedrooms — so I kiss him back, opening my mouth when his tongue begs for entry.

Our clothes come off slowly, piece by piece, our lips only separating when necessary. Once we're both naked, Edward rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him. His mouth reaches for my breasts and I have to hold in my moan as he sucks on one of my nipples.

I start sliding back and forth over his hard cock, while he continues to lavish attention on my breasts. I could probably come like this if we keep it up long enough, but I'm as shameless for his cock as he always says I am.

Reaching down, I place his cock at my entrance, then slowly slide down, letting him fill me.

"You gotta be quiet, baby." Edward tugs on my arms until I'm nearly lying flat on top of him, then claims my mouth again as he begins to thrust up into me. His hands seem to be all over me. In the darkness, covered by the sheet and blanket, we're as close as two people can be. It feels incredibly intimate.

"You always feels so good," he mumbles against my lips. "When we were apart, I'd dream about you sometimes… wish I was with you."

Hearing that spurs me to move a bit faster, to kiss him a bit deeper. His hands move to my ass so he can move me just the way he wants.

"I'm gonna come," I groan.

"Come all over my cock, baby. Let me feel you," he begs.

"Oohhhhh…" I try to keep my moans and whimpers down, in case one of my parents is still awake, but it's so difficult when he's making me feel like this.

"Let go, baby…"

"Oh… fuck," I cry softly when I finally come. I'm startled when Edward sits us up, moving me up and down his cock until he freezes, his face a mix of pleasure and pain as he grunts softly, spilling inside me.

"Each time is better than the last," he says, sounding almost in awe.

"Definitely," I agree.

Lying back, he hugs me close, his cock still inside me. I know I need to go clean up, but I really don't want to move. I'll regret it in the morning if I don't though — I only needed to make that mistake once.

"Gotta get up, Edward," I whisper.

"'kay," he mumbles, already nearly asleep. I smile at him, then carefully climb off. Of course, I quickly realize that I'm naked and the guest bathroom isn't an en suite. I put my pajama top on, thankful that it covers just enough, then sneak out into the hallway.

When I return, Edward is lying on his side, facing the middle of the bed. I climb in beside him, kissing his closed eyelids.

* * *

After having breakfast with Mom, Edward and I hit the road back to Forks, arriving at my apartment mid-afternoon. I empty my overnight bag, then crash on the couch with him. Finally I have a chance to ask him about what's been nagging me since last night.

"Edward?" I begin hesitantly, looking up at him. I can see by the line in his forehead that he knows this won't be an easy discussion. "You were so great with Peyton and Sophie. You obviously don't hate kids, right?"

"No, I don't hate them," he answers quietly. "I'm not very familiar with them, but I don't hate them. Peyton is adorable," he smiles.

"So why did you choose to get a vasectomy?"

Sighing, he runs his hand through his hair in that familiar nervous gesture, then licks his lips. "During my freshman year of college, I had a semi-regular hook-up named Tia. She said she was on the pill and she wasn't hooking up with anyone else, so she said I didn't need to use a condom. Of course, as an 18-year-old guy, that was like the best news ever.

"Just after Spring Break, Tia came to my dorm room all upset. She said she was… late, and her roommate had gone out to buy her a pregnancy test." I gasp softly, finally understanding his reaction when he first learned that my brother has a 13-year-old.

"It was like my life flashed before my eyes, Bella," he says, green eyes boring into mine. "That's the only way to describe it. I could see my entire future crashing and burning. If Tia was pregnant, if she wanted to keep it… I'd be stuck supporting a kid I didn't want for the next 18 years. And with what? My grandfather was paying for my school, I didn't have much money of my own. I'd have to get a job, maybe drop out of college… It'd mean the end of all of my dreams.

"I didn't want to be tied down forever to a woman I didn't give a shit about," he continues, his voice rising. "Beyond that, I already knew I couldn't love anyone. What if I couldn't love my own child? How could I bring a baby into the world _knowing_ that it would grow up without the love of two parents? I knew what that was like and I wouldn't wish it on any child."

Edward seems agitated, so I reach out, rubbing his upper arm in comfort. I don't believe for a minute though that he wouldn't have been able to love his own child. "Do you want me to get you something to drink?"

He smiles gratefully. "A beer, please?" I've started keeping his favorite brand in my fridge for when he comes over, so I get up and get him a bottle. He takes a long sip, then stares at the bottle in silence for a while, fiddling with the edge of the label.

"I vowed that I would never again have sex without a condom, even if the girl claimed to be on the pill. And I started looking into getting a vasectomy, to take care of the risk permanently, since condoms aren't 100%. It took until I was 25 and back in Chicago to find a doctor who would do it."

"But by that time, you weren't an 18-year-old kid anymore."

"Maybe, but the problem of not being able to love my own child hadn't gone away," he answers, and I frown. I understand his issues with forming an emotional connection with others, but his own child? Sure, there are parents who don't love their children, but it's not very common, is it?

And then I realize he skipped a bit in his story.

"So… the pregnancy test was negative? Or…"

"It was positive," he says softly and my eyes widen. "Relax, Bella," he says quickly when he sees my expression. "I don't have a child out there. Tia refused to get an abortion, but she miscarried just before classes ended."

"Ohh…" I breathe.

"She was all upset, crying, and she wanted me to comfort her. But all I felt was relief; my life wasn't ruined after all. She got even more upset because I _wasn't_ upset. Needless to say… I never saw her again."

He takes another long sip of his beer, then leans forward to set it on a coaster on the coffee table. "So there you have it," he says. "You know exactly what kind of guy I am."

"And what kind would that be?" I ask sharply.

"The kind that tried to talk the girl he accidentally got pregnant into getting an abortion. The kind who was relieved instead of grieving when that baby died."

"Edward…" I sigh. "You were young and freaked out, with no support system. I can understand that. I remember what it was like when Jasper and Alice told us she was pregnant. Her parents wanted her to put the baby up for adoption, but they refused."

He remains silent, grabbing forcefully at his hair.

"You know, despite your issue with emotions, I have a hard time believing you wouldn't have been able to love your own child. And now, with therapy…"

"If my therapy is successful, then yeah, I would probably be able to love a child sometime in the future. It's too late for that though — I took care of it 10 years ago."

I don't know the stats on success rates, but I know a vasectomy _can_ be reversed. It's far too early in our relationship to even mention something like that to him though. Let him figure out how to love and connect emotionally with _me_ first.

"Thank you for telling me the story, Edward." I reach out to take his hand, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles.

"Thank you for not rejecting me after you learned the truth," he says quietly.

"Were you really afraid of that? Is that why you never told me about this earlier?" He hesitantly nods, and I scoot closer, hugging him tightly. Sometimes I get this glimpse of the sweet, vulnerable little boy he must've been and I can just feel myself falling harder and harder for him. I couldn't stop it if I wanted to.

I place a soft kiss on his cheek, and he turns his head so that he can capture my lips in his. I let him deepen it for a few moments before pulling away.

"You know, I might have another Easter basket waiting for you in my bedroom."

"Another one?" he chuckles. "I don't think I'll need to buy any more candy for the rest of the year."

I grin at his cute obliviousness. "This one may have more, ah, _adult_ toys than the one you got in front of my family."

"Race you to the bedroom."

* * *

 **A/N:** Finally we get the story of why Edward got a vasectomy! I'm dying to know what you're thinking! Do you think he would've been able to love his own child had Tia not miscarried? Should Bella have brought up the fact that vasectomies can be reversed or was she right to postpone _that_ conversation?

And for those of you calling for it, Edward got a special, private Easter basket.

 **Next chapter's title:** Staying in the 90s… A 1991 #2 hit by a band out of England. I'd call them a one-hit wonder, but they had another Top 4 hit that I didn't remember until I found it on youtube.


	34. Right Here, Right Now

**Author Note:** Where are all my reviewers? You guys have gone pretty quiet the last several chapters, after keeping me so busy I couldn't finish in one night.

Congrats to **Azlady2003** , **2loveybunnies** , **tawelephant** , **Capricorn75** , **GrandeDame** , **shaz308** , **astonmartin823** , **Rebadams7** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **karo29** , **sherylb** , **MIRosebud** , **Ninkita** and **Taylor9901** and for guessing the only _memorable_ hit song by the band Jesus Jones. EMF's _Unbelievable_ was the most popular incorrect guess.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 33 – Right Here, Right Now_

The weeks following Easter are a busy time for me at work as we prepare for a new product launch. We'll be announcing it at our annual agent conference, and because I'm the actuarial project lead, I've been asked to attend the conference and present, along with other team leads, our Marketing department and upper management.

Every other year, we hold the conference in Seattle, but as our agents are spread across the country, we're holding it in Chicago this year, to be more centrally accessible to everyone.

As soon as I'm tapped to attend, I ask Edward if he wants to come with me. I've never been to Chicago, so I'd love to take a few extra days and see the city before the two-day conference. And what better way to see it than with a tour guide who lived there for 10 years?

I know Edward isn't a huge fan of his former city, but he agrees to come with me. He has a handful of friends there that he plans to visit with while I'm busy at the conference.

We leave SeaTac early on the Saturday morning before the conference. With the time difference and the four-hour flight, we land in Chicago just past noon, then take a cab downtown to our hotel, which is located near the southern end of the Magnificent Mile.

Our room isn't ready yet, so we drop off our bags with the bell desk, then start walking up Michigan Avenue. Edward promises I can shop on the way back to the hotel, so we don't have to carry anything I buy quite as far, and I agree. Our first stop is the Ghirardelli Chocolate Shop, where we both get huge, yummy hot fudge sundaes for "lunch" and I buy some chocolates for my nieces and nephews, since I'll be in Forks next weekend for Mother's Day.

From there, we visit 360 Chicago, the 94th floor observatory in the John Hancock building. The view of the city and Lake Michigan is amazing, and it's great having Edward with me to point out everything I'm seeing — just as I did for him when we visited the Space Needle in Seattle.

There are so many malls and individual stores along Michigan Avenue, and I'm sure he's more than a little bored watching me shop. The only store that seems to interest him is the Victoria's Secret in Water Tower Place. I let him pick out lacy panties for me as a concession.

We make it back to our hotel in the early evening, then take our suitcases and my shopping haul up to our room. After freshening up, we head out for dinner.

Edward isn't a huge fan of Chicago-style pizza, but he agrees to eat at Giordano's with me so that I can try it. We split a small deep dish pizza, along with a toasted ravioli appetizer which I've never heard of before. The pizza takes quite a while to bake, so by the time we've finished splitting our cannoli dessert, it's late and we're both exhausted from getting up so early to get to SeaTac. We pretty much crash as soon as we get back to the hotel.

On Sunday, Edward shows me around some of the main tourist attractions in Chicago, like Navy Pier and Shedd Aquarium, and then we get on the 'L' to go visit some of his favorite places around the city.

It's a really fun day, and I like Chicago a lot, at least from what I've seen as a tourist. This is our first trip together as a couple, and it seems to be going well so far, giving me hope for the future.

* * *

I'm nervous as hell when I wake up on Monday, the day of my presentation. Edward declares that orgasms will help relax me, and by the time he's finally done with me, I'm almost late getting to the large conference room at our hotel. As it is, I miss breakfast.

Despite all of this, I can still barely manage more than a few bites of my lunch. I've got my phone set to vibrate, and when I get a text message about 10 minutes before I'm scheduled to present, I sneakily pull it out to check it.

 **Break a leg. Xoxo**

I smile at my sweet boyfriend, calming somewhat as I await my turn on stage.

My presentation goes well — all of the team leaders do a great job — and the agents seem energized and excited about the new product. Hopefully that means sales will be good.

The conference concludes for the day at 5pm, then I head back to our room. I've got about an hour to kill before all of the team leads and upper management are having dinner together, along with any significant others in attendance. It'll be my first work event with Edward as my boyfriend, but I'm more excited to show him off than nervous.

"Hey," he greets me with a smile when I get back to our room. "How did your presentation go?"

"It went really well," I smile back. "I'm just so relieved, more than anything. Thank you for your text."

"You're welcome, baby."

I stand on my tiptoes, sharing a few kisses with him. "How was your day?"

"It was good," he says. "I stopped in at my old office this morning, then had a late lunch with a couple friends. I spent the afternoon walking along the lake shore, so I probably need a quick shower before dinner. Care to join me?"

He raises an eyebrow and it's definitely tempting, but… "I need to check on any emails at the office. You can have me in the shower tomorrow morning, promise."

"Are you sure I can't convince you?" he asks, placing his hand on my hip and rubbing small circles.

"I'm sure you can, but you won't, because you know I need to work." Sticking his tongue out, he heads into the bathroom while I sit down with my laptop.

Ten minutes later, Edward comes out of the bathroom dressed only in a towel wrapped around his waist. A few drops of water cling to his chest and I stare unabashedly as he drops the towel and steps into his underwear. Too bad I couldn't grab for my phone quickly enough to snap a picture.

"You're shameless," I complain, and he winks.

Once I've finished going through my emails, I take off my business suit and put on the black dress I bought especially for tonight.

"Wow," Edward breathes, looking me up and down. "Do we really have to go to this thing?"

"Yes," I chuckle. "Down boy."

When we're both ready to go, we head downstairs to meet the group in the lobby. I proudly introduce Edward to any of my coworkers that I spot, pleased when he seems to charm both the women _and_ men. We're all taking cabs to the restaurant, so Edward and I grab one with two of the other team leads. He points out a few places of interest to us on the way.

The restaurant where we're having dinner is on the top floor of one of the older buildings in the city. Adjacent to the main dining area, there is a large private room surrounded by tall windows, which is where we'll be.

After ordering cocktails, Edward and I step outside onto the rooftop patio garden, which has amazing views of downtown Chicago.

"I know you didn't like living here, but I like what I've seen of Chicago."

"That's because you're here in May, when the weather is nice. And you aren't dealing with the traffic day in and day out."

"Seattle has traffic too though."

"It does," he agrees. "Not as bad."

"Where was your loft from here?" We didn't pass close enough to where he'd lived for me to see the building up close yesterday.

Taking my hand, he leads me to the edge of the rooftop, then points it out. "Right in the middle of everything, pretty much like I am now."

While we stand there together, a few others come outside to take in the view. We chat with a couple of them for a while, then go back inside so we can sample the various appetizers that waiters are bringing around. I especially enjoy the mini crab cakes and spanakopita.

As we take our seats for dinner, I introduce Edward to anyone he didn't meet earlier. Besides the several delicious courses, there is plenty of alcohol flowing. The bottles of wine that our division head orders for the table aren't quite sweet enough for me, but I try. Dessert is a sinfully huge piece of chocolate cake, layered with creamy chocolate mousse, and I can't help moaning as I eat it. I may also be a bit tipsy.

When I get up to use the ladies' room, Edward stands up with me to stretch his legs and get some air. I have to go through the main dining area to the back of the busy restaurant, where of course I encounter a line that must take me almost 10 minutes to get through. Seems like everyone had the same idea after dinner.

Once I've washed my hands, I touch up my make-up and run my fingers through my hair, then head back to our private dining room. I look around for Edward, finally spotting him near the patio door.

"Hey," he greets me, "Can we go?"

"You want to leave?" He nods, seeming almost a bit agitated. "Why? Is something wrong?"

He startles me, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me in close. "Nothing's wrong, except that you look entirely too tempting in that dress and I really need to get you out of it."

I check my watch. "They said they'd have cabs here in about a half hour. Can you wait that long?"

"No," he growls. "Come with me."

Edward leads me out onto the patio, then off to the left until we come to a little alcove behind a large potted plant and away from the windows. He pulls me into a hard kiss and I wrap my arms around his neck as I get as close to him as I possibly can.

"Bella," he moans, while his hands squeeze my ass, "Please let me have you."

"Here?" I ask in disbelief.

"What's wrong with here?" he asks, kissing me again. "It's private."

As I look around, I realize the patio is empty, except for us, and we do seem to be out of sight to anyone in the restaurant. Though I imagine people in other tall buildings around us could probably see us, if they're looking this way. But the logistics… he can't very well hold me up against the brick wall — my dress is backless!

"How do you propose we do it?" I ask, at least willing to consider this.

Edward motions for me to turn around, then wraps his arms around me, bringing his hands up to cup my breasts. "No bra?" he growls.

"Only what's built in to the dress," I admit.

Kneading my breasts in his hands, his lips suck at the right side of my neck. I close my eyes, letting go of everything except the feel of his hands on me.

"Stay still," he whispers, and then I feel him reaching under my dress to grab hold of my panties and pull them down. I step out of them, watching over my shoulder as he stuffs them into his jacket pocket.

Edward encourages me to take a couple of steps forward and brace my hands on the wall, then spreads my legs. I hear the sound of his pants unzipping, some fumbling, and then his feet shuffling as he comes closer to me. He flips the bottom of my dress up and I shiver at the cool breeze on my bare cheeks.

"Remember you can't scream," he says, a smile in his voice, as he begins sliding his cock back and forth between my legs. I hold my breath as he pushes inside, until I can feel the fabric of his pants against my backside. I chuckle, realizing he's just pulled his cock through the hole instead of actually taking his pants off.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he moans. "Hold on tight."

I brace myself as he pulls out then slams back in. His arms come back around me, pulling and tweaking at my nipples through the thin fabric while he pistons his hips. I try hard to keep my moans in check as I push back against his thrusts.

I've had sex in front of dozens of people, yet somehow this feels even naughtier than anything else I've ever done. While my boss isn't just inside the door, my boss's boss's boss _is_. This corner of the patio is quiet and isolated, but if anyone else comes outside for some air? We are so caught. Thank God there's no smoking allowed out here, or I think it'd be more popular.

I whimper when Edward's right hand slides down my front and then under my skirt. His fingers circle and press while his breaths fan across my ear.

"So fucking sexy," he groans. "Need you to come, baby."

"C-close…"

His hips never stop their relentless pounding, and the combined sensations finally send me flying. "Oh fuck!" I cry out, unable to help myself. A few more strong thrusts and he freezes, groaning in pleasure.

He pulls out quickly and I feel my skirt fall down. By the time I feel like I can let go of the wall and turn around, Edward already has his pants zipped. He pulls me into his arms, then tilts my head back so that he can kiss me almost desperately.

"Are you sure nothing is wrong?" I ask, a little confused by his odd behavior.

"Bella! There you are!" our product compliance leader calls, making me nearly jump out of my skin. "We couldn't figure out what had happened to you, but now I see you just wanted a little privacy with your boyfriend." She winks, smiling at me, and I hope that means they've only _just_ come outside.

"S-sorry," I answer, trying to slow my racing heart.

"Oh, no worries!" She waves her hand, still smiling. "I think some people were going to start heading downstairs."

"All right; we'll come down with you." I grab Edward's hand and start walking toward them, quickly realizing that I'm going to need to stop by the ladies' room first.

Once we're in the main dining area, I tug on his hand, motioning toward the back of the restaurant. There's no line now, so I quickly clean up, then come back to find Edward waiting right outside for me.

We get into the elevator by ourselves and he pulls me in for another kiss. "You didn't want to make a mess in the back of the cab?" he grins.

"This is not funny," I retort, which just makes him laugh. "Do you realize how close we came to getting caught?"

"Upped the excitement factor, didn't it?" OK, he's really got me there, but still…

"Yes, but… most of our upper management was less than 50 feet away from us when you got all horny!"

"I'm always horny around you, baby," he says, taking my hand as the elevator doors open.

As we wait for a cab, he stands with his arms wrapped around me from behind, periodically placing soft kisses on the side of my neck. "You know you never gave me my panties back," I turn around to whisper.

"All the better to finger you in the back of the cab then," he winks. I can feel my face burning at the suggestion, making him chuckle.

"You're my kinky girl," he whispers, kissing me softly.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, Bella's first work trip with Edward, and first trip in general, went well. He handled meeting her coworkers as her boyfriend much better than the first time!

Public sex for the win! After they nearly got caught, Bella forgot about getting an answer to her question about his behavior. What do you think was up with Edward? Or was he just horny for her?

 **Next chapter's title:** Back to the mid-80s and the second #1 hit by a British synthpop band, with a little help from some American R &B producers.


	35. Human

**Author Note:** Hmmm… seems like most of you believe there was more going on last chapter than just horny Edward!

Congrats to **Capricorn75** , **shaz308** , **KDMCAM** , **Azlady2003** , **NotoriousMissT1** , **MIRosebud** , **sherylb** , **Scattycow** , **TrulyOutrageous** and **Romana973** and for guessing the Human League's second and last #1 hit. Duran Duran seemed to be the most popular incorrect guess.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 34 – Human_

 **Are you home?**

 _Just packing up to leave the office. Why?_ I text back.

 **I'll meet you at your apt.**

I shake my head, smiling to myself as I slide my phone into my purse. Clearly, my boyfriend wants a mid-week booty call. It's not like I mind; I never turn him down. After he gets what he's after, we'll probably go out to dinner, or maybe just order in. I don't really have anything else planned for this evening.

My office is much closer to my apartment than either Edward's office or condo, so I arrive home before he shows up. I take off my work clothes, putting on something more casual — though I suspect I won't remain clothed for long — then take a few sips from an ice cold bottle of water.

When Edward knocks at the door, I hurry to answer it. He accosts me with a kiss pretty much the second he steps across the threshold. I haven't seen him in two days, so I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him back.

In short order, he's lifted me off the floor and is walking me through the apartment toward my bedroom. I just wrap my legs around his waist and hang on.

He deposits me on the bed, immediately reaching for the bottom of my shirt. As soon as he's pulled it over my head, he unhooks and removes my bra. I cry out when his mouth attaches to one of my breasts, running my fingers through his hair as he licks, sucks and teases both nipples into hard peaks.

Suddenly he sits back, reaching for the waistband of my leggings. He pulls them and my panties down at the same time then dives in with his mouth between my legs.

"Oh fuck…" I throw my head back and close my eyes as his lips and tongue take me right to the brink. Once his long fingers join in, I'm done for; I nearly pull his hair out when I come.

And I realize, he hasn't said a word since he came through the door.

Edward quickly sheds his clothes then stares down at me like I'm something to eat. "How do you want me?" I ask cheekily.

"Just like that," he rasps. "Legs spread wide, and eager for my cock."

He brings his long, lean body down on top of me, then wraps my legs around his waist and slides inside me.

"Oh, so good," he moans. He quickly sets a punishing pace, while his mouth bounces between my lips, my neck and my breasts. I don't know what's gotten into him, but I'm certainly reaping the benefits! It doesn't take long before I'm climbing toward another orgasm.

"Bella," he cries. "Oh fuck, you feel so good…" His thrusts are becoming erratic, but I'm not quite there yet. I just need a little more to tip me over the edge. "Can't… lose you… need you…"

Edward freezes inside of me, his actions and his words triggering my own climax. I cry out his name as the delicious white hot heat spreads outward from my center. I barely even notice as he pulls out, flopping onto his back.

Seconds later, he sits up and grabs his underwear, then scoots back against the pillows and buries his face in his hands. It reminds me of that night at the club when he was overcome by his first feelings of jealousy.

"Edward?" I whisper. "What's wrong with you?" I reach out to touch his leg and he reacts as if startled.

"I didn't…" he mumbles. "Oh God, I came so close. I… I…"

"So close to what?" I ask, sitting up. I reach out to run my hand through his hair and he looks up at me, his face tortured.

"I almost… cheated," he whispers. "I… I had opportunity and… Please… please, Bella, forgive me!"

I tug on the top sheet, wrapping it around myself as I stare at him. He almost slept with another woman? My heart feels like it wants to beat right out of my chest.

"Say something," he begs.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" I suggest, trying to remain calm.

"OK," he whispers. "I-I was working out in the fitness center in my building after work and this woman… propositioned me. She said she'd been watching me for a few weeks, and… and then she began to list out her various 'talents'. She was incredibly hot and forward and up until these last few months, I wouldn't have hesitated to find the first convenient place to fuck her."

"But you didn't," I clarify, tears pricking at my eyes.

He shakes his head. "I wanted to," he whispers. "Some huge part of me wanted to do it. My adrenaline started pumping and…my dick started twitching. It would've been so easy." He stops, swallowing thickly. "But I told you I wouldn't have sex with other women. And so I ran. I ran for the elevators, and I texted you as soon as I got back to my condo."

I can't do anything but sit there in a daze. It feels like this perfect bubble we've been in for over three months is collapsing. He said he didn't want to share me, but he never truly said he no longer wanted other women — only that he didn't want to hurt _me_ by doing it.

"Was this the first time?" I ask quietly.

He starts to speak but then stops, shaking his head. "There was one other time when a woman came on to me, and… I didn't do it then either, but…"

"But you wanted to," I finish, starting to feel sick to my stomach.

He nods. "She… it was a few weeks ago, when we were in Chicago."

I look up sharply, my brow furrowed. "At the restaurant… when you suddenly had to have me right then and there."

"Yes," he whispers.

"Who was it?" I demand, furious at the thought that one of my coworkers could've hit on my boyfriend the moment my back was turned. Or was it one of the restaurant staff?

"She was sitting toward the far end of our table. Heidi something?"

My eyes widen. "Heidi Fisher? The wife of our Chief Marketing Officer?"

"Yeah," he nods. "Her. She, um, she and her husband are apparently members of the club, and she'd seen me there before my membership lapsed. So she thought I'd be interested in hooking up."

"Our CMO and his wife are members of the club? Oh my fucking God…" My breathing speeds up as I start to panic. If Heidi saw Edward there, does that mean she saw _me_ there too? Did her _husband_ see me there? Or did she tell him I was there? Does someone in our upper management know I belonged to a swingers club?

"Bella!" Edward shouts. "Relax!"

"What if they saw me there?!" I exclaim.

"They didn't," he says forcefully.

"How can you be sure?" I nearly scream.

"Relax, Bella," he says again. "Heidi said she wondered if you knew 'what I was into'."

"You're sure?" I try to take deep breaths. If that's true, then she just thinks I'm with a guy who cheats on me. Not great, but not nearly as bad as our CMO watching me have sex in public.

"I'm _sure_ , Bella." He stops, running his hand through his hair. "I excused myself and came back inside, wondering where the fuck you were. I never for a moment contemplated actually doing it."

"But this time you did," I state, more than ask.

He nods. "I haven't so much as touched another woman in four months — that's like two lifetimes to me!"

And that remark is like a punch in the gut to _me_. "Are-are you saying you can't be monogamous? Or you don't want to be? You want me to set you free to sleep with other women?"

"No! That isn't what I want. I want _you_ , Bella. My… my head and my heart don't want other women."

"But your body does," I reply sadly, tears forming in my eyes again. "Why can't I be enough for you?"

"It's not that," he pleads. "In a lot of ways, it isn't even the women themselves; it's how they make me _feel_ — and not just physically. Sex is such an adrenaline rush. Sex with random women even more so. It's a… cheap thrill, a novelty."

I frown, not even caring if he sees my silent tears. How can I ever compete with that?

"For my entire life, I've disconnected sex from emotion. I'm used to having it whenever and wherever I want to. I know that you'd be hurt if I had sex with another woman, and I don't want to hurt you ever again. I just… have to keep reminding myself why I can't behave the way I've behaved for the last 20 years.

"I _want_ to change though. I do, Bella. I feel like… like you could be the only woman I need. I want to be the only man for you. I want to be what _you_ need. I just… don't know if I can," he says sadly.

"So where do we go from here?" I ask quietly, wiping my eyes.

"Tomorrow afternoon, I have my regular appointment with my therapist. I know I should have, but I never told him about Heidi. I'll tell him everything tomorrow though. I'm a fucking psychologist myself and I don't know what to tell myself to do," he chuckles humorlessly.

"You're too close to the situation."

"Maybe," he agrees. "I'm sorry. Please don't…" He stops, almost sounding choked up. "Please don't ask me to leave."

We gaze into each other's eyes and I see that vulnerable little boy who told me how he'd lost everyone who'd ever meant something to him. He's absolutely terrified of losing me because of this.

Slowly, I crawl over to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He lets out a shaky breath, hugging me tightly.

"Thank you," he whispers.

* * *

I'm good for nothing at work the next day, wondering what Edward's therapist is going to tell him. After we talked last night, I put my clothes back on and ordered us a pizza, then we spent the rest of the night cuddled up together on the couch watching Netflix. He spent the night but he didn't do more than hold on to me.

It's the strangest thing. While I was, and still am, upset that he's struggling with monogamy, he just seems so tortured at the idea that he could lose me because of it. He wants to do the right thing, but he's finding it much more difficult than he'd anticipated, and I can understand that. He says it's me he truly wants to be with, and I have to hold on to that.

A small part of me wants to tell him he can have his open relationship. I don't want to force him into something he can't do, or that is obviously hurting him, but at the same time, could I really handle that? I'm just not sure that I can.

I get a short text from Edward as he leaves his therapist's office, so I quickly text back to let him know I'll meet him at my apartment. I just can't imagine what Dr. Jenks told him.

I've just gotten changed out of my work clothes when Edward knocks on the door. When I open it, he just stands there nervously until I motion for him to come inside.

I lead him into the living room, sitting on the couch with my feet up and my arms wrapped around my legs. He sits beside me, holding out his hand for me, so I place mine in his.

He squeezes my hand, clearing his throat. "My therapist talked me off the ledge a bit," he begins. "He said I'm human, and it's perfectly natural for people in committed relationships to find themselves attracted to someone who's not their partner. He said the key is to do what I did, to remind myself why I can't act on my baser instincts, and to work through that excess sexual energy with my partner."

"You certainly did that," I chuckle dryly. Some part of me wonders if I should be upset that he had sex with me after getting turned on by another woman. But then again, it sure beats the alternative.

"What about why you were so tempted this time? What about your need for variety?" And then I get angry with myself for pushing him; he'll tell me at his own pace.

"Dr. Jenks thinks I'm wrong about why I've always been promiscuous. He thinks I'm fooling myself into thinking that it's all about the rush."

"So what is it about?" I ask, confused. Edward has told me from the first time I met him that he craves the variety, and I've had no reason not to believe him.

"He wants me to figure it out for myself," Edward says quietly. "It's part of my therapy for me to recognize my own motivations."

"OK, so… in the meantime…?"

"In the meantime, he suggested that I try to get the variety I think I need… with you."

My brow furrows at that statement. I actually kind of thought we _did_ have variety — at least we've had sex in many different places and positions. And there's the basket full of goodies I got him for Easter…

"How, Edward?" I finally ask.

"Like… roleplaying, reenacting scenarios where I've been tempted, or creating new ones. Anything to give me that adrenaline rush. We let our memberships lapse so we can't go to the club and let me pick you out of the crowd as if you're a stranger, but… you could hit on me in the fitness room," he grins.

I chuckle. "So I should go buy a few more Halloween costumes and get some wigs from Seth?"

"It might help if you look the part," he nods to what was mostly a joke on my part. "We just need to find a way for me to get what I need without resorting to sleeping with other women. I don't want to do that, Bella — really, I don't."

"But you want how it makes you feel," I reply quietly. "I understand."

"Are you really OK with this?" he asks, squeezing my hand.

"I want you, Edward. But… not if it's hurting you this much to try to be what _I_ need."

"I didn't expect it to be so difficult," he admits. "I should've recognized that long-term habitual behaviors can't just be turned off like flipping a switch, just because I want to change.

" _Please_ understand that I want you, Bella. I want this to work."

"So do I," I plead. "The last three months have been almost perfect."

Edward reaches out with his free hand, caressing my cheek. When he leans in slowly, I meet him in the middle for a soft kiss.

"You make me want to be better," he whispers. He leans in for another kiss, but my growling stomach makes him pull away, laughing.

"Guess you'd better feed me first."

* * *

 **A/N:** Yes, for once, more than just the song's _title_ was important, but also the lyrics. Edward is struggling with monogamy, but after talking to his therapist, he's feeling a little less overwhelmed. It couldn't have been as easy as it appeared, right?

How should Bella feel about all of this? And what kind of costumes should she get?

 **Next chapter's title:** A 1991 rap/hip-hop song that was actually a bigger hit overseas than in the US, where it only reached #13 on the Hot 100.


	36. Let's Talk About Sex

**Author Note:** Some of you are angry with Edward, but most praised him for his honesty. Many readers commented that it isn't unusual for someone to read sexy fic or watch porn before grabbing their partner.

Congrats to **0 BASIA 0** , **katbarpar** , **Capricorn75** , **LSU15** , **blueberry958** , **Scattycow** , **Azlady2003** , **TheGreenPanther** , **garddita17** , **MIRosebud** and **shaz308** for guessing Salt-N-Pepa's ode to "safe sex, the positive and negative sides of sex and the censorship that sex had around that time in American mainstream media."

 **Warning** : This chapter includes smut and talk about smut. If that bothers you, you should've stopped reading 30 chapters ago.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 35 – Let's Talk About Sex_

Edward and I double date with Jacob and Seth on Friday night, after Jacob manages to get four tickets to the Mariners game against the Minnesota Twins from one of his clients. Edward and Jake volunteer to get something to eat for the four of us, leaving me enough time to talk to Seth about getting some wigs — although I don't tell him _why_. He invites me to stop by his studio tomorrow morning.

After choosing a couple of wigs at Seth's, I stop by the only year-round Halloween store in King County and pick out a half dozen different costumes, from a sexy nurse to a sexy policewoman to a Catholic schoolgirl. I have no idea exactly what Edward would like — he just told me to surprise him when I asked.

Edward has given me a Guest badge and a key to his condo — I tried not to act like that was the huge deal I think it is — so I drive downtown and let myself in, then put on my workout attire and an auburn wig. It doesn't look as good as when Seth did it, but it'll do for our first roleplay. I only hope I can get through this without cracking up laughing.

Edward texts me once he's parked his car, which serves as my notice to head down to the fitness center. He'll come down as soon as he's had a chance to change. Luckily the place isn't very crowded, late on a Saturday afternoon. I hop on one of the stationary bikes while I wait for Edward to show up.

 _Goddamn._ It seems like every woman — and a couple of the men — turns their head when he walks into the room. I've never seen Edward in workout clothes before, and it's a sight to see. Besides a pair of baggy shorts, he's wearing a tank top that shows off his muscular shoulders and arms.

He heads straight for one of the weight machines and I watch hungrily at the way his muscles bulge and flex. He isn't even looking at me at all, though I wonder if it's part of the roleplay or because he actually doesn't recognize me with Julianne Moore's hair.

I hang out enjoying the view for about 10 minutes. During that time, at least half of the people in the room get up and leave. It's now or never, I suppose. Taking a deep breath, I hop down from the bike and cross the room.

"Hi there," I greet Edward as he gets up to change machines.

"Well, hello," he says, licking his lips as he looks me up and down. If I didn't know him, I'd be a puddle on the floor after that inspection. "I don't think I've seen you here before."

"No? Well, I've _definitely_ seen you," I reply, running my hand down his arm in what I hope is a flirty manner… while I try desperately not to start laughing. "And I like what I see."

"Maybe you could help me with one of the machines," he suggests, motioning for me to follow him. Now all I know about weight machines comes from watching Jake, but I figure that's more than most people.

I watch as Edward sits on one of the complicated-looking contraptions, grabbing hold of the handles and pulling forward a few times. "Exactly how am I supposed to be helping?" I ask with a grin.

"You're providing the view," he winks, making me laugh. "If we were alone, I'd have you right here in my lap," he adds seductively. _Shit._

"There are probably security cameras anyway," I retort, looking up at the corners along the ceiling.

"Probably," he agrees. "So maybe we should go somewhere a little more private…?"

"And where might that be?" I ask, placing my hands on his bare knees once he's stopped moving.

"My place?" He raises an eyebrow and I let a slow smile spread across my face. I wish we could go somewhere else, but every public area in this building likely has security cameras.

In a flash, Edward is on his feet, taking me by the hand and leading me toward the door. He presses the UP arrow for the elevator, the presses me into the wall beside it, attacking my lips with a hard kiss.

We're both panting before we hear the ding of the elevator arriving. Another couple is already inside, so after he hits the button for the 11th floor, we control ourselves — barely.

We race each other to his door, but he manages to pull his key out first. The door is hardly shut behind us when he presses on my shoulders so I drop to my knees.

"Suck my cock!" he orders and I pull frantically at the fabric of his pants to free his hard cock. With little prelude I engulf it with my mouth as far as I can go, sucking hard as I pull back to the head. I glance up at his face, stunned by the look of unbridled lust I see there.

Stroking the base of his cock with my hand, I suck hard, swirling my tongue all around until I taste his precum.

"Fuck…" he moans. "Stop! I want to come inside you."

I pull off with a pop, pulling his pants down the rest of the way before getting to my feet.

"Get naked," he orders as he tugs his shirt over his head. I quickly remove my shorts and then my spandex top, leaving me in just my sports bra and thong panties. "Those too."

Once I'm completely naked, Edward takes my arm and hurries me into the living room. He bends me forward over the arm of the couch, then steps in right behind me, bringing his hands up to hold my breasts. He pulls and tugs at my nipples, rougher than he usually does, but I can feel myself getting wetter for him. His hard cock is pressed up against me and I want it.

"Do you want to be fucked?" he asks, slapping my ass when I don't answer quickly enough.

"Yes! Yes, please fuck me," I beg.

"Spread your legs."

I do as he says, whimpering when he slides his fingers along my pussy. "So wet," he groans as he twists two fingers inside me. "You are a dirty girl, letting some man you've just met fuck you like this."

"I just know what I want," I manage to choke out as he replaces his fingers with his cock. He stops once he's buried inside me — whether he's giving me time to adjust or making sure he doesn't come on the spot, I'm not sure.

Once he starts moving, literally nothing else matters but the feel of his cock inside me and his hands all over me. It's hard and fast and so, so good.

I can feel myself climbing higher and higher, but then suddenly he pulls out, slapping my ass again. "Turn over."

My legs are shaky but I manage to flip myself over, with my head on the seat cushions and most of my lower half hanging off the arm of the couch. Kneeling down, Edward throws my legs over his shoulders, puts his mouth over me, and proceeds to make me see stars in record time.

When he's finished, he stands up, leaving my right leg on his shoulder. Grinning at me, he brushes his cock between my legs. "Do you want it?" he asks, eyes sparkling.

I think about teasing him and saying that I already got mine, but I'm a shameless hussy for his cock, and he knows it.

"Please," I beg, holding my breath as he slips back inside. Wrapping his hands around my waist, he keeps eye contact with me as he thrusts over and over again. I moan and whimper, glad that I don't have to keep quiet.

"Play with your tits," he orders, and I don't hesitate in bringing my hands up, squeezing my breasts. "Fuck yeah… now touch yourself."

Slowly, I slide my right hand down my stomach, then circle my clit with my middle finger. "Oh fuck, that is so hot," Edward breathes. The combined sensations have me shaking from the force of my second orgasm in very little time.

"Fuck!" he grunts, freezing inside me.

I'm still breathing heavily when Edward grabs hold of my hands, pulling me to a seated position. He tenderly grasps my face in his hands, then kisses me over and over before leaning his forehead against mine.

"Did you enjoy that?" I ask, and he pulls back slightly, laughing incredulously.

"I think how hard I came should be a pretty good indicator," he chuckles. "I like the wig; nice touch."

"Seth gave me the blonde one I wore on Halloween, too."

"Thank Seth for me," he says, helping me to my feet. "And thank _you_ , Bella," he adds, kissing me softly. "I know this can't be easy for you, but I appreciate more than you know that you're willing to work toward some sort of compromise that we can both live with."

"I care about you, Edward. We will never work unless we're both happy."

He smiles, pecking my lips one more time. "Time to shower and get dressed; I'm starving."

I manage to put him off from any hanky-panky in the shower, promising he can have his way with me later tonight. We decide to just walk down the street to the gastropub for dinner.

"So did you get costumes, too?" Edward asks as he sips his beer.

"Yep," I smile. "For obvious reasons, I skipped the French maid one."

He laughs, grinning at me. "So what did you get?"

"It's a surprise," I reply, shaking my head.

"Oh, come on! You've gotta give me at least one."

I purse my lips, finally nodding. "Well, I figured I had to go for the obvious Catholic schoolgirl."

"Mmm… yeah," he says dreamily. "They were a lot of fun when I was in high school. Afraid of doing anything that could cause pregnancy, but totally willing to do _anything_ else."

"You mean blowjobs?"

"Of course, but there are other kinds of sex."

He raises an eyebrow as if daring me to understand. I stare back at him, and my eyes widen when I think I've caught on. "You mean…" I pause, looking around to see how many people might be within hearing distance, "Anal sex," I finally whisper.

"Yes, Bella," he chuckles.

"You-you've done that?"

"Of course," he shrugs, like it's no big deal. "I've also shared a woman."

"Sh-shared?" I swallow thickly, understanding his meaning even if I'd like to pretend that I don't.

"Mmmm… every man should experience that once in his lifetime."

"That's what you said about getting a blowjob from two women," I remind him of when Tanya and I double teamed him for his birthday last year.

"Well, that too," he winks. "Honestly, there's pretty much nothing I haven't done, beyond having sex with other guys. And I've even sort of done that."

My eyes nearly bug out of my head. "What do you mean by 'sort of'?" I choke out. I was imagining that he'd potentially touched another man, similar to the way I touched Tanya's boobs and let her touch my own. But I don't think I'd go as far as to call that "sort of" having sex.

"I was super drunk one night in college and let a guy who said he had a crush on me give me a BJ. And no, I didn't return the favor," he grins while I just stare. "I was too drunk to remember it well, but from what I do remember, it honestly wasn't any different from a woman doing it."

"I-I said the same about Tanya touching my boobs."

Edward smiles, cocking his head as he stares back at me. "I even let Tanya peg me a couple times. She'd done it before with women, so I figured, why not," he shrugs.

"D-did you like it?" I whisper once I can finally speak. He's so nonchalant about these things! And it's a less than gentle reminder that he's still separating sexual acts from any kind of emotional involvement.

"I could see the appeal, yeah," he shrugs, taking another sip of his beer.

"Edward?" I ask hesitantly, waiting until he looks up at me to continue. "How many women have you had sex with?" When he just stares at me, I suggest, "A hundred?"

"In 20 years?" he replies, raising an eyebrow. Right… that would only be an average of five per year.

"A thousand?"

Wrinkling his nose, he pulls at his hair. "I don't know, Bella," he finally says. "There were fewer when I was a teenager and once Tanya and I made our arrangement, more in between. It's not like I counted them. Like I said once, I rarely brought women home so I couldn't exactly make notches on my bedpost."

I frown, staring down at the table.

"It doesn't matter, Bella," he says softly, taking my hand in his and squeezing. "None of them meant _anything_ to me. Only you."

I can't help smiling back at him, even if I'm still freaking out a bit internally. Though he's still a work in progress, he really has changed from the man who wouldn't give me anything of himself except his body.

* * *

Two weeks later, the Seattle Actuarial Club holds its annual golf tournament. As I drive to the golf course, I realize that it's been nearly nine months since I've seen Tanya. There were no luncheons during the busy holiday season, and I ended up skipping the one held in early January, when I was in my Edward-less funk. I did attend the luncheon shortly after Easter, but if Tanya was there, I didn't see her.

Just as I did last year, I show up in time for the happy hour after the tournament, though I appear to be a bit early, since most of the foursomes are still on the course. I grab a Diet Coke and some appetizers and take a seat.

"Hey, Bella," a female voice says, and I look up at Tanya's smiling face. "May I sit?"

"Sure," I smile, pulling the chair to my right out for her, since her hands are full.

"I haven't seen you in ages!" she says. "I was out of town on business for the last two luncheons." I smile and nod, not acknowledging that I missed one of them myself.

"Sounds like you've been busy."

"Mmm, I have," she says, reaching her left hand out for her glass of water. And that's when I see it — the humongous diamond ring on her left ring finger.

"Oh my God!" I exclaim. "Are you engaged?"

"Yes," she answers, grinning widely as she holds out her hand so I can take a closer look at the ring. It's a marquis cut diamond and must be at least three carats. "Garrett popped the question a few weeks ago. We've set the date for next May."

"Congratulations!"

"Thank you! I'm so excited. I'll be married before I'm 40, after all."

I laugh and she joins in. "Seriously, I'm really happy for you."

"I'm almost afraid to ask… has Edward gotten his head out of his ass yet?" Tanya asks.

"Actually… yes, he has. He started seeing a therapist back in February. He's trying to work on his issues with making an emotional connection."

"That's wonderful!" she exclaims. "I spoke to him just after the New Year and he seemed to really be struggling. Does this mean you're in a 'real' relationship?"

"It does," I reply, surprised to learn that Edward had spoken to Tanya while we were apart. "He's stopped seeing other women, though I won't say it's been easy for him to change his long-term habits."

"No, I imagine not," she answers with a grimace.

"Wh-what about you?" I ask nosily, remembering that Edward once said that Tanya craves variety more than he does.

"Is it tough for me to be monogamous?" I nod. "No, it's really not. I love Garrett and he gives me everything I need. I love sex too, don't get me wrong, but sharing that with someone you love is so much better than sex without emotion. Edward will see that too one day — you just have to believe in that."

I give her a small smile, nodding. I can only hope that Tanya is right.

* * *

 **A/N:** So their first roleplay went well. Safe to say Bella enjoyed it too, even if she was worried about laughing. Several readers told me they'd do the same.

A little bit of Edward's sexual history there. It really was just a physical thing to him, with no emotional involvement at all. Did anything he say surprise you?

Tanya is engaged! How about that? And now Bella knows about her conversation with Edward that we saw in his POV.

 **Next chapter's title:** A huge #1 smash party song from the beginning of the decade (1980s).


	37. Celebration

**Author Note:** I think you guys mostly liked the roleplaying in the last chapter...?

Congrats to **0 BASIA 0** , **TheGreenPanther** , **MIRosebud** , and **the real teacher** for guessing Kool  & The Gang's biggest hit from 1980-81. I eventually edited my hint when I realized it wasn't clear that I meant 80s for the "decade." I was in a hurry Tuesday morning!

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 36 – Celebration_

With Edward's birthday coming up, I wrack my brain trying to figure out what to plan for it. I obviously can't top last year's birthday, when he got to live out his fantasy with two women. We need to do something completely different.

His actual birthday, June 20, is on a Monday this year. I plan to take that day off work, and I convince him to schedule his appointments on the preceding Saturday as early as possible, so that we can go away together for a long weekend. I've booked us two nights at the Sol Duc Hot Springs Resort in Olympic National Park to spend a little time just for us.

I've left where we're going as a surprise to Edward, which means I'm driving — he'll just have to deal. I pick him up at his condo downtown and we head for the Bainbridge Island ferry.

"So are we going to Forks again?" he asks as we stand on the deck, watching the Seattle skyline get farther and farther away.

"Nope. You'll find out when we get there."

"I don't like surprises," he grumbles.

"Tough," I reply, giggling at his grumpiness.

Once we're on the 101, we continue past Port Angeles and Lake Crescent to our turn-off on the left. A few minutes later, we've reached the resort and I leave Edward to stretch his legs while I check us in. We're staying in a cute, one-room cabin with a king-sized bed — total privacy since we're not connected to anyone else.

"Looks just like a regular hotel room," Edward chuckles as he carries our bags inside.

"What did you expect?"

"From the outside, I thought it'd be more rustic. Especially given the fact that you're apparently an expert on camping." He sets the bags down then checks out the bathroom.

When he comes back out, he winds his arms around me, leaning down for a kiss. "So what's the plan?"

"The plan is to get dinner and then soak in one of the mineral hot springs pools. They're open until nine."

"Let's get to it then," he smiles.

Hand in hand, we walk up to the Springs Restaurant, where we enjoy a delicious dinner of Northwest cuisine. I convince Edward to get the Marionberry cobbler for dessert, so I can try it along with the salted caramel cheesecake that I order.

After dinner, we change into our swimsuits and make our way back to the main lodge, with a large freshwater pool and the three mineral hot springs pools. All three are varying temperatures and I feel a bit like Goldilocks as I decide which I prefer. Edward just rolls his eyes, settling in beside me once I've finally chosen the three-foot-deep medium pool, which happens to be the hottest.

"Feels like a hot tub, except without bubbles," he grins salaciously.

"Also not alone out here," I remind him.

"Mmm… see that guy over there in the smaller pool? He keeps looking over at you, like he wouldn't mind seeing you naked."

"I thought you got jealous now?" I ask, side-eyeing him.

"Oh, believe me, I'd probably punch him if he tried to touch you, but I have to admit that I like the idea of making _him_ jealous that I've got you and he doesn't."

"Men!" I shake my head, splashing water on him.

"Oh, come on! You weren't making a statement in front of Ms. French Maid last Halloween?"

I feel my face burning, because of course he's absolutely correct.

Edward laughs at me, then sobers, pulling my legs over his lap. "I like that you're jealous," he says quietly, caressing my cheek. "I'm not sure I've ever been with someone who's cared enough to be jealous."

"I'd bet that you have," I disagree. "You just didn't know it."

Giving me a small smile, he leans in for a soft kiss before hugging me to his bare chest. We stay like that until we're about to turn into prunes, then get out of the water and towel off.

"My skin feels so soft," I comment as we walk back to our cabin; the mineral water is good for the skin. "It kinda smells though, so I'm gonna take a quick shower."

"I'll join you," he declares, and I roll my eyes. It's only a standard tub/shower combination, so not really enough room for anything fun.

In the end, I let Edward rinse off first, then take my own shower. When I come out of the bathroom in the slip he picked out at Victoria's Secret, I find him sprawled on top of the bed.

"Is there seriously no TV in this room?" he asks, his eyes looking me up and down.

"No," I chuckle. "Also no radio, telephone or internet. We're supposed to be relaxing away from modern-day distractions."

"Whatever will we do with our time then?" he asks seductively, tugging on my arm until I practically fall on top of him.

"I'm… sure you'll think of something," I mumble as he begins sucking on my neck.

* * *

After breakfast, we set off to hike the six-mile Lover's Lane Loop trail, which crosses by the famous Sol Duc Falls. We then stop by the resort's restaurant to pick up a couple of wraps to take with us as a picnic lunch to Lake Crescent, where we rent a kayak and I learn that Edward knows next to nothing about the outdoors. I have to try really hard not to laugh at him several times. I suppose I should've realized that he's a city boy, and that he didn't have a normal childhood.

After returning to our resort, I suggest to Edward that we relax in the mineral pools again, but in reality, I booked us both poolside massages. He's initially super excited when I tell him the truth, until he learns that I booked him with a male masseuse. Sue me, I'm not giving him any reason to be tempted.

After our 60-minute massages, we again relax in the mineral pools. This time I choose the largest pool, with a fountain in the middle, which is only three degrees cooler than the one we were in last night.

"Are you enjoying your birthday?" I ask timidly. I got a little worried after the kayak thing.

"It's not my birthday yet," he grins.

"This whole weekend is to celebrate you," I argue. "I know I've chosen what we've done up to this point, but from now until we get back to Seattle, it's your choice."

He raises an eyebrow. "Does that include choosing my own dessert tonight?"

"It does," I agree with a smile.

Eventually we have to leave the warm mineral water. We both shower quickly then get dressed for dinner at the Springs Restaurant. Since Edward didn't know where we were going for the weekend, he packed some nicer outfits. As I brought one nice dress, I talk him into wearing a green striped tie with his button-down shirt, and then spend dinner drooling over how good he looks.

I keep my promise about the dessert, but still make sure to try his.

When we get back to our cabin, I seriously want to jump Edward, but I promised he could be in charge tonight, so I need to let him make the first move.

"So I can have _anything_ I want?" he asks. I remember our conversation from a few weeks ago, covering all of the things he's done sexually, and I start to get a bit worried about giving him carte blanche. But he wouldn't ask for anything _too_ outrageous, would he? I mean, he doesn't have any lube.

"Bella," he says, likely noticing the way my heart is pounding madly. "My therapist likes to remind me that I'm half of a couple now, and obviously your needs matter as much as my own. I wouldn't suggest anything I don't think you're ready for. I personally think you shouldn't knock anything without trying it first, but don't ever agree just for me — OK?"

"OK," I promise, stepping closer and winding my arms around his neck.

He places two soft kisses on my lips, then gives me his most seductive smile. "Undress me."

I remove my arms from around his neck, then slowly loosen his tie. I slide it off of his neck, tossing it toward the couch, then begin deliberately unbuttoning his shirt. I tug his shirt out of his pants, but before I can push it off his shoulders, he places his hands on my wrists, shaking his head.

"Now take your own clothes off." He takes a seat on the couch, leaning back and crossing his arms behind his head.

My dress is a wrap style, with a tie on the side, so I untie it, letting it fall open, then stare into Edward's eyes as I take it off. I toss it onto the couch next to him, smiling at the hungry look on his face. I'm wearing the bright pink lace push-up bra that I bought on my first visit to Victoria's Secret with Edward, along with a pair of lacy panties that he picked out. They coordinate, if not match exactly.

I reach behind my back to unhook my bra, then slowly pull the straps down my arms. Tossing my bra at Edward, I cup my breasts in my hands.

"Very nice," he comments in a raspy voice.

Taking hold of both sides of my panties, I shimmy my hips as I pull them down, again tossing them at Edward, who grins at me as he catches them. I stand there biting my lip as I wait for my next instructions.

"Come give me a lap dance," he suggests, and I take a few steps forward, swaying my hips as I straddle his lap, being careful not to touch him. He brings his hands up to my breasts, holding their weight in his hands, then leans forward and places a soft kiss on each nipple. I place my hands on his shoulders, eagerly opening for him when he claims my lips in a hungry kiss.

We kiss and kiss and kiss until I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. If I had to do one thing for the rest of eternity, I think it would be kissing Edward. Well, that and having sex with Edward.

"Get on the bed," he mumbles against my lips. I'm not even sure I can stand!

I slowly get to my feet, my brow furrowing at his smirk. "I've made a mess of your hair," he explains. "You already look freshly fucked and I still have my pants on."

"Proud of yourself, aren't you?" I tease, grasping the sheets and pulling them down. I lie down in the center of the mattress, staring at the bulge in his pants as he stands at the foot of the bed.

"Bella," he says in a sensual voice, "Can I tie you up?"

My eyes widen at that request. "With what?" He pulls one hand out from behind his back, showing me his tie. "I-I guess," I answer tentatively. I don't know what I'm nervous about; I know he won't hurt me.

Smiling, Edward crawls over my prone body, pulling both of my arms up above my head. I can feel him wrapping his tie around both of my wrists, but I can't see what else he's doing.

"Now try to pull your wrists," he says as he sits back. I give a good tug, but the bindings are tight. The headboard has wooden slats, so he must've tied it around them.

"Perfect," he smiles, climbing off the bed and heading toward the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask in alarm.

"I'll be right back."

I huff as he closes the door behind him. Seriously, the bastard is leaving me tied up naked on the bed? I think he grabbed something just before he walked out, but I couldn't see what it was. He can't possibly be going far; I mean, his shirt is open and his dick is hard.

It is just a minute or two until Edward returns. As he walks toward the bed, he's holding something in his right hand behind his back. He kneels on the bed, moving forward until he's straddling my legs, then sets our room's ice bucket beside him.

"Wh-what are you going to do with that?"

Instead of answering me, he takes out one ice cube, and my eyes widen as he brings it closer and closer to my chest.

"Oh!" I yelp as he begins circling my left nipple with the ice.

"Shhh… Just feel, Bella."

The ice quickly starts to melt, dripping down the side of my breast. My nipple is almost painfully hard, and I start breathing heavily. Just when I think I can't take much more, he switches to my right nipple.

Once the ice is nearly melted, he begins tracing patterns along the skin of my torso. Finally he gives it up for a fresh piece, causing goosebumps all over my body as he circles my navel.

Looking up, he gives me an especially evil grin, scooting back and then spreading my legs.

"Oh no!" I yell pre-emptively, trying to close my legs. He quickly moves to kneel between them, so I'm stuck.

"Oh yes, Bella," he says, touching the ice cube to my clit. I nearly buck off the bed. Edward lays his left forearm over my pelvis to hold me still as he begins circling with the ice.

"Fuck, that's cold!"

"Should I warm it up?" he grins. Before I can ask what he means by that, he slides the ice cube down, the slowly pushes it inside me. Once it's all the way in, he fucking leaves it there, then grabs another piece, bringing it straight back to my clit.

"Oh God!" I yelp when he bends forward and licks along the length of my slit. The contrast between the cold ice and his warm tongue has me pulling at my restraints. I can feel the melting water dripping out of me and I know we're going to have such a wet spot on the bed from this.

His mouth covers me with kisses, sucking gently and licking… almost the same as the way he kisses my lips. I whimper loudly when he slides the remains of the ice cube inside me, sucking hard until I'm a shaking, panting mess.

"Did you like that, Bella?" he asks, sitting back. I hope that was a rhetorical question. "Answer me," he says sharply, slapping the side of my ass.

"Yes! It was kinda evil, but…"

Edward grins widely, then finally strips off his shirt, tossing it to the side. Standing, he does a bit of a striptease for me as he opens his pants, then slides them down. I lick my lips at the outline of his hard cock visible through his boxer briefs.

"You can taste it later," he winks, pulling his underwear down. Lying on the bed beside me, he gently turns me onto my right side, then lifts my left leg.

I moan loudly as he pushes inside from behind. "Fuck, that _is_ cold," he chuckles. He turns my face toward his then begins kissing me as his hand slides down to my breasts. His thrusts are slow and deep, matched by the actions of his tongue, while he squeezes my breast.

He's in no hurry, and I lose track of how many times he makes me come before he freezes inside me, crying my name in a strangled voice.

I'm like a pile of jelly lying on the bed as he gently unties me from the headboard, rolling me to face him. It's Edward's birthday and I'm the one who's benefited — how is _that_ fair?

As he massages my wrists, I look up into his beautiful green eyes, and I see what looks like love gazing back at me. Reflecting back at me. Reflecting my own feelings. And I can't hold it in anymore.

"I love you, Edward."

* * *

 **A/N:** Bella finally said the L-word! Now how will Edward react?

The Sol Duc Hot Springs Resort is a real place, though I've never been there, or even to Olympic National Park. Poor city boy Edward trying to keep up with the girl who grew up on the edge of the forest. And having to deal with a _man_ giving him his birthday massage, haha!

Moosals thought the image of Edward leaning back on the couch with his arms crossed behind his head was from _Cosmopolis_ , but it's actually from the Details magazine photoshoot. Either way, it's a hot image.

 **Next chapter's title:** A Top 5 power ballad from 1988, by a band on the second of their three lead singers.

Since I'll be in training for much of next week, the next update will be **Monday**.


	38. When It's Love

**Author Note:** We've crossed 4,000 reviews now, so thanks to all of you — except a couple, you know who you are — for your feedback!

Congrats to **LSU15, liatb01** , **RaeofSunshine85** , **GrandeDame** , **sherylb** , **2muchtrouble** , **miracle36** , **lemonangeljuice** , **0 BASIA 0** , **Mickey** , **NotoriousMissT1** , **jaymiealexis** , **Ninkita** and **tawelephant** for guessing this chapter's title by Van Halen, from the Sammy Hagar era.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 37 – When It's Love_

As soon as I utter the fateful words, I wonder if I've made a huge mistake. Edward just stares back at me for the longest time before opening and closing his mouth.

I slowly reach out, stroking his cheek. "It's OK, Edward. Don't panic. I don't need you to say it back, I just… I need you to know that you're loved."

"You love me?" he whispers.

"Yes," I smile.

He sits up, bringing his knees up and resting his folded arms on them as he stares at me. "How do you know?" he asks.

"That I'm in love with you?" He nods and I sit up as well, wrapping the sheet around myself. "Because I can't stop thinking about you. You're always on my mind, from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. When I'm not with you, I miss you so much, and I'm thinking about the next time I'll see you. I can hardly remember what my life was like before I met you."

I pause, reaching out to brush my fingers through his hair. "It's through you that I've learned so much about myself. I've come to know and accept that I'm a little bit… kinky. Because of you, I'm more self-aware, more _alive_ , and I'm not ashamed of having tastes that are a bit outside the norm. You've made me see that that's OK.

"Most of all, I want to see you succeed in therapy and become whole again — even," I pause, swallowing thickly, "Even if it's not _me_ that you fall in love with. I just want to see you happy and healthy, no matter what. And that's how I know," I finish, gazing back into his brilliant green eyes.

He gives me a small smile. "I think about you all the time, too," he whispers.

"Me, or getting me naked?" I ask cynically.

"Both," he admits. "Even with the few struggles, the past four months have been the happiest of my life. I-I'm sorry that's all I can give you right now."

"It's enough," I assure him. I can't deny that I'm a little bit disappointed, but I never really expected him to be able to say it back.

I lean in for a soft kiss, then get up so that I can get ready for bed. When I'm finished, I find Edward sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into space. I walk over to him and he looks up at me, blinking.

"Are you all right?" I whisper, worried that maybe he's freaking out and I shouldn't have confessed my feelings. I've never told a man that I love him before — how do you know when it's the right time?

"More than all right," he promises. Standing, he kisses me quickly, then walks off to the bathroom. When he gets back into bed beside me, I curl up in his arms, more in love with him than before.

* * *

When I wake up, I'm completely surrounded by Edward, whose arms are wrapped around me from behind. He never did put his underwear back on last night — not that he usually does — and I can feel his morning wood against my backside.

Now that it's actually his birthday, I should wake him up in style.

Turning over carefully so as not to disturb him, I lift his arm and he rolls onto his back. I freeze for a moment, but his slow, even breathing indicates that he's still asleep. I pull the sheets down until his cock is revealed, then scoot down a bit.

I cautiously grasp the base of his cock then lick up to the tip. He doesn't stir. I take another few licks, as if it's my favorite flavor of ice cream cone, then wrap my mouth around the head. As I slide as much of his cock into my mouth as I can, I think I detect a change in his breathing. I suck hard on my way back to the tip, then swirl my tongue all around.

At some point, Edward reaches out to gently grasp the back of my head. I peek up at him and his eyes are still closed, so I go back to my task, licking and swirling.

"Bella," he rasps, "Let me fuck your mouth."

I know he won't go too far, and it _is_ his birthday, so I continue on with what I've been doing. I can feel his hand tighten on the back of my head as he slowly begins thrusting up into my mouth.

"Fuck, I'm so close," he groans, thrusting a bit harder. I try to remember what Jake once said and relax my throat, allowing him to slide in deeper. I know he's going to come soon, and I know he wants me to swallow. For his birthday, I'll take him at his word that I just need to swallow quickly and the taste won't be so bad.

"Bella… Bella… oh fuck…"

I can't do anything but hold my breath until he seems to be finished, then swallow. He drops his hand, flopping back onto the bed, and I slowly suck my way up to the tip of his cock.

"Fuck, that was amazing," he pants. "Best morning wake-up ever."

I swallow again, grimacing at the remaining taste on my tongue. Nope, I still don't know how Tanya can stand it.

"It's not _that_ bad, is it?" he asks, likely noticing my expression.

"You wouldn't know, would you?"

Laughing, he tosses his pillow at me, then gets up, heading toward the bathroom.

"Happy birthday!" I call after him.

* * *

Once we've had breakfast and are both ready to go, we load our bags into the trunk and check out. On our way back to Seattle, we stop at a few other places accessible from the northern edge of Olympic National Park, like Hurricane Ridge and the main visitor center. I'd love to one day show Edward the Hoh rain forest and Lake Quinault on the southwestern side of the park, but that will have to be another trip.

It's late afternoon when we arrive back in downtown Seattle. I park near Edward's building, and after we've taken his bag up to his condo and changed into nicer clothes, we walk to a nearby steakhouse for dinner. It's definitely on the pricey side, so we've only been there once before, but it's his birthday, so… anything he desires. I try not to think about last year's birthday dinner with Tanya, at a different steakhouse.

My dinner is delicious, and I plan to skip dessert, but they have Bailey's bread pudding! How can a girl resist?

After dinner, we go for a walk along the waterfront, Edward's arm around me the entire time. He periodically leans down for soft kisses, perhaps the most openly affectionate he's been in public… besides the club, of course.

I was a bit worried that things would be awkward between us, after last night's confession, but he seems to be acting normally. Despite my brief moment of disappointment, I honestly never expected him to tell me he loves me too. I mean, I hope he's on the way to loving me, but I understand if he's not there yet. His behavior says he may already be there, but perhaps he just hasn't realized it. It's not like he knows what it feels like to love or _be_ loved.

Either way, I'm cool with the status quo — for now.

* * *

"You need to change," Edward says, walking into my apartment on the Fourth of July.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" I look down at my blue tank with white stars and my white shorts with a red belt. I am perfectly coordinated for the holiday.

"You need to be wearing a skirt."

"Dare I ask why?" I raise an eyebrow.

"You're a smart girl, Bella," he winks.

Huffing, I turn around and head back to my bedroom. So he's planning something sexual and needs easy access, I get it. I choose my khaki miniskirt, then head back toward the living room, finding him sitting on the couch.

"Does this meet with your approval, Sir?" I ask, making him smile. He motions for me to step closer, then slides his hand up my thigh underneath my skirt.

"Lose the underwear." _Oh hell._ He really is planning something. When I don't move fast enough, he reaches under my skirt with both hands and pulls down my panties himself.

"Now you're ready," he grins up at me.

We spend the day together at the Woodland Park Zoo, and I have to admit, it's a different experience to spend the entire day without underwear. I also keep wondering when exactly he's going to make his move. After hours of this, I'm pretty much on edge.

Because you just _have_ to eat a burger on this all-American holiday, we head to a gourmet burger place for dinner after the zoo closes. I've eaten here before, but I've always tried to be healthy and not actually get a _burger_. Today, however, I'm splurging on their signature burger called The Rockstar.

"Did you do anything fun last year for the Fourth of July?" I ask Edward while we wait for our food.

"Tanya's company had some sort of picnic that I attended with her. I guess that was my last appearance as her boyfriend," he snorts.

"Have-have you talked to her lately?" I ask hesitantly.

"Not lately," he answers. "Not since January, I guess. Why?"

"I saw her a couple weeks ago at the SAC golf tournament. She and Garrett are engaged; they've set a date for next May."

His eyes widen before he smiles. "Good for her, if she's happy."

"She seems really happy. And… she was also happy to hear you're in therapy, happy to hear that we're together. I-I hope it's OK that I told her."

"She wanted that," he says softly. "For us to get together. I guess she could see things that I was too blind to see. Or didn't want to see. Which one of us is the shrink again?"

He rolls his eyes and I reach out to squeeze his hand. "I've told you before that you're too close to the situation. Tanya could watch you with me as an impartial observer."

"I suppose." He pauses, taking a sip of his shake. "You're not upset that I talked to her, are you? I know I probably should've mentioned it before."

"No," I tell him honestly. "I know that Tanya isn't a threat to our relationship."

"She's really not. We were friends who were sexually compatible. And we got along well enough until… well, until there was too much proximity and all of her little habits started to grate on me," he grins.

"And I'm sure you have no annoying habits yourself," I tease him.

"I know I'm not perfect, Bella," he replies, shaking his head. "No one is."

When our number is called, Edward motions for me to stay seated, then goes up to get our food. "Now _this_ is something I never would've done with Tanya," he says as he sets my basket in front of me. "She'd never set foot in this place."

"They have a black bean burger," I laugh as he retakes his seat. "And salads."

"Doesn't matter. She's always been concerned about appearances — her own physical appearance and how others perceive her. She'd consider this place beneath her. But you don't. You're real. And you're honest."

I smile at the compliment. "I care about my appearance too, you know," I tell him as I cut my burger in half. "Which means you're gonna have to help me work off all of the calories in this thing."

"With pleasure," he grins.

* * *

After dinner, we travel to a large park where there will be live music up until it's time for fireworks later. Edward parks his car, then comes around to the back to get a folded blanket out of the trunk. We find a spot on the grass and he spreads out the blanket, then sits down, motioning for me to join him.

I carefully sit — since I'm not wearing panties! — between Edward's stretched-out legs, and he wraps his arms around me from behind, kissing the side of my neck as we listen to the music. Perfectly content, I relax into his strong chest as his fingers trace mindless patterns on my arms and my thighs. He's always touching me in some way.

Once it's finally dark enough for the fireworks to begin, Edward reaches for the far end of blanket in front of me, pulling it back to cover my bare legs. It's getting chilly now that the sun has gone down, so I thank him for his thoughtfulness.

Just a minute later, I realize his ulterior motive when his right hand slides under the blanket and then under my skirt, brushing along my inner thigh.

"Edward," I warn quietly, shivering when he sucks on my earlobe.

"No one will know," he promises.

His fingers touch between my legs, softly teasing. Resting my head on his shoulder, I spread my legs as much as my skirt allows, to give him better access. I whimper softly when he slides two fingers inside me. He knows my body so well by this point, knows exactly how to touch me.

I try to concentrate on watching the fireworks, but his gentle touches keep taking me higher and higher. I grab onto his left arm, anchoring myself to the Earth as I get closer to my climax. He's still soft and deliberate though, not giving me quite enough.

When the fireworks reach their grand finale, Edward speeds up his movements as he sucks on my neck.

"You're about to get off surrounded by thousands of people, Bella," he whispers in my ear.

"Oh God," I whimper softly.

"You like that, don't you? 'Cause you're my kinky, dirty girl. I love that about you." His fingers speed up even more and as I come, I see stars — literally, as the brilliantly colored fireworks explode in the sky.

As the last boom fades away, Edward pulls his fingers out from under my skirt. I try to slow my breathing, still in a bit of a daze as the couples around us begin packing up to leave.

He kisses the top of my head, and I lean back so that I can look up at his face. Smiling, he bends forward and places an upside down kiss on my lips.

"Can you stand?" he asks. At my nod, he gets up, then helps me to my feet. Together we fold up the blanket and he takes my hand in his as we start walking back to the car.

"You'd been planning that all day, hadn't you?"

"Yes," he chuckles. "And believe me, if I'd thought there was a way I could fuck you undetected, I would have tried it."

"I don't doubt that," I reply, shaking my head.

As we drive home, Edward's words from just before he made me come finally start to register in my brain. He said, "I love that about you." The words just seemed to come out, as if he wasn't really thinking about what he was saying. It's not quite returning my feelings, but it's perhaps the first time I've ever heard him say that he loves _anything_.

It's only been two weeks since his birthday, so I can't get too impatient with him, but I'm going to take tonight's declaration as a very good start.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, Edward didn't freak out, but he didn't say it back, not that anyone really thought he would. What did you think of Bella's explanation of why she knows it's love?

Some progress from Edward over the next two weeks, as he seems to be getting more comfortable with his relationship. And of course he had to give Bella a Fourth of July she'd never forget.

Bella and Edward eat at a place called the Tipsy Cow Burger Bar. I've never been there, but I saw it on Googlemaps and it sounded good! You can Google them to see Bella's Rockstar burger since I'm not fighting with FF over the link.

 **Next chapter's title:** Two separate mid-80s hits have the same title, one by an all-girl group.

I'll be staying at a hotel while I'm in training from Monday evening through Thursday evening, so only able to get online via my phone. There will likely be a delay in review replies, but I'll try my best.


	39. Head Over Heels

**Author Note:** On the homestretch now…

Congrats to **jaspee** , **NotoriousMissT1** , **tawelephant** , **sherylb** , **Scattycow** , **MIRosebud** , **TheGreenPanther** and **Romana973** for guessing this chapter's title by the Go-Go's or Tears for Fears. _Jump_ by Van Halen or the Pointer Sisters was the popular incorrect guess.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 38 – Head Over Heels_

On a Friday night in August, Jake and Seth invite Edward and me to join them for dinner at their apartment. When we arrive, I quickly realize that they've invited several other people as well, both gay and straight.

I introduce Edward to those I know, and most of the ones I don't make it a point to introduce themselves, clearly eyeing my boyfriend. I keep my arm around him possessively, even though I know he's not interested in men.

After getting drinks for all of their guests, Jake and Seth stand at the head of the table, tapping on their glasses to get our attention.

"Thanks to all of you for coming," Jake says, looking around at the table. "As you might have guessed, this isn't just a normal dinner.

"You're all here because you're friends with me or Seth, or both, and because you've been supportive of us and our relationship." He pauses, turning to smile at his boyfriend. "I am thrilled to announce that after giving me the best 18 months of my life, Seth has agreed to become my husband."

The room erupts in applause and congratulations and I nearly melt when Jake kisses his new fiancé in front of everyone. Just a few years ago, it wouldn't have been possible for them to make their relationship official, and I'm so happy for them that the country is changing to become more accepting.

"When's the big day?" someone asks.

"New Year's Eve," Seth answers. "We'll be having a huge party."

"And now, we had dinner catered, so we don't poison any of you with our cooking," Jake says with a smile. "Stay put and we'll be right back."

"Isn't that amazing?" I gush, turning to Edward. "I'm so happy for Jake."

"So does this mean you can be the… best man?"

I can't control my giggle. "I would be happy to stand up for Jake if he asks, and in whatever capacity he wants."

"As long as you don't have to wear a tux. I much prefer seeing your legs," he says salaciously, rubbing my thigh.

I roll my eyes as Jake and Seth come back from the kitchen, carrying several containers that I recognize as being from Maggiano's. They set the dishes in the center of the table, telling everyone to help themselves.

As we eat, Seth tells the story of how Jake proposed. It's so stinkin' sweet that I think I might get cavities. But I can't help the small wave of sadness that comes over me as I wonder if I'll ever have what Jake has — if Edward will ever return my feelings, let alone propose. Realistically, I know he hasn't been in therapy all _that_ long, and though he does seem to be improving, I still worry that he'll never get there.

After our delicious Italian dinner, I corner Jake for a hug. "Seth is the best guy. I'm so happy for you!"

"He really is," Jake smiles. "I had to go through a few frogs before I found my prince, but it was all worth it. Now, if only my best friend wasn't always too busy to hang out with me," he chides, glaring over at Edward.

"Sorry for hogging her," he replies sheepishly, wrapping an arm around me. I look up at him and smile.

"Hey, you know there's an apartment open in the next building; maybe you could move here when your lease is up next month. It'll be just like old times," Jake proposes.

"I happen to like my apartment, thank you very much," I reply, punching his arm. "And it's a hell of a lot more convenient to commute to my office than from here."

Jake sticks his tongue out like a child, making me laugh. Once Edward excuses himself to get another drink, I hug my best friend again.

"I can't believe you're getting married!" I squeal. "Remember when we were little and we used to talk about our weddings? I always wanted the fancy white dress and all you cared about was the party."

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Even before I knew what it meant to be gay, I just couldn't picture myself having a bride in a white dress."

"Maybe Seth can wear a white tux," I reply with a grin.

"Maybe," he laughs. "You'll stand up for me, right?"

"Of course I will!" I squeal again. "Just like we promised each other, right?"

"Even if your mom kept insisting that it wasn't tradition for a woman to stand up for a _man_ at his wedding, or vice versa," he laughs, but then sobers as he gazes down at me. "I still intend to hold up my end of the bargain someday."

"And someday I hope you get the chance."

"Any change with Edward?" he asks.

I shake my head; Jake knows that I told Edward I love him on his birthday. "No declarations, but things are just… really good between us. I'm happy with him. It's only been six months, remember. That's not a lot of time to change a lifetime's worth of issues."

"You have more patience than I ever would," he replies, shaking his head.

"I happen to know that you are a hopeless romantic just like I am, Jacob Black. You'd be just as patient with someone you felt was worth it."

* * *

After the engagement party, Edward drives us back to my apartment. From the moment we get out of the car, he's all over me, kissing me and touching me.

"Edward!" I giggle, trying squirm away. "Give me a chance to unlock the door."

Once we're inside, he spins me around, kissing me with obvious intent. But I have plans for him, which is why I insisted that he spend the night at my place instead of vice versa.

Gently pushing him away, I point toward my couch. "Go sit down and wait for me." He raises an eyebrow, then smirks as he walks away.

In my bedroom, I open the bottom drawer of my chest, which holds all of the costumes I bought, taking out one of the four that Edward hasn't seen yet. I unbutton the blouse I wore to work today, then slide my arms into the top half of the costume and button it up, leaving the top button open.

I step into the costume's skirt and zip it up, then decide to be a little naughty and remove my panties from underneath. Moving into the bathroom, I hurriedly put my hair up in a messy bun, then reach into the drawer again for one of the accessories I bought to go with the costume, smiling as I run my finger over the soft fur.

I place the key on my nightstand, and then taking a deep breath, I walk back into the living room. Edward looks up at the sound of my footsteps, his eyes widening as he takes in my appearance in my "sexy policewoman" costume.

"Edward Cullen?" I ask in my toughest voice.

"Yes," he smirks.

"You're under arrest." I pull the furry pink handcuffs out from behind my back, swinging them back and forth.

"What for?" he asks belligerently, and I try not to smile at the character he's playing.

"For being too sexy for your own good. Now stand up." He obeys my order, giving me his sexiest look as he stares down at me. I should've put high heels on after I changed.

"Take your shirt off. I need to make sure you aren't hiding any contraband."

I watch as he grabs his polo shirt by the back of the neck, yanking it over his head. His muscles ripple and flex and I bite my lip to hold in a moan. Stepping closer, I run my hands from his shoulders down his chest and abs, ending at the top of his pants.

"All clear," I announce. "Now turn around and put your hands behind your back."

Once he's in position, I slip the handcuffs around his wrists, locking him in. I give them a little tug and they seem to be secure.

"Ma'am," he begins in a sexy voice, "Perhaps we could make some sort of deal. Perhaps I could do some sort of… favor for you, in exchange for not putting me in jail."

"What kind of favor?" I reach down and squeeze his ass, making him yelp.

"An-anything you'd like."

"We can… discuss that. Now, you're coming with me down to the station." I turn him to his left, then shove him forward, marching him down the hallway to my bedroom.

I stop him a few feet from the end of the bed, then come around to stand directly in front of him. "Kneel," I demand, and he quickly gets down to his knees, sitting back on his heels in a submissive position. His eyes shine as he looks up at me; he's enjoying this, and the idea that I've got him completely at my mercy is totally turning me on.

Hiking my skirt up slightly, I bring my right leg up to rest on the bed. Edward's eyes are immediately drawn to my exposed flesh, and he licks his lips, which makes _me_ even hotter.

"Ma'am, you look a little… wet. May I take care of that for you?"

"Please," I moan. He scoots closer, and I watch as his tongue licks up the length of my slit. I tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling and tugging as he works me over with his lips and tongue. He's not taking his time, but rather going straight for the kill.

"Ohhhh…" I moan when he sucks at my clit. I almost wish he wasn't handcuffed, so he could use his fingers too, but he's doing a pretty damn good job without them.

With several fast flicks of the tongue, I'm done for, finding it difficult to remain standing as I cry out in pleasure. Edward scoots back a few inches, licking his lips again as he looks up at me.

"Stand up," I rasp, and once he's done so, I begin opening the fly on his khakis. I pull his pants and underwear down together, and he steps out of them. As I straighten up, I lightly grasp the base of his hard cock and lick my way up to the tip, then stroke it with my hand a couple of times.

"Are you as talented with this—" I stop, giving him a little tug, "—as you are with your tongue, Mr. Cullen?"

"If you'll allow me to demonstrate, Ma'am."

"Go sit on the bed," I order, shamelessly staring at his bare ass as he walks around to the side of the bed and sits down. He looks over at me and smiles, and as I step closer, I wonder exactly how to go about this. With his hands behind his back, several of our favorite positions are out.

I settle for straddling Edward's lap right where he sits, taking his cock in my hand and teasingly brushing it back and forth along my slit. Finally I place it at my entrance and staring into his eyes, I slowly sink down, letting him fill me. As I move over him, he noses at the top of my shirt, which is open just enough to tease us both. I hurriedly undo the next few buttons with one hand, moaning as he licks along the top of my bra.

Using his feet on the floor for leverage, he begins thrusting up harder to meet my downward movements, while his mouth sucks on my nipples right through the thin fabric of my bra. I grab hold of his hair, pulling his head back so that I can kiss him. Our tongues tangle together as I ride him hard.

When I come, I feel it in every cell of my body. "Oh God," I moan, clinging to him as he thrusts one, two, three more times before spilling inside me.

Edward collapses backwards and I fall along with him, now sprawled on top of him. As I slowly peel myself away, I look down at his softening cock. "That… should be registered as a lethal weapon," I pant as I flop onto my back.

We lie there as our breathing slows until I realize he must be uncomfortable with his arms still behind his back. I force myself to sit up, then grab the key to the handcuffs, motioning for Edward to roll onto his side. Once I've freed him from the handcuffs, I set them and the key back on my bedside table.

I squeal as Edward tackles me to the bed, holding my arms up above my head as he rolls on top of me.

"Don't do it," he says.

My brow furrows as I stare up at him. Are we still roleplaying? "Don't do what? Put you in jail?"

"No, don't renew your lease." He pauses, taking a deep breath. "Move in with me instead."

My mouth falls open and I can do nothing but stare at him. He wants us to live together?

"I want to come home to you every night, Bella," he says, stroking my cheek. "And I want to wake up with you every morning. That… that means I'm in love with you, right?"

"You really love me?" I whisper.

He smiles, kissing me gently. "Yes," he whispers against my lips. "I love you, and I want you to live with me."

He's pinning me down so I can hardly move, but I lean up to catch his lips, kissing him over and over. Finally he lets my hands go and rolls off of me, then brushes my hair back from my face.

"I had a breakthrough in therapy this week," he says quietly as I turn onto my side to face him. "I understand now why… why I needed to have sex with so many different women. I think it started out initially as me simply enjoying the variety, like any young man, but… at some point it morphed into a way to feel validated — that I was… worthy. And multiple women was a way to keep myself from ever getting emotionally involved. I had to keep things casual, keep _sex_ as casual, so that I could never fall for anyone."

"But why did you not want to fall in love?" I ask, confused.

"I couldn't risk being emotionally rejected if I fell for someone who didn't return my feelings," he explains. The moment he says it, it makes so much sense to me. "I fought that with you for so long, but I could feel myself falling anyway. And I think that's why I was struggling so much with fidelity, because inside I was panicking at the thought of feeling too much and letting myself be vulnerable.

"But ever since you told me that you love me, it's like… this weight has been lifted off of me. You wouldn't reject me because you'd already told me how you feel. It made you safe, and I started to allow myself to really examine my feelings for you.

"I do love you, Bella," he says softly, and I feel tears prick at my eyes. "I can't see a future without you in my life."

Suddenly he's back on top of me, pinning my arms above my head again. "You know, you never answered me. Will you give up your apartment when your lease runs out and move in with me? I know it won't be the most ideal commute to Bellevue, but—"

"Yes," I interrupt with a wide smile on my face. "Yes, I'll move in with you."

* * *

 **A/N:** Edward said I love you! And he did it in style, asking Bella to move in at the same time. Let me know what you think about his revelations!

Who knew Edward had a bit of submissive in him? At least when a sexy policewoman puts him in his place…

Also congrats to Seth and Jake on their engagement!

 **Next chapter's title:** A 1991 #1 song which warned that "the phrase 'I love you' was becoming meaningless." Yes, I looked up that bit of trivia. I couldn't think of any other good clues.

I'll be out of town from Saturday morning until Monday evening, so there may be delays with review replies. Don't let that stop you from leaving one though!


	40. More Than Words

**Author Note:** Everyone seemed to love the last chapter, except for the usual negative Nellies, who still don't have the balls to sign in after 39 chapters.

Congrats to **aarcasaca** , **TiffanyLCullen** , **0 BASIA 0** , **kay0913** , **Lotus Wright** , **GrandeDame** , **Chomping at the FanFic Bit** , **LSU15** , **MIRosebud** , **Don't trust your eyes** , **TrulyOutrageous** , **MorganUNTWriter** , **katbarpar** , **Capricorn75** , **EdwardsFirstKiss** , **zpower21** , **tigger5600** , **shaz308** , **Azlady2003** , **KDMCAM** , **galaxy69uk** , **Tay240** , **stupidlamb2010** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **MissyDy** , **teahoney** , **Agent2cute** , **tawelephant** , **Inmyownbubble21** , **Rebadams7** , **RaeofSunshine85** , **Bugsmamawolf** , **Tootabug** , **Taylor9901** , , **Romana973** , **karo29** , **liatb01** , **Wine and Cheesy** , **kitacullen89** , **Ninkita** and **orion03981** for guessing this chapter's title by Extreme. I used up my "acoustic song" clue in _Patience_ 20 chapters ago, so I was left with an easy one! Maybe I should've said that it was covered by two different boybands in 1999.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 39 – More Than Words_

If it were up to Edward, I'd pack up my things and move in with him immediately after agreeing to it, but I need some time to get things in order before I move. I do bow to his wishes and slowly start moving my stuff, starting with off-season clothes or boxes of books. He happily makes room for me in his closet and dresser.

But we still have to deal with the larger issue, with my larger _things_. Obviously there's no room in Edward's condo for any of my furniture. It's all cheaper stuff anyway, many of the items purchased at Ikea when I was in college. His suggestion is to just sell all of it, but I don't really want to give up everything that's "me" and live with his masculine furniture.

And so we compromise, agreeing to go shopping for all new furniture together. Most of Edward's is even older than mine, though it's not in bad condition.

My birthday is on a Tuesday this year, so I plan a trip to Forks the prior weekend. Edward has to remain behind in Seattle for the furniture delivery, as well as to sell his old furniture on Craigslist. Even though I still have a week left on my lease, I agree to return from Forks straight to his condo — and stay there. We'll place the ads to sell my furniture when I return.

As I'm driving back from Forks, a few fleeting doubts begin to creep in… is this too soon?

My dad was less than thrilled when he found out I'm moving in with Edward, but I'd expected that. He couldn't understand why we don't just wait until we get married to live together. It's a valid question, I suppose, but _will_ we ever get married one day? Or is that pushing the guy who didn't feel emotions for years too far?

My sister was also less than thrilled. Though she likes Edward well enough, she's not sure that he's good for me. I've explained to her why he behaved the way he did, but she's still not convinced that he's truly in therapy for himself, and not just because he knows he can't have me without it. All I know is that right now, I'm happy with Edward and he's making great strides.

And I agree with his simple reasoning for moving in together — I'd like to come home to him every day, too.

Once I arrive in Belltown, I use my key to open the door to Edward's — our — condo, leaving my bag in the foyer as I rush into the living room to check it out.

"You're early," he calls, rushing out of the bedroom shirtless.

"I timed the ferry well," I explain, looking around.

The place looks great. The furniture is softer, not all hard leather, and there's now an area rug covering much of the floor. We kept the two stools he had set up along the granite kitchen counter, but the dining table is new as well.

With Edward trailing behind me, I step into the master bedroom. We've got a brand new king-sized bed — and mattress, even though he said he'd rarely brought women home — as well as slightly smaller-scale furniture that seems to fit better in the small room than his old bedroom set did. And the comforter, no longer just dark brown, coordinates well with the green accent wall behind the bed.

Edward comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "Do you like your new home, Bella?" he asks, nipping at my ear.

"I love it," I tell him honestly. "Now where is your shirt?"

"I just took a shower after going for a run," he chuckles, letting me go. He shrugs a t-shirt over his head then plants two smacking kisses on my lips. "Welcome home. I was planning to cook you dinner for your first official night, so why don't you go relax while I do that."

Smiling, I follow him back into the living room, then sit on the comfortable new couch while Edward continues into the kitchen. A girl could really get used to this. I'm not a horrible cook, but I have no special skills, so my dishes are mainly limited to casseroles. Thanks to his fast food worker past, Edward actually knows how to prepare chicken and steak really well.

Once dinner is in the oven, he takes a break and comes to sit beside me, immediately grabbing hold of my hand. I smile as I look over at him.

"Since when did you start running?" I ask curiously, his previous comment finally registering. I thought he mostly worked out with the weight machines in the fitness room, and occasionally ran on the treadmill.

"Since I met a new… friend, I guess, in the gym yesterday, and he suggested running together so he didn't get lost. His name's Jared. He and his wife, Emily, just moved in here on the 16th floor. Just moved to Seattle, actually, from the Bay Area. He works at Microsoft."

"That's great, Edward," I smile. "That you've got a new friend, I mean. Did you meet his wife, too?"

He shakes his head. "She was at the pool; apparently she was a competitive swimmer back in college. You should get along with her," he adds.

"Why?" I chuckle. "I am the least athletic person there is. And you know I can't swim."

"He said she's an accountant."

"Not quite the same thing, you dolt." I smack at his chest. "You know there's a joke about accountants and actuaries — accountants are actuaries _with_ a personality."

"Ouch," he laughs. "So how did things go in Forks?"

"As well as can be expected," I sigh. "Dad doesn't really agree with living together before marriage, but I explained to him that I'll be 29 years old in two more days, so I think I can make my own decisions."

"Do you want that one day?" he asks softly. "To get married, I mean. Like your friend Jake."

"I—" I stop, not really sure if I can speak freely. I don't want to scare him away.

"Be honest, Bella."

"Yes," I whisper. "I do. I want it all," I add, thinking of the fancy dress, the party… and, later, children.

"I don't know if I see the point of a piece of paper," Edward says, shaking his head. "But… I'd do it, for you. One day, when the time is right. For years I thought I'd never get married — never _want_ to get married. But I could see it with you."

Smiling, I lean over to kiss him gently, before he heaves himself up off the couch. "All right, I need to finish dinner," he says. "Can you set the table? It's a beautiful evening to eat outside on the balcony."

As I gather the plates from the cabinets, I try to peek at what Edward is making for dinner, but he shoos me away. I guess it's a surprise.

He's right about it being a gorgeous evening. I make up the two place settings on the small outdoor table, then stand looking over the railing at the city below. Having grown up on the edge of the forest in a tiny town, I never imagined myself living right in the middle of the hustle and bustle of a big city like Seattle. Heck, it was culture shock when I came here for college and moved into the dorms.

Living in the city will take some getting used to, I imagine, compared to my suburban apartment, but I know that a lot of people enjoy urban living like this. Of course, we can't stay here forever — not if we ever have a family. For one thing, there's only one bedroom, but even if we got one of the two-bedroom condos in this building, I still don't think this is how I'd want my child to grow up. I'd want him or her to have a backyard, with a swing set, just like my siblings and I had.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Edward asks, startling me as he steps onto the balcony, a serving dish in his hands.

"Oh, just the girl from the tiny town surrounded by trees now surrounded by huge buildings," I tell a little white lie as I take my seat. "What is that?" I nod toward our dinner.

"It's sort of a combination of chicken spiedini and chicken parmigiana. I got the recipe online years ago."

"Sounds awesome," I smile. I'm always too afraid of undercooking chicken to make it.

As we eat, I tell Edward about my weekend in Forks, going bowling with the whole family. "Rose is getting huge. She will be so glad when Miss Heather Marie makes her appearance." My sister is due with baby number four in just seven short weeks. "And Sophie and Peyton missed you," I giggle, and he rolls his eyes, smirking. He hasn't been to Forks since the weekend before his birthday, when we celebrated Father's Day a week early.

Once we've finished our meals, Edward dashes inside with our plates, coming back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He pulls out his iPhone to put on some music for us, leaving it on the table, then takes a seat on the lounge chair. Pulling me to sit on his lap, he nuzzles at my neck, causing goosebumps to erupt over my entire body.

"This is how I want to spend every evening," he whispers.

"We can, until it gets too cold this winter."

"Even then," he argues. "We'll just wear our coats."

We cuddle together on the chair, sipping wine while we listen to music. Of course, as they often do, Edward's hands start wandering — first touching my arms, then progressing to skimming my sides. When his thumbs brush against my nipples, I turn and glare at him, but he just looks at me innocently.

"I haven't touched you since Thursday," he complains.

"You poor deprived man," I tease, leaning in for a kiss. Edward has always been hot for me, but since he told me he loves me, I think his libido has increased by a few notches. Maybe he really _has_ figured out that sex is better with emotions.

When I try to pull away, he stops me with his hand on the back of my head, holding me close. Our chaste kisses quickly escalate until his tongue is tangling with my own.

"I want you, Bella," he whispers, his hand slipping underneath the bottom of my shirt. He yanks my bra cup down, pulling and twisting my nipple while his lips suck on my neck. I can feel his erection beneath my leg, and I know it's about time to take this inside.

It seems Edward has the same idea, as he stands up, bringing me with him. I start to head toward the door when he pulls me back into his chest. "Where are you going, Bella?" he asks, a smile in his voice.

"To try out our new bed?"

"Mmmm… what's wrong with right here?" He nips at my shoulder, his left arm holding me tight while his right hand begins working the zipper on my jeans.

"Because… because we're in full view of the other tall buildings around us!"

"Since when do you care?"

I turn my head to look at him and he's clearly serious about this. I'm not wearing a skirt that he can just hike up in back; he'll have to take my pants off. My shirt is long enough to cover at least _some_ of my modesty, though.

The balcony is bordered by a concrete wall, perhaps 15 inches high. Above that is a railing formed of three horizontal metal bars spaced several inches apart — but otherwise completely open to anyone who might be looking this way. He's right, I'm an exhibitionist, but we are truly in full view up here — it's not dark yet.

"H-how?" I ask and a slow grin forms on his face.

Edward walks me over toward the railing, bringing his hands up to cup my breasts while he places soft kisses along my neck.

"Help me take your pants off," he says, and I pull them down, looking around me nervously the entire time. I hear Edward fumbling with his own pants and then bending me forward slightly, he reaches around in front of me to touch between my legs. "You pretend to be modest, but you are so wet right now," he moans. "You've been wanting something like this, haven't you?"

"Y-yes," I manage, while his fingers slip inside me. Not since the Fourth of July have we done anything sexual even pseudo-publicly.

"Put your leg up," he says, and I quickly set my left foot on the concrete wall, then grab onto the top of the railing. His fingers slide back to circle my clit and I whimper as his cock pushes inside. "Hang tight, baby," he warns before he really starts to move.

It's so deliciously naughty to be doing this outside on our balcony. This isn't like that time on the balcony of our hotel in Marina del Rey, in the middle of the night. Someone in one of the other buildings this tall could easily be watching us right now, maybe getting off to the sight of Edward fucking me. I know we're not totally exposed with him behind me and my shirt covering… most, but still…

I moan loudly as Edward speeds up his movements. Even over the music still playing on his phone, I can hear his hips slapping against my ass with every thrust.

"Oh fuck," I groan.

He nips at my neck, his left hand squeezing my breast while his right is still between my legs. "I need you to come, baby," he pants. "Let anyone watching know exactly how I'm making you feel."

"S-so good," I moan. "Oh… oh God… oh God…" And then I'm coming, my entire body shuddering from the force of my orgasm.

"Fuck… fuck!" he grunts before he spills inside me. He doesn't move for a long moment as he catches his breath.

Edward chuckles as he finally pulls out. "You'd think I'd be used to how fucking tight you are when you come, but no."

I slowly bring my leg back to the floor, releasing my death grip on the railing as I sink back against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. What we just did — having sex on our balcony in plain sight — is crazy, really, but Edward always seems to sense what I need, and he's more than happy to give it to me.

"Let's go back inside," he suggests after a few minutes.

I stand there for a moment while Edward collects our pants and his phone, then opens the door and tosses them toward the couch. I yelp when he suddenly grabs me, pulling me up into his arms. "Put me down!"

"Nope," he grins. "I'm supposed to carry you across the threshold, aren't I?"

"When you get married!" I protest. "And I think that means the front door."

"Eh, close enough," he winks, carrying me back inside.

* * *

 **A/N:** So Bella's family wasn't thrilled with their plans to move in together, but she held strong to her convictions.

Bella admitted she'd like to get married someday, but she still hasn't brought up Edward's vasectomy. Do you guys think they should've settled that first, before she moved in?

This wasn't one of the easiest chapters to name. I went with _More Than Words_ for the way Edward anticipated what Bella needed and gave it to her… Why not have a little kink to celebrate her first night in her new place?

 **Next chapter's title:** A mid-90s #1 smash hit that was the only Top 10 hit in this male artist's 45-year career.

For _The Man Next Door_ readers, I got my own Daisy yesterday! I'll post a pic of her on the FictionPad update of this story.


	41. I Would Do Anything for Love

**Author Note:** So the bright side to last chapter's review count is that I had more time to play with my adorable 9-week-old kitten. But it does explain why I had written the time jump to this chapter, since clearly readers don't care to read chapters about happy couples.

Congrats to **EdwardsFirstKiss** , **Capricorn75** , **sherylb** , **MIRosebud** , **Azlady2003** , **LSU15** , **shaz308** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **Tootabug** , **Don't trust your eyes** , **0 BASIA 0** , **Romana973** , **Lotus Wright** and **Taylor9901** for guessing this chapter's title by Meat Loaf.

Does the song's subtitle apply or not… that is the question.

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 40 – I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)_

 _One year later, September 2017_

"…Happy birthday dear, Bella, Happy birthday to you!"

"Now make a wish!" Jake yells. Smiling, I make the same wish I make every year — to be happy and healthy — then blow out the single candle on my piece of cheesecake.

Everyone erupts in cheers and applause, and then Edward wraps his arm around me, pulling me close for a not-polite-for-company kiss. He finally lets me go when someone starts wolf-whistling.

"So how does it feel to be 30?" Seth asks, once everyone has calmed down… or, more likely, started digging in to their own slices of cheesecake.

"You do realize your husband is older than me?"

"Only by two months!" Jake protests.

"That counts," I retort and he sticks his tongue out at me. "Real adult there, Jake."

This is actually my second birthday celebration, thanks to my mid-week birthday. We spent last weekend in Forks, and now I'm spending Friday night out with all of my Seattle friends. I dig into my piece of 30th Anniversary Chocolate Cake Cheesecake — I _had_ to get that one — moaning at the taste.

"Must you do that?" Edward groans.

"Ooo maht?" I try to ask with my mouth full of chocolatey goodness.

"Your moans are making me hard," he whispers in my ear, and I feel my face flush. We've been living together for a year and he's still as hot for me as ever. Our sex life is still as hot as ever.

With a little trial and error, we've found a way to give each of us what we need sexually. For me, Edward looks for ways to feed my exhibitionism, by either touching me or sneakily having sex in public. We somehow managed to do it hidden in the clothing racks of a Target store once. We also may have had sex in the bathroom at Jake and Seth's wedding reception.

And for Edward, I will occasionally put on one of the costumes I bought and we'll roleplay; his favorite is definitely the sexy policewoman — and my furry handcuffs. He hasn't completely moved beyond a need for variety, in any way he can get it. Last Christmas I bought him a copy of the Kama Sutra to feed his creativity; he's fond of making me call out a random page number which we'll then attempt — there have been some spectacular failures.

"Bells," Jake says from my left side. "I don't want to steal your thunder or anything, but… since most everyone here is our friend too, do you mind if Seth and I make an announcement?"

"Sure," I shrug, wondering what on earth Jake could have to announce. They're already married and they look sickeningly happy, so I doubt they're getting divorced.

Jake bangs his fork on his glass until everyone quiets. "Sorry, just need a minute of your time. Bella said it's OK for me to tell you all that…" he pauses dramatically, "Seth and I are having a baby!"

Every head at the table turns to stare at Jake, who's grinning like a Jack O' Lantern.

"Unless we've all been fooled by one of you, I'm not sure how that's possible," Edward chuckles, breaking the silence.

"Very funny," Jake snorts. "We're adopting. We joined an agency six months ago, and we were just matched with a teenage girl who plans to give her baby up when it's born two months from now. Obviously, things could go wrong, she could change her mind or whatever, but… I've got a real good feeling about this. We met her last weekend and she seemed to like us. Her mom is from the Makah reservation and she wants her child to be raised by a Native."

"Jake!" I squeal, reaching out to hug him as everyone calls out their congratulations. "I'm so happy for you guys! Why didn't you tell me you were looking into adopting?"

He shrugs sheepishly. "You know there's all these horror stories about how it can take years to adopt. I didn't want to say anything until we had some good news to share. Honestly we didn't expect to hear anything this soon."

"So are you ready to be a dad in two months?"

"Fuck no!" he exclaims. "You're gonna teach me how to change diapers, right?"

"You've never changed a diaper," I answer dryly.

Jake shakes his head. "It was just… weird to think about changing my nieces' diapers when they were babies."

"You are in for a rude awakening, and I am going to laugh so hard. What are best friends for, right?" I grin.

While I'm certainly not an expert on babies, I babysat Sophie plenty of times when I was in high school. For the first few months, Alice was trying to catch up on the schoolwork she missed when she gave birth, and Jasper was busy at his job. Neither set of parents was willing to help out much, saying that if they'd made the decision to keep the child, she was _their_ responsibility. Rose and I did all we could to help, however.

I actually think Jake and Seth will make great parents, though. Both of them are really good guys, and I'm sure they'll be completely understanding and supportive of whatever their child's hopes and dreams are.

* * *

That night as I lie in Edward's arms, I can't shut my mind off. My best friend, who's just two months older than me, is going to be a dad! Hell, my sister had _three_ kids by the time she was my age.

My age… I'm 30 years old now. I'm not getting any younger. No, my biological clock isn't ticking _that_ fast, but it's time to start at least thinking about when to start a family.

Or _if_ , I suppose. My live-in boyfriend had a vasectomy 12 years ago. And while he privately expressed surprise at Jake and Seth's decision to adopt, he didn't make any comments tonight that indicated he'd be 100% opposed to the idea of having his own child one day.

First, I need to figure out what the chances are that he _can_.

I get my opportunity on Saturday, while Edward is at work. I get online with my laptop, Googling to find out what the chances are that a vasectomy can be successfully reversed.

And what I read isn't very encouraging. Best results are obtained when the reversal is within three years after the vasectomy. After 10 years, there's only a 30% chance of the partner becoming pregnant.

 _Thirty percent._ I stare at the number on the page as my hopes of having my own child slip away. No, it's not a zero percent chance, but… it's not great. Would Edward be willing to go through another surgery when the chances are that low? Could I really ask him to?

* * *

"Earth to Bella!"

"Huh?" I respond, surprised to hear Edward calling me.

"That's the third time I've called you," he says, sitting down beside me on the couch. "You were just staring off into space."

"Sorry." I give him a small smile.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asks, touching my face to make me look him in the eye.

"Nothing's wrong," I tell him. And there's not. I've just been having an imaginary conversation in my head for the last two weeks about how to talk to Edward about having his vasectomy reversed.

He scoots closer, hugging me to him. "Why don't you tell me what you're thinking so hard about?"

"It's… it's just… Jake and Seth's news got me thinking," I finally blurt out, looking up at Edward nervously. When his expression doesn't change, I realize he doesn't get it. "I'm 30 now. Starting a family isn't something I can put off forever."

Edward's eyes widen and he stares at me for what feels like minutes before turning away and running his hand through his hair. "You want a baby," he says flatly.

"N-not right this minute! Or even necessarily in the next few months, but… in the next five years, I guess."

"And you just decided this after Jake announced they're adopting?" he asks, peeking over at me as he holds his head in his hand.

"No," I reply softly. "I've always assumed I'd have kids at some point after I got established in my career. Jake's announcement just reminded me that my time is — well, not running out exactly, but… the window is getting smaller."

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" he asks, looking perplexed.

"I… I didn't know how to bring it up without scaring you away. It never seemed like the right time," I shrug.

"You know it's not possible for me to father a child, Bella."

I swallow thickly, deciding to just spit it out. "Vasectomies can be reversed." He whips his head around to stare at me, his mouth hanging open. "Because it's been more than 10 years, the probability of success wouldn't be as high as it could be, but… it's still possible."

"You want me to get surgery to reverse it?"

"The reasons why you got it done in the first place are no longer valid… right?"

Edward takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I suppose that's true," he says softly, taking my hand in his. "That doesn't mean I've ever thought about having a child."

"I'm not asking you to give me any kind of decision right now," I assure him. "I'm just asking you to please think about it. I understand that the reversal may not work and maybe you won't ever be able to father a child. I know I'm asking a lot for you to go through that for something that may not work."

"Bella." He shakes his head as his thumb rubs over the back of my hand. "I love you. There's almost nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Getting the vasectomy wasn't difficult at all. It was an outpatient procedure and I've always felt that those few days of being uncomfortable were well worth the results. I'm not afraid of another surgery."

"So you'll do it?" I clarify, my eyes wide.

He sighs. "I'm saying that having surgery isn't a deciding factor for me. But… I can't make this decision quickly. I need to talk to my therapist. I've never pictured myself as a father. It would be such a huge change for me, and… I need time, Bella."

"I'll give you time," I reply quickly. "I just… I've been trying for the last two weeks to figure out how to bring it up. I don't want you to think that you have to agree or… or that I'll leave you. This has to be something we both want."

"But you want to be a mom."

"I do," I smile. "Someday."

"You don't want four kids, do you?" he asks, side-eyeing me.

"No," I chuckle. "My sister is crazy. Just two, I think."

"I'll think about it," he says, pulling me into a hug, "But that's all I can promise."

* * *

Jason William Clearwater-Black is born one week before Thanksgiving. On Saturday, the birth mother signs the papers giving him over to Jake and Seth. They call me from the hospital before bringing him home for the first time, and I rush to their new, larger apartment.

I'm there with my phone, taking pictures as they get their new son out of the car for the first time and bring him inside. He's absolutely the cutest baby ever, with lightly tanned skin and a shock of jet black hair. And he's sound asleep from the car ride home.

"Can I hold him?" I whisper, practically bouncing on my feet as I stare down at the tiny baby in his carrier.

"You can feed him later," Jake proposes. "They showed us how to feed dolls in the parenting course we took, but never with a real live baby. I want to make sure we don't screw it up."

"I hope they showed you how to change diapers as well."

"They did," Seth chuckles. "And we changed them in the hospital — it's a bit different with a squirming baby."

"Good, because I am not coming over here in the middle of the night to change your son's diaper."

I text Edward to let him know where I am and ask him to come over when he gets off work, then settle in to stare at the baby while Seth holds him.

When Jason begins crying for a bottle, I show the guys how to prepare it, then get comfortable on the couch as Seth places him in my arms. I hold the nipple up to the baby's lips and he begins sucking on it right away. "Good appetite," I comment with a smile.

I'm still feeding the baby when Edward shows up. Jake lets him in and he stops mid-stride when he sees me. I look up at him and smile. Since I'm surrounded by the two dads, he takes a seat on the loveseat, watching me.

"Do you guys know how to burp him?" I ask, noticing Jason seems to be slowing down.

"Sure we do," Jake says proudly, so I pass the baby off to him.

"Good man!" he chuckles at the baby's cute burp, rubbing his back. "Do you want to hold him, Edward?"

"Oh, um… sure," he hesitates. He gets up to wash his hands, and I smile as Jake places the baby in his arms once he's back and settled again.

"Do you need me to show you how to hold him?" I ask, remembering how he nearly dropped Peyton the first time he met her.

"I've got it," he shakes his head. "When I was about 16, my foster mom at the time took in a pretty small baby for a few weeks. I'm out of practice, but…" He stops, shrugging.

I get out my phone again, taking more pictures as Edward holds his pinky up to Jason's hand to watch him grab hold.

"Kid's got a strong grip already," Jake says proudly. "I'll have him doing pull-ups in no time."

Suddenly there's a tell-tale noise and Edward stiffens. "Ummm…"

I quickly get up to take the baby from Edward. "Come on, guys," I call, heading toward the nursery. "Time to see if you really know how to change a dirty diaper."

Once I'm satisfied that Jake and Seth know what they're doing, they put Jason down in his bassinette, and Seth calls for pizza for dinner, over Jake's objections.

"Have you always wanted to be a dad?" Edward asks as we wait for our delivery.

"Always," Seth says with a smile.

"You're not worried about… Jason not having a mom?" he asks curiously.

"Nah," Jake says. "I lost my mom when I was 12, and I turned out all right. My dad did a great job at being both a mom and a dad to me. There's no reason why Seth and I can't be both."

"We love him," Seth speaks up, "I've got faith that it'll all work out."

"And there's always Auntie Bella," Jake laughs.

After we've eaten, Edward and I leave the guys alone with their new son. He's quiet on the way home, and once we get inside, he leads me to the couch. His hand tears at his hair, and I begin to fear that whatever he has to say isn't going to be good.

"I don't really know anything about being a dad," he begins. "But… I can't let my fears of not being good enough stop me. I let my fear of falling in love and getting hurt hold me back for too long, and I know I can't do that again. It's not fair to you."

"What are you saying?" I whisper, my heart starting to beat faster at his encouraging words.

"I'm saying I'll do it. I'll… I'll talk to my doctor and get a referral to a specialist to try and reverse my vasectomy."

"We can try for a baby?" I ask, tears shining in my eyes.

"If it's successful, then yes."

* * *

 **A/N:** It took a year, but Jake and Seth's news finally inspired Bella to talk to Edward about the possibility of children one day. After thinking it over for a couple of months, he's agreed to try to get his vasectomy reversed. Is that the best route for them to take? Do you think the surgery could be successful when best results are within three years of the initial surgery?

How cute are new parents Jake and Seth?

Oh, the Target thing? One of my coworkers did that with his wife about 20 years ago.

 **Next chapter's title:** The latest I've ever gone… a 2003 Top 20 hit by an American female artist (though I'd thought it was 90s until I looked it up). The title made moosals laugh when she saw it. :)

My longtime pre-reader moosals has a new vamp story! It's New Moon A/U. Check it out: fanfiction (d-o-t) net/s/12141284/1/In-Your-Shoes


	42. The First Cut Is the Deepest

**Author Note:** Last regular chapter! Just an Epilogue to go on Friday.

I stumped everyone with this one! With some added help from Wikipedia, **Azlady2003** and **Kathryn L. Malone** finally guessed this chapter's title by Sheryl Crow, originally done by Cat Stevens. The most popular guess was Lil' Kim's _Magic Stick_ , which I've never heard of in my life!

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 41 – The First Cut Is the Deepest_

Edward gets an appointment with his primary care physician during the first week of December. I offer to come with him, but he assures me that he's a big boy who can go to the doctor by himself. And besides, all he's really looking for is a referral to a urologist.

"How did it go?" I ask the minute I walk in the door that evening.

"Fine," he chuckles as I toss my coat and purse to the side, moving to sit beside him on the couch. "He gave me a complete exam to make sure I wouldn't have any problems with having surgery, and then he gave me the name of a specialist to call. This guy's supposed to be the best in the area."

"Awesome," I smile. "Did you call him yet?"

"Not yet, my impatient girl," he smiles, pecking my lips. "I'll call first chance I get tomorrow." He pauses, looking over at me carefully. "He, um, suggested that you see your doctor for an exam as well."

"What? Why?" We're talking about Edward, not me!

"Because he said there's no point in me going through a procedure that's not covered by insurance if my partner is infertile. Since you've never had a child, we don't know if you can get pregnant," he says gently. "I've fathered a child before, so… we know I was fertile at one point."

"Oh." I blink a few times. Of course, it makes sense, though I haven't considered it before. "All right, I'll make an appointment with my doctor."

"So we're really doing this," he muses, shaking his head. He kisses me softly, then leans his forehead against mine.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ you don't need me to come with you?" I ask for about the tenth time.

"Bella, my love, please stop worrying." Edward places a big, smacking kiss on my lips, pulling me in close.

"It's not _worry_ , exactly," I protest. "I just… I want to know everything the doctor has to say."

"And I will tell you tonight. I promise. I'll take notes," he adds with a laugh, making me roll my eyes.

I really can't help my excitement. It turned out that the urologist, Dr. Gerandy, really is recognized as the best at reversing vasectomies in all of western Washington. He's so busy that the earliest available appointment for even a consultation was mid-January. Now that the day is finally here, I just hope it goes well and Edward will be able to get an appointment for the surgery itself sometime before I'm 40.

I spend much of the day staring at my phone, waiting for word from Edward. He does text me when he leaves Dr. Gerandy's office, but he says he'll explain everything tonight.

I let Edward know when I'm on my way home and he suggests meeting at the gastropub for dinner. When I arrive, I find him already seated at a table with a beer and a Diet Coke for me.

"Hey," he smiles as I lean down to kiss him before taking my seat.

"Tell me everything."

"So…" he begins, playing with the label on his bottle, "The doctor said I'm an ideal candidate for a successful reversal in all ways except one."

"The length of time since your surgery."

"Right," he nods. "He put my chances for a successful reversal at about 44% based on a large study done several years ago."

"Oh!" I exclaim. "That's actually higher than what I saw on WebMD."

"He said the reversal surgery is a safe procedure with a low complication rate. It'll take three to four hours, and he likes to do it at a real hospital instead of a surgery center. He does the surgery under general anesthesia, and once I've recovered from that I can go home — no overnight stay.

"Since I just work a desk job, he said I should be able to go back to work after just a few days. It's really not all that different from when I got the vasectomy initially, though it's a more difficult and complicated surgery for him."

"OK," I smile, "So nothing to scare you off."

"Well… there is the bit about refraining from sex for three weeks after surgery."

I can't help it, I laugh out loud. "That _would_ be the worst part for you."

Edward nods, giving me a small smile. "During the surgery, they'll check for the presence of sperm in the vas deferens, to know exactly what kind of procedure they need to perform. After 12 years, he said there's a 20-25% chance that they won't find sperm and I'll need the more complicated procedure. But if they _do_ find sperm, they can take a sample and freeze it."

"Freeze it?" I question.

"Yeah, so if the reversal is unsuccessful and I can't father a child the fun way, we could still go through in vitro fertilization." My eyes widen. "Because IVF is pretty involved and expensive, it's a Plan B, not our Plan A, but…"

"But it means we could still have our baby, even if the surgery doesn't work," I breathe.

"Right," he nods, reaching out to take my hand. "The odds are against us with the surgery itself, but that doesn't mean we'll be unable to have a child."

"Edward, that's… that's great! When I had read up a bit online, I didn't see that that was a possibility. So when will we know if the surgery is a success?"

"After about two months, he'll check for the presence of sperm in my semen. He said it usually appears within a few months if the reversal was successful, but it could take a year or more. If he doesn't find any the first time, he'll keep checking every couple of months — unless you turn up pregnant, I guess," he chuckles. "But if we get to a year with nothing showing up, then it might be time to look into Plan B.

"But, Bella, even if it's technically a success, that doesn't mean the sperm will be normal and you'll be able to get pregnant. We'll still just have to wait and see."

"I understand," I reply softly. "And I know it's likely to take a few months of trying, even if the surgery is successful."

"We'll have fun trying though, right?" he winks.

I roll my eyes. "This all sounds great, Edward — better than I'd hoped for. So what's the catch? There must be one," I chuckle.

He smiles. "The catch is that Dr. Gerandy is very much in demand and he can't fit me into his schedule until sometime in April. I took the earliest available appointment though."

"So… three months from now. That's fine. It's not like I need to get pregnant immediately. I mean, I still have my IUD."

"I guess there's no point in getting that removed before we know if the surgery is successful," he points out.

"Yeah, though it'll have to be removed no later than December anyway since it needs to be replaced after five years."

"With any luck, we'll know for sure by then," he smiles, squeezing my hand.

* * *

When the day of Edward's surgery finally arrives, I curse whoever decided we need to be at the hospital by 7:30 in the morning. I mean, seriously? I hardly got any sleep last night, thanks to my boyfriend wanting to get his fill of me before he's not allowed to have sex for three weeks. I'm lucky I can still walk.

Once we've taken care of all of the paperwork, Edward dons the oh-so-attractive gown and I sit with him as he waits to be wheeled into surgery.

"Come sit by me," he pouts, and I roll my eyes, getting up from the hard plastic chair to sit on the edge of the bed. He pulls me in for a kiss, which quickly leads to his tongue tangling with mine.

"Edward," I moan, fighting him off. "Do you really want to have a hard-on when they come in here to get you?"

"We probably have time for a quickie before then," he protests, his lips moving over my jaw.

"Down, boy." I shove him away. "Behave or I'm going back to the chair." He gives me his best pout, but I'm not falling for it. Finally he sighs, leaning back against the pillow.

"I've never been under general anesthesia before," he muses. "The doctor just did an epidural the first time."

"Are you nervous?"

He shrugs. "A little, but… I'll survive."

"Thank you for doing this for me."

"It's for both of us," he replies, pulling me into his arms.

About 15 minutes later, a pair of orderlies comes for Edward and I give him one last kiss before they wheel him into the OR. I head to the waiting room, nervously playing with my phone, though I know it'll be several hours before I hear anything.

I text Jake to let him know Edward was taken into surgery, but I haven't told my family about any of this. I know they'll question why Edward had a vasectomy so young, and I really don't want them to think badly of him. While they know about some of his issues, I've kept the worst from them. It's irrelevant anyway — his therapy was successful and he only has sessions once a month now.

As the hours tick away, I must check the time on my phone every 15 minutes. I know Edward said it would take three to four hours, but I'm worried that every additional minute may mean that he needs the more complicated procedure, which will greatly lessen the chances of success.

I head down to the cafeteria after two hours, picking up a wrap to go, afraid of missing the doctor if I'm gone too long.

Just past the three-hour mark, Dr. Gerandy walks into the waiting room. "Ms. Swan?" he calls and I hurriedly stand up.

"How's Edward?" I ask hurriedly.

"He's out of surgery and has been moved to the recovery room," the doctor begins, and I breathe a sigh of relief. "You should be able to see him in a few minutes. There was sperm present in fluid in the vas deferens, so I performed a vasovasostomy. Additionally, we retrieved and froze some sperm, in case the reversal is not successful."

"So… our chances are good that it _will_ be successful?"

"As good as they can be, over 12 years after the initial surgery," he smiles. "You can go ahead and go down to the recovery room. A nurse will give you a list of instructions to follow once we release him, and I'll write him a prescription for three days of pain medication."

"Thank you, Doctor," I shake his hand, then rush to Edward's side.

I find him looking very much asleep on the hospital bed, though a bit paler than usual. Taking a seat on a chair, I brush his hair back, hoping that he can feel my touch. I speak quietly to him, telling him first how much I love him, then progressing to exactly what I'm going to do to him once the ban on sex is lifted.

Once his eyes finally flutter open, I take hold of his hand, calling his name softly. He looks straight at me, his brow furrowed. "You look just like my girlfriend," he mumbles.

"I _am_ your girlfriend, silly."

"She has a sweater just like that," he continues as if I haven't spoken. I chuckle, brushing his hair back softly. "My girlfriend won't like you touching me. She's very, very jealous."

"Well, we just won't tell her then, will we?" I try to hide my smile at his loopiness while the anesthesia wears off.

When the nurse comes in, she smiles upon seeing he's awake, assuring me that his confusion is completely normal after I tell her about the things he's said. I step out of the room while she checks him over, firing off a quick text to Jake before I'm allowed back in.

Edward is asleep when I return. Eventually, his eyes flutter open again and they seem much clearer. "Bella?" he rasps.

"It's me."

"Can I have a kiss?"

Smiling, I lean down to kiss him. "Welcome back. Are you in any pain?"

"A little." I press the button for the nurse and she gives him a dose of pain medication through his IV.

Once he's pronounced ready to leave, the IV is removed and the two of us help him into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Remember, don't get the surgery site wet for at least 48 hours. Wear an athletic supporter at all times, unless you're showering, for the next three weeks. After that you should continue to wear it when exercising until the doctor says you can stop.

"You can apply ice to reduce swelling once you get home, and take it easy for the next day or so, all right? No exercise of any kind and no sex for three weeks."

"Got it," he grimaces, carefully moving into the wheelchair.

A nurse and I help Edward into the car and I drive us to the nearest pharmacy to pick up his prescription. At home, I help him out of the car and into the elevator, then lead him to sit on the couch, taking his jacket and shoes off for him.

"I'll go get an ice pack and then start dinner, OK?"

"Mmm… stay with me once you get it."

"You haven't eaten since last night and you need to eat with the pain meds."

"You can order something later. I don't need the drugs right now."

"Fine," I sigh, heading into the kitchen. I grab one of the bags of frozen peas I bought just for this occasion, wrapping them in a dish towel.

Sitting on the end of the couch, I help Edward to lie down with his head in my lap, then hold the ice pack over his groin with my left hand. He moans when I set it there and I know he will need those meds eventually.

"You're gonna milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?"

He grins lazily. "Of course. But the nurse did say I need to take it easy for a few days."

"Yes, she did. And I'm going to make sure you listen." The last thing we need is for him to get an infection or tear his stitches or something.

"Maybe I can get a sponge bath in the morning since I can't get my incision wet," he hints, and I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

"We'll see. There's no point in getting all worked up when you can't do anything about it."

He pouts, but nods. "I can take care of _you_ though."

"We'll see," I repeat. "I don't trust you. If I give you an inch, you'll take a mile."

Grinning, he closes his eyes, and I go back to stroking his hair. "I love you," I whisper. "So much more than I could ever explain."

"Love you too," he mumbles.

* * *

 **A/N:** So there you have it, Edward had the surgery. You need to wait and see in the Epilogue if it was successful! Even if it wasn't, they have another option via IVF.

The two different success stats (30% vs. 44%) are both correct, I think. One study lumped everyone with over 10 years since the initial surgery together, while the other one split the patients into smaller groups.

Edward waking up from surgery was based on my friend's daughter a couple years ago, who thought her mom was a nurse wearing a sweatshirt for the college she'd be attending, hehe.

 **Next chapter's title:** A new wave hit featured on the soundtrack to _The 40-Year-Old Virgin_. Last chance! I'll add up the past results and crown an overall winner on Friday.

* * *

P.S. Anyone know how to convince my kitten to stop terrorizing my 12-year-old cat? Pouncing is her favorite form of play. She even chases her own tail!


	43. Epilogue: Just Got Lucky

**Author Note:** This is it, folks! Thanks for taking this ride with me! I know this story was different from the insta-love norm, and I appreciate you all for giving it a chance.

Congrats to **Techu** , **Romana973** , **Scattycow** , **GrandeDame** , **Capricorn75** , **orion03981** , **That'sMzPeachesTYVM** , **Judyblue95** , **Ninkita** , **shaz308** , **astonmartin823** , **sherylb** , **Taylor9901** , **Azlady2003** , **MIRosebud** , **0 BASIA 0** , **Kathryn L. Malone** , **Tootabug** and **Lotus Wright** for guessing this chapter's title by JoBoxers. The most popular incorrect guess was A Flock of Seagulls' _I Ran (So Far Away)_ , which wouldn't be the most positive title!

Thanks to moosals and edwardisaputz for pre-reading! Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 42 – Just Got Lucky_

 _Three years later, April 2021_

Bliss.

I'm alone in the house, and it's totally quiet as I stretch out on the couch for an afternoon nap — just two hours to charge my batteries is all I need.

I wasn't prepared for how little sleep I'd get once I became a mom. And it's gotten even worse since the birth of our second child five weeks ago.

I wouldn't trade my life for anything though. I've got everything I've ever wanted — a successful career, a loving and sexy husband, and two beautiful children. It hasn't always been easy, but every struggle has been worth it.

* * *

At Edward's first post-operative check in June, Dr. Gerandy couldn't find any sperm in his semen. I tried not to get discouraged, since he'd said it could take up to a year. Still, studies had noted that of the men who did have successful reversals, doctors could find sperm in 80% of them within three months.

It was at his second check in August that the doctor found sperm — Edward's sperm count wasn't high, but it was _there_. Given that I really liked the effects of my hormonal IUD on my period, I waited a couple more months to let his swimmers get stronger before I had the IUD removed.

And then the fun of "trying" began. Both Edward and I decided that we'd just relax and have sex the same as we always had. I had just turned 31, and the online calculator I'd found said that there was a 15% chance of getting pregnant with each cycle. It would take five months for the probability of conceiving to exceed 50%, so there was no need to panic if a few months went by with nothing. I certainly wasn't going to take a pregnancy test in anticipation every month.

Though we no longer went to the lifestyle club, Edward and I had spent the two previous Halloweens at the biggest and best costume parties he could find. When the holiday came up again, just two weeks after my IUD was removed, we attended a party dressed as Hugh Hefner and his Playboy bunny. It was a sexy costume for me, but not over the top, while Edward wore black satin pajama pants and a red satin robe.

Towards the end of the night, he knelt down in front of me. I thought he was trying something sexual until he pulled a small velvet box out of his robe pocket.

"Not that I'm particularly traditional," he began, "But marriage usually comes before children. From the moment I met you, I had to have you. Back then, I only wanted you for your body, but now I know I want… everything with you. I want to be able to call you mine — officially. I want you to be my wife."

"Yes!" I practically shouted, laughing when instead of getting up off the floor, he pulled me down to his level, kissing me until I thought I was going to lose my mind.

Suddenly, he pulled away, shaking his head. "I forgot your ring," he said, opening the box to reveal a gorgeous white gold ring with small diamonds and sapphires swirled around a round center diamond.

"It's beautiful," I gasped, my hand shaking as I held it out for him to slide the ring onto my left hand.

"I know it's not the largest stone, but you've always said that you don't like huge diamonds."

"I love it," I assured him, admiring the way the ring looked on my finger. My hands and fingers were so small that I'd always thought that larger rings looked ridiculous on me when trying them on in stores.

Once we were officially engaged, we had a wedding to plan! I'd always wanted a church wedding with a long white dress, and Edward was OK with whatever pleased me. We decided to get married in Forks, keeping it a relatively small affair. My mom, sister and sister-in-law were a huge help with planning the wedding, since I couldn't make it to Forks every weekend.

We set the date for the last weekend in March — perhaps a bit earlier than I'd wanted, but at least we'd be back from our honeymoon in time to celebrate Easter with my family. Given the time of year, I chose an off-the-shoulder dress with three-quarter length sleeves. The top of the gorgeous dress was full of beaded lace, while the trumpet skirt flowed into a short train.

As I walked down the aisle to my husband-to-be, my heart skipped a beat at how handsome he was in his traditional black tuxedo. He took hold of my hand as soon as I reached him, giving me his sexiest smirk before winking at me.

We each repeated our vows and as soon as the pastor uttered the infamous words, "You may kiss the bride," I was in Edward's arms. I lost myself in his kiss, completely forgetting where we were — until the pastor cleared his throat. My new husband was so proud of himself that I couldn't even be upset with him.

We held our wedding reception at the Lodge, then spent the night at a bed and breakfast in Forks before driving back to Seattle in the morning to catch our flight to Hawaii. We stayed in Kauai at a private resort, spending our days sightseeing and our nights making love… occasionally on the beach or in the ocean. It was amazing.

* * *

My period had been slightly irregular since it had reappeared after the IUD was removed, so I tried not to get too excited when it was a day or so late, especially given the added stress of planning the wedding.

But while spending Mother's Day in Forks with Edward and my family, I realized that I was over a _week_ late. I told Rose of my suspicions, and she ran out to the drugstore for a pregnancy test; I was sure the clerk thought it was for _her_.

The test's instructions said that it was most accurate first thing in the morning, so I peed on the stick as soon as I woke up on Sunday, then stared at the two lines in shock.

I was pregnant. And right in the middle of the 9 to 14-month window given as the average for conceiving after a vasectomy reversal. The actuary in me rejoiced.

As calmly as I could, I removed my few toiletries from the Ziploc bag and added the test stick instead. When my siblings and their families arrived to celebrate Mother's Day, I pulled the bag from my purse, letting everyone know that my mom was going to be a grandmother for the seventh time.

I made an appointment with my doctor for as soon as I could, and after confirming my pregnancy, she gave my due date as January 11. Once it had really sunk in that I was going to be a _mom_ , I realized that we had a looming deadline to find a new place to live. I was _not_ going to be packing and moving when I was hugely pregnant.

Deciding where to move _to_ was quite the battle. Edward's office was near the University of Washington campus, while mine was in Bellevue. We eventually settled on something in the middle, on Mercer Island. The homes there were expensive, but with what we could get from selling the condo plus our combined salaries, we could afford it.

We settled on a four-bedroom home on the west side of the island. The home had been built in 1959, but remodeled within the last five years. It was striking, a modern look that wasn't a huge shock to Edward's system, with numerous skylights. While it had a large deck out back, the yard itself wasn't particularly usable. However, it was located just a short walk away from a lovely park. We made an offer the day we toured the home and moved in over the summer.

Luckily, I never really experienced much in the way of morning sickness. I think Edward knew before I did, however, that my breasts were growing, pointing it out to me about two weeks before I realized that my bras were getting too tight. He was a big fan of my new figure — and my libido.

At our 20-week ultrasound, just after we'd moved, we learned that we were having a boy. Even though he'd never expressed a preference, I could tell that Edward was excited about having a son.

From that point forward, I just got… bigger. My libido cooled off around the time I started to resemble a beached whale, but Edward continued to think I was the sexiest thing ever. He had a lot of fun researching the best positions to have sex while pregnant, but he definitely preferred me riding him until that just became too damn much work for me.

Jackson Charles Cullen was born on January 3, weighing 7 pounds 12 ounces and 21 inches long. And every single inch of him was perfect, from the light hair on top of his head — just like his daddy once had — to his 10 perfect toes.

Edward stayed home with me for the first two weeks, and I really was grateful for the extra help. After the first six weeks, he altered his schedule so he could stay home on Wednesdays as well as his usual Mondays, which allowed me to work part-time for the next six weeks while he stayed home with the baby. Once we both went back to work full time, Jackson started going to a daycare near my office.

Of course, reaching the six-week mark also meant that I was clear to resume sex with my husband. Before that, once I'd started to feel more like myself, I had given Edward the occasional blowjob. Even so, he had tried to convince me to "cheat" for weeks before my check-up.

Deciding what to do about birth control was quite the debate. He was adamant that he didn't want to use condoms with his _wife_ , while I was adamant about not wanting so-called Irish twins. We compromised, deciding that Edward would pull out, at least until I went back to work full time.

We knew we wanted a second child, so from that point on, I was willing to take my chances. Edward's sperm counts still weren't normal, so the probability of conceiving quickly was low. While our sex life was just as _creative_ as it had always been, it wasn't as active as it'd been in the past. I was perpetually exhausted until Jackson began sleeping through the night. Edward was tired too, but that never really slowed down his libido. Still, he didn't like it if I wasn't an active participant, and would rather go without that have me lying there like a lump, as he put it.

I found out I was pregnant again at the beginning of August, when Jackson was seven months old. That meant our children would be close together, but at least my body had had some time to recover before going through another pregnancy.

And it was a good thing, because my second pregnancy was a 180-degree turnaround from my first. The morning sickness started within a week of my positive pregnancy test and continued even past the ultrasound that told us we were having a girl. Even Edward wasn't interested in touching me when I was throwing up constantly.

I had a good couple of months in the middle, when we traded off babysitting favors with Jake and Seth so that both couples could get some sexy alone time. But then one day when I was about seven months along, I passed out at my office. My supervisor called an ambulance, and tests revealed that my blood pressure was dangerously high. Once I was stabilized, I was put on bed rest until I gave birth.

My mom came to stay with us, to help take care of the house and the baby while I couldn't. I felt like a bit of a failure. My sister had had four easy pregnancies — why couldn't I have been as lucky? I felt like I was missing important milestones in my son's life. I was relegated to sitting on the couch shooting video with my phone while Edward helped him take his first steps.

Amelia Elizabeth Cullen was born on March 20, the first day of spring. And from the very beginning she was the exact opposite of her big brother. Her fuzzy hair was dark like mine, and unfortunately, she had a temper and a good set of lungs. She never seemed to sleep more than two hours at a time, leaving me far beyond exhausted. I took every possible opportunity to nap, especially once Mom left, three weeks after I gave birth.

* * *

"Hey, baby," Edward whispers, stroking my cheek. I slowly open my eyes, yawning. "Amelia is hungry."

I stretch my tired muscles as I sit up, opening my shirt. He places my crying daughter in my arms and she latches on immediately.

"I'm gonna put Jackson down for a nap," he says, pecking my lips.

When he comes back, Edward sits beside me, rubbing my back and tracing mindless patterns on my arm. "How was the park?" I ask. Now that the weather is warming up, he takes the kids every chance he gets.

"Fine," he answers after a long pause. I turn my head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. He sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I'll tell you when you aren't holding Amelia."

Once I've burped her, he carries her to the nursery, then returns with the baby monitor. He again pulls at his hair nervously.

"So… there's this single mom who comes to the park. She has twins that are three or four. She's been really friendly, talking to me while they play, but… today she… she hit on me."

"What a fucking bitch," I growl. "You're there with a newborn, so clearly there's a woman in your life!"

"I've talked about you, so yeah, she knows I'm happily married. She, er, guessed that I'm still in the sex embargo period."

"So she thought you'd be interested?" I exclaim, my voice going up an octave. What nerve this woman has. "Wait — _are_ you interested?"

"Of course not! I love you, I only want you. But… I also haven't had sex in months. I can't deny that there was a part of me—"

"You mean your dick."

"Yeah," he admits, swallowing thickly. "I didn't do anything — I _wouldn't_ do anything, but… I don't think I should take the kids to the park again."

"You're afraid of giving in?"

"No! I'd never break my vow to you, Bella. Never," he promises. "I just don't want to encourage her."

I clench my teeth, trying to remain calm. I trust my husband… but I don't trust this woman. He shouldn't have to avoid the park because of _her_.

"Maybe you could go back next weekend," I propose. "I could give you a head start and then follow you… catch her in the act."

"And give her a piece of your mind?"

I shrug, smirking.

* * *

As soon as Edward takes off for the park with both kids in the double stroller, I hand Jake the diaper bag full of everything they'll need for the next few hours, then help him add the infant car seat base to his SUV; Jackson can ride in Jason's car seat.

We drive down to the park, and as soon as I get out of the car, I see a blonde woman talking to Edward, while two toddler boys play in a sandbox nearby.

I march determinedly up to him, throwing my arms around his neck. "Hi, honey," I greet him. "The doctor says I'm good to go." His eyes light up before I claim his lips in a blatantly possessive kiss.

When I pull away, I glance over at the woman, pretending to notice her for the first time. She's young and pretty, not skanky as I'd imagined. Well, not to look at, anyway.

"So you're the bitch who's been hitting on my husband, huh?" I smile as she stutters and stammers. "Yeah, that's right, he told me what you've been up to. Well, listen up — Edward and I are very happily married, and there's no room for a third person in our relationship. So back the hell off."

I pause, taking a deep breath. "Let's go home, Edward." I trail my hand down his chest suggestively.

Grinning, he takes my hand in his as he pushes the stroller over to the SUV, and we get both kids situated with Uncle Jake. "Should I wait for you to call?" he asks, smiling knowingly.

"That might be best," Edward says with a wink.

"Girl, you are gonna get _lucky_!" Jake high-fives me, making me laugh as he climbs up into the driver's seat.

Edward pulls me close, kissing the top of my head. "I'm the lucky one," he whispers.

* * *

 **A/N:** That's it! Three is definitely a crowd for Edward and Bella now… though they are a family of four!

I'll put a link to Bella's wedding dress on FictionPad. The ring from Vera Wang isn't showing up anymore.

I might come back and write an additional EPOV Epilogue, if I can form the ideas in my head. My furry little baby may make writing tough anything for a while! Most of the kitty advice said tire her out so she stops being a little demon to the big cat, haha.

* * *

Overall results from the chapter guessing: **MIRosebud** was our big winner with **22** correct guesses! She was followed by **2loveybunnies** , **shaz308** and **Capricorn75** , with 17, 16 and 15, respectively. Just ask if you want to know your placing. :)


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